Terrible arguments with friends

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

I went on a hen do and the bride was fucked and wanted to go home early. I went back too but some girls wanted to stay out. So I said, it’s your holiday too, stay out. The rest of the weekend they made my life a living hell because it wasn’t anyone else’s holiday, it was her hen. I was bullied to the point of panic attacks and I couldn’t fly home early because the flight was £700. I’d sit on a sun lounger and they’d all get up and move to the other side of the pool. Her sister screamed at me in a restaurant to the point the whole place went silent. It all caused me a nervous breakdown and three years on I’m still on medication. I’ve never felt so attacked in my life. Every so often I see the bride or one of her cronies and it sends me into complete meltdown.
Apart from that I’ve loved every hen do I’ve been on.

This is ridiculous! You went home with the bride and was nice to them! I'm so sorry you went through this what a nest of vipers.

 

[Casperron]

My best friend of 9 years left me alone on a night out to go have sex with a stranger, I had just turned 18 and was very drunk in a city centre and my phone was dead which she knew. Hasn’t been the same since, that was 3.5 years ago and I haven’t seen her since then but we do talk
She also stole from me that night

 

[Friendsfan]

Women can just be so awful! I think the only friend I’ve had proper shouting arguments with was a male friend and we were like brother and sister so we could yell and cry at each other, not talk for a day then just meet up and be back to best friends. But I’ve had so many bad experiences with females since I was at school that even the really close female friends I have now I think I still keep at enough of a distance that I don’t think they could really hurt me.

One if the most upsetting was in the last few years, my mum was terminally ill which they knew and I’d moved into look after her. It was a really distressing time. There were a few of us who’d had a WhatsApp group chat for years. My phone has been going off all day but I’d been so busy with mum I didn’t have time to look until later when there were over 100 messages. One of my friends was making jokes about her disastrous love life and she’s generally pretty good at making fun of herself. I sent a meme I thought she’d find funny especially as she was making jokes but for some reason she took offence to it. I felt like she humiliated me in front of the others, I apologised to her on the group chat and privately. She’s known me for years and I pointed out to her she knew me well enough to know I’d never try to hurt her and that I just thought she’d find it funny. She just wasn’t having any of it. They all stopped using the group chat so I knew they must have set up another and I didn’t hear from any of them for about 6 months when suddenly out of the blue they started using the group chat again and invited me out for one of their birthdays. I just felt too uncomfortable so I said no. Since then my mum and my dad have both died really close together and only one of them contacted me. I’m not one for confrontation or fighting so I just unfollowed them all and know that I’m far better off without them if that’s how it’s going to be but I still find it all a bit ridiculous and I couldn’t believe they’d behave that way towards me when they knew the turmoil I was in

That’s so sad that you went through it all without any of those friends there for you when you needed support the most. I always think you find out who stays in your life when shit gets real. xxx You deserve better. Hope you are okay x

 

[Kim Mild]

I had a gay best friend who I met purely by accident when we were both meeting other people at the same place. They were both really late, and we ended up talking and finding out we were at the same college and became good friends.
Turns out he was really controlling and it all came to a head when I kissed a lad in the pub and the gay bestie went off it and told me i wasn't allowed to go out with the pub lad . So we had a massive falling out. Looking back there were so many other signs of him being controlling

 

[Sosig]

I had a gay best friend for a few years, he was always a bit high maintenance and fancied himself as a bit of a socialite, if there wasn’t an event/possible Instagram opportunity he wasn’t interested and he always likes to be the centre of a attention.

we spoke every single day and bounced off each other all the time, we’d have a ball when we went out but the start of this year he started to turn a bit toxic in sense that he became quite argumentative with people and he was always falling out with people. He forgot my birthday two years in a row and when I reminded him on the day I got a rude response back and basically took it out on me that he forgot - but when it was his birthday it was a month long event and you didn’t hear the last of it.

Anyway fast forward a couple of months when we’re about to go into lockdown and I’m at home, alone with Covid. He works in a pub and was watching Rishi’s speech about the furlough scheme and we were just messaging small talk and he asked how I was. He suggested some remedies that may help me (which certainly help flu symptoms but Covid was a different league) I said oh they may not help but thank you I’ll probably just sleep more instead and that was it, he completely flipped and started gaslighting me saying that I was being rude to him and asking me why, and that he is under intense pressure because he could be out of a job etc etc.

I was crying and had a panic attack because I was trying to reason with him and tell him I wasn’t I was being polite I was trying to call him but he wouldnt pick up. He said he would call back after he finished work but I said it’s okay I just wanted to apologise if it looked like I was being rude I really wasn’t which led him to gaslight me further and told me to stop going on about it. When I tried to reason with him again he sent me a emoji.

I didn’t message him back. He didn’t unfollow me but still to this day doesn’t view my Instagram stories (petty) so he’s obviously muted me or something.

I was very angry about it during lockdown, July came when the pubs were allowed to reopen and I thought I’d be the bigger person and send him a message basically to wish him luck for his first shift back, but the conversation was so forced and well mannered there wasn’t much of a vibe, so I stopped messaging.

At times I do feel very sad towards the situation and other times it’s a “how dare he treat me like that” - we probably won’t ever be friends again.

(sorry for the essay!)

 

[bunnyboo]

I was friends with a toxic person for years who I naively thought had the capacity to change.

He ended up trying to turn everyone against me lmao, wrote an email about me (lol I know) and sent it to our friend group. He put up a post on his 'anonymous' twitter bragging how he dumped his two friends of 10 years because we aren't 'good people' (hahahaha) Even when we were friends he would bitch about me to everyone I knew. And because I used to be such a walk over, I let him. I even spent a lot of money to go visit him when he was teaching English in an Asian country and he ruined my whole experience and trip.

I got a text from him about a year after the famous email incident saying he wanted to meet up because he "misses his friend". I knew he was going to do this, I predicted it. I remember plotting out the rant I would send him when he come groveling back. But, when he finally did.. I kind of figured I was over him and his drama and by snapping at him/calling him every name under the sun, I'd be giving in to what he really wanted. So I did the coldest thing I could think of. I ghosted him. I left him on read, deleted his texts and moved on with my life

Haven't looked back since!

 

[TruffleTrifle]

Wasn’t really a fall out more of a peter out but it still hurt. She was my best friend throughout secondary school, 6th form, even uni when we went to different ones we were still as close as could be.
Then in 2015/2016 I was having an awful time in a new job: horrible commute, long hours, bullied by my boss and a team member who was meant to be training me, hardly saw my boyfriend.. my mental health was fucked to say the least. My anxiety reached an extent that couldn’t face going to see her and hanging out with her new friend group (her fellas friends) in her new city for a party (If it had just been me and her it would’ve been okay). I made my apologies but after that things were off but I’m not sure what the actual cause was for her stopping speaking to me. She stopped telling me when she was coming back to see her family when she would have before so we could meet up even if just for a coffee before she got the train home, she avoided making plans when I tried to organise things... I offered to drive up and see her when I had just got my car and licence, no response. The happy birthdays stopped, I ended up hearing about her engagement from facebook. Last thing I knew she hadn’t even invited me to the wedding and asked someone she’d only known for a few years (and frequently bitched to me about) to be her MOH. I deleted her off socials as I found it upsetting to see. Even last year I’d have dreams where I’d see her in person and confront her and ask her to just tell me WHY she cut me out of her life. After being close for so long it really felt like a kick in the stomach. I’m too afraid to reach out again and be rejected.

 

[Friendsfan]

What’s the worst argument you’ve ever had with a friend? Has it been the same since?


I has a major fall out with one of my best friend as I had to leave her birthday night out early as I was up for work early the next day. She was funny on the night as I left and would send me arseholey texts for days and days after (some which I ignored. Some which contained simply STUPID suggestions that I should’ve booked the day off work for her birthday ) we had a nice time up until I left but she hated that I had to go early. I was hounded for ages with messages and we argued a lot.

Almost 10 years later it’s still not the same. Totally ruined over one night out

I know a girl like that. Texts you to remind you to book time off for her birthday
What about my birthday

 

[Escapist]

Me and my other half had best friends who were engaged. They had been together for 20years.
Me and her were very close, we went on girly holidays would text all the time. I honestly wanted to ask her if she would look after my babies if me and my other half were to die. We had such an amazing friendship.
Then she split up with her fiancé and completely shut me out of her life because he was friends with my other half. I saw her recently and she just turned her back to me and blanked me. I miss our friendship so much

 

[Chablis1]

Oh god,years ago when my youngest started school she made friends with two lads
i became mates with their mothers
what I couldn’t see,from day one that both women where very controlling and would shut me out if I didn’t do things their way
(id just got away from dv so was very vulnerable)
i was a single mum to 6,one had 6 (5 didn’t live with her/grown adults) (Her fella was on about 40k and one had a kid but was getting married to a rich bloke (who was on about 100k) so she didn’t have to work again(she went on to have kids with him ‘so I’m set up for life’)
it got to the point they’d both start on me for doing basics like shopping at Asda (just do it online!) or buying my kids school shoes/clothes/toys (they had family who would often step in to give them a break or buy the kids what they needed-I didn’t have that)
they tried to get me to decorate my house how they wanted,told my kids some utter bullshit and seemed to think I had loads of money-that should only be spent on them
heavens forbid I bought myself a ‘treat’ like shower gel!
theyd think nothing of raiding my fridge to save them from feeding their kids even though they where in a lot more money than me
theyd help themselves to anything they fancied but I was unreasonable to ask for it back
i once went Xmas shopping and they both yelled at me for wasting money even though I’d saved for it all year
anyway one went into labour-I had her kid and I had to take her kid from school to home with mine in tow as she was ill and dad couldn’t do it (meant to be working but was often at the pub)
id often babysit at my own expense but they never offered back to help me out
I slogged my guts out trying to make them happy/stop them from having a go for about two years
it got to the point I’d feel guilty for buying basics cos I knew they’d have a pop at me
anyway it got to my daughters 5th birthday-I spent a fortune on crap for the guests (those two kids,my mates kids and my own)
they just didn’t show up-even though they had said the day before they would (free childcare) and didn’t answer my messages

they when went on a spree of slagging me off to anyone who would listen (mainly other mums) and I was frozen out of about 99% of the school groups and my lot got bullied because of it

it ended up with us moving away from the area to get away (along with other issues) and I’ll never forget just how bitchy and nasty they where
there was no need-once they couldn’t control me they turned-I’m wary to this day of other women

Goodness, what a pair of horrible cunts. So pleased you managed to move away from the area. I can understand why you’re wary of striking up a friendship with other women xx

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I remember this friend invited me to their hen night. The friendship was kinda strained anyway, I had not long had a baby 3 months prior, and was breastfeeding (plus the usual feeling crap about my body etc). So I declined and apologised because logistically it just wasn’t feasible due to not being able to express enough milk for the time I’d be gone (it’s really not as easy to express milk as people think!). As a mother herself I thought she would get it, even without the breastfeeding element.

I could tell she was pissed off. She had a child of her own, but used formula from the off so her experiences of feeding her kid as a baby were different to mine. She posted some snarky comment on social media about how some parents are gonna end up creating ‘clingy children’ because they don’t know how to let go or some bullshit, clearly aimed at me because she was salty. My child was 12 weeks old for fucks sake. This was years ago and the child in question is in no way ‘clingy’ today.

Not sure if this counts as it wasn’t necessarily an argument, at least not a full blown shouty one. But after the wedding, which I only went to because my partner was good friends with the groom, I never spoke to her again. She had a habit of causing issues by not talking to people when she had a problem with someone and instead posting vague passive aggressive shit on social media, so tiresome.

I went on a hen do and the bride was fucked and wanted to go home early. I went back too but some girls wanted to stay out. So I said, it’s your holiday too, stay out. The rest of the weekend they made my life a living hell because it wasn’t anyone else’s holiday, it was her hen. I was bullied to the point of panic attacks and I couldn’t fly home early because the flight was £700. I’d sit on a sun lounger and they’d all get up and move to the other side of the pool. Her sister screamed at me in a restaurant to the point the whole place went silent. It all caused me a nervous breakdown and three years on I’m still on medication. I’ve never felt so attacked in my life. Every so often I see the bride or one of her cronies and it sends me into complete meltdown.
Apart from that I’ve loved every hen do I’ve been on.

That is terrible. I’m so sorry they put you through that.

 

[Laur91]

I think I read about this story of yours on the Hen Do Gone Wrong thread. She wasn't happy with the trip to the beach you arranged, was she?

yeah that’s me! She had a 2 night stay in Brighton in a pent house flat, dinner booked (which she complained about cos if she knew she was having Italian she wouldn’t have had pizza the night before..) activities (cos she doesn’t drink) and weather was scorching so we could spend loads of time on the beach/outside at bars. Still complained there wasn’t enough to do and wanted things like a “scavenger hunt” which is now an inside joke with all my family and friends.

I know deep down it was the influence of the other girls, they were either her soon-to-be family or work colleagues so she couldn’t risk pissing them off. Therefore I was the collateral damage in it all. She’s a coward and if I saw her in the street now I’d take great pleasure in telling her so, 2 years on I’m still rebuilding my mental health to feel somewhat like the person I was before that train wreck of a weekend!

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I had been really good friends with someone I met through school for about 6-7 years. Our children were in the same years, our oldest were really good friends. She used to look after my son once a week when he was a baby and I was at work, I asked her to be his godparent. Then one day she took something I said as a criticism. I apologised and tried to explain what I had actually meant but she blanked me for 2 months. Eventually we spoke again and talked it thorough, and we tried to meet up a few times but the friendship was ruined. This was 3 years ago and it still upsets me. I now see that it wasn't the healthiest of relationships but it does make me sad that it ended as it did.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Went to uni with someone I thought was a close friend. In short, basically used me for my knowledge (gleaned from MANY MANY hours spent in the library) and caught her stealing references from me for her own dissertation which was very similar to mine when I left it out to pop to the toilet. Was TERRIFIED that I’d get done for plagiarism so near killed myself to find new references and to get my dissertation in before hers.

We now don’t speak but she follows me on social. I didn’t argue with her as I hate conflict and as there was no trust left, I didn’t want her friendship anymore!

 

[Gembo]

That’s so sad that you went through it all without any of those friends there for you when you needed support the most. I always think you find out who stays in your life when shit gets real. xxx You deserve better. Hope you are okay x

Thank you, I was very lucky that I have some really wonderful people in my life who have given me a lot of love and support. It was very sad that they being amongst some of my oldest friends didn’t but I am over it now and whilst I still don’t understand it just reading the stories here shows that people do sometimes inexplicably (to us anyway) turn their backs on us and whilst I was angry to start with (really angry!) the passing of my parents taught me to try my hardest to focus my energy on the people who do show me love and just let go of those that don’t. I hold no anger or hate in my heart for them but I do keep my guard just a little way up around most people. Thank you for your kind words xx

 

[iloveanimals]

I went on a hen do and the bride was fucked and wanted to go home early. I went back too but some girls wanted to stay out. So I said, it’s your holiday too, stay out. The rest of the weekend they made my life a living hell because it wasn’t anyone else’s holiday, it was her hen. I was bullied to the point of panic attacks and I couldn’t fly home early because the flight was £700. I’d sit on a sun lounger and they’d all get up and move to the other side of the pool. Her sister screamed at me in a restaurant to the point the whole place went silent. It all caused me a nervous breakdown and three years on I’m still on medication. I’ve never felt so attacked in my life. Every so often I see the bride or one of her cronies and it sends me into complete meltdown.
Apart from that I’ve loved every hen do I’ve been on.

what a bunch of bitches, and childish too. I want you to never see them again. This is why ive never been interested in large groups of women, they intimidate me. x

 

[Days28]

Met my best friend when I was 11 at secondary school, we had a great 18+ years of friendship until she got with a boyfriend who was a right ‘wrong un’. - drugs, violence, far too much alcohol - I tried to help/stood by her for about a year and a half of it - it was sad and exhausting but she was my mate and I loved her to bits and really believed things she would see the light and dump him.

final straw was on a night out (just me and her) I went to the toilet and when I came back she had disappeared with my bag - phone, keys and money all in it. panicking and alone I walked to her house (it was about 1am) where the loser boyfriend answered the door and told me to f-off or else he would shut me up, she was home, didn’t want to see me and my bag wasn’t there.

I had to get my brother up (who luckily lived close by) to take me home, break into my
house - we cancelled my bank card, replaced mobile Phone etc.

She refused to speak to me for 2 weeks (I reached out and asked to talk via text) and then changed her mind and rang my phone 30+ times a day, in the end I emailed her - said I couldn’t watch her throw her life away anymore and the bag was the final straw, she admitted it was in her house and had some friends return the bag, keys & (now cancelled) bank card. - the Phone and £50 cash that were in it was never returned.

the mutual friends (My school peers) that returned it let me know
How disgusted they were that I ended the friendship when she was in such an
Abusive relationship and needed me. I’ve always felt awful about that part & if I see them In the street my tummy quite literally churns. Interestingly They have nothing to do with her now although I don’t know what happened.

10 years later we are civil on Instagram, I wish her well but can never go back to what we had, she did luckily get away from him and seems to be happy now. Looking back there were a few red flags that her needs were always prioritised & above mine in the friendship.

 

[XXSJPXX]

A bit off topic and not a fall out (actually a bit pathetic of me to post) but a girl i was really good friends with as a kid recently unfriended me on facebook, ok not a big deal as we didn't actually speak but it seems to be only me she has deleted as i can see she still has everyone else we went to school with on her social media. Like...what did i do

 

[Ceelea]

I hate it when supposed friends turn full psycho.

 

[Maid22]

A bit off topic and not a fall out (actually a bit pathetic of me to post) but a girl i was really good friends with as a kid recently unfriended me on facebook, ok not a big deal as we didn't actually speak but it seems to be only me she has deleted as i can see she still has everyone else we went to school with on her social media. Like...what did i do

This is one of many reasons why I won't do face ache, you are well rid of her