My predictions for this new season:
Catelynn and Tyler will have some mental health issues, or their parents or kids will. Just anything that fills their airtime to distract from the fact that they are unemployed layabouts. Brandon and Teresa will be pissed off that they can’t stop talking about their failed open adoption arrangement, then Tyler will insist on talking about their being pissed off on National tv, and Catelynn will say unconvincingly that she still believes adoption is a good thing.
Cheyanne, Zak, Cory will have several ott parties and make self centred speeches about how wonderful they all are. They will make an unnecessarily big deal out of any inconvenience, such as Cory being away from home for a short period for ‘work’.
Maci will strengthen her bond with Jen and Larry, showing compassion for what Ryan has put them through. Jen will cry thick mascara tears and Larry’s face will turn red every time he’s been near the wine bottle. Ryan will probably not be seen at all because last season he was claiming to have finally been enlightened over his additions and now can’t show his face for shame. Bentley will also likely not be seen or barely, Maci and Taylor will try to push back mtv on filming asking him sensitive questions…they’ll focus on showing him playing sports etc if they are pushed to involve him.
Ashley will be pissed off at everyone else, and refuse to engage in any type of peace arrangement, egged on by her mother and sister, put on thick makeup and give the camera some black girl from the projects attitude. She will be separated from Bar, but then randomly reconcile for no reason.
Brianna will make her storyline about a new boyfriend, wanting another baby etc, just because she has nothin else to film. She’ll alienate Luis further by shit-talking him on national tv again and then he will show his face for 5 seconds to pass Stella a gift as a lame attempt to try to rectify his public reputation and she will look at him like he’s a stranger. Devoin will walk around dressed like a gangster with expensive trainers and gold bracelets, Brittany will sit in the corner making withering comments, and Roxanne will take sides with Devoin/Luis not matter how shittily they treat her granddaughters in vain hope that history doesn’t repeat itself as she’s never gotten over being left to raise her.
Amber will sit on the couch, talk to the producers because no-one else wants to film with her and cry about how she is too lazy to have custody of her kids. Leah will reach some milestone like having her first boyfriend and Christina will do all the relevant parenting work. Gary will wear his ‘dad bod’ t-shirt.
Farrah will make a surprise appearance because the rating are falling and she loves a cash grab. She will complain that she is too good for the show and be rude to her mother who wants more than anything to be a reality star in her own right, blame the loss of Daddy Derek for all her problems and burst into tears, Michael will stand by waiting for instructions, then Farrah will quit because someone brought her a cold coffee, but not before trying to push Sofia into the limelight because making her a social media/reality star would be good income, Sofia will use the opportunity to plug her new band she’s just joined even though she, like her grandmother, has no musical talent.
Leah will be concerned about the girls’s being woke enough, fly some pride flags and start wondering if it’s time for them to talk about transgender issues, forget that Ali is supposed to have been writing a book..and that she was supposed to have trained as a realtor, get bored and wonder if she should have stayed married to either of her husbands and declare that she doesn’t need a man, while also constantly telling everyone that she is single. Corey wont be seen because Miranda doesn’t trust mtv not to embarrass them, and Jeremy won’t be seen because Addie loves him more than her mother and Leah won’t want the public to realise that.
McKenzie will return, her husband will have disappeared, the school will raise concerns that her kids are feral and emaciated. She will put the kids on a milkshake diet and become its brand ambassador. If she runs out of things to film, she will thank the lord she is still alive and lament the loss of her mother, but not to worry the lord is looking after her as well. MTV will regret bringing her back, due to it being like watching paint dry and bring her in for crisis talks with producers.
Jade and Sean will continue to make good life progress, while being dragged down by her parents. If they have no real issues, they will move house or Kloie will get behind at school to give them something to talk about, everyone will fast forward their segments.
Reunion time with Dr Drew, and Nessa will say ‘got it’ after every answer given by her interviewees in a dismissive tone. Drew will claim the show has single-handedly reduced teen pregnancy in the USA by some unrealistic percentage, while ignoring the fact that all the show actually promotes is that teenagers can become millionaires and never have to do a real days work in their lives if they get pregnant then apply to reality tv.
Off camera:
Chelsea will be happily satisfied that she made her money from the show and got out at the right moment, she won’t comment on anything or may not even bother to watch it.
Kailyn will watch every second, scrutinise every word said, then bitch about the other women on her podcast, particularly Brianna, while simultaneously claiming she doesn’t care about the show, the people and doesn’t want to be part of it.
Jenelle will continue to be pissed off that David got her fired, and hope to rejoin the show, which won’t happen because mtv know the audience only watch her segments for Barb who will say no because everything with Jace is so sensitive and she won’t want him on camera, so Jenelle will get high high high while waiting for CPS to arrive, but still make time to create a quick Tik-Tok to tell everyone how she’s been crying all day.
Catelynn and Tyler will have some mental health issues, or their parents or kids will. Just anything that fills their airtime to distract from the fact that they are unemployed layabouts. Brandon and Teresa will be pissed off that they can’t stop talking about their failed open adoption arrangement, then Tyler will insist on talking about their being pissed off on National tv, and Catelynn will say unconvincingly that she still believes adoption is a good thing.
Cheyanne, Zak, Cory will have several ott parties and make self centred speeches about how wonderful they all are. They will make an unnecessarily big deal out of any inconvenience, such as Cory being away from home for a short period for ‘work’.
Maci will strengthen her bond with Jen and Larry, showing compassion for what Ryan has put them through. Jen will cry thick mascara tears and Larry’s face will turn red every time he’s been near the wine bottle. Ryan will probably not be seen at all because last season he was claiming to have finally been enlightened over his additions and now can’t show his face for shame. Bentley will also likely not be seen or barely, Maci and Taylor will try to push back mtv on filming asking him sensitive questions…they’ll focus on showing him playing sports etc if they are pushed to involve him.
Ashley will be pissed off at everyone else, and refuse to engage in any type of peace arrangement, egged on by her mother and sister, put on thick makeup and give the camera some black girl from the projects attitude. She will be separated from Bar, but then randomly reconcile for no reason.
Brianna will make her storyline about a new boyfriend, wanting another baby etc, just because she has nothin else to film. She’ll alienate Luis further by shit-talking him on national tv again and then he will show his face for 5 seconds to pass Stella a gift as a lame attempt to try to rectify his public reputation and she will look at him like he’s a stranger. Devoin will walk around dressed like a gangster with expensive trainers and gold bracelets, Brittany will sit in the corner making withering comments, and Roxanne will take sides with Devoin/Luis not matter how shittily they treat her granddaughters in vain hope that history doesn’t repeat itself as she’s never gotten over being left to raise her.
Amber will sit on the couch, talk to the producers because no-one else wants to film with her and cry about how she is too lazy to have custody of her kids. Leah will reach some milestone like having her first boyfriend and Christina will do all the relevant parenting work. Gary will wear his ‘dad bod’ t-shirt.
Farrah will make a surprise appearance because the rating are falling and she loves a cash grab. She will complain that she is too good for the show and be rude to her mother who wants more than anything to be a reality star in her own right, blame the loss of Daddy Derek for all her problems and burst into tears, Michael will stand by waiting for instructions, then Farrah will quit because someone brought her a cold coffee, but not before trying to push Sofia into the limelight because making her a social media/reality star would be good income, Sofia will use the opportunity to plug her new band she’s just joined even though she, like her grandmother, has no musical talent.
Leah will be concerned about the girls’s being woke enough, fly some pride flags and start wondering if it’s time for them to talk about transgender issues, forget that Ali is supposed to have been writing a book..and that she was supposed to have trained as a realtor, get bored and wonder if she should have stayed married to either of her husbands and declare that she doesn’t need a man, while also constantly telling everyone that she is single. Corey wont be seen because Miranda doesn’t trust mtv not to embarrass them, and Jeremy won’t be seen because Addie loves him more than her mother and Leah won’t want the public to realise that.
McKenzie will return, her husband will have disappeared, the school will raise concerns that her kids are feral and emaciated. She will put the kids on a milkshake diet and become its brand ambassador. If she runs out of things to film, she will thank the lord she is still alive and lament the loss of her mother, but not to worry the lord is looking after her as well. MTV will regret bringing her back, due to it being like watching paint dry and bring her in for crisis talks with producers.
Jade and Sean will continue to make good life progress, while being dragged down by her parents. If they have no real issues, they will move house or Kloie will get behind at school to give them something to talk about, everyone will fast forward their segments.
Reunion time with Dr Drew, and Nessa will say ‘got it’ after every answer given by her interviewees in a dismissive tone. Drew will claim the show has single-handedly reduced teen pregnancy in the USA by some unrealistic percentage, while ignoring the fact that all the show actually promotes is that teenagers can become millionaires and never have to do a real days work in their lives if they get pregnant then apply to reality tv.
Off camera:
Chelsea will be happily satisfied that she made her money from the show and got out at the right moment, she won’t comment on anything or may not even bother to watch it.
Kailyn will watch every second, scrutinise every word said, then bitch about the other women on her podcast, particularly Brianna, while simultaneously claiming she doesn’t care about the show, the people and doesn’t want to be part of it.
Jenelle will continue to be pissed off that David got her fired, and hope to rejoin the show, which won’t happen because mtv know the audience only watch her segments for Barb who will say no because everything with Jace is so sensitive and she won’t want him on camera, so Jenelle will get high high high while waiting for CPS to arrive, but still make time to create a quick Tik-Tok to tell everyone how she’s been crying all day.
.. Maybe I’m just stereotyping because of the pink nail varnish and because he speaks so feminine. Maybe kids are just more relaxed and expressive than when I was younger?
about Javi 
