Tattle Turds #3

[AnneinHever]

yes tho he pretended like it wasnt about them
View attachment 1380622
its interesting btw that neither he nor Alice are attacking Ioan's brother (except of Alice calling Gill's kids a failure). Alice has attacked all the other three (the mom by far the most obvs)

I’m speechless. Really. How old are they? 15? I think that this is Malice by the way.

Spoiler: meraily reply

I'm feeling bad because I turned down a job offer. It was a lot more money than I make now but there were some things really off that I won't go into, just think my husband will be disappointed because the money was so good.

I know this job would have made me miserable but yeah. 'the hub' has always made more than me and despite that he's complete Alice when it comes to cleaning and cooking and any domestic stuff which I do all and am primary carer of our kids, I do feel guilty. Meh

edit: obviously this was a job as full-time paid troll for a mysterious Welsh company...

Any job that makes you miserable is not worth it. I’m sure you’ll get a better offer soon!

 

[Hiraeth]

Spoiler: meraily reply

I'm feeling bad because I turned down a job offer. It was a lot more money than I make now but there were some things really off that I won't go into, just think my husband will be disappointed because the money was so good.

I know this job would have made me miserable but yeah. 'the hub' has always made more than me and despite that he's complete Alice when it comes to cleaning and cooking and any domestic stuff which I do all and am primary carer of our kids, I do feel guilty. Meh

edit: obviously this was a job as full-time paid troll for a mysterious Welsh company...

Spoiler: You did the right thing 💜

My friend, be kind to yourself. You did the right thing--money cannot buy happiness. I am the breadwinner and cook/maid/carer for my husband (also an Alice when it comes to working or domesticity, but he has actual diagnosed serious health issues). My firm recently merged with another large firm and, though the pay is better, the job makes me absolutely miserable and has actually contributed more to my crushing depression than anything else. And you should be proud of yourself for listening to your inner voice and noticing the red flags with that other job. You probably saved yourself a lot of stress and heartache, so well done you. If you ever want to chat I am here! *hugs*

 

[bats*itbarbie]

I'm living for the memes!

(having a really really bad depression-day so they are helping a lot)

Hugs Manzana . hope the black dog goes to sleep for you soon. its a right witch. Hmm, I think I'm gonna christen mine Alice!

 

[Lulugrace]

Spoiler: You did the right thing 💜

My friend, be kind to yourself. You did the right thing--money cannot buy happiness. I am the breadwinner and cook/maid/carer for my husband (also an Alice when it comes to working or domesticity, but he has actual diagnosed serious health issues). My firm recently merged with another large firm and, though the pay is better, the job makes me absolutely miserable and has actually contributed more to my crushing depression than anything else. And you should be proud of yourself for listening to your inner voice and noticing the red flags with that other job. You probably saved yourself a lot of stress and heartache, so well done you. If you ever want to chat I am here! *hugs*

I agree, you spend the majority of your day/week at work and yes all jobs are tit at times, but if it makes you miserable then it's not worth your own mental health.
@Hiraeth, I hope things get better for you at work, oddly enough I work in Mergers and Acquisitions, and see how it can impact the staff/work/dynamics etc x

 

[BigBonedBuzzard]

@TheNotoriousManzana. Don't feel too bad about it. The hub will get over it. I'm in a similar position, I have a job I love and enjoy going to (with rare exceptions), but it's not the best payed position both my education and my experience could offer. But I prefer less money and less stress to more money and much more stress. Healthier in so many ways. Just wait till you find something that doesn't feel fishy, and go then for that.

 

[claudiarocks]

Good grief lol I think I’m gonna be on this thread more until that loon kicks off ha ha what a week

 

[JoelFizz]

I’m speechless. Really. How old are they? 15? I think that this is Malice by the way.

I'm still in the belief that the socksib is Alice, as are the other accounts associated with socksib. Especially the wife. Who was met at Alice's wedding.

 

[claudiarocks]

I'm still in the belief that the socksib is Alice, as are the other accounts associated with socksib. Especially the wife. Who was met at Alice's wedding.

It really does Piss me off lol I know it is but then it’s like that who’s that Rachel then lol or playing Rachel

 

[upyernelly]

Spoiler: Just some love

I’m at a loss for words, forgive me. I just feel so heartbroken and sorry, but also so hopeful and certain that you have what you need—apart from you and within you—to fight.

I read a book by Audre Lorde in which she detailed having been diagnosed with cancer—breast cancer, I believe. Then there came this part where she sat in the doctor’s office, went home, laid in bed at night, all the while ruminating on her diagnosis. And she thought about all the times she expressed fears or doubts over various significant life occurrences.

And then she asked herself aloud, “What on Earth had I EVER been afraid of?”

It was like she had found her strength. She looked upon her past terrors and realized that the power to overcome them had been within her all along, and that she still had that power.

I can’t pretend to understand the smash of a cancer diagnosis upon one’s heart. But I can confidently say that, for what it’s worth, between your diagnosis and all it entails you’re going to experience life—waking up, fostering your incredible career in social work, loving your husband who will always support you, eating dinners, chatting with good friends. And despite any stressors that emerge during these life-things…I hope you’re going to bear the words of Audre Lorde, and that you’re going to realize (however many times) that this world cannot conquer you. Nothing here can conquer you, Nelly. And it especially won’t dare try to conquer your spirit.

There is endless love in here, endless love JUST for you. Please take it, and please continue on in your journey on this great spinning rock. Anything that tries to steal your peace, will ultimately fail. So much love.

Omg I love Audre Lorde so I’m off to find some strength through her- thank you RTP

And to everyone you are all truly humbling.
Somehow it’s easier to receive support and kindness here atm than it is to seek it out 1-1 in person.

much love to you all

<<and yes, duck cancer>>

 

[ReturningthePearls]

This will sound really stupid, probably, but I do this little thing ALL the time on my social media pages because I think it makes friends feel just a little bit better about themselves/their lives in difficult circumstances. It can be really healing, if you let it. Does anyone wanna try?

Share at least one amazing/beautiful/empowering thing that happened to you this week—like, a really wonderful thing that uplifted you in some way.

Example: I’m working on some marker and coloured pencil portraits for my Etsy shop and this one seems to be working out well. (Watch me mess it up tonight lmao)

Spoiler: Stylish Muslim Girl

If anyone else wants to share, please, please do! I’d love to see the beauty happening in your life.

 

[lulooo]

Spoiler: meraily reply

I'm feeling bad because I turned down a job offer. It was a lot more money than I make now but there were some things really off that I won't go into, just think my husband will be disappointed because the money was so good.

I know this job would have made me miserable but yeah. 'the hub' has always made more than me and despite that he's complete Alice when it comes to cleaning and cooking and any domestic stuff which I do all and am primary carer of our kids, I do feel guilty. Meh

edit: obviously this was a job as full-time paid troll for a mysterious Welsh company...

Go with your instincts. If it feels off it probably is. What is meant for you won’t pass you by

 

[Autisteuse]

Spoiler: meraily reply

I'm feeling bad because I turned down a job offer. It was a lot more money than I make now but there were some things really off that I won't go into, just think my husband will be disappointed because the money was so good.

I know this job would have made me miserable but yeah. 'the hub' has always made more than me and despite that he's complete Alice when it comes to cleaning and cooking and any domestic stuff which I do all and am primary carer of our kids, I do feel guilty. Meh

edit: obviously this was a job as full-time paid troll for a mysterious Welsh company...

Re: your guilt. I wonder if you've come across the Marxist feminist calculations that determine labour in the home is equivalent, or more than, office work? Unpaid. Of course. Because historically, women's bodies were the site of labour. In our (thankfully) progressive age, your own body has become a site of unpaid labour also.
You're running a house; you're cooking, cleaning and raising the kids. That's equivalent labour. What you do ensures that you and your husband have a comfortable life. Were you not to do it, you as a couple would be in chaos or paying someone a fortune to do it for you.
Don't underestimate your value, your worth or your contribution. Your husband simply couldn't manage without you. How would he cope? and even more so, how would he cope if you were in a job which was miserable, which then affected your domestic and child-raising abilities?
I hope he appreciates what you do for him, your children and home. I hope he thanks you and treasures you for it. If not, he needs a reminder.
Your labour is a precious, unsung commodity. Don't short change yourself. Value what you do and your own happiness. xxx

 

[TheNotoriousManzana]

Re: your guilt. I wonder if you've come across the Marxist feminist calculations that determine labour in the home is equivalent, or more than, office work? Unpaid. Of course. Because historically, women's bodies were the site of labour. In our (thankfully) progressive age, your own body has become a site of unpaid labour also.
You're running a house; you're cooking, cleaning and raising the kids. That's equivalent labour. What you do ensures that you and your husband have a comfortable life. Were you not to do it, you as a couple would be in chaos or paying someone a fortune to do it for you.
Don't underestimate your value, your worth or your contribution. Your husband simply couldn't manage without you. How would he cope? and even more so, how would he cope if you were in a job which was miserable, which then affected your domestic and child-raising abilities?
I hope he appreciates what you do for him, your children and home. I hope he thanks you and treasures you for it. If not, he needs a reminder.
Your labour is a precious, unsung commodity. Don't short change yourself. Value what you do and your own happiness. xxx

That's a really lovely and kind thing to say and I really appreciate that you did. It's a lot, sometimes - I'm essentially a 'trailing spouse' in a lot of ways. Life's good, mostly, I am really lucky to have travelled so widely but having had the kids my work takes the back seat to his every time - I often find myself on Tattle working very late into the night.
Is a very curious thing in a male/male couple - people never consider who does the boring stuff. The job would have been nice but not needed (my babies will not starve and I won't have to do emergency GFM but just so frustrating when things turn out to not be as they were said originally and the deal is suddenly different.
Thank you again, though. And I hope you are OK too. And things get better.

I'm still in the belief that the socksib is Alice, as are the other accounts associated with socksib. Especially the wife. Who was met at Alice's wedding.

For real? I never knew that. Fascinating.

 

[Lulugrace]

OFF TOPIC
Just catching up, I've had an interesting day, I tripped over on my way back from the shops about 2pm and really hurt my ankle (that I broke a few years ago) and my ribs. Was getting so painful that I went to the hospital, my ankle didn't break again thank duck, but I have got a cracked rib and I go on holiday Saturday morning! I was preying to every known god that my ankle wasn't broken again and it wasn't . It's so swollen thou it makes mAlices neck look thin .
Hope everyone is okay x

 

[JoelFizz]

It really does Piss me off lol I know it is but then it’s like that who’s that Rachel then lol or playing Rachel

If it is the brother, then he's created his wife's account because it tweets in the same style as his account. If they're all Alice, then she's destined for a bleeping loony bin at this rate.

 

[sh1tsandgiggles]

Re: your guilt. I wonder if you've come across the Marxist feminist calculations that determine labour in the home is equivalent, or more than, office work? Unpaid. Of course. Because historically, women's bodies were the site of labour. In our (thankfully) progressive age, your own body has become a site of unpaid labour also.
You're running a house; you're cooking, cleaning and raising the kids. That's equivalent labour. What you do ensures that you and your husband have a comfortable life. Were you not to do it, you as a couple would be in chaos or paying someone a fortune to do it for you.
Don't underestimate your value, your worth or your contribution. Your husband simply couldn't manage without you. How would he cope? and even more so, how would he cope if you were in a job which was miserable, which then affected your domestic and child-raising abilities?
I hope he appreciates what you do for him, your children and home. I hope he thanks you and treasures you for it. If not, he needs a reminder.
Your labour is a precious, unsung commodity. Don't short change yourself. Value what you do and your own happiness. xxx

I bleeping love this I feel this soooooo much. My daughter literally just turned 3. When she was 1 month old we (very fortunately-I’m not complaining) moved to a larger house and I’ve very luckily been off of work with her until now and everyone keeps asking when I’m going back but I honestly don’t know (as a family of 5 with a toddler and a partner in a very high up well paid job who works LOADS of over time and shifts) we would cope if I did.

I hate the EXPECTATION that I should be working. It makes me feel bad but I do SO MUCH at home! We would need a cleaner and childcare and we would probably spend more. Why do people have this expectation? My OH included. He doesn’t realise what I do round the house I swear He’s got a massive shock coming!

Off topic. Sorry I don’t know how to put it behind a spoiler.
I was diagnosed with Breast cancer on Monday. Ffs. Looks like it travelled- stage 2 currently they think. The drs recommended 6 lots of chemo and then a double mastectomy and a bleeping hysterectomy.

I still can’t quite believe it. I’m in my 40’s.

im not even sure what the point of my post is. It’s just horrible telling people in real life. It’s worse than being told yourself. My husband couldn’t stay in the room for my diagnoses he was so distressed.
Alice is just a bleeping hole though. Misappropriating everyone’s lived experiences with such authority when the reality is - she has no idea about anything.

I’m so sorry to read this my darling. I have breast clinic on Monday as I’ve found a lump and so your post really got me. Sending you all the love in the world. Please keep us updated. I’m also 39 so I really feel you. My mum literally got signed off last month after having stage 1 breast cancer and surgery. Cancer is such a fucker.

I’m missing @tropeonarope …. Hope you’re ok

 

[Autisteuse]

@Blurp How did your PIP hearing go? Have been praying for a good outcome for you x

That's a really lovely and kind thing to say and I really appreciate that you did. It's a lot, sometimes - I'm essentially a 'trailing spouse' in a lot of ways. Life's good, mostly, I am really lucky to have travelled so widely but having had the kids my work takes the back seat to his every time - I often find myself on Tattle working very late into the night.
Is a very curious thing in a male/male couple - people never consider who does the boring stuff. The job would have been nice but not needed (my babies will not starve and I won't have to do emergency GFM but just so frustrating when things turn out to not be as they were said originally and the deal is suddenly different.
Thank you again, though. And I hope you are OK too. And things get better.


For real? I never knew that. Fascinating.

You're right - people largely don't consider male/male domestic dynamics. It would be a fascinating social study: perhaps researchers will come up with a report in the next decade... I know a chap in your situation. He has his own business and a few hours to relax after he finishes work, when his husband comes home and he starts his 'second job': being his husband's PA, making sure that the house is immaculate, all chores are done, and the food delicious. He becomes exhausted and frustrated sometimes, because he too is the lower earner, but without his contribution his husband's life would be in sad disarray. It doesn't stop him from feeling like a put-upon "wife" sometimes, though, and he snaps/becomes depressed/needs space.
I wonder - and *please* tell me if this is going too far; I don't want to offend you by making assumptions, ever - whether part of your current malaise is that your personal, emotional and intellectual needs aren't being met? My own mother was in your situation for years and finally broke out, got herself to Oxbridge and forged a career: she found her brain and talents atrophying and once I, a precocious child, could largely fend for myself (difficult when dealing with a covert narcissist and alcoholic father, but hey), she grabbed her precious freedom with both hands. What would help to change your dynamic and help to make the relationship feel more equal? What could your husband do to contribute to the hard hands-on work that is raising children and dealing with domestic issues 24/7? It sounds as though you need time and space for yourself, to nurture and cherish yourself, to use your evident and undoubted intellectual gifts to their fullest.
Again - if there are too many assumptions in this, I am profoundly sorry.

 

[Just William]

@AllDogsGoToHeaven
I can only advise from a personal perspective, thinking back from when I experienced a stillbirth after a diagnosis of severe congenital defect for the baby, and the sense of loss (for your friend it will be like tremendous loss and possibly a feeling of guilt, I know I felt that), whilst on the one hand "expected", will possibly be quite unexpectedly overwhelming when she's on her own and thinking about things like the last movements, the labour itself, when the milk comes in (as it will).
(Apologies if it seems I hijacked with my own experience, it is not what was meant, it was to try and explain what your friend may possibly be thinking or feeling)

Personal care gifts, a voucher for an afternoon for two (you and her) for tea or a spa if you can afford it and when she is up to it (something to aim for and look forward to). The nurses took photographs of my little girl for me, so a special album for those photographs and any condolence correspondence she may receive. Maybe even a some point she might want to think about sometime planting a tree in memory?
Does she like tea? Specialty tea gift perhaps, something just for her that she maybe couldn't have, eat or drink whilst pregnant.

A routine of regular contact if possible to help prevent isolation - some mum's end up becoming isolated because people become scared to talk to them.

Most important of all, a listening ear, your time and a hug.

You are a good friend.

I'm so sorry you experienced a still birth & while I don't have children I can still imagine the heartbreak.
I also wanted to say bless your kind brave heart for sharing such a beautifully supportive post. xxx

Spoiler: Chronic Turds

It feels so nice to be in the company of fellow chronic pain turds. I am waiting on a CFS diagnosis after being struck down with Covid back in 2020 and honestly it gets me down. I went from conquering my mental health, to having PND after my daughter's birth which I once again conquered in time, and once I was back to being stable and confident I got Covid and I haven't been the same since.

There are days where I want to give up. I'm so tired down to my bones, I try my best to be a good mother and a good wife, I want to be able to see my friends and get back to work now my daughter is starting school. I've been working as a self employed artist since before she was born and as much as I love it, money is tight. I want to have a job but my health won't allow it, so I continue to craft and sell regardless of the exhaustion. It's not much but it's still keeping busy and earning money. But there are days where I want out.

Then I see people like Alice. The spoilt madam that she is, and what she is doing to her children and to Ioan. And I check in with you lovely lot and see those insights into your lives and I think, you know what? We're okay. We're doing okay. One day at a time. I may be exhausted. I may be struggling. But at least I'm not Alice Jane Evans.

I'm so sorry you're waiting on a diagnosis of CFS following Covid. I have a friend with it so I know what a bastard it can be.
But you know what, you're already pretty damn amazing, you conquered your MH then PND & despite feeling like as you do you're still working, still earning, still using your talents being creative & that takes effort - you're one strong woman!
Get as much help as you can (professional & personal) & don't be afraid to ask for it!!!
Take it one day at a time, hopefully it will become more manageable as you learn more about your own personal limits, etc.
And keep on crafting! I wish you all the best & we're here when you need us. xxx

I think you're in the UK so I hope these links might help?

The ME Association - The ME Association

The ME Association provides support, research, advice and a helpline for the community of people affected by ME/CFS

meassociation.org.uk

Local Support Groups - The ME Association

The ME Association listing of independent support groups who aim to provide support in your geographic area.

meassociation.org.uk

ETA - but too late to

Spoiler: For The Turds

Sending love and strength to @Sh1ts&giggles and @claudiarocks. Also big hugs to @justWilliam, @Lulugrace, @ReturningthePearls, @LeftoverCoffee and anyone else I've missed out who needs them. There's always someone around to listen.

Spoiler: Merail

I'm a wee bit nervous as I have my legal tribunal appeal for Personal Independence Payment (PIP) (Disability for non-UKers) by telephone tomorrow afternoon. Just me and three panel members. My appeal has been written for me by Citizens Advice, and my medical records and a letter from a support worker have gone in. It's what is known as a "gateway benefit" as it opens up other help and grants. The Scottish Government now administers the Adult Disability Payment which replaces PIP in Scotland but as it has been lurching on for around two years, I have to complete the UK system of appeals before being transferred to the ADP if I win. At least the tribunal is through the Scottish Court system.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me and send any spare good vibes. Thanks

How did you get on with your appeal for PIP? I'm really hoping you won then hopefully you'll win the UK appeals too as I know how difficult getting PIP can be from a friend on it. xxx

Spoiler: Long covid crap

I'm with you. I feel everything you have written. We have to keep on putting one foot infront of the other. Well done for continuing to make and sell crafts, I know it isn't easy to muster up the energy sometimes. I've never been the same since covid in 2020 either and was diagnosed with Long Covid (I'm so fed up of the name I want to call it something else!) It is hard and I'd say there are definite improvements after a lot of tests and trial and error with treatment, but it is so unpredictable too. When I plan things I never know if I'll be well enough to actually go ahead with those plans. I gave up my career as I couldn't keep up with it. That's been a big blow to my mental health; it's felt bewildering and like my rudder has come off but I am retraining for some less demanding work I can do at home and where I can take on what I'm capable of and say no where necessary.

I do have moments of resentment about it all because I feel its robbed me of feeling my best when I've got a young child but it is what it is. I try not to dwell because it doesn't change anything. It's about finding a path forward however wonky that path may be for a while! I am grateful for what I have because it could be so much worse.

Wishing you the best with your diagnosis and ongoing recovery. We've got this. ✊️

I'm so sorry you're still struggling with FUC (duck you Covid) & whilst I'm glad you're improving it sucks it's not consistent. To give up your career is so hard, but huge kudos to you for retraining for a different job WFH which would give you some of your personal power back!
BIB - you have an amazing attitude & I wish you all the best & hope you continue to improve. xxx

May I ask how people blur their comments? I checked the formatting page on Tattle but I can’t seem to find it! I see every option but that one! I’d appreciate the help, I like the blurry text.

For the blurry text click on 'incline spoiler' which is just below & put your post between the brackets.

 

[claudiarocks]

Spoiler: fibro query

@Autisteuse or anyone else ... im really suffering with my feet I feel like im walking on glass and the soles have like swollen but you can't notice it ? im really bad with my arms and legs going numb in the night it makes me cry takes like an hour to get feeling.... I've ordered a totum from a well known healer who other fibromyalgia sufferers swear by as you know I love food/herbs/plants as medicine ... I just hate taking Pharma meds xx all points of view received with love xx

 

[ReturningthePearls]

For the blurry text click on 'incline spoiler' which is just below & put your post between the brackets.

You're my favorite. Thank you so much.