I saw they raised their rude little head the other day towards you again. Just pathetic.
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I have my own little FM!
I’ve got one too!
Got them on ignore and they are spitting! 
My question of the day is: has anyone mastered the smoky eye look without looking like they’ve gone 6 rounds with Tyson Fury?
I haven’t
@Ena Sharples and @clarkees
I'm sorry to hear you are both not feeling well. I hope you recover quickly.
I'm trying not to argue on the MT anymore but I can't promise to stick to that! It seems like society in general has lost the ability to just accept we don't all share the same opinions and instead think that if they just keep on banging you over the head with their opinion you will change your mind, see the light and see that they're right. But then maybe we never had that ability in the first place.
I'm sorry to hear you are both not feeling well. I hope you recover quickly.
I'm trying not to argue on the MT anymore but I can't promise to stick to that! It seems like society in general has lost the ability to just accept we don't all share the same opinions and instead think that if they just keep on banging you over the head with their opinion you will change your mind, see the light and see that they're right. But then maybe we never had that ability in the first place.
Ooh what did I miss? And Ena has an FM too?
I had a look through the last few pages but I got no clues about potential FMs!!@Ena Sharples and @clarkees
I'm sorry to hear you are both not feeling well. I hope you recover quickly.
I'm trying not to argue on the MT anymore but I can't promise to stick to that! It seems like society in general has lost the ability to just accept we don't all share the same opinions and instead think that if they just keep on banging you over the head with their opinion you will change your mind, see the light and see that they're right. But then maybe we never had that ability in the first place.
Ooh what did I miss? And Ena has an FM too?
Working on a project 
Hi @Penguin86. How easy is it to loom knit? I've got arthritis in both thumbs and a few fingers so worried it might make the pain worse but would love to give it a try.
I hope the move all goes smoothly for you. See you on the other side
Sorry to hear you're ill. I hope your symptoms remain mild
Its basically twisting the yarn around the pegs and using a hook to knit it. Good thing about the loom is you can take breaks without losing your place. I would start with a simple baby hat
I'd really like some help and advice, please.
Because my health has been so bad, I have been living with my mother and my childhood abuser. I was interfered with, subject to intense emotional trauma, vicious beatings, and his alcoholism - not to mention his constant dramas with everything. My physical health went to pot when I was in my twenties, and made my mental health worse. Living around my childhood abuser - I won't call him Father - is hell. I'm triggered all the time, every day.
He doesn't know that I'm autistic - not only that he isn't interested in anything to do with me unless he can use it in his dramas, but because I don't want him to use it against me.
I'm in hell all the time. He controls the purse strings and, because I had a nervous breakdown five years ago and ruined my credit rating, I can't afford to move out. He was frequently violent to my mother in the past. I snapped today because he called her 'pathetic' because she couldn't descend the stairs while carrying a pile of plates, as she once fell down the stairs and broke her cervical spine.
I'm just waiting for the onslaught, as I dared to challenge him.
Today I did the worse and mixed my opiates with a glass of wine, as I was so triggered and miserable. I hate myself for that.
I don't know what to do. I have no-one to whom I can go. I'm isolated and can't leave my mother. I'm so terribly unhappy.
Because my health has been so bad, I have been living with my mother and my childhood abuser. I was interfered with, subject to intense emotional trauma, vicious beatings, and his alcoholism - not to mention his constant dramas with everything. My physical health went to pot when I was in my twenties, and made my mental health worse. Living around my childhood abuser - I won't call him Father - is hell. I'm triggered all the time, every day.
He doesn't know that I'm autistic - not only that he isn't interested in anything to do with me unless he can use it in his dramas, but because I don't want him to use it against me.
I'm in hell all the time. He controls the purse strings and, because I had a nervous breakdown five years ago and ruined my credit rating, I can't afford to move out. He was frequently violent to my mother in the past. I snapped today because he called her 'pathetic' because she couldn't descend the stairs while carrying a pile of plates, as she once fell down the stairs and broke her cervical spine.
I'm just waiting for the onslaught, as I dared to challenge him.
Today I did the worse and mixed my opiates with a glass of wine, as I was so triggered and miserable. I hate myself for that.
I don't know what to do. I have no-one to whom I can go. I'm isolated and can't leave my mother. I'm so terribly unhappy.
I have just joined a call - I will respond soon
Are you in the US or the UK? Would your mother support you if you went to the police? Because he belongs in prison. It might be worth contacting women's aid organisations for proper support. All I can do is send appropriately sized hugs, but only if you like them <3 I'm so sorry you're in this hellish situation.
I just want to give you a big hug. I can't begin to imagine the stress you are dealing with everyday.
Sometimes when we are in that constant fight or flight mode we can't see the wood for the trees. We are just constantly fighting to survive and it can be exhausting living with all that adrenaline pumping around every day.
It can feel really overwhelming to even begin to think about where we want to be from the starting point we are at. When I get that overwhelm and can't go to where I want to be, I break it down into tiny steps. They can seem pretty insignificant when you take them but they all add up and before you know it you are getting somewhere. What is the tiniest step you can take today or tomorrow?
So say for instance if I want to run a marathon. I'm overweight, unfit, I've only ever run to catch a bus etc. What's the tiniest step I can do today? I'm going to go outside and take a leisurely walk for 10 minutes. Everyday I am going to ask myself that same question until I get where I want to be. Everyday I am going to do something that takes me towards where I want to be.
What is the tiniest step you can take? Go see your GP for a chat? Phone a helpline? Join a forum? Read an inspirational story online.
Just do something really tiny to create some movement and that's when life starts to change.
You took a step today and you reached out for help and advice.
Take another tiny step tomorrow.
She would, but I have been to the police before - when he SA'd me - and even then, it was only a caution. The law is still so awful at protecting women in the UK
I'm crying while I read your post. It's so wise, and such good advice. I think I'll speak to my university supervisors and tell them the situation so a bit of pressure is alleviated - I've been agonising over how to get started with my next paper while everything is in such chaos. Bless you. Love to you.
This is a really serious situation and it sounds like you need to be out of there ASAP. Is there anyone you can call, even a distant relative that you haven't seen in years? Any friends, no matter how long ago you last saw them? For a space to stay on a temporary basis? A couch to sleep on?
If he physically attacks you, please seriously consider calling the police. If nothing else to have a record of this behaviour.
Thinking longer term, in the UK there are a lot of free counselling services that your GP can refer you to.
Regarding the moving out, I was in the same situation with credit score. I had a CCJ that essentially prevented most landlords renting to me. It was very stressful. I had a major spiral in the year before I was finally diagnosed with ADHD, and racked up £3k of credit card debt, then found myself technically homeless and didn't receive any letters about it (not that I was in the frame of mind to deal with it anyway). I am convinced these CCJs should be criminal. Even paying the debt off you're still left with a ruined credit score for 6 years.
Anyway, there are landlords who are happy with an employment reference only. I'm not sure whereabouts you are, but even in London you can rent a room in a shared (decent) house for £500/month. It takes longer to find those landlords but they do exist. My current landlords asked for previous landlord references and an employment reference. They are wonderful. You would need a 5 week deposit (they can't legally charge you any more than that now).
Please also consider getting checked out at hospital if you've mixed pills and wine. Better to be safe than sorry.
ETA - just seen your mention of university. Please go to them! There will be so many resources there to help you. They might even be able to sort out temporary free housing until you find a more permanent option. Ask, ask, ask! Tell them how serious it is. Tell them the police did nothing last time and that you're in danger. They have people trained to help in situations like this and so many resources.
PPS: If this was 5 years ago, then here is a tiny silver lining: these things stay on your record for 6 years. Then they are removed. So a year from now (or thereabouts) you will be able to apply for loans, overdrafts, pass credit checks on housing, etc. They will all help you immensely.
ETA link: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/ta...rapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/
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UCAS has information on support and your Uni should also have wellbeing and MH support too.
You are not alone lovely. This is not forever and there is good stuff on the other side of this for you. x
@Autisteuse - everything caitlyn & ena have said. Just one small step today (which you have done online here) maybe talk to university tomorrow, you will be able to see woods for trees. Please no more alcohol? And can you just check in even if its just a wave or a full stop? Xxx
@Autisteuse please please please speak to your university when you are ready to. I would say all have available mental health support and domestic support for housing and to help you work through your financing options to get you some money - they’re usually referred to as Student Support Team. Alongside this, here’s some resources I’ve found too, no pressure but for when you are ready and comfortable with speaking to them:
www.whatuni.com
www.youngminds.org.uk
In terms of your housing situation, Refuge are there to help:
www.refuge.org.uk
I hope some of this is helpful but I’m also sending you some love through this, you’re strong
Student Minds
Student Minds is the UK's student mental health charity. Peer interventions can change the state of student mental health. We deliver research-driven training and support to equip students to bring about positive change on their campus.
www.studentminds.org.uk
How universities offer student mental health support
All university students should be aware of what student mental health support is available. Whatuni and Student Minds cover how to do just that.
YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People
YoungMinds are a mental health charity for children, young people and their parents, making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.
In terms of your housing situation, Refuge are there to help:
Refuge, the largest UK domestic abuse organisation for women
Empowering women to live without violence & fear. Refuge is the largest domestic abuse organisation in the UK. Supporting thousands of women & their children overcome the physical, emotional, financial impacts of abuse.
www.refuge.org.uk
I hope some of this is helpful but I’m also sending you some love through this, you’re strong
I see you've already received some great advice and there's nothing that I can add to that but I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry that you are having to live in such a horrible way. I truly hope that you can find some way to move out soon and start the rest of your life.
@Autisteuse there’s nothing I can add to the advice you’ve been given. Sending delicate and metaphorical hugs, I hope you find some way out of there.
@Autisteuse it's been couple hours since you posted I'm going to guess you in bad place right now but trust me - it CAN get better🫂. If you don't want to talk or can't believe you've snapped & are overwhelmed that's ok too just know that we are all here for you. Everyone is fine. Until they aren't, and it's often the tiniest straw that breaks the camels back. No one here will judge you for that. But please be brave enough just to send a wave? One step at a time 
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