@KindnessMatters That doesn't really go very far with me for my 2p worth.
I don't think it explains or excuses your running to tell tales on Twitter, sharing screenshots of what's been posted here, or your hyperbolic vomiting after reading some of the posts... but not enough of them apparently
I still don't find it much explanation of your joining in with the bullying and harassment done by #TeamAlice and calling BW a "bogan" counts as bullying for me.
FWIW I actually have an issue with that from a Feminist standpoint anyway. I do occasionally use the words bitch and cunt in general still but I'm trying to scale back, and I try really hard not to use them about other women because I know women don't need any help being marginalised and trodden down any further.
So I find this whole "she stole my husband" narrative to be thoroughly misogynist through and through. It always colours my view of people a little when they subscribe to this sort of shitty lazy women competing against other women thinking. Harassing a woman for being a "bogan" is similarly crappy behaviour. You are saying she's cheap trash. You are calling another woman trash!
You came here outspoken in your views about how IG had "Ghosted" AE etc - which now you say is because you haven't heard the term Grey Rock till now.... but you say you've studied Psychology? So I would assume you would have some idea about the technique or at least heard of it.
I'd also assume because of your studies that you would be a little better equipped to be able to spot bullies (online for eg - distanced and removed as you are from online people personally, it does make it more easy to be objective about their actions), rather than to jump on the bandwagon and join in as you did.
To be completely frank since you've mentioned it a few times now, I would have made a lot of incorrect assumptions based on your purported studies... but then you know what they say about assumptions
I don't enjoy the (what seems to me) obfuscation of facts that you have given earlier in the thread and here, sandwiched between lots of (to me) word salad and emotive subjects. Again it all comes across as manipulative to me.
Good, nice and decent people don't need to manipulate or lie or minimise to other good, nice and decent people. I believe the people on this thread to be some of the best, nicest and most decent people I've "met"online.
If I had to come up with some sort of imaginary person parallel I'd say you are like the girl that wants "in" with the mean girls at high school. Says' mean things, get's in with the crowd. Get's chucked for stepping out of line and comes shamefaced to the people she bullied... Lie down with dogs and all that.
I still don't trust you and what you had to say didn't clear very much up for me or go any way towards building any trust. I don't think I will ever trust you now.
I've got a lot of thoughts about all this and I'm not really articulating them at all well so I'll leave others to make their decisions and not interfere further but I won't interact with you in future if you do stick about because you just make me cross.
You're right. The bogan comment was disgusting, uncalled for and I should never have said it. I won't defend it in any way or make up excuses for it because you're correct, it's a completely awful and anti-feminist thing to say and I'm deeply sorry I said it. I don't think Bianca 'stole' Ioan, he's his own man and no matter the timeline he made a conscious decision to be with her and she chose to be with him. I don't approve of cheating, though I do understand why some people who are in abusive relationships cheat before leaving. I don't think anyone should stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship and am glad when they are able to get out. I'm not one of those people that think you have to stay in an unhappy marriage, I don't think they have to wait until the divorce papers come through to be able to move on and be with someone else.
I studied psychology at Uni for a year back in 2001. It was first year psychology and narcissism, histrionic disorder, grey rock where never things taught in it. I assume if I'd studied it for long they would have been topics covered but they were never mentioned in my year of studying it. We did half a year of studying basic psychology and the other half studying the statistics element of scientifically studying human behaviour. So grey rock was never a term I'd even heard before I got here and I had to google it to look up what it meant.
I understand why you're cross with me, I understand why any of you feel that way, or betrayed or harmed in anyway. All I can do is apologise, I admit I've made mistakes, ones I really regret, and I didn't come here with the plan to hurt anyone, but I obviously have, and for all of that I'm sorry.
@ kindness.
People have shared very personal things on here, and it’s making my skin crawl thinking someone has been here taking it all in, then reporting back. I hope I’m wrong, and I hope this isn’t the case at all. I feel like I don’t even want to post on here anymore now.
I sincerely hope you’re being genuine with your apologies, I can see why people are pissed off and upset. I’ve seen some of the convos you’ve been involved in and the stuff you liked on Twitter…. Mind blown
Its not the type of stuff a person advocating for kindness would like, let me put it that way. Like Caitlyn said, I don’t want it to turn into a pile on, but seriously wtf???
I can only agree with you. And if I were in your shoes I'd feel the same way. I know I've given people a lot of reasons to distrust me, and I don't blame you if you do. But I am completely sincere with all of my apologies. Everyone here - including the FM's if they come here, which for everyone's sake I pray they don't, can now see not only what I've said, they can see my real name, my twitter username, my real photo. If anyone at all - here or the FMs want to troll me they can now do it because they know who I am and what I now think.
I wish I could do more than apologise again to let you, and everyone, know how bad I feel about the whole situation. I did come here (to the MT) as someone who thought AE was innocent and had been wronged, but I don't believe anything she says anymore, and even if I did I would never come to this thread because it's a personal thread for people who don't like her and are discussing their lives. If I still liked anything about AE I would stick solely to the MT because this has nothing to do with her. But as I said, I don't like her, I've come to know you all a bit through what you shared in the MT and I thought you were all really nice people that I'd like to know. That's the only reason I came to this thread. I would never dream of screen capping anything said here and because when I started reading what had been posted in this thread, I read it as what I hoped would be your equal, a friend, I have never and will never repeat anything that's been said here. I don't repeat what's said on the MT, as I said I've got no one to say it to anyway, I'm blocked by AE and her supporters, and I wouldn't tell them anything if they did like me. I know this is a very public forum, but the comments made here are very private and I would never even consider sharing them with anyone.
You're right, things I've said and done haven't been kind, and I'm more disappointed in the fact that I said and did them than anyone. That's one of the reasons I created the username Kindness Matters because I wanted to remind myself, when I logged on every day, that my behaviour matters, that I want to be a kind person, someone that can be respected, and I used that name to try and remind myself to be kind when I speak. I wish I'd thought of that earlier and not said and done the things I have.
I'm very sorry I've made you feel this way, I never intended to, but I do take responsibility for my actions and my mistakes and I don't plan on making any of them again.
I think anyone involved with AE even in this manner, gets hurt by her. You’re either #team Alice or you’re out.
I’ve never seen anyone quite like her, it keeps me fascinated as I said sometimes in a macabre way.
I hope you understand what position I’m coming from, it was really hurtful to see someone go at people I’ve grown to care about. Although we are essentially strangers, I feel an affinity with them and that particular person on Twitter is awful, no doubt seeing this conversation will have her rubbing her hands with glee. I turn her ramblings into humour, I think that’s where my flappy mimsy and 102 children come into it.
I feel the same way about everything you've said. When I first believed Alice I thought I'd try and be diplomatic and get her and Tamika to stop attacking each other and hopefully build a bridge between the two camps where they could still disagree but not be so personal and vicious in their attacks on one another. The very first time I said anything to AE about it, and I think I said it politely, she just blocked me straight away. I should have gotten it then, I was flat out confused why she would block someone who was being polite, even if they were asking her to stop. Then not much later her FM's ripped me apart and I thought "Wow, this is what these people are like" but stupidly, I still believed that Alice had been dumped with no warning, I'd never seen her lie about anything before and assumed it was still the truth, so I didn't like her behaviour or the way she bullied people, and I said that openly, but I still assumed she was telling the truth about the marriage and how it was ending and felt sorry for her about that.
I think it's pretty obvious that I've never seen anyone like her before either! I mean I honestly thought I was a pretty good judge of character, but she had me completely fooled. And I don't know in all honesty whether anyone will want to talk to me again, or trust me, and I understand that. Of course I selfishly would love for people to realise that I'm sorry for everything and that I respect them a lot. People here have been kinder to me (and each other) than I've seen anywhere in a long time. I don't think I ever said anything rude or insulting to anyone here since I joined, and I completely apologise if I have, but though it took me longer than it should have to realise the truth about AE, it didn't take me long to realise that the people here weren't the villains they were made out to be. Even at the beginning when I thought AE was telling the truth (HA!) I disagreed with what some people were saying here. I thought their view of her was wrong, but I still thought they were nice people. I wouldn't have stayed if I didn't, and I wouldn't be here right now trying to make amends and apologise.
I don't know if it's a foolish hope, but I do hope none of the FMs know about these threads. Not because of me, I don't care what they say or do to me, but you've all proven time and again that you don't deserve the abuse or to be made fun of. And I can only hope that if they do find out it's me they attack and no one else. I'm one of 7 children, not quite as many of you've had, but I love your mimsy jokes, and I think you're going to need a bigger shoe to live in! Truthfully the only thing wrong with this place is the amount of times I've ended up having shart songs stuck in my head! I watched Law & Order: SVU last night and when they called a lawyer a shark I honestly thought for a moment they'd said shart!