Heres how the night will go......Control freak Tash will lay out everyones clothes on the bed, she will herself be wearing something to show off her massive camel toe paired with a cheap Primark top (For Tanyas benefit
) The obligatory bedroom mirror photo with little madam and her spoilt smirky face will appear. She will no doubt have a babyish dress on as per usual. James won't be on the photo but he might have one with donkey kong dad on the garden. But categorically not his mum. Ok.
Drinks and snacks will be enjoyed by all....On a tray in the living room. This family dont believe in saving themselves for a nice meal remember.
The car selfie will be uploaded next and it will be unflattering as usual with 10 snapchat filters and 4 instagram filters. She will make donkey kong look ridiculous as she always seems to use a filter where he has snapchat earrings on. And Tashas guacamoley mole will be in the pic too. And her 9 chins. They will arrive at said restaurant and it will be somewhere Tanya has already been so Tanya will come on (even though shes supposedly blind atm
) and comment 'sooo spoooky as her and del boy went there' and Tash will comment back something passive aggressive. Tash will take photos of the toilet, the bar stool, the pepper grinder, the fire exit, the ketchup sachets, the kitchen, the beer pump and the table number before she allows anyone to order. She will order a candy gloss prosecco (borrinngggg now) and they will all do a cheers boomerang. The food will come and Tash will arrange neatly to take a photo of everyone's meal except James cos hes hard as
duck and puts his foot down. Ive always noticed on the meals out theres only every 3 pics of meals. Good on him for not standing for it. Then some drunk pics close up of the guacamoley again and hubs and little madam will be uploaded saying what a great time they have had and tagging the place and the waiter and the barman in hopes for a free meal next time. Oh dont forget she would of obvs told them its their 17th wedding anniversary (like you do when its for yourself
Not) so they will bring out a pudding and a sparkler and happy anniversary will be written in some kind of sauce. Donkey kong is in the shitter at this point cos hes embarresed so hes liking a few more young girls pics on the grid. Then they will arrive home anf tge obligatory feet up on sofa pic will appear with sweets and popcorn and they will be watching a film. Hubs choice of course. And space themed cos he likes all of them. Much more than his brother Del. Last pic before bed. Of the bed. For a change.
she is such a 