Tanya Burr #12 Fake smiling like a dumbass freak, bathtub, hairy arm. Rinse. Repeat.

[Pundertaker]

System of a Tarn

Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Time to get on Insta for a fake-up
Why'd you leave the career on the table?
Here you go, "author" another fable


(Not a thread suggestion, I've just had gin)

 

[bbk2me]

Tanya Burr: ‘I used to worry about it, but now I can’t wait to get older’

The influencer, actor and UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador shares her beauty and wellness secrets

www.telegraph.co.uk

She's so full of shit, it's scary. On that Outspoken Beauty podcast from five days ago the host asked her this very question, if she uses fragrances to get into roles as she's heard of actresses doing that 36:24. The answer was clearly no. She just talked about creating a playlist for a role once and then said she wore a fragrance to set in 2019 (Twist), but you could tell it wasn't deliberate for the purpose of getting into character, it literally couldn't have been when it was just a bit part and she only had three words to utter.

How embarrassing to steal that idea to try and make herself sound more interesting and "actress-y." A million times, fuck off.

 

[nottouraverageuser]

Erm what???

 

[Nottsgirl]

OUR STORY

AUTHORED IS A FORWARD-THINKING BEAUTY BRAND THAT HOPES TO ENCOURAGE US ALL TO LIVE LIFE AS WE WANT TO, NOT IN A WAY THAT’S PRESCRIBED TO US.
THOUGHTFULLY CREATED FOR DAILY LIFE, WE BRING YOU A SET OF GO-TO PRODUCTS DESIGNED FOR AN “I’VE GOT THIS” FEELING AT THE START OF YOUR DAY AND A LOOK THAT’S TRULY YOUR OWN.
AND TOGETHER WE’LL MEET SOME INSPIRING PEOPLE ON THEIR WORK-IN-PROGRESS JOURNEYS - WE’LL SEE THAT FOR SURE, TO PUT-YOURSELF-OUT-THERE IS NOT AN EASY THING TO DO. BUT WE WANT TO EMPOWER YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR OWN FLOW, FEEL LIBERATED AND TAKE WHATEVER STEPS YOU NEED TO GET YOU CLOSER TO WHAT YOU’RE REALLY ALL ABOUT.

WE’RE A GROUP OF FRIENDS WHO’VE SPENT TWO YEARS TO GET TO THIS MOMENT OF BRINGING YOU AUTHORED. WE’RE SUPER-PROUD TO SHARE OUR BRAND AND PRODUCTS AND HOPEFULLY TO HELP ALL OF YOU SIMPLY BE YOURSELVES AS YOU WRITE YOUR STORY. AND WE’D LOVE YOU TO BE A PART OF OURS.

TANYA WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT US

 

[poshbird]

To the person that said something like "I don't get why her family and friends haven't just given her told cold hard truth" (I can't quote as it's in the old thread!)

I just wanna say, I've always thought that this is exactly what Jim did, and that's why they ended.

"I think it's time to admit defeat, and please stop wasting our money on it as it's clearly not going to happen. Objectively speaking, you're just not good enough. Why not move on to something you're actually good at?" - Jim, probably

"What are you talking about? I'm really good at acting. I just haven't got my lucky break yet. So I'm going to keep going at it, even if it means selling my body a bit more, and if you don't want to support/join me then I guess we should just end it" - Tanya, probably

 

[Crying]

it clearly said it would be launching with 'four gender-neutral products - tinted moisturiser, lipbalm, brow gel and mascara'.

gender-neutral lip balm she CANNNOTTTT be serious what decade does she think we're in it's pretty obvious skincare and make-up isn't strictly female anymore jesus christ that obviously just means the products will have bland looking packaging. it sounds like they're hoping to rival Glossier but with unisex skincare, make-up and lifestyle products all in various shades of beige and hoping to build the same cult-ish following with all of this vague ~let's go on a journey together~ or whatever social media posts but realistically will be bored of it quicker than with her own make-up line.

 

[QueenBW]

She's so full of shit:

What do you do for your physical health?

“I haven’t had an exercise routine since pre-pandemic. In fact, one of the notes on my phone is a reminder to resume my morning HIIT sessions, but I’m not too hard on myself. We've been through one of the worst global disruptions, we need to be easy on ourselves.”


Uh, but, Tarny, before the pandemic you said you barely ever exercised, that once a couple of weeks you did some Barry's. That that was it. That HAPPINESS had made you thin. Now you tell us you had a morning HIIT sessions routine? Which is it, cause it surely can't be both.

ETA: MORE delusion. Someone get this woman some help stat, she's totally lost the plot:

I’m so low maintenance when it comes to my hair - I like it to like a natural lived in look. But since going blonde, my hairdresser Samantha Cusick, insists that I take care of it in between salon visits and introduced me to Olaplex, which keeps my hair glossy and prevents it from breaking and looking fried. I love it.

Is she drunk, blind, or high? Those are the only three options. Not even some fish and chips are more fried than her hair.

 

[TeaNToast]

has anyone from the thread tried her new products? or planning to

Nope. Rather set fire to a £20 note than buy her shite.

 

[leiadeler]

Her instagram engagement is crap. Her current live including her own personal account which boasts 3 million instagram followers and the authored instagram account only has 156 viewers (just checked now). Imagine having 3 million followers and less than 200 people tune in. It’s her own fault for alienating her audience because she was stupid enough to think she would make it as a Hollywood actress.

 

[QueenBW]

Ok, so alfie got his order, and im assuming he paid. Probably no one is getting it gifted for free to review like other influencers who create brands and send out pr packages, Tanya must be really low on money in that case. Lets see what alfies got to say

He ordered himself a tinted moisturizer and got a mascara for Zoe, he says. So he couldn't even splurge to get all 4 products, that's how much faith he has in his"friend's" range.

I don't expect either him or Zoe to say anything substantial.

 

[8Kleopatra8]

What a joke! The only thing her team is working on is deleting all the comments and not an actual product since Tanya is so over worked and overwhelmed she has to delete the app on a daily

 

[QueenBW]

Zoe hasn't even reposted the stories of Tanya's visit. She's such a mean girl and Tanya, no matter her size, is still the sidekick friend trying to ingratiate herself to the mean Queen Bee. It's hilarious but so sad.

 

[OrangeDuvet]

She must have read on here how we mentioned the filters and what not

Lol, she couldn't be further away from the camera could she? Luckily a fan took this pic in the daylight. Her face looks as dry as Sahara

 

[dodo789]

I was watching the walk ins at Dior’s show. Here are all the paps calling for Romy. I saw this sad face in the background..

I’ve just found this influencer, she’s so funny and had a similar moment with Romee at this event, and she posted it and got a ton of engagement and a reply from Romee as well…imagine if Tanya had sense of humour

 

[kalechips]

3 years and they didn’t proofread their one-sentence mascara instruction.

View attachment 766943

Good god...Aside from all the spelling errors, and maybe I'm being nitpicky about the layout here but it looks so dumb to have "ingredients" right under the "what's in it tab". The word 'ingredients' should really only be visible when you open the tab because the layout makes it look like they're taking the piss out of potential customers. "What's in it? INGREDIENTS" is how it comes across to me?

 

[Pundertaker]

So, so tempted to start a spoof account where I drop clues* to Martha's whereabouts by writing them on my hands.

*fictional clues

 

[bbk2me]

I really have no words. It's truly so simple and straightforward that when launching a beauty brand, all people want/need is aesthetic products that work well and have good formulations + pretty photos and cool videos showing the results in action. None of this obscure flowery bullshit layered on top trying to be deep for no reason and with no endpoint in sight. When you have to edit the bio to indicate it's a beauty brand because people don't get it because you're so bad at marketing that it's unclear.

I can't believe how bad this is. For someone who's worked directly in the damn beauty industry for ten years and has previously launched a semi-successful cosmetics line at one time (TBC dwindled but it at least sold fine in the beginning), it's especially embarrassing and unbelievable.

 

[QueenBW]

Zoe Stan?? Are you five? I have no interest in Zoe or what she does and you know what….I don’t care!! I just don’t understand why people are so pressed that Zoe hasn’t posted an Instagram story about Tanya.

I just adore the "I don't care" argument from people on gossip forums engaging actively on a topic. If you don't care why are you commenting?

Oh, and I'm 2, thanks for asking. A very advanced 2, of course.

We're commenting on something that's pretty glaring. In influencer circles, it's an unspoken agreement that if someone tags you, you repost the story/tag them back/mention them. Zoe failed to do that. At a time when Tanya clearly needs it. It's something worth commenting on a GOSSIP forum.

 

[kalechips]

If tanya actually continued making youtube videos she might have had a good launch. She had a decent amount of views. I just generally thing shes stupid and bigger than what she is. Youtube is the platform that gave her the life she has. Without youtube she would be nothing and nobody. She has 0 talent in all fields and would be working as a receptionist right now

I feel like she could have had a kind of career resurgence via youtube if she was willing to be more vulnerable and transparent with her audience. She could have made so much content/vlogs about life after divorce/getting married young, mental health and ~finding yourself~, the reality of auditions and stuff like that. She really shot herself in the foot thinking she was too good for youtube.

 

[MillyMollyMandy1]

Because they’re supposed to be friends . Friends support each other . If I was in zoe position and my friend has just started a business , which was clearly doing terrible and no publicity, and I knew if I posted a story , which would take me 10 seconds to do and it could generate some interest for my friends failing business venture , I’d do it. That’s what you do, your support your friends.