I've never had the best relationship with my dad, nothing in particular happened, just he favoured my sister more than me. My parents split when I was about 5 and when my sister was a teenager she moved in with him which is what I've always put it down to as I'm much more of a "mums girl". He's always been quite distant with me but always keeps in touch with my sister, he says he will try then keeps it up for a few weeks then it goes back to before, like non existant. My sister tried for a while to see if he wanted to come visit me when my son was born (his first grandson) and he always came up with excuses. Events on his side of the family, he'd always say he's going then again come up with excuses. He didn't wish my son (his first grandson) a happy birthday, it really got to me but whatever. He always wished my nieces happy birthdays and merry Christmases, again whatever, I realised I don't need someone like that in my life. He then started messaging me consistently at Christmas time last year, I kept him at arms length, never told him about my second pregnancy as he never bothered or kept in touch before. Sure again a few months later, my sons 2nd birthday I was hopeful for a happy birthday but no, it never came yet my nieces got as their birthdays are just before my sons. This time I was done, never let him know when my daughter was born, what we were upto or anything. He then randomly text me saying he's got a new girlfriend, I read and ignored. He then started bitching to my mum and sister about me never being in contact, never sending him pictures of my children etc. My mum took my side and told him he's a father and to step up to see if there's any chance the relationship could be built. He didn't.
I thought I'd be the bigger person and tell him exactly how I've been feeling, how I'm always treated different, he never works on building out relationship up, how hes never met my son or made any effort with him in the beginning, how he's never wished my son a happy birthday or merry Christmas yet can do so for my sister, how I was pretty much done with it as its just draining, I'm focusing on things and people important to me now and that's that. I'm an adult, I have 2 kids, I dont need this toxic BS.
He recently got in touch saying his mum is unwell, he had been messaging me every few days saying how she was, so I started messaging back purely just to ask how she is etc and we done this every few days back and forth. Now it seems that's fizzled out, he's not messaged me in a while now, I always need to text first to ask. I just feel like what's the point? I've been doing this for most of my life, having a completely half arsed relationship from when I was a child to a pretty much non existant relationship in adulthood. I've tried so many times just to forget about it as it just makes me feel so bleeping tit but I feel like such an awful person. Ugh
