Support for anyone that needs to vent

nbt · Sep 3, 2021

I feel like I’m changing as a person. I don’t know if it’s just a phase of feeling crap or what.

On the outside I don’t get stressed, I’m a serial planner, I have my tit together constantly, I’m a glass half full type person, forever the optimist.

I can feel all of that changing. I’ve not felt happy for a while. I can have fun, laugh, talk to friends like nothing is wrong. But inside I’m on the verge of tears, I feel overwhelmed. It’s a horrible experience and feels really alien to me.

miamae · Sep 3, 2021

I found out today, at my first pregnancy scan, that it’s twins but they are a rare form of twins (1%) and the likelihood of them surviving is bleak and they could have a range of health issues if their shared placenta doesn’t kill them first (very likely) so we are having to terminate a planned and wanted pregnancy. I am devastated and just need a break. I was in a car crash that was very nearly fatal 10 weeks ago, our cat has gone missing a few weeks ago and now this

I honestly need a break.

watermelon sugar · Sep 3, 2021

miamae said:
I found out today, at my first pregnancy scan, that it’s twins but they are a rare form of twins (1%) and the likelihood of them surviving is bleak and they could have a range of health issues if their shared placenta doesn’t kill them first (very likely) so we are having to terminate a planned and wanted pregnancy. I am devastated and just need a break. I was in a car crash that was very nearly fatal 10 weeks ago, our cat has gone missing a few weeks ago and now this I honestly need a break.

that’s awful I’m so sorry
I’ve not much advice as I don’t know what to say that will make you feel any better but you’re in my thoughts. Please take it easy and take a day at a time

Sending love xx

Caramel Latte · Sep 5, 2021

I was out with my family and omw home I witnessed a girl getting sexually assaulted by a guy in the street. It happened too quickly and i was in the car with closed windows and i feel so guilty for not doing anything.

Honestly, i hope these parasites die as they clearly don't deserve to live like humans. Disgusting

nbt · Sep 5, 2021

Caramel Latte said:
I was out with my family and omw home I witnessed a girl getting sexually assaulted by a guy in the street. It happened too quickly and i was in the car with closed windows and i feel so guilty for not doing anything.

Honestly, i hope these parasites die as they clearly don't deserve to live like humans. Disgusting

There is still so much you can do!! Have you called the police? You need to ring them! You can give the location and as much info as possible. It’ll help them piece things together, appeal for other witnesses, check CCTV.

Please call them!!

NoseyNiamh · Sep 5, 2021

Caramel Latte said:
I was out with my family and omw home I witnessed a girl getting sexually assaulted by a guy in the street. It happened too quickly and i was in the car with closed windows and i feel so guilty for not doing anything.

Honestly, i hope these parasites die as they clearly don't deserve to live like humans. Disgusting

What, could you not have stopped the care or turned back to check if she was OK???

Kim Mild · Sep 5, 2021

Caramel Latte said:
I was out with my family and omw home I witnessed a girl getting sexually assaulted by a guy in the street. It happened too quickly and i was in the car with closed windows and i feel so guilty for not doing anything.

Honestly, i hope these parasites die as they clearly don't deserve to live like humans. Disgusting

Please report it . Your report could make such a difference.

Caramel Latte · Sep 6, 2021

I feel like i need to elaborate on my sad reality.
I live in a 3rd world country, where women are harassed daily, and where policemen are a vile group of society. With that being said, no there are no cctv, the pig did something inappropriate to her then ran off (it was a harassment not assault sorry English isn't my first language). The girl was shocked and it shocked me to see it happen cuz i moved to this country just a few months ago. The most i could do is open a window and shout but he literally just ran away the b. Not everywhere is like your countries, laws here are to oppress the poor not to help them.

I was just getting used to walking in the streets alone but now I'm scared it would happen to me too.

WilmaHun · Sep 6, 2021

I tried to do something nice for somebody and she's somehow taken offence. Apparently I only do these things to make myself feel better! I don't care about how the other person feels it's all about self gratification! Who knew sending a friend a gift to cheer her up could cause a falling out

TheGlossy · Sep 6, 2021

I don't know about this whole "back to normal" situation. It's bizarre. Part of me is glad things are slowly returning to "normal", but part of me is both underwhelmed and apprehensive. I am underwhelmed because I don't understand why our government got the idea to fully re-open the country in the middle of autumn when flu season is about to kick in and the vaccine immunity probably likely to drop as most people will have reached the 6 months mark by December and we still don't know much about immunity past the 6 months mark. We'll see how it goes I suppose.

Additionally, the last time we experienced a normal "fall" / "winter" was back in 2019 and I still have bad memories from that year's fall / winter. Therefore, the thought of going back to "normal" is a bit triggered to me because it's as though life was put on pause last year and we're suddenly returning where we left off and all the memories from 2019 are coming back to me. Things have obviously changed quite a bit since, but still, it's stressing me out.

Raininvain · Sep 6, 2021

Just had a right shock, I was reading through the BBC article about the woman that fell from Arthurs seat and her husband has been charged with murder. I looked at the photo's and looked again and I know her. I worked with her a decade or so ago and what a nice person she was.

LittleMy · Sep 7, 2021

I’m worried about my son who will be 6 at the end of the month. For context, he is autistic and has speech and language delays - although these have improved a lot with SLT and with time. He’s very clever for his age and attends a mainstream primary school. He does appear to manage well and enjoy school but will often come out at the end of the day crying due to tiredness. He also “has” to win - everything is a competition to him, and I mean everything. If he’s not first to do something then he’ll throw himself around and cry about it for ages. My main concern however is that I’ve noticed that when he doesn’t get his way he’ll try to hurt himself by biting his arms and hitting his face, but most concerning are the things that he’s started saying.

Last night when I was telling him it was time for bed he told me he would kill himself. He’s said he’ll hurt himself in the past and once even said he would kill me with a knife (he didn’t mean it and he apologised afterwards and cried saying that he loved me). A part of me thinks he’s just being over-dramatic and doesn’t really mean these things or understand how bad it sounds, but as you can imagine it’s also really upsetting to hear that from your child. I spent last night crying my eyes out over it after he calmed down and went to sleep but I don’t even know where he picked up talk like that from. I don’t know if he’s frustrated and angry and it’s just word vomit because he’s struggling in the moment to express how he feels, or if he really does want to hurt himself. I’m just at a loss really.

Merpedy · Sep 7, 2021

Bit of a vent

My uni friends and I decided to live in an 8 person house for our second year as we figured that would give us a good mix of introverts and extroverts after the pandemic situation. Anyway, the particular group of people we chose to live with are either very clueless or lowkey a bit toxic.

One of them keeps noting how several of the people have done more stuff than anyone else. This is as simple as finding the house and contacting the agents etc, though we recognised their effort through letting them choose their rooms first, though they then basically chose everyone else's' rooms for them anyway. Then they were unhappy with the rooms and almost successfully insisted that people change rooms

They have the whole insisting thing down to a T also. They want it? They'll probably insist we do it which is just annoying, and we don't even properly live together yet

Turns out we haven't sorted out the bills despite a person having lived there over the entire summer. It's like... how are you being shady to people who were not there to begin with? It was very much that specific person's responsibility since they're actually at the house and therefore the one paying the bills atm. Anyway, these specific people are trying to blame it on us and acting as though we've not done anything to help them

And boy, we have done stuff to help them. They just refuse to acknowledge it

BettyCrockerr · Sep 7, 2021

Merpedy said:
Bit of a vent

My uni friends and I decided to live in an 8 person house for our second year as we figured that would give us a good mix of introverts and extroverts after the pandemic situation. Anyway, the particular group of people we chose to live with are either very clueless or lowkey a bit toxic.

One of them keeps noting how several of the people have done more stuff than anyone else. This is as simple as finding the house and contacting the agents etc, though we recognised their effort through letting them choose their rooms first, though they then basically chose everyone else's' rooms for them anyway. Then they were unhappy with the rooms and almost successfully insisted that people change rooms

They have the whole insisting thing down to a T also. They want it? They'll probably insist we do it which is just annoying, and we don't even properly live together yet

Turns out we haven't sorted out the bills despite a person having lived there over the entire summer. It's like... how are you being shady to people who were not there to begin with? It was very much that specific person's responsibility since they're actually at the house and therefore the one paying the bills atm. Anyway, these specific people are trying to blame it on us and acting as though we've not done anything to help them

And boy, we have done stuff to help them. They just refuse to acknowledge it

Why on Earth do you A) want to live with 7 other people? And B) live with people you don’t seem to particularly like?! Why not just move in with a few of your close friends?

Raininvain · Sep 8, 2021

Merpedy said:
Bit of a vent

My uni friends and I decided to live in an 8 person house for our second year as we figured that would give us a good mix of introverts and extroverts after the pandemic situation. Anyway, the particular group of people we chose to live with are either very clueless or lowkey a bit toxic.

One of them keeps noting how several of the people have done more stuff than anyone else. This is as simple as finding the house and contacting the agents etc, though we recognised their effort through letting them choose their rooms first, though they then basically chose everyone else's' rooms for them anyway. Then they were unhappy with the rooms and almost successfully insisted that people change rooms

They have the whole insisting thing down to a T also. They want it? They'll probably insist we do it which is just annoying, and we don't even properly live together yet

Turns out we haven't sorted out the bills despite a person having lived there over the entire summer. It's like... how are you being shady to people who were not there to begin with? It was very much that specific person's responsibility since they're actually at the house and therefore the one paying the bills atm. Anyway, these specific people are trying to blame it on us and acting as though we've not done anything to help them

And boy, we have done stuff to help them. They just refuse to acknowledge it

I'd forget it and just get a room in a house with some other people. If its like this now what's it going to be like further down the line? I know loads of people in houses who fell out as students over everything basically.

Merpedy · Sep 8, 2021

BettyCrockerr said:
Why on Earth do you A) want to live with 7 other people? And B) live with people you don’t seem to particularly like?! Why not just move in with a few of your close friends?

A) We figured a larger house would make us a bit more extroverted and introduce us to more people after the pandemic and what not
B) They seemed really nice when we met them and now the slightly toxic colours are showing in just the way they address us and what not, though I may be the only person to really notice it atm, or my friends are mostly fine with it

Raininvain said:
I'd forget it and just get a room in a house with some other people. If its like this now what's it going to be like further down the line? I know loads of people in houses who fell out as students over everything basically.

I'd do this but I'm too anxious to live with new people again and with it being so close to the start of the year I'm not sure I'd have much luck + we've already moved in. My plan is to just try and avoid them if they continue this pattern of behaviour

ChampagneBox · Sep 8, 2021

TheGlossy said:
I don't know about this whole "back to normal" situation. It's bizarre. Part of me is glad things are slowly returning to "normal", but part of me is both underwhelmed and apprehensive. I am underwhelmed because I don't understand why our government got the idea to fully re-open the country in the middle of autumn when flu season is about to kick in and the vaccine immunity probably likely to drop as most people will have reached the 6 months mark by December and we still don't know much about immunity past the 6 months mark. We'll see how it goes I suppose.

Additionally, the last time we experienced a normal "fall" / "winter" was back in 2019 and I still have bad memories from that year's fall / winter. Therefore, the thought of going back to "normal" is a bit triggered to me because it's as though life was put on pause last year and we're suddenly returning where we left off and all the memories from 2019 are coming back to me. Things have obviously changed quite a bit since, but still, it's stressing me out.

I feel exactly the same as you! For some reason I feel worse now knowing we’re coming out of lockdowns than I did in the middle of them! I just feel….flat about the whole thing!

TheGlossy · Sep 8, 2021

My job is seriously getting ridiculous by the minute.

We were subjected to an internal audit review this quarter. As part of the review, they picked a few projects and the respective client files. They clearly decided to tear me apart and most of the audit revolved around two of my projects. Those were two projects I worked on simultaneously, doing 12+ hours a day including weekends to the point where I landed at the emergency 6 months later.

Anyways, all of my files sampled for this internal audit were classed as "Ineffective" and it doesn't help that some other people who helped me out on the project got an "ineffective" as a result. The reasons why I got an "ineffective" are simply absurd:

Every single task we took was compliant, but either the project manager or I failed to upload into the system an email which defined certain tasks. The thing is the internal policy itself clearly states the junior staff reviews XYZ and the senior staff reviews XYZ. This separation of duties we strictly abided by and we clearly stipulated it in the template for the client files we worked on. But no, someone failed to upload the email where the senior manager reconfirmed something that's been pre-defined in the policy. The policy itself does not state this email needs to be uploaded anywhere. Hard to know who is responsible for an oversight if the policy doesn't specify this step anywhere. It simply states the template we use need to clearly identify who does what and that's what we did. This also means that the other junior staff who helped me out still get an "ineffective" under their name when they weren't in charge of uploading anything into the system. It's ridiculous and unfair.
Then, some more senior people who were involved in the project failed to perform some of their assigned tasks. Here we got again, both myself, the other junior analysts and the project manager got an "ineffective" even though this has nothing to do with our piece of the work. The project manager had clearly communicated they needed to do XYZ and they didn't do anything.
To top it all off, one senior manager failed to upload a piece of work done by the junior analyst, but the work was done. Internal Audit captured it was "Not done" and marked me and the senior manager as "ineffective". How about you ask? The project is not over yet and we have until October to close the relevant project file in the system, thus we have until then to upload this. Why say it wasn't done when it was done?

I'm getting a nasty headache from all this because on top of it being absolutely pointless, now both the project manager and the junior analysts will not want to work with me anymore because they're getting an "ineffective" under their name for unreasonable reasons out of my control. Also, why are they auditing projects that are still ongoing and mark items as not done when we have until October or November to finalize, upload all files and close the file?

I'm absolutely sick of them.

livingforthetea · Sep 9, 2021

Really struggling right now with anxiety about my child growing up in a world where humans seem to be regressing and care more about money / social media than anything else. Having read a story about a 12 year old girl who committed suicide after pupil on pupil sexual abuse, only for her grave to have now been trashed and smeared with dog faeces, it makes me despair. I live in a town where county lines are targeting young children and often see pre-teens riding round starting fights and dealing drugs. I am so terrified for my 9 year old going to secondary school. She has mild cerebral palsy and anxiety. I’ve recently got her into therapy with a private counsellor as she has compulsions to say sorry constantly and generally worries about so much (she isn’t ‘neurotypical’ and has had these issues since she was young)

I just cannot shut off to this fear I have about her potentially being bullied, getting mixed up in the wrong crowd, being exposed to social media etc. I know I’m probably being irrational but when I was in school, if you were a target of bullies you could go home and it would be a sanctuary. Now with social media, there is no relief for children. Children are becoming preoccupied with ‘likes’ and are consumed with how they look. I realise I’m just rambling but how do you not become consumed with fear about your children growing up with so much awful stuff happening in the world? I try my absolute best to hide it from her and think of the positives but I live with this constant feeling of pure fear for her future.

Bitofthebubbly · Sep 9, 2021

livingforthetea said:
Really struggling right now with anxiety about my child growing up in a world where humans seem to be regressing and care more about money / social media than anything else. Having read a story about a 12 year old girl who committed suicide after pupil on pupil sexual abuse, only for her grave to have now been trashed and smeared with dog faeces, it makes me despair. I live in a town where county lines are targeting young children and often see pre-teens riding round starting fights and dealing drugs. I am so terrified for my 9 year old going to secondary school. She has mild cerebral palsy and anxiety. I’ve recently got her into therapy with a private counsellor as she has compulsions to say sorry constantly and generally worries about so much (she isn’t ‘neurotypical’ and has had these issues since she was young)

I just cannot shut off to this fear I have about her potentially being bullied, getting mixed up in the wrong crowd, being exposed to social media etc. I know I’m probably being irrational but when I was in school, if you were a target of bullies you could go home and it would be a sanctuary. Now with social media, there is no relief for children. Children are becoming preoccupied with ‘likes’ and are consumed with how they look. I realise I’m just rambling but how do you not become consumed with fear about your children growing up with so much awful stuff happening in the world? I try my absolute best to hide it from her and think of the positives but I live with this constant feeling of pure fear for her future.

I know exactly how you feel. I have a daughter who will be 9 in a few months and a 6 year old. I am so scared for them growing up. There just seems to be no respite from social media these days. I had MySpace in my teens, it definitely had its problems, but there wasn’t an app and you had to be on a computer to access it. You could turn your pc off and forget about it. Not like nowadays when we have the whole world in our back pocket all the time. My daughter already wants a phone but I’ve said not until the summer before starting secondary school and don’t expect it to be an all singing and dancing smart phone. Some kids in her class already have phones and are on tictoc and stuff. I really don’t get why you’d want to get your kid obsessed with social media at such a young age. I think it’s bad parenting to be quite honest.

Child on child sexual abuse is unfortunately on the rise. It’s terrifying, and its mostly boys abusing girls. As a mother of girls I just want to wrap them up forever and never let them go. Like you I feel like the world is getting worse, not better.