thanks. I’m feeling quite sick today. I’m going back to bed. If he says about talking soon I might just meet with him and get it done. If he wants to leave I can’t stop him. This is hardly a relationship at the moment. It hurtsGall stones are extremely uncomfortable. I hope you get treated very soon! Sending well wishes.
Ignoring you for 10 days doesn’t sound very supportive. I’m sorry he’s cold especially when you need support and after you’ve apologized. It’s not all on you. Are you able to confirm with him that you will need time but you’d be open to talk in person once you’re feeling better? Maybe he’d respond to that type of phrasing a bit more.
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I’m posting this here because I need to vent and get it off my chest, I hope this is okay.
Me and my boyfriend have been together 11 years and I’ve met his friends a handful of times.
For some reason he doesn’t like doing stuff together with them, I understand he might one a meal out to catch up with his mates which is absolutely fine but one of his mates always bring his girlfriend and she’s expressed she wants to meet me to him and he said he will bring me next time but never does and says to every time he gets home oh I didn’t realise she was going to be there I thought it was a lads meal out.
He does it every time and is the same with mixing our families together, he refuses to invite them to anything I do with my family or if I organise a charity event the doesn’t want them invited.
his friend and girlfriend recently had a baby and we’ve gone out to get them presents but he’s dropped them by himself and didn’t ask me if I wanted to come and meet the girlfriend and the baby.
I just constantly feel like I’m invisible even though they all know about me and how long we’ve been together.
Me and my boyfriend have been together 11 years and I’ve met his friends a handful of times.
For some reason he doesn’t like doing stuff together with them, I understand he might one a meal out to catch up with his mates which is absolutely fine but one of his mates always bring his girlfriend and she’s expressed she wants to meet me to him and he said he will bring me next time but never does and says to every time he gets home oh I didn’t realise she was going to be there I thought it was a lads meal out.
He does it every time and is the same with mixing our families together, he refuses to invite them to anything I do with my family or if I organise a charity event the doesn’t want them invited.
his friend and girlfriend recently had a baby and we’ve gone out to get them presents but he’s dropped them by himself and didn’t ask me if I wanted to come and meet the girlfriend and the baby.
I just constantly feel like I’m invisible even though they all know about me and how long we’ve been together.
Last week a young girl reached out on Facebook to my husband. She told him she thought he was her dad. We got a paternity test done and found out today that he is in fact her dad. She is 22 and has 2 children. He was in a relationship with her mum when he was 19 and they broke up and she never told him she was pregnant. We have 2 teenage boys. I can't stop crying. I know it's not his fault but I can't get over how happy he is. I'm not at all. I was happy with our little family and now I feel like we are being invaded. Hes now a grandad! I wanted us to become grandparents together and that has been taken away. I am so resentful of her. I really don't want to be but I just can't help myself. I dont want her in my life. I really felt like walking out today. Am I in the wrong here because I am being made to feel like I am
I don’t think you are wrong to feel resentful at all. That’s massive for you to take in and whatever you are feeling right now is a natural and extremely valid reaction.
I am writing this as someone that came into my dads life when I was late teens. It’s all very exciting and dramatic and new right now. But before you know it, things will settle back to ‘normal’ life but with added extended family members. You and your partner have known her for the same amount of time so for her, whilst there is the initial draw more towards her dad than you, when it settles you are both just as equal a part of her life.
I appreciate your comment about becoming grandparents together. That must be really difficult for you. As savage as it is towards both her and her children.. There is going to be a difference when you become grandparents together as those babies will be because of the men you have raised together and are the product of that which is a bond nobody can take from you. But his daughter and her children have had no say in this matter so try not to put any resentment on them.
I can’t imagine from the other side of what I went through the insane range of emotions that you must be feeling. But try not to do anything rash like walking out. Give things time to settle and then see how you feel if you can
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I think it's understandable to feel as though your world has been rocked, although you may come to look at what you gain from the situation, not what you lose.
The daughter may have an agenda, but the little ones are innocent and will see you in the same light as your husband ( so if they consider him grandad you will be seen as grandma) .
Please don't resent them because you are mourning hypothetical biological grandchildren.
I hope things work out for you all .
My job. I work for my family business, I never intended on being here but I needed a bit of work after uni and I slowly took on more and more and I’ve been here full time for about 5 years now. I do enjoy it but I get some absolute fuckwits who just ruin it for me. Today I got called an incompetent, arrogant and unqualified. All because someone cannot read an email and instead of holding their hands up they go hard for the angry keyboard worrier. They do it every time I send an email and I’m just exhausted.
My job is wonderful in many ways, I am completely flexible. I’m currently working 2-3 days a week and it’s just about enough to keep me afloat. Pre covid I was on £46K full time.
There is a local job going at a pet cemetery, I know morbid but my dream job is an embalmer. It’s about 5 minutes from my house but it is all week, some weekends and only £25K. I want to progress in my career but I just don’t know what to do (I have an art degree and a adult teaching qualification). Deep down I want to do something meaningful and actually feel like I’m part of the world because right now I just feel like I contribute nothing.
I mentioned the job to my mum and she just went oh you can’t leave your dad in the lurch. He would massively suffer if I went and I wouldn’t be able to go back.
My job is wonderful in many ways, I am completely flexible. I’m currently working 2-3 days a week and it’s just about enough to keep me afloat. Pre covid I was on £46K full time.
There is a local job going at a pet cemetery, I know morbid but my dream job is an embalmer. It’s about 5 minutes from my house but it is all week, some weekends and only £25K. I want to progress in my career but I just don’t know what to do (I have an art degree and a adult teaching qualification). Deep down I want to do something meaningful and actually feel like I’m part of the world because right now I just feel like I contribute nothing.
I mentioned the job to my mum and she just went oh you can’t leave your dad in the lurch. He would massively suffer if I went and I wouldn’t be able to go back.
My new job. Strange atmosphere. People whispering. People going out of the room to whisper to each other. Getting paranoid.
My sibling. Harasses me with his problems, complains that people shouldn't talk about being happy, as they are 'rubbing his face in it', then when something goes good for him, he harasses me with 'all about me!' messages.
Expensive commute.
Feeling like I have lost all my good friends over the past few years. Gone from a good mix, to barely any.
Regret moving back to my hometown.
Feels good to vent
My sibling. Harasses me with his problems, complains that people shouldn't talk about being happy, as they are 'rubbing his face in it', then when something goes good for him, he harasses me with 'all about me!' messages.
Expensive commute.
Feeling like I have lost all my good friends over the past few years. Gone from a good mix, to barely any.
Regret moving back to my hometown.
Feels good to vent
A few years back I was with a waste of space and we lived in a rented house. He was vile and I felt trapped. I ended up reserving a new build house and went through the process for 3 months until exchange, without telling him a thing. I also got a new job near the house which I told him I didn't get. I'd never lied before but he'd pushed me to the edge.I saw the title of this thread and after being sat staring at my four walls for the past hour thought it might be a good place to get some words of support… I’ve typed it all out and maybe I just needed to share it as no one knows and it feels like a huge weight I’m carrying
So after a tough lockdown last year I discovered my boyfriend (35 years old !) of 2 years at the time (November) had been sexting other girls, liking their photos, messaging them flirty messages etc. We talked, I forgave him.
Since then I’ve had minimal effort from him, he’s always on his phone etc. Two weeks ago
I discovered he’s been flirting again on his Instagram DM,s and sending the fire emoji out to girls he follows… (younger, pretty, “Instagram” type girls - big lips etc). Im hidden from any social media so he probably appears single to them.
ive not confronted him this time as Im done with being disrespected. Ive been saving up for a house deposit since it happened the first time as I live With him (his house) and I knew i needed a backup should it happen again. Ive seen a property and I’m one step away from a mortgage offer, ive done this all on my own! It should be such a proud, exciting moment but I feel very guilty doing this behind his back but for once I need to look out for me.
it’s very hard being here in the interim, knowing the house ive seen isn’t ready until October, biting my tongue when he is cocky or rude to me. I know I won’t / can’t stick it out with a brave face until then and ultimately need to find something temporary.
I shouldn’t be so nice and consider his feelings (it’s just who I am!) but i Don’t feel fair on him being here when I could just let him move on. Feel like I’m using him a bit… guess that’s where I have a conscious and he doesn’t.
Dragging this weight around for the past week or
So has been hard, on top of the initial dishonestly last year. Feeling very unmotivated to exercise and enjoy life with my mind on overdrive, getting little sleep or inner peace.
I believe we’re all a path and it’ll work out one way or another, just hard sometimes when your in the situation.
Literally a week before exchange I dropped the bombshell that I was off and had decided to buy a house. I can't tell you the relief I felt!!
Thank you for this! I’m so needed it; I feel sneaky and keeping a secret is so risky whilst living with him. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel but it’s hard when on one hand he winds me up and the 10% of the day he’s nice to me I feel guilty.
I hope you’re happy since the move - good on you!!
The 10% isn't worth it is it! My ex was horrible and used to shout and blame me for all his life's problems
Then we'd have a nice hour and I'd doubt myself. But partners should be nice and good for you 100% of the time.I'm much happier now thanks and from what I see online, so is he.
Good luck and keep looking forward
Thank youThe 10% isn't worth it is it! My ex was horrible and used to shout and blame me for all his life's problems
I'm much happier now thanks and from what I see online, so is he.
Good luck and keep looking forward
Everything you’ve said I’ve had the same - especially the doubt over if it’s the right thing.
I’ll keep going; just knowing you’ve been in the same boat and gone through this is a huge help
I'm on my fifth cry of the day. My partner and I got engaged just over a month ago, but had been talking about getting married for a year before it, and we decided we want to elope. I've told my family this plan to...mixed reactions. Anyway, we booked the venue and registrar this week and I was so excited about it!!!
But now my grandma has phoned me and said that she's upset about it, and my mum's trying to invite herself, her partner and my grandma to the ceremony. I said no, for the reasons I've told everyone in my family before. They know why we want an elopement and yet they're doing all this. I understand why they're upset but we're going to have a party with all our family and friends a few weeks after the wedding to celebrate. I've invited my mum and my grandma to go wedding dress shopping with me, and planned a mini hen thing with just family and like 2 friends to include them. Now they're ignoring my messages about non-wedding stuff in the family group chat and I just don't feel excited anymore.
I want to marry my fiancé and have the wedding we want but it's just so upsetting having my family just act like this. It's reached the point where I've asked one of my friends if she would consider planning something to get my family drunk the day before our wedding to make sure they can't travel to the hotel and gatecrash!! I just feel so unsupported and I want to feel excited about my wedding but I don't, right now. The way they're trying to guilt me into having the sort of wedding my partner and I don't even want is so unfair.
But now my grandma has phoned me and said that she's upset about it, and my mum's trying to invite herself, her partner and my grandma to the ceremony. I said no, for the reasons I've told everyone in my family before. They know why we want an elopement and yet they're doing all this. I understand why they're upset but we're going to have a party with all our family and friends a few weeks after the wedding to celebrate. I've invited my mum and my grandma to go wedding dress shopping with me, and planned a mini hen thing with just family and like 2 friends to include them. Now they're ignoring my messages about non-wedding stuff in the family group chat and I just don't feel excited anymore.
I want to marry my fiancé and have the wedding we want but it's just so upsetting having my family just act like this. It's reached the point where I've asked one of my friends if she would consider planning something to get my family drunk the day before our wedding to make sure they can't travel to the hotel and gatecrash!! I just feel so unsupported and I want to feel excited about my wedding but I don't, right now. The way they're trying to guilt me into having the sort of wedding my partner and I don't even want is so unfair.
Weddings and families are difficult things, I would say though if you want to elope and don’t want anyone there it’s best not to tell anyone and just do it, that’s kinds of the point of eloping. Effectively you’ve told them your getting married and not invited them, regardless of the reason people will get offended. I didn’t have bridesmaids and one of my friends was fuming. She threatened to turn up on the day (she wasn’t invited) in a certain colour. In the end I couldn’t tell her the date for risk of her doing it!
I'm really bitter. Everyone on social media are getting engaged/getting their dream houses and i look at my life and can't help it but feel embarrassed at how lonely i am/ how uneventful my life is.
I don't wanna be bitter, i wanna be happy for them but right now i can't
I know they don't have the perfect life, and i wouldn't want to have their lives either I just want my life to get better in a sense.
Ughhhhhh
I don't wanna be bitter, i wanna be happy for them but right now i can't
I know they don't have the perfect life, and i wouldn't want to have their lives either I just want my life to get better in a sense.
Ughhhhhh
Hugs.I'm really bitter. Everyone on social media are getting engaged/getting their dream houses and i look at my life and can't help it but feel embarrassed at how lonely i am/ how uneventful my life is.
I don't wanna be bitter, i wanna be happy for them but right now i can't
I know they don't have the perfect life, and i wouldn't want to have their lives either I just want my life to get better in a sense.
Ughhhhhh
Just wanted to say you are not alone. I feel exactly what you just described.I know I'm being spolit and jealous but my in laws are coming tomorrow so my husband is busy cleaning and tidying.
I dont have parents so feel a bit jealous that his are coming to visit. Obviously I wouldn't say that to him as it must be exciting and I dont want to ruin it for him . I did help by hoovering the hallway.
I dont have parents so feel a bit jealous that his are coming to visit. Obviously I wouldn't say that to him as it must be exciting and I dont want to ruin it for him . I did help by hoovering the hallway.
May I ask which autoimmune condition?
I've been engaged about a year and have raised the option of eloping to my partner. He wants his family there. I don't want a normal wedding with all the cringe stuff and his crazy family interfering.
I've just stopped asking him about it as the conversation goes round in circles.
I want to elope to avoid all the nonsense you've described! His family sound like yours and I just cannot deal with it.
Honestly right now I just feel so empty. Ive got postnatal depression and every day life is just getting harder and harder for me. My antidepressants haven't kicked in yet. I've been given other medication to try when I'm feeling really low and can't take it because my partners constantly working and I have 2 young kids (apparently it'll make me drowsy). I feel like I'm drowning in my own body. I can't focus on things. I'm withdrawing from people because I just don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone
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