Support for anyone that needs to vent #3

[Angrysue_]

I'm back again. I'm having a bad day. How long until I won't feel so heart broken after being cheated on by my wife at the beginning of our fertility journey. I feel completely and utterly broken and lost.
I feel like I'm not coping but some days I feel I'm ok. I know it's journey and a rollercoaster at that, but this is unbearable pain. It's been 9 weeks and it feels like it's getting worse not easier

 

[rainbowlemon]

I'm back again. I'm having a bad day. How long until I won't feel so heart broken after being cheated on by my wife at the beginning of our fertility journey. I feel completely and utterly broken and lost.
I feel like I'm not coping but some days I feel I'm ok. I know it's journey and a rollercoaster at that, but this is unbearable pain. It's been 9 weeks and it feels like it's getting worse not easier

It took me 9 months to get over a short 9 month relationship and there was no marriage involved. I know it doesn’t help, but it stops when it stops. Take it one moment at a time.

How long were you together?

 

[Angrysue_]

It took me 9 months to get over a short 9 month relationship and there was no marriage involved. I know it doesn’t help, but it stops when it stops. Take it one moment at a time.

How long were you together?

Together 8 years, married for 15month!

 

[rainbowlemon]

Together 8 years, married for 15month!

Sending you a virtual hug and love.

The first step to healing is not to bury the pain, but to feel it in its fullest depths. You will get through this. Do you have friends around you right now you can meet up for a coffee ? You don’t have to do it alone.

It is grief too over the life you dreamed you would have.

 

[Slaybutter]

I’ve been speaking with my family frequently in the lead up to my grandfather’s 90th birthday. It’s so stressful. There’s so much manipulation that goes on. Someone supposedly says something that’s not on the level but the source can’t even be trusted because lying is just natural for everybody. No one wants to consider anyone else’s feelings. It’s too much bother. They’ll simply lie for the sake of making their life easier.

I can’t wait until the party is over and then I can go back to my normal life where I’m not constantly second guessing what is real.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

When you ask a question on social media and que the judging or asking why was XY and Z. First of all Dave I don't have to justify why I asked this specific question. If nobody can give me an answer that is fine but since when did I have to tell people exactly what happened and why I need a specific number and/or help.
It's not even something juicy or particularly interesting but just out of principal I don't want to say anything because it's none of their business

 

[Angrysue_]

Sending you a virtual hug and love.

The first step to healing is not to bury the pain, but to feel it in its fullest depths. You will get through this. Do you have friends around you right now you can meet up for a coffee ? You don’t have to do it alone.

It is grief too over the life you dreamed you would have.

Yeah I have some really good friends that have massively stepped up and carried me basically through this.
I feel better today but I seem to have good days and horrendous days one day to the next. I absolutely dread the bad days but I know I have to feel all of this and have to ride it out.
It really is like grief, it's absolutely horrific.
Thank you for responding

 

[TheGlossy]

I’m exhausted.

For some reason, I’m feeling this urge to just uproot my life to a place where I’ve never lived before and get a fresh start. The urge is getting stronger every day because I feel as though where I currently live has been tarnished with a lot of negative experiences in the last 2-3 years.

The issue is that I’ve no clue where to go or where to start. I feel suffocated where I currently am but I’m afraid of trading stability for something that will turn out to be a mistake. However, I simply can’t shake the fact that I feel like I need to move on because my happiness is elsewhere. I’m so confused.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’m exhausted.

For some reason, I’m feeling this urge to just uproot my life to a place where I’ve never lived before and get a fresh start. The urge is getting stronger every day because I feel as though where I currently live has been tarnished with a lot of negative experiences in the last 2-3 years.

The issue is that I’ve no clue where to go or where to start. I feel suffocated where I currently am but I’m afraid of trading stability for something that will turn out to be a mistake. However, I simply can’t shake the fact that I feel like I need to move on because my happiness is elsewhere. I’m so confused.

Listen I say you only live once, start looking for work elsewhere or move somewhere else and then look for work. We only really regret the things we never had the balls to do.
I would say however don't do it because of your negative experiences. Moving won't change any of that and you might just end up miserable in a new place

 

[puddleduck]

Listen I say you only live once, start looking for work elsewhere or move somewhere else and then look for work. We only really regret the things we never had the balls to do.
I would say however don't do it because of your negative experiences. Moving won't change any of that and you might just end up miserable in a new place

Got to agree that wherever you go you will still be the same person.
Having said that, long story but I did it and it worked out for me.
Hope you find your answers 🫂

 

[TheGlossy]

Listen I say you only live once, start looking for work elsewhere or move somewhere else and then look for work. We only really regret the things we never had the balls to do.
I would say however don't do it because of your negative experiences. Moving won't change any of that and you might just end up miserable in a new place

Thank you.

I think there’s a lot more to it than just the negative experiences. I don’t have any friends here and it’s become hard to meet people. Every day is the same thing. I basically don’t have much of a life aside from work which means I’m not growing as a human being.

There are a lot of factors that are driving this urge besides the negative experiences. Certainly, you can’t be at peace anywhere if you’re not at peace with yourself but I feel as though the reasons why I feel miserable are more external than internal.

We’ll see what happens. It could be it’s just a temporary feeling.

 

[xx3221]

I'm back again. I'm having a bad day. How long until I won't feel so heart broken after being cheated on by my wife at the beginning of our fertility journey. I feel completely and utterly broken and lost.
I feel like I'm not coping but some days I feel I'm ok. I know it's journey and a rollercoaster at that, but this is unbearable pain. It's been 9 weeks and it feels like it's getting worse not easier

I was with my ex for almost 5 years and he was all I ever knew. We split up and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done but each day it will hurt a little less and then one day it won't hurt at all. Getting sad every now and then doesn't mean you're back at square 1, you are so far forward from square one and you can be upset - it was 8 years! But one day it will start to feel okay again.

 

[instasham13]

Don't think I've posted on this thread before but just needed to vent. I work 3 long days per week so completely realise I'm lucky to have 4 days off but for a while now I've been really envious of friends who WFH. That will never be possible in my role and I wish I could have a slice of the WFH life, sticking a washing on etc. I miss taking kids to clubs because I work 8-8 and I'm generally just fed up as the 3 long days are exhausting and I end up spending my days off recovering or doing homework etc. I know I'm the only person who can change this but without a drastic career change and pay cut I can't see me getting a hybrid role.

 

[JoeBloggs]

My husbands best friend He’s always been very immature but we are now 33 and it’s getting exhausting. My husband has been struggling with a drinking problem, his friend has never been supportive but today was coming round to watch the football, not drinking.

I made it clear I had an important meeting in the morning and went up to bed. It’s now 2am, they ran out of beer and they’ve drunk my birthday Prosecco I was given (as they always do). I went down to ask them to be quiet and saw the bottle and just lost it.

His best friend has now been spouting how awful I am, they then got in the car (way over the limit) to get more alcohol.

They can never ever just have a few or none. He is a waste of space, unemployed yet again and just acting like a wick. He’ll deny it all in the morning and the cycle begins again.

 

[tomato_paste]

I’m exhausted.

For some reason, I’m feeling this urge to just uproot my life to a place where I’ve never lived before and get a fresh start. The urge is getting stronger every day because I feel as though where I currently live has been tarnished with a lot of negative experiences in the last 2-3 years.

The issue is that I’ve no clue where to go or where to start. I feel suffocated where I currently am but I’m afraid of trading stability for something that will turn out to be a mistake. However, I simply can’t shake the fact that I feel like I need to move on because my happiness is elsewhere. I’m so confused.

Omg I can relate so hard! I've been thinking the same thoughts over and over and I've gotten nowhere either - where should I go and will that change anything at all? But staying gets harder with each lonely week, feeling like my life is on hold and passing my by at the same time.

Are you thinking of moving abroad or within your home country? Moving abroad is amazing and exciting but it also has risks, while moving across country will be safer but less "new". I've done both so if you have questions let me know!

 

[watermelon sugar]

I really opened up to a friend about my life and why I am the way I am (insecurity wise, trauma wise) why I act the way I act about certain things. Told her about things I’ve been through and really opened up. Explained I have BPD and just generally really opened up for her to ever since make me the butt of her jokes and taking the piss out of me, bringing up my past experiences in jokes and calling me a physco at the tiniest of things. If i’m a bit funny or something or if the tiniest thing gets to me she’s like ‘it’s cos your a physco’ and mentioning my BPD. Wish i never brought it up or opened up to her, beginning to realise she weren’t the good friend I thought she was. Which is tit

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I really opened up to a friend about my life and why I am the way I am (insecurity wise, trauma wise) why I act the way I act about certain things. Told her about things I’ve been through and really opened up. Explained I have BPD and just generally really opened up for her to ever since make me the butt of her jokes and taking the piss out of me, bringing up my past experiences in jokes and calling me a physco at the tiniest of things. If i’m a bit funny or something or if the tiniest thing gets to me she’s like ‘it’s cos your a physco’ and mentioning my BPD. Wish i never brought it up or opened up to her, beginning to realise she weren’t the good friend I thought she was. Which is tit

God who needs enemies with friends like that. I’d be telling her to duck right off

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I really opened up to a friend about my life and why I am the way I am (insecurity wise, trauma wise) why I act the way I act about certain things. Told her about things I’ve been through and really opened up. Explained I have BPD and just generally really opened up for her to ever since make me the butt of her jokes and taking the piss out of me, bringing up my past experiences in jokes and calling me a physco at the tiniest of things. If i’m a bit funny or something or if the tiniest thing gets to me she’s like ‘it’s cos your a physco’ and mentioning my BPD. Wish i never brought it up or opened up to her, beginning to realise she weren’t the good friend I thought she was. Which is tit

Have you aksed her to stop? She might not realise she’s hurting your feelings. Otherwise you are right, then she’s just being a fool

 

[watermelon sugar]

Have you aksed her to stop? She might not realise she’s hurting your feelings. Otherwise you are right, then she’s just being a fool

Yes i have told her to stop

 

[Angrysue_]

My husbands best friend He’s always been very immature but we are now 33 and it’s getting exhausting. My husband has been struggling with a drinking problem, his friend has never been supportive but today was coming round to watch the football, not drinking.

I made it clear I had an important meeting in the morning and went up to bed. It’s now 2am, they ran out of beer and they’ve drunk my birthday Prosecco I was given (as they always do). I went down to ask them to be quiet and saw the bottle and just lost it.

His best friend has now been spouting how awful I am, they then got in the car (way over the limit) to get more alcohol.

They can never ever just have a few or none. He is a waste of space, unemployed yet again and just acting like a wick. He’ll deny it all in the morning and the cycle begins again.

This is awful! Have you spoken to him with regards to his alcohol and how it affects you? His friend is an hole !! And I would ban him from my home and I would not be happy that your boyfriend has allowed his mate to talk tit about you!!! So disrespectful!
I hope you are ok.
Appreciate that it is now the next day, how did it go this morning when he has woken up?