Stick with an only child or should I have another...?

[Sparks]

I feel like going from 0-1 was hard, from 1-2 was easy. I knew what I was doing and I didn't stress so much.
I always wanted 2 kids and I wanted them about 2 yrs apart. That didn't work out and we struggled with fertility issues. I finally accepted that he would be an only child and we got pregnant. My boys are 6 yrs apart with my oldest being 13 and my youngest 7. They fight, as siblings do. But they also play together. When I was pregnant, my oldest said: I can't wait to see what it feels like to be a big brother. I thought that was the sweetest.
I say go for it. Timing will never be perfect but you will make it work.

 

[veryfondoftea]

I have one child - an almost 8 year old daughter. My husband and I always said we only wanted one child and still stand by that. I have fleeting moments of broodiness (I loved being pregnant) and my daughter occasionally says she would like a sibling which makes me feel guilty. However, I have a brother who is three years younger than me and we didn’t get on until I was in my mid20s. Now we have a great relationship.
I can’t lie that sometimes I wish my daughter had a sibling to play with, when I can’t be bothered mostly. I try and get round that by being open to her having friends round when she asks, encouraging her to play by herself sometimes and when she’s older, we’d be happy to take a friend with us on on holiday too. She’s really sociable but one downside I would say is that because at home she doesn’t have to share, she can be very bossy and because we tend to go along with it, she can be like that with friends too and not understand about letting others have a look in I guess. It’s something we’re working on!

 

[Lipgoss]

I'm an only child and love it! I personally feel that it's made me more independent and outgoing as I could never just fall back on playing with siblings etc, had to learnt to approach people and make friends. I also think I'm more mature than some of my friends with siblings (not really saying that's a good or a bad thing, just how it is) as I spent much more time in adult company. I get that some kids find this boring, but I think it suited my personality better. Now that I'm grown up (mid 20s) and see some of my friends have really great relationships with siblings I recognise that would be nice to have, but I don't feel that I miss it. Can't miss what you've never had.
The only thing I think will be really horrendous about being an only is when my parents die (sorry, it's so morbid) - I guess that even though we will all experience a parent dying, the only other person that would get the personal pain of my parent dying is a sibling. But that is hopefully a long way down the line and will come at a time when I have my own partner and kids for support.

 

[Chewingthefat]

I have just had my second child at the age of 38, it’s not old these days. There’s a 4 year age gap between my two. It’s been so lovely having the newborn stage again. I also think it’s good for your little one to have someone else he can call family just in case god forbid anything ever happened to you, he’s got someone close.

 

[leon19]

I'm a mum to an only child who's now 5. I'm desperate for another child if my situation had of been different I would of had 2 by now. I've been with my current partner 3 years I would have one now if I could but due to various reasons and goals we want to meet it will be another 2 years yet. I get people who have more than 1 tell me just have 1 don't have more it will be so easy but I'm adamant its what I want so if its something you really do want you should just go for it. For most people there's probably never a perfect time slot for more kids with work commitments, less income while their young etc but I believe it will all work out in the end

 

[MissyAnon]

I'm an only child. I hated it growing up and still hate it now. It's lonely.

 

[HankMcPrank]

I was an only child. I begged my mum for a sibling even when I was early teens & I always said if I was to have children I would never just have one.

I have three & I’m happy.

 

[Trolleydollycoffeelover]

Theres absolutely nothing wrong with having or being an only child.

THANK YOU! I’m sick of people judging me and assuming I must have been spoilt/mollycoddled. Yes I was overprotected as a kid but I grew up to be independent, solo traveller and thinking on my own two feet. I was never lonely, yes on holiday maybe but my parents could have allowed me to bring a mate/cousin and it would have been ok. I always mated up with kids around the pool though!

I'm an only child. I hated it growing up and still hate it now. It's lonely.

Do you find it difficult to make friends? I forced myself out of my comfort zone and now I have the right balance of me-time and pals on call if I need them. My big issue was I noticed it was harder for me to participate in those dreaded teamwork activities in work and school. Either us onlies would get shouted down for being bossy or we would go the opposite direction (like me) with a fear of being seen to be bossy so we let the others take over and then get viewed as passive/lazy.

 

[Giftinghell]

Wow I rarely come on this site anymore and I have to say I am having the exact same thoughts....I just don’t know how we make the decision. Would love to hear from parents who have an only child. Sorry my reply doesn’t help you much x

Quoting myself to say we went for it, baby 2 due soon but my god the second pregnancy is harder. I’m exhausted, emotional, unfit….the first was a breeze compared to this. Excited of course, but 2 will do!

 

[Cutey]

I can't have..so if you can have...HAVE as many as you CAN...enjoy

 

[Abcd123]

I can't have..so if you can have...HAVE as many as you CAN...enjoy

I am the OP and also pregnant! Due in Autumn. Very happy and excited and know that it is the right decision for us

Edit to say I quoted the wrong post. Sorry to hear that you can't have xx

 

[Ineedmorecoffee]

Congratulations!

 

[StrawberryCream]

I am the OP and also pregnant! Due in Autumn. Very happy and excited and know that it is the right decision for us

Edit to say I quoted the wrong post. Sorry to hear that you can't have xx

Congrats! Took me well over a year to decide to have a second child I was constantly weighing up pros and cons. We ended up going for it and she was born in April, my 4 year old loves being a big sister and I’m so glad they have each other. Your little one will love it

 

[Sally1993]

I think it’s quite sad when children have no siblings. Yes their parents can entertain them at home, but it must be pretty quiet at home for the most-part.

 

[flopsymopsy]

Congrats OP!

 

[Anonymum21]

I'm an only child. I hated it as a child and still hate it now. It's a horrible type of loneliness and I don't have anyone to talk to about my childhood. The good or the bad. But I'm sure there are people who love being an only child.

I had a second child when my first was 3 and a half. I do like the age gap and it meant that they had a year to spend together until my eldest went off to school. For myself though, knowing what I know now, it would have been better to wait another year or so. My youngest is now almost 5 and I'd love to have another. During the day when they're both at school, it would be like having a first baby all over again. But would also mean going back to the nappies, sleepless nights, pram and half the house on outings etc. So don't leave it too long or you'll get used to an easy life again!

Mine go to their nans for sleepovers every now and again, my mum offers I don't ever push my luck, so me and my partner get time together, meals out, decent lie ins. It can be done. On weekends they even get up and make their own breakfast now so I don't have to bolt out of bed as soon as they wake up. Depends if you want to wait another few years for that bit of normality though.

It's a tough one but are you going to regret not having another? All that stuff you enjoy will come round again but there's a time limit on a baby. X

Oh just seen. Congratulations x

 

[Cutey]

I am the OP and also pregnant! Due in Autumn. Very happy and excited and know that it is the right decision for us

Edit to say I quoted the wrong post. Sorry to hear that you can't have xx

CONGRATS

 

[miamae]

Congrats OP! I have 2 and would love another one (my partner is desperate for another) however I had a blood clot in my last pregnancy, and after being told it was very rare it would happen again as I would have to be put on blood clot injections throughout it makes me super anxious! But I just don’t feel complete at 2 and neither does my partner. My daughter is 7 and my son is 18 months and we worry he will be lonely growing up due to the big age gap and my little girl never really wants to play with him - she’s too cool now apparently!!

 

[mrsshim62]

I’m an only child, not through my parents choice and I hated it. Our daughter is an only child, again not through our choice and she loves it! She now has three children….and I now know why the Lord only blessed me with one . I adore all three of them but it would’ve been short odds on who would’ve killed who first!! Good luck and lots of love, whatever you decide

 

[Notworthy]

I’m an only child, not through my parents choice and I hated it. Our daughter is an only child, again not through our choice and she loves it! She now has three children….and I now know why the Lord only blessed me with one . I adore all three of them but it would’ve been short odds on who would’ve killed who first!! Good luck and lots of love, whatever you decide

My Mum was an only child so had 4, I obviously was 1 of those 4 and I had 1 as I wanted to give my child the time and attention that I never got. Out of the those 4, I have 1 child, y sister has 2 and the others have none. Maybe my Son will have 4 and repeat the cycle