I agree 0-1 is a massive shift, life changing. But personally I think I found 2-3 harder because the number of children I had suddenly exceeded my number of hands 
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Haha yeah there was a realisation that we no longer had a child each to deal with when out but my two were older when my third was born so that's possibly why it was easierI agree 0-1 is a massive shift, life changing. But personally I think I found 2-3 harder because the number of children I had suddenly exceeded my number of hands
You have to do what's right for you. I'd say that asking for comments on an online forum is a bad idea. You are looking for justifications for how you are probably already feeling deep down. Whatever feeling it is just go with it.
What I will say is not all kids 'need' a sibling. You shouldnt have kids in order for them to look after you in old age, to me that is unfair and a burden on them. If you raise them right you will have no problems with them actually wanting to be around you in old age. It should not be an obligation on their existence. If you feel complete with one then that's fine. If you feel like someone is missing then have more. Society will have something to say either way.
I'm an only and have an only. We are both totally nrmal, very social and not spoiled. We are not strange or lonely. I dont want any more because I want to keep my mental health intact, I want extra money for fun things, I want a peaceful life and I'm happy with one. There is no shame. Same as some people with multiple kids love the busyness and are happy to divide their time between kids. That's not for me.
People will have something to say if you have one or five. So best to go with how you truly feel.
What I will say is not all kids 'need' a sibling. You shouldnt have kids in order for them to look after you in old age, to me that is unfair and a burden on them. If you raise them right you will have no problems with them actually wanting to be around you in old age. It should not be an obligation on their existence. If you feel complete with one then that's fine. If you feel like someone is missing then have more. Society will have something to say either way.
I'm an only and have an only. We are both totally nrmal, very social and not spoiled. We are not strange or lonely. I dont want any more because I want to keep my mental health intact, I want extra money for fun things, I want a peaceful life and I'm happy with one. There is no shame. Same as some people with multiple kids love the busyness and are happy to divide their time between kids. That's not for me.
People will have something to say if you have one or five. So best to go with how you truly feel.
I think it's a perfect example of, you don't miss what you've never had. I can't imagine growing up without siblings, because I had a brother and a sister. I know plenty of only-children, who don't mind being the only child.. as it's what they know! There is no right answer, go with what you want 
Iām an only child myself and there are positives and negatives to it. I think you tend to have a special bond with you parents but it can be difficult how intense that is- I very much felt all their eggs were in one basket! I found it lonely because my dad was in the forces - we moved around a lot - and I didnāt have cousins or anything nearby. I think if life had been a bit more consistent Iād have found making friends easier - it wasnāt necessarily because I was missing a sibling.
I have a 4 year old and Iām 34 weeks pregnant. I had a miscarriage last year and that definitely made me realise how much I wanted another baby.
Iād focus on getting into a good place health wise and then revisit the idea. In hindsight, I wasnāt mentally in the right place for another when I got pregnant last year whereas this time round I really took care of myself beforehand.
I have a 4 year old and Iām 34 weeks pregnant. I had a miscarriage last year and that definitely made me realise how much I wanted another baby.
Iād focus on getting into a good place health wise and then revisit the idea. In hindsight, I wasnāt mentally in the right place for another when I got pregnant last year whereas this time round I really took care of myself beforehand.
I am in two minds about this too. My reasons are a bit different. My husband and I are happy together but some things seem to be very hard for us in a way they aren't for others. Maybe I'm doing that compare and despair thing but I feel like the simple things take a lot of effort to manage and follow through, partly because my husband has ADHD and finds follow through really hard. I also don't always feel like we are on the same page in life. His personal goals at the moment seem to be mainly around his hobbies and interests and not around what we would need to work towards to have more children.
We have one daughter aged 20 months who is good natured and sleeps well and that has still felt like a massive adjustment. I've enjoyed it and would like to see another child grow up and develop in the way I'm experiencing with her. On the other hand, when I do give myself permission that one child is ok, I feel a bit of a sense of relief and peace.
I will say that I think the affordability thing especially around holidays is compensated for the fact that a lot of deals especially around e.g. package accommodation seem to be set up for the 2 parent 2 child family. I've heard three is when it gets really tricky as that's when you need a bigger car, etc!
We have one daughter aged 20 months who is good natured and sleeps well and that has still felt like a massive adjustment. I've enjoyed it and would like to see another child grow up and develop in the way I'm experiencing with her. On the other hand, when I do give myself permission that one child is ok, I feel a bit of a sense of relief and peace.
I will say that I think the affordability thing especially around holidays is compensated for the fact that a lot of deals especially around e.g. package accommodation seem to be set up for the 2 parent 2 child family. I've heard three is when it gets really tricky as that's when you need a bigger car, etc!
I'm an only child and couldn't imagine it any other way. I had friends and cousins to play with and I never went without. I was very spoilt still am and so are my children. My kids have a 5 year age gap. No more for me.
I'm from a big family but my husband only had one sibling and always wanted more so he wanted at least 4 children! However, time wasn't on my side so I had two close together but my second was a traumatic birth and I told my husband no more but then as time went on, I started to think I did want one more so we had another. There was a 5 year gap between my third and my second. It did feel a bit like starting again but I never regretted my decision. I wouldn't have had a 4th child purely because we had no room for one and would have had to get better jobs to afford a bigger house and a bigger car!
i have one child and Iād love another, it actually scares me thinking she may be alone if I donāt have another! I admire the good relationships between siblings when theyāre like best friends. Me and my sister arenāt extremely close but she has helped me out when I needed it most, I donāt know what I would have done without her when I gave birth to my daughter, she was always there to help with anything and everything.
I have two friends who have 1 child, theyāre both 7 and HATE being an only child. One of my friends had been trying for a baby and now sheās pregnant again and her daughter is so excited! My other friends son is always irritable where he gets bored so easily, he seems lonely at times and harder work than having two! Some people have said to me āIāve had twins and theyāre easier than one!ā I always think itās because theyāve entertained each other.
although everyone wants their child(ren) happy, at the end of the day you have to do what you want to do.
I understand wanting your child to have a sibling.
For me, loving being pregnant & finding newborns adorable wouldn't be enough to outweigh cons but everyone's different & has different driving forces behind their decision.
Out of the cons the only one I can see being a real con is no. 3 & feeling your child is already slotting in. That's the only one I'd give real thought. The others like weight can be changed & you'd adjust to your change in social life. These days I'd rather have a comfortable seat in a quiet room for 10 minutes than a fancy meal
It's a big decision & I'm sure you wouldn't regret having another.
For me, loving being pregnant & finding newborns adorable wouldn't be enough to outweigh cons but everyone's different & has different driving forces behind their decision.
Out of the cons the only one I can see being a real con is no. 3 & feeling your child is already slotting in. That's the only one I'd give real thought. The others like weight can be changed & you'd adjust to your change in social life. These days I'd rather have a comfortable seat in a quiet room for 10 minutes than a fancy meal
It's a big decision & I'm sure you wouldn't regret having another.
My oldest was a teenager when my youngest was born, so they were an only for a while. . ( I was a single parent for a few years so wasn't in the situation to have another child) I am an only child too, I have a very small family and do sometimes feel lonely, I see the bond my kids have and how they interact with each other, and that's something I'll never experience.
Both my parents have passed now ,l and dealing with their illness/death is quite a burden to go through alone.
Remember, babies are only little for a short while, although you will still be responsible for them til adulthood, they won't be little.
Don't think of live in terms of having more little ones , think of life a few years down the line with big kids/ adult children. See how that sways your decision. Whatever you choose, you just end up coping and getting on with it .
Both my parents have passed now ,l and dealing with their illness/death is quite a burden to go through alone.
Remember, babies are only little for a short while, although you will still be responsible for them til adulthood, they won't be little.
Don't think of live in terms of having more little ones , think of life a few years down the line with big kids/ adult children. See how that sways your decision. Whatever you choose, you just end up coping and getting on with it .
My husband is an only child and I have a sibling. My husband found it difficult as he struggled later in life mixing with school friends and work colleagues. He's nearly 50 and still struggles to mix. I enjoyed having a sibling as it meant I had someone to fight with growing up 
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We now have 3 children and its great as they all get along....just. Plus they all have each other when my husband and I aren't around.
My husband lost his mum a few years ago and he's estranged from his father, he finds it difficult when our kids get an achievement certificate or a good report, he has no one to tell as he has no other family.
.We now have 3 children and its great as they all get along....just. Plus they all have each other when my husband and I aren't around.
My husband lost his mum a few years ago and he's estranged from his father, he finds it difficult when our kids get an achievement certificate or a good report, he has no one to tell as he has no other family.
I see a lot of people who want another kid to "give their child a sibling". I have 3 siblings and we don't really get along. Also, I am not a sociable person at all and I find it very hard to make friends, so, as you can see, having siblings haven't helped me in this way. You may think you would like another baby so your child is happier, but perhaps they are jealous, don't get along or simply have a hard time accepting the new child. I'm not saying you shouldn't have another child, just that if you have it, have it because YOU want it, not because your child "may" be happier...
How does anyone know what to do in these situations? I lose sleep asking myself the same questions. I never know what is just down to hormones and what is a real heartfelt urge.
I always wanted 2, close enough in age to be little friends. Unfortunately it took us 7 years (for various reasons, including the loss of a baby) before we finally got our second. Now I still have this deep yearning for a third.
The cons are clear;
2 will have to share a room
My first will be nearly a teenager
I've had 10 years working part time and really should go back to shift some of this mortgage
Less cash, less holidays, etc
But I can't shake off that feeling. Does it go away, is it just hormones?
I always wanted 2, close enough in age to be little friends. Unfortunately it took us 7 years (for various reasons, including the loss of a baby) before we finally got our second. Now I still have this deep yearning for a third.
The cons are clear;
2 will have to share a room
My first will be nearly a teenager
I've had 10 years working part time and really should go back to shift some of this mortgage
Less cash, less holidays, etc
But I can't shake off that feeling. Does it go away, is it just hormones?
This sways me towards having more than one. Newborns and toddlers and even young kids are all-consuming, they will love you no matter what. When the kids get older and start pulling away from their parents I imagine that's when you might regret having only one. I have family friends with an only child. She rarely spends Christmas day with her parents and she may not have kids of her own, whilst they're desperate to be grandparents. They've put all their eggs in one basket. Writing that out, it sounds selfish, but the decision to have kids or not always involves personal considerations.
That does sound selfish. Do people really have more than one child to increase the chances of having grandchildren?! As an only child who got my tubes tied as soon as I could, I'm glad my parents (who I do spend Christmas with!!) don't think like that.
But my point is that selfish decisions always enter into our considerations whether or not to have kids. That's a good thing to be honest, a parent who thought of themselves as a selfless martyr to their children would be insufferable. I doubt people think in such black and white terms but something I've wondered is whether only children are more likely to have pressure (conscious or not) put on them because they are an only child - whether that's to visit at Christmas, to have children, or to care for elderly parents. That's one of the things to factor into the decision of whether to have more than one child, but it's certainly not the only thing.
If your bmi is over 40 as you say in the OP I would work on that first and go from there Two can be quite demanding!
Two can be quite demanding!