- Notice
Quite Contrary
VIP Member
This amazing reworking of We Don’t Talk About Bruno from @shifttea HAS to be saved here 
We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Mandy... but
It was my resting day
It was our resting day
We were getting sweaty, and there wasn't bubble in the bath
No bubbles allowed in the bath
Mandy walks in here to cook, and to clean-
Bubbles!!
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on
Mandy says, "you smell like shit"
Why did she tell us?
In doing so, she floods my brain
Joseph, get the febreze
Resting in a bubble bath
What a joyous day... but anyway
We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Mandy!
Hey! Grew to live in fear of Mandy polishing and buffing
I could always hear her sort of scrubbing and mopping
I associate her with the sound of falling dirt, ch-ch-ch
It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling
Always left dodgy Dave and the kids fumbling
Grappling with cleanliness they couldn't understand
Do you understand?
A five-foot frame
Sweat along her back
When she calls your name
It all fades to black
Yeah, she sees your sweaty sheen
And feasts on your screams (hey!)
We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!)
We don't talk about Mandy (we don't talk about Mandy!)
She told me my cat would run
The next day: gone! (No, no!)
She told me she found my fag butts!
And just like she said... (no, no!)
She said that all my hair dye would fade, now look at my roots (no, no! Hey!)
Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read!
She told me that the daughter of my dreams would be promised, and someday be mine
She told me that my following would grow, like the tomatoes that thrive on the vine
Óye, Jemma's on her way
She told me that the farm of my dreams would be just out of reach
Betrothed to a Hinch
It's like I hear her now
Hey sis, I want not a sound out of you (it's like I can hear her now)
I can hear her now
Um, Mandy...
Yeah, about that Mandy...
I really need to know about Mandy...
Gimmie the truth and the whole truth, Mandy
(Stacey, your sisters here)
Time for hello fresh!
A five-foot frame (it was my resting day, it was our resting day)
sweat along her back (we were getting sweaty)
When she calls your name (and there wasn't a bubble in the bath)
It all fades to black (no bubbles allowed in the bath!)
Yeah, she sees your dreams (Mandy walks in, here to cook, and to clean-)
And feasts on your screams (Bubbles!)
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on (óye, Jemma's on her way)
Mandy says, "you smell like shit" (a five-foot frame, sweat along her back)
In doing so, she floods my brain
Resting in a bubble bath
Shes here!
Don't talk about Mandy, no! (Why did I talk about Mandy?)
Not a word about Mandy
I never should've brought up Mandy!
We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Mandy... but
It was my resting day
It was our resting day
We were getting sweaty, and there wasn't bubble in the bath
No bubbles allowed in the bath
Mandy walks in here to cook, and to clean-
Bubbles!!
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on
Mandy says, "you smell like shit"
Why did she tell us?
In doing so, she floods my brain
Joseph, get the febreze
Resting in a bubble bath
What a joyous day... but anyway
We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Mandy!
Hey! Grew to live in fear of Mandy polishing and buffing
I could always hear her sort of scrubbing and mopping
I associate her with the sound of falling dirt, ch-ch-ch
It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling
Always left dodgy Dave and the kids fumbling
Grappling with cleanliness they couldn't understand
Do you understand?
A five-foot frame
Sweat along her back
When she calls your name
It all fades to black
Yeah, she sees your sweaty sheen
And feasts on your screams (hey!)
We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!)
We don't talk about Mandy (we don't talk about Mandy!)
She told me my cat would run
The next day: gone! (No, no!)
She told me she found my fag butts!
And just like she said... (no, no!)
She said that all my hair dye would fade, now look at my roots (no, no! Hey!)
Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read!
She told me that the daughter of my dreams would be promised, and someday be mine
She told me that my following would grow, like the tomatoes that thrive on the vine
Óye, Jemma's on her way
She told me that the farm of my dreams would be just out of reach
Betrothed to a Hinch
It's like I hear her now
Hey sis, I want not a sound out of you (it's like I can hear her now)
I can hear her now
Um, Mandy...
Yeah, about that Mandy...
I really need to know about Mandy...
Gimmie the truth and the whole truth, Mandy
(Stacey, your sisters here)
Time for hello fresh!
A five-foot frame (it was my resting day, it was our resting day)
sweat along her back (we were getting sweaty)
When she calls your name (and there wasn't a bubble in the bath)
It all fades to black (no bubbles allowed in the bath!)
Yeah, she sees your dreams (Mandy walks in, here to cook, and to clean-)
And feasts on your screams (Bubbles!)
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on (óye, Jemma's on her way)
Mandy says, "you smell like shit" (a five-foot frame, sweat along her back)
In doing so, she floods my brain
Resting in a bubble bath
Shes here!
Don't talk about Mandy, no! (Why did I talk about Mandy?)
Not a word about Mandy
I never should've brought up Mandy!
Cady1954
VIP Member
Saff? What did she win an award for? Taking her dying baby off pain meds for the gram? God knows what goes through these judges heads. These insta 'moms' (it pains me to write that cos I'm English) certainly set the bar low when it comes to parenting dont they?
Asparagus123
VIP Member
Wow she must need a lie down now 
She’s washed 3 PLATES
Pulled some washing which actually looked dry out of the machine
Got Mandy to hang it up no doubt and put two items of clothing away
Oh and she’s worrying about tumble drying when’s she’s going to be running a swimming pool
She’s washed 3 PLATES
Pulled some washing which actually looked dry out of the machine
Got Mandy to hang it up no doubt and put two items of clothing away
Oh and she’s worrying about tumble drying when’s she’s going to be running a swimming pool
DrMeredithGrey
VIP Member
Firstly - is it just me that feels really uncomfortable with things being repurposed?! I know it sounds strange, but I honestly couldn’t use shower gel from an old perfume bottle. It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. The whole process seems so unsterile. It’s not for me at all.
secondly - every time she does an appearance on tv and rose is seen/heard, I don’t think it gives the impression she thinks it does.
it doesn’t say ‘working mum, doing it all’ it says ‘unprofessional woman not giving her job her full attention as she cannot find suitable childcare’
It doesn’t do the men vs women in the workplace any good.
Especially seeing as Joe could easily have taken her.
secondly - every time she does an appearance on tv and rose is seen/heard, I don’t think it gives the impression she thinks it does.
it doesn’t say ‘working mum, doing it all’ it says ‘unprofessional woman not giving her job her full attention as she cannot find suitable childcare’
It doesn’t do the men vs women in the workplace any good.
Especially seeing as Joe could easily have taken her.
But this is Rosey Posey, Stacey Solomon’s child so surely she’s different? She must cheer you up, I mean look at her, she’s all in pink, with a dress that matches the wallpaper and that, er, thing, on her head and everything.
If you’re reading Stacey the answer is no, her little smiles do not help me escape the atrocities of the world for a moment. As she’s your child I’m sure she makes you very happy and you can escape away but, the sheep aside, I wouldn’t be assuming her smiling has that effect on the rest of the world so it’s probably best not to ask as you might not like the response you get!
dumdums83
VIP Member
Wow Stacey in April when most people are gonna be worrying about how to feed their family and how the fuck they are gonna afford their energy bills you are showing of the pool and boasting it will be up and ruining in the first month of the worst downfall in the cost of living crisis since the 70’s. oh to be that fucking clueless 
She’d probably get about twenty grand for ‘Pickle Cottage’ now with all her DIY efforts. She’s the only person I know who can put work into a house and actually devalue it.
Could you imagine if you went to view a house and you walked into that Jurassic bathroom; it’s a bloody health hazard! Walking into that en-suite and straight away it’s a dinosaur towel hook right in the eye, then whilst you’re reeling after being blinded from that you manage to stumble into the razor sharp edges of the ceramic bath steps.
To top it all after being slashed to shreds by them you might be lucky enough to topple into the other steps she’s cobbled together, which due to her ineptitude and lack of construction skill combined, are so heavy they’re impossible to move and so again perfect to cause injury.
You’d be found by the poor Estate Agent who, having left you to look around the house by yourself, got worried when you weren’t back after twenty minutes and rather than calling in a sale, they’d be calling a bloody ambulance!
Doodlebug71
VIP Member
People that think their kids are beautiful to strangers are just freaks,I dont find other peoples kids beautiful and adorable and definately not the Swalomon crotch fruits so aye
Bestlife@60
VIP Member
He
He is probobly covered in Natural oils so slid in easily!
TangledPrincess
New member
So she's getting a free kitchen then.. shocker. So relatable Stace most of us have to work for years to be able to afford one but you crack on love. It's laughable "I work with them" do you do you really ?You call work doing a few IG posts and gloating about your new "free" kitchen. Read 
the room
the roomLoopylou91
Active member
The don't use filters Dove campaign... supported by the woman who filtered her new born daughters eyes to be more blue.
Give it a rest Stinky.
Give it a rest Stinky.
Scragbags
VIP Member
I havent watched her thread for ages and it's been peaceful not having the knob in my life but had to come here when I see her doing stories about rising bill prices whilst the builders are outside sorting her SWIMMING POOL. It's just laughable.
Ok she could mention that people are having a hard time and here is some advice if you want to cut costs but to insinuate that she's going to struggle is what makes her so fake and insincere
Ok she could mention that people are having a hard time and here is some advice if you want to cut costs but to insinuate that she's going to struggle is what makes her so fake and insincere
QueenoftheBerkleyHunts
Member
Oh, Mandy
Well, you came
And you froze without thinking
But Joe sent you away
Oh, Mandy
Will you wash me
And stop me from stinking
I need you today
Oh, Mandy
Well, you came
And you froze without thinking
But Joe sent you away
Oh, Mandy
Will you wash me
And stop me from stinking
I need you today
Oh, Mandy
How can she not have time to go to a Wren shop/showroom? How?! 
She has literally spent the last two days dicking about with various things of little importance and telling the ‘gram how little motivation she has! It’s hardly being rushed off your feet and not able to get a minute to get away and sort pick your new, and for that matter free, kitchen. Still, you get the showroom brought to you Stace so you have to do little more then shuffle out your front door, as heaven forfend that you’d have to move a second more than you absolutely have to. Lazy mare! 
Now I know she’ll be like ‘it’s having this new job on Bake Off and having to be away from home’.
Fair enough she’s had to be out of the house for a few days on the trot, but it’s hardly at the coal face, twelve hour days of backbreaking graft is it? Then after two or three days in a swanky hotel (which some of us would see as a welcome treat!), no doubt being waited on hand and foot before having to go to ‘work’, which consists of walking around making inane comments and eating cake no doubt, she gets to come back home and tell us how she’s got no motivation again.
With this in mind then how has she not had time to visit a kitchen place? It’s beyond me! She also winds me up something chronic with this ‘I work with Wren’ bollocks. Really Stacey? Are you really? Popped to university or college to get a degree in design or perhaps training as a kitchen fitter? Or maybe you’re a qualified electrician or plumber and you’ve snuck the apprenticeships in whilst no one was looking. 
What’s that? You haven’t?! Quelle surprise! Perhaps the reality of it is you don’t work with them at all, you just have yourself a nice, new, shiny kitchen for nowt and tell people how wonderful Wren are in return! Work?! Pfffft, she wouldn’t know the meaning of the word!
She has literally spent the last two days dicking about with various things of little importance and telling the ‘gram how little motivation she has! It’s hardly being rushed off your feet and not able to get a minute to get away and sort pick your new, and for that matter free, kitchen. Still, you get the showroom brought to you Stace so you have to do little more then shuffle out your front door, as heaven forfend that you’d have to move a second more than you absolutely have to. Lazy mare! Now I know she’ll be like ‘it’s having this new job on Bake Off and having to be away from home’.
Fair enough she’s had to be out of the house for a few days on the trot, but it’s hardly at the coal face, twelve hour days of backbreaking graft is it? Then after two or three days in a swanky hotel (which some of us would see as a welcome treat!), no doubt being waited on hand and foot before having to go to ‘work’, which consists of walking around making inane comments and eating cake no doubt, she gets to come back home and tell us how she’s got no motivation again. With this in mind then how has she not had time to visit a kitchen place? It’s beyond me!
She also winds me up something chronic with this ‘I work with Wren’ bollocks. Really Stacey? Are you really? Popped to university or college to get a degree in design or perhaps training as a kitchen fitter? Or maybe you’re a qualified electrician or plumber and you’ve snuck the apprenticeships in whilst no one was looking. What’s that? You haven’t?! Quelle surprise! Perhaps the reality of it is you don’t work with them at all, you just have yourself a nice, new, shiny kitchen for nowt and tell people how wonderful Wren are in return! Work?! Pfffft, she wouldn’t know the meaning of the word!
Asparagus123
VIP Member
The annexe boys were told if they want more pot noddles they have to come outside and fake play football with their mum for 5 minutes
Now back to the annexe …
Now back to the annexe …