30 days no alcohol for me. I am not missing it. I am going to do at least 100 days. If not longer. Clothes are looser, although that wasn’t the reason for the break.
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Sorry I probably didn't explain very well it's not about my friends at all, they wouldn't care! It's more about how it makes me feel less socially anxious, it's a birthday for a friend but a lot of people I don't know are going and I realised that I may be depending on drinking for the way it helps you relax in those situations where I might feel awkward sober. I can still have fun sober, for example I go to gigs a lot and never drink and still always have a dance etc. It's more that I am quite shy with new people and I didn't realise I depended on alcohol to feel better in situations like that.
When I'm with people I'm comfortable with and know well I would feel fine not drinking.
Ah yeah, I see.
I understand well how alcohol can bolster your confidence...
If you haven't already, it's probably important for you to try and understand your triggers and/or what makes you feel anxious in these situations. If you can get to the bottom of that, then you can better work on ways to overcome it. Maybe not something to try and explore in time for this weekend so is it possible to stick with the people you know at the party?
Not middle aged spread. Turns out it was a wine belly. 37 days, I have definition in my waist.
I've lost 2 inches off my waist and over a stone in weight.
Some of that will be down to cycling more but I suspect a lot is down to the booze. It's getting expensive in trousers.
I stopped drinking about 4 years ago, coincided with a health kick but not the actual reason I stopped. I gave a load of my old rugby tops to my dad because they didn’t fit me anymore. I’ve spent a fortune replacing them all
Whatever size we are, there’s just something that feels better when your body gets back to what it wanted to be before all the booze and hangover food. I feel just right like I only ever dreamed of being in my (boozy and contraceptive pill filled!) 20s.
I'm in my mid 40s so I've got age and perimenopause working against me in terms of weight loss, but it's coming off pretty steadily and stuff like my resting heart rate and waist to hip ratio are all in their respective "very good" ranges.
Had to share this, don’t have anyone else who sees though this stuff as much as I do!
To me, this ad reads “Ha ha ha, I possibly cost an Uber driver a couple of days of their precarious gig-economy income because I was a drunk twit, lol”. Just me? Or is idiotic, presumably drunken behaviour because you’re on a ‘big night out’ being joked about like this in super poor taste?
Anyone else enjoying dry Feb?!
To me, this ad reads “Ha ha ha, I possibly cost an Uber driver a couple of days of their precarious gig-economy income because I was a drunk twit, lol”. Just me? Or is idiotic, presumably drunken behaviour because you’re on a ‘big night out’ being joked about like this in super poor taste?
Anyone else enjoying dry Feb?!
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51 days without booze. Not missing it so far but I have a few health issues diverting my attention. I don’t look glowy or rested despite better sleep and drinking loads more water. I don’t feel any better but that might be the health issues. I have lost a few pounds though.
Almost one month after having my baby and haven't touched a drink since I found out I was pregnant in June. I've a wedding on Saturday while I could absolutely have one or two (family wedding, I am bf but am pumping so I have spare milk) I actually have zero fomo on not drinking I'm actually looking forward to just being tired on Sunday and the thoughts of minding my baby with a groggy head isn't appealing to me. I hope this feeling lasts
Sorry you are having health issues. You’re in the tough stretch though! Keep going, at 100 days you’ll be feeling better from not drinking. Wishing you speedy recovery otherwise too.🤍
I am at that stage where I really want to stop, I definitely use it as a crutch, to block out grief and other family related stress. I think what keeps me stuck is that for most people life is rollercoaster of ups and downs and a lot of steady in between time. The downs don't last for ever. Without going into detail my down has lasted 10plus years and it won't change. If I explained further it would give away my identity. I feel very stuck between wanting to stop and just struggling to make the effort.. I'm lying awake becuase I drank wine earlier tonight. Chastising myself yet again. Why can't I recall how I feel now when I'm buying the bottle of wine. I feel so alone and such a failure. My circumstances has me feeling very removed from other people anyway as I have been dealt a difficult path. I put on the brave face and do all the things and that's exhausting and then I want a drink to release. I did stop in the run up to Christmas and felt great when I got to the 6 week mark. Stupidly had Christmas drinks and haven't been able to stop for more than 7 days since. I'm worried I have a problem that will spiral. Spoke to my partner about it and of course he thinks I'm OK. But I'm here awake instead of having a good night's sleep. Tomorrow will be a waste of a day becuase of lack of sleep and the anxiety that comes after just a couple of glasses. I find it hard to not finish a bottle when Its opened. Does anyone want to give me some tough love? I feel like I have a problem!
You sound like you are stuck in a situation you have no control over. Could you reframe the drinking as something you do have control over? It seems like you can give up, you did it for 6 weeks, and you know giving it up will give you better sleep and less anxiety. You are using it as a crutch, but the crutch isn’t such a crutch if it comes with all the negatives that it does. Think of it as expensive poison. Obviously I don’t know your circumstances but you have to get to a place where you treat yourself with kindness and do positive stuff to outweigh the negative. Is there counselling you can access? Drinking alcohol is not a kind thing to do to yourself. It adds nothing except perhaps a temporary release.
First of all you def don’t need anyone giving you tough love. It sounds like you are struggling with life stressors and have a pretty accurate idea about why you drink even when you don’t want to. Keep sitting with your ‘why’ and be curious about your drinking habits. Doing this at 5am after a drinking night is prob not the best time though. The guilt, anxiety and sense of failure are completely natural response of your body trying to deal with the alcohol you’ve consumed the night before.
Prof David Nutt has an excellent book about alcohol and what it does to us that I found invaluable in getting to understand the
facts without any judgement. If you were successful with taking an extended break from drinking before Xmas, you might want to commit to another few weeks without drinking and reevaluate your relationship with alcohol in the meantime. Whether you decide to stop completely or try and moderate in the future should be a well-considered choice which might take trial and error. Please be kind to yourself, you’ve got this.
If "tough love" worked, we'd all be perfect little paragons, right?
Alcohol is a highly addictive, toxic substance. Tough love doesn't work with dealing with brain chemistry that's been sent a bit wonky by a poison.
Try treating yourself with the loving compassion that you would use with a friend that came to you for support. Would you shout at them and call them names, or would you sit down with them and come up with a plan for support and encouragement?
There's some good stuff in the wiki for things like quit lit (@AlwaysSummer if the book you mentioned isn't listed, can you add it please?), podcasts and other support. See if any of those appeal.
Alcohol is a highly addictive, toxic substance. Tough love doesn't work with dealing with brain chemistry that's been sent a bit wonky by a poison.
Try treating yourself with the loving compassion that you would use with a friend that came to you for support. Would you shout at them and call them names, or would you sit down with them and come up with a plan for support and encouragement?
There's some good stuff in the wiki for things like quit lit (@AlwaysSummer if the book you mentioned isn't listed, can you add it please?), podcasts and other support. See if any of those appeal.
I agree, I feel absolutely fine today, if I drink at all I don't sleep through and the guilt eats me up. I find it hard to moderate, It's definitely habitual and a crutch, I'd be much better going for a walk for the release, i know this and yet I reach for a glass of wine. It annoys me so much because Im really practical and Im stubborn.. Im so annoyed that i dont have control over it. Pre life changing events i could take or leave a glass of wine and had no issues. Its been a very slow decline into feeling dependent and I want to kick it now.... It feels like a slippery slope that I need to really address now as my circumstances will not change. Thanks for the reply.
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Thank you, I appreciate the reply. I'm definitely hard on myself. I never drink the night before I work, I never drink beyond 1 bottle, never get black out drunk, I know I'm a really long way from rock bottom but I also know it's a crutch.. massive red flag waving in my face.. I want to accept that its not good for me now and not be in this hamster wheel another year down the line. It 100% exacerbates the anxiety and worry that surrounds my personal circumstances. I'm annoyed it has any hold over me.. I'm stubborn!!!
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Thank you. . This spoke to me! Its so right.. so much is out of my control.. I need to work on a shift in mindset.You sound like you are stuck in a situation you have no control over. Could you reframe the drinking as something you do have control over? It seems like you can give up, you did it for 6 weeks, and you know giving it up will give you better sleep and less anxiety. You are using it as a crutch, but the crutch isn’t such a crutch if it comes with all the negatives that it does. Think of it as expensive poison. Obviously I don’t know your circumstances but you have to get to a place where you treat yourself with kindness and do positive stuff to outweigh the negative. Is there counselling you can access? Drinking alcohol is not a kind thing to do to yourself. It adds nothing except perhaps a temporary release.
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I never had a dramatic rock bottom. Just a creeping realisation that even though the only symptom I was showing was bloat and being overweight, a bottle of wine every night wasn't good for me, that I was spending a fortune (thank you, budgeting app), and that I wasn't capable of moderating.
For me, quitting is the easy, lazy option, the only rule is not drinking today. There's no setting rules about "only drinking on special occasions" (and arguing with myself about whether an occasion is special enough, and suddenly Tuesday is a special occasion), or any of the myriad rules I came up with, and broke, and felt guilty for breaking.
Same, it’s WAY easier, more pleasurable and brings me great security just to be in the habit of saying ‘I don’t drink’ or even just ‘I’m not drinking’.
I think Annie Grace said regarding moderation, 99% is torture, 100% is easy.
I think Annie Grace said regarding moderation, 99% is torture, 100% is easy.
Oh hello Just found this lovely thread so popping in to say hello. Just had to look it up there as I haven't been counting (which I've surprised myself with!) but I'm 55 days booze free today. So much of what so many of you have written has resonated with me insofar as I needed to reassess my relationship with alcohol as well as wanting to lose weight. While never 'overdoing' it or getting tipsy I found that increasingly it has been a crutch in that "What a witch of a day" = wine and "Yay, what a great day, let's celebrate" = wine and while I'd never drink in excess of a bottle I'd find myself having the bottle when open. And being in my 40s, I've attributed my middle age spread to hormones which will not shift. My take on being 55 days of being alcohol free:
I don't feel my abstinence is permanent as I am quite conflicted about resuming. I have lots of fun things coming up like family holidays and celebrations and I still have the psychological association between booze + celebrations + fun and yet I feel reluctant to undo the myriad benefits that have presented themselves. I think I wanted to reframe my attitude to drinking and while I see this is happening, I'm not sure I want to say I'll never ever have another day without enjoying a nice cold drink on a summer's day again. Does anyone else feel like this?
Just found this lovely thread so popping in to say hello. Just had to look it up there as I haven't been counting (which I've surprised myself with!) but I'm 55 days booze free today. So much of what so many of you have written has resonated with me insofar as I needed to reassess my relationship with alcohol as well as wanting to lose weight. While never 'overdoing' it or getting tipsy I found that increasingly it has been a crutch in that "What a witch of a day" = wine and "Yay, what a great day, let's celebrate" = wine and while I'd never drink in excess of a bottle I'd find myself having the bottle when open. And being in my 40s, I've attributed my middle age spread to hormones which will not shift. My take on being 55 days of being alcohol free:- I've lost a stone and am absolutely delighted (and I attribute this only in part to alcohol. I know when I have a drink I'm like Henry VIII at a Tudor banquet and want all the snacks. I just hadn't realised how much! I simply eat very little calorific/snacky food now compared to what I used to
- My sleep is so much better
- I didn't realise I had so much low level hanxiety, this has improved enormously
- My complexion seems shinie
- The decision making over whether to have a drink or not has been removed.
- There are about a hundred more!
I don't feel my abstinence is permanent as I am quite conflicted about resuming. I have lots of fun things coming up like family holidays and celebrations and I still have the psychological association between booze + celebrations + fun and yet I feel reluctant to undo the myriad benefits that have presented themselves. I think I wanted to reframe my attitude to drinking and while I see this is happening, I'm not sure I want to say I'll never ever have another day without enjoying a nice cold drink on a summer's day again. Does anyone else feel like this?