If we're doing thread title nominations here then this is mine
If we're doing thread title nominations here then this is mineFantastic slop slinging all!! @IcanSpellBéchamel valiant effort making that look presentable. You can't polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
*prattles on about utter pretentious shite* “To cut a slightly rubbish story short”I found this version on the website
5 minute thing with Tom Cruise Dressing*, 60p
One afternoon in the all-hours flail-and-flurry that was this-glorious-top-secret-for-now-project, I emerged from my writing corner (apologies to Virginia Woolf for not managing an entire ‘room of …cookingonabootstrap.com
Excellent work, tender one.Tattlers! Whilst baby mini ninny is gently sleeping, and rain has left us housebound, me and my OH went on a culinary adventure of the Crappucino. Here’s how it went!
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we had no whole milk and using SBs oat milk felt wasteful, so semi skimmed it was. I don’t think it would have made a difference. The “recipe” says to add oats, then ice, milk, coffee & sugar - I used a full tablespoon of each - why not just say “put all ingredients in and blend”? This was the blended result:
View attachment 1706260
I did not need to add water to loosen it as the recipe suggested I might.
How did it taste? Dire. A full tablespoon of coffee is too much, it was incredibly bitter even with the tablespoon of sugar, it gave me a headache. It was the texture that really made it awful though, I blended it for the few seconds suggested and then did a few more for good measure, but the oat lumps remained. I don’t know what everyone else looks for in an iced coffee, but I’m not after grainy oat lumps. I think the only possible use for this drink would be as a pre-colonoscopy cleanse? OH said he would give it minus points if he could, we’re having cups of tea now instead.
Total cost: 0p as I had all the ingredients in already and therefore do not have to include the cost in my performative weekly shop.
Marks out of 5: 1/5, better as a drain unblocker or if you want to give yourself a headache for some reason.
So petty, wanting what you paid for.People come for recipes not petty spats. Quite. Now apply that logic to your twitter
*apologies not slop related
Go well, dear heart.Owing to a lack of fresh mint in half of the big four, I’m going for Jack’s winter pesto.
Thyme, rosemary and parsley pesto will be coming up tomorrow.
LAZARUS PESTO
Yesterday, we had a large black bunch of mint in the fridge, some sticky soggy parsley and a clump of basil that had seen better days. Add to that a hard rind of cheese and you can see why everyone…cookingonabootstrap.com
This is going to be terrible. It's going to be like something you use as a medicinal poultice to draw out boils. I just know it. Go well dearheart.Owing to a lack of fresh mint in half of the big four, I’m going for Jack’s winter pesto.
Thyme, rosemary and parsley pesto will be coming up tomorrow.
LAZARUS PESTO
Yesterday, we had a large black bunch of mint in the fridge, some sticky soggy parsley and a clump of basil that had seen better days. Add to that a hard rind of cheese and you can see why everyone…cookingonabootstrap.com
No idea, tender one. But pay particular attention to your ovaries, for I can see the ingredients are:Also, can someone put me out of my misery and tell me what 'Worts' is/are? It's a recipe in the soup section of Cooking on a Bootstrap. Thankyou x
Oooh yes. A combination that will get my peri menopausal ovaries groaning for sure.No idea, tender one. But pay particular attention to your ovaries, for I can see the ingredients are:
- onions
- chilli flakes
- chicken stock cubes
- porridge oats
- frozen spinach
My ex husband’s mum wasn’t much of a drinker and was gifted a bottle of Baileys one Christmas. She didn’t know how to drink it and so she mixed it with lemonade and it looked like a curdled brain.Excellent work, tender one.
Jack… no one wants lumps in a drink. I was once given a ‘brain haemorrhage’ in a bar, which I believe was Baileys mixed with cherry liqueur (the Baileys made the cherry liqueur curdle), and I imagine the Crapuccino to have a similar texture.
Well, it's not my place to judge dear heart, but might we give some small credit to your using bicarb which is three (3) and a half years out-of-date? A kindred frau if e'er there was.Lads, I did it. I made the soda bread.
Soda Bread, 7p [VG/V/DF]
This is an ideal bread recipe for newcomers, no fancy equipment needed and the bare bones of a recipe. I tricked Mrs J into making this last week; she who famously doesn’t cook but hovers hel…cookingonabootstrap.com
I already had the ingredients, apologies for the slightly spenny ‘organic’ flour and milk (organic is a word that is not in Jack’s lexicon, I feel).
View attachment 1706815My only complaints were that she way overestimated the amount of milk/lemon juice mixture by almost a third, which meant I threw some away. Not thrift approved behaviour. Also, I missed the part where it said you could add salt for more flavour because it was buried in the purple prose that preceded the recipe and frankly, when I’m making food it’s because I’m interested in food not your fucking life story.
Anyway, the dough came together ok. All going surprisingly well so far.
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Exactly 40 minutes later, it came out of the oven looking not too bad. I was planning my unbelievably controversial mea culpa, ready to hold my hands up and admit it wasn’t at all bad.
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BUT THEN…I caught a whiff of lingering honk! The loaf smelled like fish. I bravely ploughed on and cut into it (not easy, it’s pretty solid) and I tasted it. If it weren’t for the weird fishy taste, it would have had all the taste of thin air on sliced cardboard. Diabolical. Clever Fraus, was the honk the result of too much bicarb, on top of SR flour? Not that it really matters, even if the taste was ok it had the consistency of a brick. Thankfully, I gave some to the various animals I have, so it wasn’t entirely wasted but I would be furious if I had to bin it.
For anyone thinking of trying this, please save your time and money. I’ve taken one for the team so you don’t have to. Go well x
This thread will be what finally kills me I swear. Do not read Tattle whilst inhaling a vape!Well, it's not my place to judge dear heart, but might we give some small credit to your using bicarb which is three (3) and a half years out-of-date? A kindred frau if e'er there was.
ETA: this is not snark. My 2017 is performing perfectly. Just not with Jackipes.
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