Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

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IcanSpellBéchamel

There’s no cream in carbonara! This is the hill I will die on. It’s egg yolks, pecorino, pasta, guanciale/pancetta and black pepper and nothing else. FFS.
 
Reactions: 51

Valiofthedolls

IcanSpellBéchamel said:
There’s no cream in carbonara! This is the hill I will die on. It’s egg yolks, pecorino, pasta, guanciale/pancetta and black pepper and nothing else. FFS.
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There’s spinach in every one of hers I’ve seen too, chucked into the pasta water at the end.

GRIM! I just saw this in her vinegar and soda water recipe. ”come over all Gillian McKeith on you…”
Jack, I can safely say that NOBODY wants you to do that on them.

ETA thank space you for the carbonara dear @Notmycat interestingly parts of that are verbatim for the one she makes pumpkin Rob too.
 
Reactions: 21
S

SnowyCal

SWEET JESUS!!!!

I have never watched this before but that sauce 🫣 no wonder she never got asked back really, Matt had to keep prompting her about different things you could use
 
Reactions: 27

House of Carbonara

Notmycat said:
@Valiofthedolls come to bed carbonara

Bonus pic of Jack from the book
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ROSEMARY????? Where to even start, ffs.
Rosemary. Does. Not. Belong. In. Pasta. Unless you are a barbarian with no taste or understanding.

Ew ew ew.
Forgot to add yesterday that, same as her instructions for the shortcrust pastry, if she had kneaded the scones 'for a few minutes' she could have used them as hockey pucks. Thrifty!

She's never made either, the liar.
 
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Reactions: 28

VeniVidiVicki

That vindaloo recipe

One large aubergine and 100g of lentils - serves 2-4? Are her friends playmobil people.

Also I’d like to know where the 6 mile run fits in with the terrible arthritis diagnosis timeline.
 
Reactions: 40

House of Carbonara

I shall be attempting the t*atbreads later on today, dear heart. Let's see if I am clever enough to follow the instructions.
 
Reactions: 17

veronica71

Half way through this thread an absolutely loving the commitment of the Fraus - more it seems than the effort Jack put into a lot of these recipes

I’m laughing at her reading this knowing she can’t reply criticise it as she’ll draw peoples attention to it and all you’re doing is making her recipes to the letter
 
Reactions: 31
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OpalMushroom

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but I’m a bit behind on this thread - has the ‘headrush spaghetti’ been attempted yet? I would do it myself, but it’s a non vegan recipe and I‘m not sure about veganising it.
 
Reactions: 12

HaveTinCanRattle

LJC, would somebody please SLOP SOMETHING?
I've been waiting for literally days now for shitty hand tats and can only assume that you want me to DIE.

Some of you aren't doing 100 hr weeks and it SHOWS. Do you have lives or summat?
 
Reactions: 43

Bugger13

SmolWarrior said:
@Notmycat dear heart would you mind sharing the recipe for the banana, tea and chickpea curry from A Year in 120 Recipes? I am interested in seeing if it was tweaked when it went into the book. Thank(space)you x
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This thread is nuts. Anywhere else you’d assume banana, tea & chickpea curry was a piss take but I’m never actually sure when it’s Jack.
 
Reactions: 32

definitelynotvlad

Tattlers! Whilst baby mini ninny is gently sleeping, and rain has left us housebound, me and my OH went on a culinary adventure of the Crappucino. Here’s how it went!

we had no whole milk and using SBs oat milk felt wasteful, so semi skimmed it was. I don’t think it would have made a difference. The “recipe” says to add oats, then ice, milk, coffee & sugar - I used a full tablespoon of each - why not just say “put all ingredients in and blend”? This was the blended result:


I did not need to add water to loosen it as the recipe suggested I might.
How did it taste? Dire. A full tablespoon of coffee is too much, it was incredibly bitter even with the tablespoon of sugar, it gave me a headache. It was the texture that really made it awful though, I blended it for the few seconds suggested and then did a few more for good measure, but the oat lumps remained. I don’t know what everyone else looks for in an iced coffee, but I’m not after grainy oat lumps. I think the only possible use for this drink would be as a pre-colonoscopy cleanse? OH said he would give it minus points if he could, we’re having cups of tea now instead.
Total cost: 0p as I had all the ingredients in already and therefore do not have to include the cost in my performative weekly shop.
Marks out of 5: 1/5, better as a drain unblocker or if you want to give yourself a headache for some reason.
 
Reactions: 105

Smol Pixel

Was just explaining the slopalong to my 10yo daughter and showed her some of the recipes. “Her house probably smells disgusting after making all of those things!”

Out of the mouths of babes
 
Reactions: 42
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