Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

[Walkdengirl]

Best of luck

For the love of god, if you do make the bread and your kitchen is chilly use the Nancy Birtwhistle way of proving your dough, that is pop a small mug of water in the microwave, heat for a minute or two until it's boiled and the microwave is nice and steamy and warm then add your bread dough, it's acts an an improvised proving drawer.

Do not under any circumstances put dry tea towels in the microwave and then heat then (unless dampened) otherwise you are quite likely going to be dealing with a fire and that awful bread will be the least of your worries, also bread without salt tastes disgusting, and the salt is added not only for flavour but also to inhibit the action of the yeast .

When microwaves first became common in the 80s there were quite a few fires because people used to dry their underwear in them, it was recommended as a top tip to help kill the yeast that caused thrush, in the end the fire brigade had to issue a warning to tell people not to do this. Our smol pixie should know this what with her previous job and all.

 

[Falkor]

My mother was a nursery school teacher and when we first got a microwave she brought her entire class's papier mache models home and put them through the microwave in batches over the weekend to dry them out for Monday. Unfortunately by the time she was doing the last ones on Sunday evening they'd dried out a fair bit and she didn't adjust the cooking time, with predictable effects. Dad was unimpressed, having spent a couple of hundred quid on the thing.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Why buy salted nuts, only to have to soak and rinse them? (Presumably to get rid of the salt??)
She must be aware that unsalted nuts are also available?
Mind you, doesn't she also have a recipe that involves rinsing the sauce from spaghetti hoops?

Don't forget the recipes for making baked beans from a can of baked beans, or the tomato soup recipe from a can of tomato soup. Or the refreshing fruit drink from a can of fruit.

 

[Nonah]

I’m having to postpone my beringue endeavours for a few days. Hopefully then my (SEVERE) period pains will have gone away.

 

[Billybellend]

I’m having to postpone my beringue endeavours for a few days. Hopefully then my (SEVERE) period pains will have gone away.

Ah I’m sorry to hear that Nonah. Eldest female B is an absolute martyr to hers and it’s awful to see her in such pain. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Nonah]

Ah I’m sorry to hear that Nonah. Eldest female B is an absolute martyr to hers and it’s awful to see her in such pain. Hope you feel better soon.

I’ve had two in three weeks. Most unfair.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’ve had two in three weeks. Most unfair.

Rude.

 

[MistyWindows]

I’m sorry about the delay, I will be making gross soaked peanut bread and blended chicken soon! (Believe it or not that isn’t sarcasm)
Had a stressful few weeks, but my promise is following me around, even Ocado is taking the piss.

Please stay tuned.

 

[Billybellend]

Good luck, tenderstem…my stomach churned just reading that. What recipe is this monstrous sounding thing meant to resemble?

 

[MistyWindows]

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

View attachment 3440993

godspeed.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

View attachment 3440993

You . . . you don't have dependent children, do you? Only - have you made a will?

 

[MistyWindows]

You . . . you don't have dependent children, do you? Only - have you made a will?

Good point:

Sell all my tat treasured belongings in a house sale, half the profits go to my dog and two cats, and you guys can use the other half to sue guest.
Proceeds from this trial of the century can be split between you lot and any charity that isn’t the Trussell b Trust.

Anyway, don’t wait up as I’ll be delivering the results even later than Jack does to get constituents. This bread recipe is giving me rage

 

[Notmycat]

Good point:

Sell all my tat treasured belongings in a house sale, half the profits go to my dog and two cats, and you guys can use the other half to sue guest.
Proceeds from this trial of the century can be split between you lot and any charity that isn’t the Trussell b Trust.

Anyway, don’t wait up as I’ll be delivering the results even later than Jack does to get constituents. This bread recipe is giving me rage

Thankyou for all you do dearheart

 

[Darvos]

For the love of god, if you do make the bread and your kitchen is chilly use the Nancy Birtwhistle way of proving your dough, that is pop a small mug of water in the microwave, heat for a minute or two until it's boiled and the microwave is nice and steamy and warm then add your bread dough, it's acts an an improvised proving drawer.

Do not under any circumstances put dry tea towels in the microwave and then heat then (unless dampened) otherwise you are quite likely going to be dealing with a fire and that awful bread will be the least of your worries, also bread without salt tastes disgusting, and the salt is added not only for flavour but also to inhibit the action of the yeast .

When microwaves first became common in the 80s there were quite a few fires because people used to dry their underwear in them, it was recommended as a top tip to help kill the yeast that caused thrush, in the end the fire brigade had to issue a warning to tell people not to do this. Our smol pixie should know this what with her previous job and all.

Alternatively, place your proving whatever dough in a warmed tumble dryer drum but do not get distracted and press start, which I might have have not done, because it would’ve been as daft as using tumble dryer water to wash floors or somesuch rit.

 

[MistyWindows]

I hope this works.
Please bear with me, but in summery it tastes overwhelmingly of gross peanuts, with notes of Wholemeal bread.
It has no structural integrity, so cutting and buttering isn’t easy and it makes your mouth and throat feel claggy and dry. Drinking water doesn’t seem to ease this side effect.
Maybe the blended chicken will improve the eating.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Maybe the blended chicken will improve the eating.

I truly admire your optimism, tenderwindows, but I fear you are doomed to disappointment.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I to.d you the soaking makes peanuts gross! That damn charlatan has never eaten her own slop.

 

[Blurp]

I to.d you the soaking makes peanuts gross! That damn charlatan has never eaten her own slop.

Why not just eat bread with peanut butter?

Actually, can you add peanut butter in the bread dough?

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I hope this works.
Please bear with me, but in summery it tastes overwhelmingly of gross peanuts, with notes of Wholemeal bread.
It has no structural integrity, so cutting and buttering isn’t easy and it makes your mouth and throat feel claggy and dry. Drinking water doesn’t seem to ease this side effect.
Maybe the blended chicken will improve the eating.

WHAT'S THIS!?!?!?!?!?!

Those fingernails are CLEAN!

So are your hands!

How do you expect to get the full slopalong flavour if you insist on maintaining decent standards of hygiene? You have made a travesty of the slopalong!


Maybe the blended chicken will improve the eating.

I would not put money on that . . .