Good afternoon one and all!
I made the ‘Cakey Goodness Bread’ from Cooking on a Bootstrap (NOT shoestring) and the ‘Chicken Butter’ from Good Food for Bad Days.
So, the long and boring tale of this Slopalong includes me getting all the ingredients from my usual ‘big Sainsbury’s’ (that I drive to), then realising I had forgotten peanuts, so I got them from my rubbish and higher priced local Tesco (I live in the city centre, seriously though the ‘local Tesco’ shops hiking up prices can eat a pumple).
However, I based the costings on said ‘usual shop’, which is very fair of me tbf.
Wholemeal plain flour was something I would never usually buy (and was pretty expensive), guest lists it as just that with no mention of it being bread flour. The recipe uses plain white flour, not bread, which I was sceptical about.
I considered using Wholemeal bread flour, as I felt like that would give this recipe a fighting chance, but then thought that I probably shouldn’t be trying to help guest out, as crappy councils are somewhat of a sore subject to me currently.
So, duck you Jack, no dice.
Anyway, I did have most of the ingredients in, although I got new yeast as I realised mine was expired, but I don’t feel generous about costing, so based it all on the cheapest you can get from Sainsbury’s as the big shop Ihike drive to for most of my groceries, as opposed to skipping that for stuff I had in, other than salt.
The first step of ridding salted peanuts of their saltiness ended up taking longer than I thought.
Incidentally, I did think I could buy unsalted peanuts on the cheap locally as my area is very multicultural, so raw ingredients can be bought in bulk for a really good price, but salted peanuts from supermarkets like Tesco are cheaper as it turns out. So fair enough there guest (why they’re in this recipe at all remains to be seen)
I soaked them for half an hour, before rinsing them thoroughly as instructed.
But, thing is, peanuts are greasy, they excrete grease, so drying them proved tricky, as I was trying to go by the recipes instructions which called for them to be dry.
“How dry?” You may ask, WFK. But soggy peanuts do not a dry do.
Blending them actually went better than I thought, thank god. Looks clumpy here but it broke up easily (like my ex haaaaaa)
I went on to add dry ingredients, including the salt I’d just spent an hour pouring down the drain.
(Sorry about the manky card, I haven't used my Superdrug card sinceI found out I should just shoplift I was about 17).
I had to make a well. I’m a guttersnipe and don’t know what this means… luckily Jack specified it’s a kind of hole.
Lyyyyyykkke a fan m’lord?
I poured warm water and oil into my fan (as usual)
The dough was so unworkable, and I can say wholeheartedly I really did try.
The recipe says to knead for ‘a few minutes’ and I tell you fraus, I did this with all my might for at least fifteen minutes before I ended up with this:
It was so dense and stiff (like my ex haaaaaa) and really hard to knead.
She says you should be able to poke a hole in it and see it spring back.
It didn’t do this, even after a lot of kneading, it was the texture of slightly dry salt dough.
I could actually make a sad face in it.
I was done with trying harder than guest ever has in her life, so used @Walkdengirl ‘s recommended method of proving, as my whole flat is colder than a witch’s tit.
In the wretched thing went, and the method did seem to work really well! I’ll be using it in the future, so thank you Tenderheart.
The rise was much better than I was expecting.
Although it must be said, if I had gone full throttle and used guest’s suggested method I might have set my flat on fire.
I had to apparently cut it once down the middle, with a deep cm cut, I’ve never done with bread before.
I thought it would probably end up looking like a vag, that was optimistic.
Yeah… prolapse.
At this point it did actually smell quite nice, and was hollow to a thumping after the recommended 40 minutes, so I was uncharacteristically hopeful.
Seems cooked!
Thing is, I can’t really show you this through photos, it was awful.
Cakey, it certainly was not.
It was brittle, crumbled everywhere as soon as you touched it. it was so dense, as soon as you pinched it, it was like soggy dough again (I’ve seen enough Great British Bake Off to know that’s not good), it’s very crunchy too.
How on earth this is meant to resemble soft cake and/or bread I don’t know.
Initial taste is just this awful, overwhelming bitterness (like my ex haaaaa) and then you get hints of Wholemeal bread, then gross bitterness again.
It also stinks, I had to chuck it straight in the outside bin because it was turning my stomach, after I ate a couple of slices my whole mouth was claggy and dry. It felt very uncomfortable and I was drinking lime cordial and sparkling water glass after glass, I still felt like I could feel and taste the bread in my mouth hours later.
I’ll post the other half of this, including ratings later, but I have to say somehow this bread was more disgusting than the blended chicken I made.
Please give me a chance to compose myself, then I’ll post the other half of this xxx
I made the ‘Cakey Goodness Bread’ from Cooking on a Bootstrap (NOT shoestring) and the ‘Chicken Butter’ from Good Food for Bad Days.
So, the long and boring tale of this Slopalong includes me getting all the ingredients from my usual ‘big Sainsbury’s’ (that I drive to), then realising I had forgotten peanuts, so I got them from my rubbish and higher priced local Tesco (I live in the city centre, seriously though the ‘local Tesco’ shops hiking up prices can eat a pumple).
However, I based the costings on said ‘usual shop’, which is very fair of me tbf.
Wholemeal plain flour was something I would never usually buy (and was pretty expensive), guest lists it as just that with no mention of it being bread flour. The recipe uses plain white flour, not bread, which I was sceptical about.
I considered using Wholemeal bread flour, as I felt like that would give this recipe a fighting chance, but then thought that I probably shouldn’t be trying to help guest out, as crappy councils are somewhat of a sore subject to me currently.
So, duck you Jack, no dice.
Anyway, I did have most of the ingredients in, although I got new yeast as I realised mine was expired, but I don’t feel generous about costing, so based it all on the cheapest you can get from Sainsbury’s as the big shop I
The first step of ridding salted peanuts of their saltiness ended up taking longer than I thought.
Incidentally, I did think I could buy unsalted peanuts on the cheap locally as my area is very multicultural, so raw ingredients can be bought in bulk for a really good price, but salted peanuts from supermarkets like Tesco are cheaper as it turns out. So fair enough there guest (why they’re in this recipe at all remains to be seen)
I soaked them for half an hour, before rinsing them thoroughly as instructed.
But, thing is, peanuts are greasy, they excrete grease, so drying them proved tricky, as I was trying to go by the recipes instructions which called for them to be dry.
“How dry?” You may ask, WFK. But soggy peanuts do not a dry do.
Blending them actually went better than I thought, thank god. Looks clumpy here but it broke up easily (like my ex haaaaaa)
I went on to add dry ingredients, including the salt I’d just spent an hour pouring down the drain.
(Sorry about the manky card, I haven't used my Superdrug card since
I had to make a well. I’m a guttersnipe and don’t know what this means… luckily Jack specified it’s a kind of hole.
Lyyyyyykkke a fan m’lord?
I poured warm water and oil into my fan (as usual)
The dough was so unworkable, and I can say wholeheartedly I really did try.
The recipe says to knead for ‘a few minutes’ and I tell you fraus, I did this with all my might for at least fifteen minutes before I ended up with this:
It was so dense and stiff (like my ex haaaaaa) and really hard to knead.
She says you should be able to poke a hole in it and see it spring back.
It didn’t do this, even after a lot of kneading, it was the texture of slightly dry salt dough.
I could actually make a sad face in it.
I was done with trying harder than guest ever has in her life, so used @Walkdengirl ‘s recommended method of proving, as my whole flat is colder than a witch’s tit.
In the wretched thing went, and the method did seem to work really well! I’ll be using it in the future, so thank you Tenderheart.
The rise was much better than I was expecting.
Although it must be said, if I had gone full throttle and used guest’s suggested method I might have set my flat on fire.
I had to apparently cut it once down the middle, with a deep cm cut, I’ve never done with bread before.
I thought it would probably end up looking like a vag, that was optimistic.
Yeah… prolapse.
At this point it did actually smell quite nice, and was hollow to a thumping after the recommended 40 minutes, so I was uncharacteristically hopeful.
Seems cooked!
Thing is, I can’t really show you this through photos, it was awful.
Cakey, it certainly was not.
It was brittle, crumbled everywhere as soon as you touched it. it was so dense, as soon as you pinched it, it was like soggy dough again (I’ve seen enough Great British Bake Off to know that’s not good), it’s very crunchy too.
How on earth this is meant to resemble soft cake and/or bread I don’t know.
Initial taste is just this awful, overwhelming bitterness (like my ex haaaaa) and then you get hints of Wholemeal bread, then gross bitterness again.
It also stinks, I had to chuck it straight in the outside bin because it was turning my stomach, after I ate a couple of slices my whole mouth was claggy and dry. It felt very uncomfortable and I was drinking lime cordial and sparkling water glass after glass, I still felt like I could feel and taste the bread in my mouth hours later.
I’ll post the other half of this, including ratings later, but I have to say somehow this bread was more disgusting than the blended chicken I made.
Please give me a chance to compose myself, then I’ll post the other half of this xxx
Last edited by a moderator:
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I was making jambalaya anyway, which I like using cooked chicken for, so only used one thigh piece for this recipe.
