Oh I do too! MerrilyI did not know that. And I will happily eat uncooked cake batter
Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans
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Not to discourage any of the good Slopalong energy, but this recipe has pork in it. Taking partially cooked pork out of the oven and leaving it to cool for a while - no, I don't believe Jack's claims that it will continue to cook inside the dressing gown - can be really dangerous. https://www.webmd.com/diet/is-it-safe-to-eat-rare-porkHas anyone tried the Energy Saving Cassoulet yet?
Jack Monroeās energy-saving cassoulet ā recipe
Slow-cooked dishes donāt need to sit on the hob or in the oven for hours. After a short blast of heat, they can be tightly wrapped in a towel and left to carry on cooking at no costwww.theguardian.com
I was going to make something sausage-stew related this weekend anyway, and am fully prepared to wrap up a casserole dish in my dressing gown as part of the cooking process. In the interests of THE SLOPALONG, and of SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.
There is a thing called a Hay Box, an ancient method of cookery, where the cooking pot is heated up to boiling point, then put in a box thickly insulated with hay for several hours to finish cooking in that extremely well insulated environment, they were still doing it in rural places during WW2 to save on fuel and it seemed to work okay.
I 100% agree that a dressing gown is not a hay box though, and it's insulating properties will be nowhere near as good..
Nevertheless, I am going to do it. But I am going to do it WITH SCIENCE.
I have a Digital Thermometer Probe and am going to pop the probe into the casserole dish and monitor the ongoing temperature over the next couple of hours. I might even plot it on a graph. And will only taste it if the pork sausage has hit 75C for at least 10 minutes, I have no desire for my obituary to read "Lostcat died of e coli in the pursuit of internet hilarity".
I have other concerns about the recipe for the Sausage & Bean Cassoulet regarding the cooking/cooling/recooking of the sausages, and the reheating of them for leftovers, but will go into that once I've made the darn thing on Sunday.
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My partner has for so long struggled to understand why I have such a problem with Jack Monroe despite my ranting and raving (I think she just doesnāt listen to me in all honesty) but the slopalong has been an absolute revelation to her - chapeau ninnies! She even gets into bed at night and asks āany new slops today?!ā (I know, I know, really sexy pillow talk). She totally gets NOW why I think JM is a fraud. However, she has just caught me intently watching a mug spin round in an internet strangerās microwave and I think she thinks Iāve fully lost it. This thread is GENIUS, thanks guys 
This thread is GENIUS, thanks guys 
Happy to be of service and properly laughing out loud.My partner has for so long struggled to understand why I have such a problem with Jack Monroe despite my ranting and raving (I think she just doesnāt listen to me in all honesty) but the slopalong has been an absolute revelation to her - chapeau ninnies! She even gets into bed at night and asks āany new slops today?!ā (I know, I know, really sexy pillow talk). She totally gets NOW why I think JM is a fraud. However, she has just caught me intently watching a mug spin round in an internet strangerās microwave and I think she thinks Iāve fully lost it.
Microwave mini egg snow balls hot chocolate
Part 1
Substitution of mini eggs with snow balls suggested by @Lostcat, merci x
It calls for 8 mini eggs at 3.3g each so 26.4g
The snow balls are 3.9g each so 7 does the trick, but what's 1 snow ball between friends
Thesej1g msg scales are really handy
When I was banging on about 200ml not being a proper mug here's the proof, mug on the left is a bog standard size, it ain't full. My proper hot choccy mug on the right is about half full
It says microwave the milk (200ml) and mini eggs for 60 seconds on half power, stir then repeat thrice more.
As predicted it was just warm so I put it on high for another minute.
Finished article including 'bits' left over, they were mushy rather than hard shell pieces left and weren't keen on dissolving. I assume mini eggs would be similar.
The drink itself is another 3 - middle class, but it's not as good as the peanut butter hot chocolate version. Again can't call it terrible despite not enough heating time.
I had enough milk and snow balls to make a second batch to fill my big mug so "dangerously doubled" up.
Not sure I would choose to do it this way again, between the two recipes I would probably go for 300ml milk, 100ml water with 6+ squares and a tbsp peanut butter.
But I have had some nefarious ideas with other chocolates, watch this space
Part 1
Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans
Oh lordy are you all in for a treat. I didn't make this for my lunch as I thought I would be kind and involve my 13 year old, Miss Heastlanda (MH). All photography by her. 1. The ingredients. I had everything in stock except for the chocolate. Switched the malt vinegar for red wine vinegar...
tattle.life
It calls for 8 mini eggs at 3.3g each so 26.4g
The snow balls are 3.9g each so 7 does the trick, but what's 1 snow ball between friends
These
When I was banging on about 200ml not being a proper mug here's the proof, mug on the left is a bog standard size, it ain't full. My proper hot choccy mug on the right is about half full
It says microwave the milk (200ml) and mini eggs for 60 seconds on half power, stir then repeat thrice more.
As predicted it was just warm so I put it on high for another minute.
Finished article including 'bits' left over, they were mushy rather than hard shell pieces left and weren't keen on dissolving. I assume mini eggs would be similar.
The drink itself is another 3 - middle class, but it's not as good as the peanut butter hot chocolate version. Again can't call it terrible despite not enough heating time.
I had enough milk and snow balls to make a second batch to fill my big mug so "dangerously doubled" up.
Not sure I would choose to do it this way again, between the two recipes I would probably go for 300ml milk, 100ml water with 6+ squares and a tbsp peanut butter.
But I have had some nefarious ideas with other chocolates, watch this space
I can imagine nefarious Pro life groups pinching that last photo for propaganda.
Good morning all, donation made today, on pay day as promised. Turns out all the food banks near me are Trussell so I donated to a local homelessness charity instead, because duck Trussell and their JM enabling. Thereās the spirit!
Thanks for all you do, sloppers.
Thanks for all you do, sloppers.
Attachments
So basically the majority of her cake/sauce based recipes then, She never cooks the flour hence her sauce never thickens
I saw this and thought of you slop goblins
Today is pizza dough day
Today is pizza dough day
I have mug envyMicrowavemini eggsnow balls hot chocolate
Part 1
Substitution of mini eggs with snow balls suggested by @Lostcat, merci xSlopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans
Oh lordy are you all in for a treat. I didn't make this for my lunch as I thought I would be kind and involve my 13 year old, Miss Heastlanda (MH). All photography by her. 1. The ingredients. I had everything in stock except for the chocolate. Switched the malt vinegar for red wine vinegar...tattle.life
It calls for 8 mini eggs at 3.3g each so 26.4g
The snow balls are 3.9g each so 7 does the trick, but what's 1 snow ball between friends
Thesej1gmsg scales are really handy
View attachment 1739088
View attachment 1739089
When I was banging on about 200ml not being a proper mug here's the proof, mug on the left is a bog standard size, it ain't full. My proper hot choccy mug on the right is about half full
View attachment 1739090View attachment 1739091
It says microwave the milk (200ml) and mini eggs for 60 seconds on half power, stir then repeat thrice more.
As predicted it was just warm so I put it on high for another minute.
Finished article including 'bits' left over, they were mushy rather than hard shell pieces left and weren't keen on dissolving. I assume mini eggs would be similar.
View attachment 1739092
View attachment 1739093View attachment 1739094
The drink itself is another 3 - middle class, but it's not as good as the peanut butter hot chocolate version. Again can't call it terrible despite not enough heating time.
I had enough milk and snow balls to make a second batch to fill my big mug so "dangerously doubled" up.
Not sure I would choose to do it this way again, between the two recipes I would probably go for 300ml milk, 100ml water with 6+ squares and a tbsp peanut butter.
But I have had some nefarious ideas with other chocolates, watch this space
I actually had a dream/memory of making her carrot/lentil/onion dip last night.
My main memory was it was claggy and didnāt taste of much. I think it went straight in the bin.
My main memory was it was claggy and didnāt taste of much. I think it went straight in the bin.
Hastings, is that you?
Itās slop oāclock, slop fans!
Today Iām baking Lardy Buns, which just so happens to be my new pet name for myself. Iāve gone with the recipe from Cooking On A Bootstrap which favours plain flour and yeast, as opposed to variations online where she unfathomably uses both self raising AND yeast. I want this recipe to actually work so Iām going for what appears to be the more sensible version.
I had everything except the lard which was 41p
Today Iām baking Lardy Buns, which just so happens to be my new pet name for myself. Iāve gone with the recipe from Cooking On A Bootstrap which favours plain flour and yeast, as opposed to variations online where she unfathomably uses both self raising AND yeast. I want this recipe to actually work so Iām going for what appears to be the more sensible version.
I had everything except the lard which was 41p
She starts off by blooming her yeast in warm water before adding it to the ingredients. Seems a bit of an arse about tit way of doing it. Why not just add it to the dry ingredients and then add the warm water to the bowl like you would in any other recipe? Unnecessary faffing.
Made my well which she explains is a āsort of holeā. So helpful. So forensic.
Then I added the yeast water, butter and lard. So, so much lard. And the rest of the water to get a dough.
It did smell nice and cinamonny at this point but I honestly canāt emphasis how much of this mass is just pure lard. I did some kneading and the dough came together nice and easily. Felt springy, as she described. At this stage, itās all quite orokising
Back in the bowl and left to prove, covered over and left somewhere warm. The instructions are much better than the woeful proving instructions that went with the horrendous courgette bread.
Here it is before proving.
And after - she says to leave it for an hour or until doubled in size. It probably took
Then itās time to form the buns by rolling the dough out, cutting into strips and rolling up.
The recipe is meant to make six buns but as you can see, I got a couple of wee ones too. She then says you can brush with egg if you want. I am a fancy gal so I did some brushing and itās just as well, because the next instruction is to sprinkle with sugar and without the egg wash, I canāt see how the sugar would cost the buns. They arenāt particularly sticky to touch.
The recipe calls for 50g of sugar - this is so much sugar to sprinkle on this many buns, but what do I know?
So much sugar.
Into the oven they go
Made my well which she explains is a āsort of holeā. So helpful. So forensic.
Then I added the yeast water, butter and lard. So, so much lard. And the rest of the water to get a dough.
It did smell nice and cinamonny at this point but I honestly canāt emphasis how much of this mass is just pure lard. I did some kneading and the dough came together nice and easily. Felt springy, as she described. At this stage, itās all quite orokising
Back in the bowl and left to prove, covered over and left somewhere warm. The instructions are much better than the woeful proving instructions that went with the horrendous courgette bread.
Here it is before proving.
And after - she says to leave it for an hour or until doubled in size. It probably took
Then itās time to form the buns by rolling the dough out, cutting into strips and rolling up.
The recipe is meant to make six buns but as you can see, I got a couple of wee ones too. She then says you can brush with egg if you want. I am a fancy gal so I did some brushing and itās just as well, because the next instruction is to sprinkle with sugar and without the egg wash, I canāt see how the sugar would cost the buns. They arenāt particularly sticky to touch.
Into the oven they go
Some early investigations revealed they were quite underdone in the middle so I stuck them back in for a bit. The resulting buns are a bit overdone on the outside but at least the lardy innards are cooked through.
taste test to followā¦
taste test to followā¦
Iām on tenterhooks! They look quite nice!
So here they are - not overly offensive looking
the small ones are basically rock hard missiles that could smash a window with a flick of the wrist
The bigger ones are hard on the outside but still quite soft in the middle. Very stodgy. They donāt hold together particularly well. They taste of cinamon and sugar. They are basically ok?
Can I give them a 2.5?
the small ones are basically rock hard missiles that could smash a window with a flick of the wrist
The bigger ones are hard on the outside but still quite soft in the middle. Very stodgy. They donāt hold together particularly well. They taste of cinamon and sugar. They are basically ok?
Can I give them a 2.5?
This makes me sad, a properly made Lardy cake is an unctuous, flaky decadent treat.
I made these when I was a Jackolyte and they were awful. I am going to find a different recipe and try them again.