Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

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Smol Pixel

Smol Pixel

Roll up your sleeves and get slopping, ninnies. The Jaffa cake Mug Pudding has slopped its way into my microwave.



5/5 All things I had in except the marmalade. But marmalade is hardly a weird ingredient so can't fault her on that.
tempImagezAxBOW.jpg

3/5 The recipe was pretty straightforward to follow. No mug size suggested so I just went with a regular mug. Possibly a bit on the small side, but no info given. I melted the chocolate spread and marmalade. Before shot (Trigger warning for Iqbal. Sorry if you're reading, Iqbal)
tempImageAtZlY9.jpg

Melted it all together, stirred in what seemed like A LOT of oil, then milk, egg, sugar and flour.
tempImageEcxKXJ.jpg

(I mean, it's not the Groucho Club)
The flour was quite difficult to mix properly in such a small space.
View media item 3482Jack suggested that the cake/pudding would rise and then deflate. I decided to put a plate under it just in case, which Jack hadn't suggested. She also included no fire safety tips whatsoever so I figured it would be fine to put the mug in the microwave with a fork in.
tempImagefvwH6l.jpg

JK, don't try this at home, kids.
The plate turned out to be very much needed.
View media item 3480I was then instructed to add an extra "smudge" of chocolate spread and marmalade to the top of the towering pud.
tempImagepIueck.jpg

And back in the microwave it went for its final 30 seconds.
View media item 3479Watch out! It's becoming sentient!

2/5 I mean I've seen prettier things. Jack suggests the option of adding chocolate sauce to finish, which I had on hand, but there was no way anything else was going to fit in that mug when the chocolate spread and marmalade were already making a break for it so I abandoned the chocolate sauce.
tempImageV52N9N.jpg

1/5 Stodge. With sloppy edges. Kinda claggy mouthfeel afterwards. I didn't expect it to be this firm. But it was also sludgy.(Volume up for this one!)
View media item 3481

3/5 I will give it to her, this is definitely reminiscent of Jaffa cakes, flavour wise. However, the more cooked bits in the middle had a definite eggy undertone and there was a bitter aftertaste (which may be the marmalade?)

It didn't taste bad and I confess I scarfed the entire thing because, um, it was chocolate. And then I felt a little sick. It was still sloppy/uncooked around the edges (I tasted the sloppy bits on their own to check they weren't just melted chocolate spread) and then very stodgy in the middle. It overflowed the mug and tbh just wasn't worth the labour intensity. I'd rather make a batch of brownies and delay my gratification by 30 mins.
I think it'll have to be a 2. Sorry(not sorry) Jack.
 
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Anyfulekno

Anyfulekno

Smol Pixel said:
Roll up your sleeves and get slopping, ninnies. The Jaffa cake Mug Pudding has slopped its way into my microwave.



5/5 All things I had in except the marmalade. But marmalade is hardly a weird ingredient so can't fault her on that.
View attachment 1738124

3/5 The recipe was pretty straightforward to follow. No mug size suggested so I just went with a regular mug. Possibly a bit on the small side, but no info given. I melted the chocolate spread and marmalade. Before shot (Trigger warning for Iqbal. Sorry if you're reading, Iqbal)
View attachment 1738132
Melted it all together, stirred in what seemed like A LOT of oil, then milk, egg, sugar and flour.
View attachment 1738136
(I mean, it's not the Groucho Club)
The flour was quite difficult to mix properly in such a small space.
View media item 3482Jack suggested that the cake/pudding would rise and then deflate. I decided to put a plate under it just in case, which Jack hadn't suggested. She also included no fire safety tips whatsoever so I figured it would be fine to put the mug in the microwave with a fork in.
View attachment 1738168
JK, don't try this at home, kids.
The plate turned out to be very much needed.
View media item 3480I was then instructed to add an extra "smudge" of chocolate spread and marmalade to the top of the towering pud.
View attachment 1738173
And back in the microwave it went for its final 30 seconds.
View media item 3479Watch out! It's becoming sentient!

2/5 I mean I've seen prettier things. Jack suggests the option of adding chocolate sauce to finish, which I had on hand, but there was no way anything else was going to fit in that mug when the chocolate spread and marmalade were already making a break for it so I abandoned the chocolate sauce.
View attachment 1738188

1/5 Stodge. With sloppy edges. Kinda claggy mouthfeel afterwards. I didn't expect it to be this firm. But it was also sludgy.(Volume up for this one!)
View media item 3481

3/5 I will give it to her, this is definitely reminiscent of Jaffa cakes, flavour wise. However, the more cooked bits in the middle had a definite eggy undertone and there was a bitter aftertaste (which may be the marmalade?)

It didn't taste bad and I confess I scarfed the entire thing because, um, it was chocolate. And then I felt a little sick. It was still sloppy/uncooked around the edges (I tasted the sloppy bits on their own to check they weren't just melted chocolate spread) and then very stodgy in the middle. It overflowed the mug and tbh just wasn't worth the labour intensity. I'd rather make a batch of brownies and delay my gratification by 30 mins.
I think it'll have to be a 2. Sorry(not sorry) Jack.
Click to expand...
b2fed38c-064f-493a-893b-9c6e8b222495_text.gif
 
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That Forensic Man

That Forensic Man

Lostcat said:
Has anyone tried the Energy Saving Cassoulet yet?
www.theguardian.com

Jack Monroe’s energy-saving cassoulet – recipe

Slow-cooked dishes don’t need to sit on the hob or in the oven for hours. After a short blast of heat, they can be tightly wrapped in a towel and left to carry on cooking at no cost
www.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com

I was going to make something sausage-stew related this weekend anyway, and am fully prepared to wrap up a casserole dish in my dressing gown as part of the cooking process. In the interests of THE SLOPALONG, and of SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.
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@Valiofthedolls is currently down to do energy saving cassoulet, but repeat slops are good forensics 🕵️‍♀️
@WhyYouCry? is down for Butter Bean and Cider Cassoulet.

But there's also:
A Girl Called Jack - Pork and beans cassoulet
Veganish - Confit "duck" and pear cassoulet (fancy!)
 
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Lostcat

Lostcat

That Forensic Man said:
@Valiofthedolls is currently down to do energy saving cassoulet, but repeat slops are good forensics 🕵️‍♀️
@WhyYouCry? is down for Butter Bean and Cider Cassoulet.

But there's also:
A Girl Called Jack - Pork and beans cassoulet
Veganish - Confit "duck" and pear cassoulet (fancy!)
Click to expand...
Looked up the "duck" recipe and it seems to contain jackfruit. Last time I ate jackfruit it gave me itchy mouth and hives (I am allergic to latex, some studies suspect the two allergies are related, fun times finding that one out).

I can do the pork and beans cassoulet, if anyone has the full recipe and instructions to hand?
 
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That Forensic Man

That Forensic Man

Lostcat said:
Looked up the "duck" recipe and it seems to contain jackfruit. Last time I ate jackfruit it gave me itchy mouth and hives (I am allergic to latex, some studies suspect the two allergies are related, fun times finding that one out).

I can do the pork and beans cassoulet, if anyone has the full recipe and instructions to hand?
Click to expand...
We need our aptly-named friend @Notmycat
A Girl Called Jack - Pork and beans cassoulet svp x

ETA @Lostcat you are volunteer 100, congratulations! 🥳
 
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H

heastlanda

Forgot to say earlier but I have donated £30 to my local food pantry. The food pantry sells food at below cost price for those who are in need. No screenshot I am afraid because it'll instantly reveal where I live if I did.
 
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WhyYouCry?

WhyYouCry?

Huge apologies slopalongers, life has well and truly got on top of me in the past week or so and my slop hasn’t been forthcoming. I promise I am on it ASAP. I feel as unreliable as Jack herself!
 
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Smol Pixel

Smol Pixel

Notmycat said:
@Lostcat pork and beans cassolulet. Thank you @That Forensic Man
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Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee baby donkey, will someone PLEASE teach her that herbs have different flavours?
A2B88F5E-02E5-4423-B19A-0BD55712D592.jpeg


Gentlemensrelish said:
I just want to say that these threads are perhaps the absolute pinnacle of canal madness.

Lovely microwave @Smol Pixel, did you find it in a puddle?
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Actually that one is from a bin shed. My kettle is from a puddle.

overdueanadventure said:
I think I'm ready to re-enter the fray.

I'm going to try to make Brown Bread Icecream because it's icecream: how bad can it be?
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Blurp

Blurp

Lostcat said:
I cant believe she wrote that. Absolutely do not lift a pan of hot oil off the oven if it is on fire.

Fires in the Kitchen : Firesafe.org.uk

The Fire Safety Advice Centre
www.firesafe.org.uk www.firesafe.org.uk
The relevant quote:
"If a pan of food or chip pan catches fire do not attempt to remove it from the stove, it could give you terrible burns if incorrectly handled.
Turn off the heat if it is safe to do so, but never lean over the pan to the controls, switch off the supply at the meter if necessary."

Put the metal lid on if it is only smoking and is safe to do so, as this will smother the flames before they get going. Or throw a fire blanket over it, I 100% feel every kitchen should have a fire blanket in it, it can save lives. Do not throw water or use a standard fire extinguisher as the force of it will case the burning oil to spatter or explode outwards If the kitchen has a "Wet Chemical" extinguisher use that, they look like this in the UK:

View attachment 1737150
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I've got a fire blanket up in my kitchen as well as in the caravan kitchen, conveniently to hand within easy reach of the cooker in each.

Oh, and Jack, just to point out that I AM a trained firefighter (as well as trained in how to fix a catastrophic leak in your ship should one occur as well as an NBCD incident and how to give CPR in a gas mask....) unlike you doing your charity day trip as a call handler. We had too much to do on our training to take PR pictures though.
 
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hoopdedoo

hoopdedoo

The large number of recipes that spill out of baking/microwaving dishes and make a horrendous mess is even more evidence that these recipes have not been tested. Chapeaus to the brave Slopalongers who anticipated this and used extra plates and pans.
 
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NellieBoo

NellieBoo

Veronicaaa said:
I, OTOH, was absolutely ENTHRALLED when one of my mum's friends made the for me for the first time ever, I must have been about 10 but the memory is burned in my brain. Absolutely love the salty little buggers.
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Oooh I love whitebait. Dredged in seasoned flour and fried then sprinkled with salt, pepper and lemon juice. We used to have them at home on a Saturday night (when our Mum wasn't working nights) when we were kids as a starter. Then proper rotisserie chicken, hot buttered new potatoes and coleslaw cos we were FANCY 70's and 80's kids. Happy times!

I'm not entirely convinced you can batter and fry tinned sardines either. How are you supposed to drain and remove them carefully from the tin and yet poke around to remove any large bones?
 
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pumbilical cord

pumbilical cord

Uncooked flour can harbour e.coli. if her cake recipes are causing uncooked batter that's more danger jack to contend with.
 
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