Siobhán O'Hagan #59 Everything is fine, Ned’s values didn’t align, it's pronounced Calvin Klein

[LetsCallEmOut]

Early thread title suggestion:

“60th thread, it’s gone south with Ned, we’re looking at the back of Codswallop’s head”.

 

[SIXTYNINEDUDES!]

I'm gonna defend the zoo thing. It's something to do with a newborn, it's basically a walk around a very large park and there's a petting zoo and playgrounds etc. Some families have traditions of photos taken at the same spot over years.

Put it another way, if she brought the baby out to the pub on the thinking "sure the baby doesn't know where she is anyway" we'd all be ripping her a new one.

It's very boring having a newborn, I'll defend any wholesome activity Shivs does that kills time and doesn't involve alcohol or her disordered body image.

I'll turn in my tattle membership at the door

 

[forgotmyacc]

Grubby mitts and dry lips
Rewear clothes after leaky nips

( remixing the above comments into a thread title )

 

[PourSomeSugarOnMe]

Move over Mumsnet, now its time for Taxnet

 

[u k hun ?]

The high spec head wreck.

 

[forgotmyacc]

High spec car
High spec phone

High spec wanker.

 

[littledrunkgirl]

I was asking my insider why she won’t live near her parents. She wants to be seen with the influencers in the city, she doesn’t feel she belongs in swords with her old school friends.
There’s been a few misunderstandings already when Ned is due to take baby Coco. The worst when Shiv was ready to go with him and baby to his families do and she wasn’t actually invited!!

 

[SIXTYNINEDUDES!]

Is she meant to use teeth whitening stuff when breastfeeding?

She's about 15 litres of Botox, cheek filler and lip filler in her face and plastic tits.

Whitening strips are practically organic compared to the rest of her.

 

[leahcimm123]

For a second I thought Shiv was joining in with the baby nickname game

 

[SpendTooMuchTimeOnHere]

Dear Hello Fresh,

Please fuck off,

Sincerely,
Everyone

 

[HumphreyB]

oh look totally average growth in a newborn, outgrowing your one month clothes in one month.

 

[professional_athlete]

Every time Ned posts his speeded up press up video, all I see in my head is that faithful night #ruinedforlife

Real time recap of their romantic relationship

 

[generalb@stard]

Move over Mumsnet, now its time for Taxnet

Would rather read about how she is working the system than read about her leaky tits

 

[Thanksgiving49]

And we all know you spend half your life at coffee shops.

such an idiot, just put the kettle on at home, no one else cares what silly paper cup you’ve got your grubby mitts and your dry lips round today

Grubby mitts and dry lips for the next tread title

 

[hahayaya]

 

[forgotmyacc]

I wonder did the "animalistic" sounds in the zoo give poor neddy boy flashbacks

 

[Thenosyyoke]

I'm sure the 3 week old baby will be talking about that trip to the zoo with mammy for years and years to come. #makingmemories

 

[TreesOfGreen]

I still can’t believe someone actually rode her.

 

[Cáca_Milis]

Full thread title is:

Everything is fine, Ned’s values didn’t align, everything is fine, please give me a dime, everything is fine, it’s actually pronounced ‘Calvin Klein’, everything is fine.

But it didn't fit so I did a hatchet job on it Thanks to @professional_athlete for the winning title!

 

[Roman]

I feel like if they were a couple, it would be normal enough to go to the zoo as a family, or maybe when carrot is older, but it seems like a date type scenario but they’re not together, with an oblivious baby.. a bit odd imo

He’s probably just looking for ways to spend time with the baby that don’t involve hanging around Shiv’s messy and claustrophobic flat.