I was married for almost 19 years to my late husband. He died suddenly in front of me and my daughter, who was 14 at the time. It was a massive shock. My daughter was so close to her dad; he would call her his shadow as she was always with him. I couldn't grieve because I was so worried for her and her wellbeing.
My husband was a widower himself and would say to me he would hate for me to be alone for the rest of my life as I have a lot of love to give. He found love with me so said if I met someone, he wouldn't have a problem.
I never, ever thought I would ever find love again, until 16 months later when I started a new job and me and my boss got on really well (it's a long, long story).
We've now been together almost 7 years next month.
But.............
I have terminal cancer. Was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer which spread to my lungs and now has spread to my pelvis. I've been told I have months to live. I'm 49 and in a care home because I need care and support.
It breaks my heart because I won't be an elderly mum to my daughter. I fear missing her settling down, having children, living a good life.
It breaks my heart that me and boyfriend won't grow old together.
Daughter and me have spoken about my death. I just want her prepared for the worst. Unlike her dad, at least I know I will die at some point, so won't be such a shock to get the way her dad died.
Boyfriend has taken it hard as we both worked in security and saw how fit and active I was. Now I need a zimmer frame and wheelchair to get around.
But I try to remain positive, especially as care home is on lock down so I haven't seen them since March. I want to be alive when things get back to 'normal'.
But I feel this Simon fella exploits his poor son.
Sorry for long post.