As sad as it is to read your experiences in a way it is comforting to know we're not alone.
The myth of unconditional maternal love, that it is this great, unqualified, unquantified, most natural ever lasting love and bond was very damaging to me. It made me feel even more rejected by my mother. How could she not feel this way, if she couldn't then how could anyone else love me if my own mother couldn't? After years of therapy I see it differently and I know this was about her and her own issues than me being unloveable.
I think people who grow up with loving parents are extremely lucky and shouldn't assume that therefor all other parents are like theirs and all issues are just silly 'tiffs' and misunderstandings. I know posters on here don't, but it is so hurtful when people gasp BUT-HOOOOOOW are you no contact with your mum??? Life is so short you will regret it. Ummm, try walking in my shoes first.