I'm only a few years older than her, but I can't reconcile what I see her present of her life versus my own reality.
I feel like I've lived 7 lifetimes in the past 2 decades alone.
I've had to deal with (either personally or in my immediate circle) various types of cancer, multiple sudden deaths and the grief of loss, serious life-threatening accidents and extended hospitalizations, eating disorders, racism, sexism, depression, manic-depression, suicides, domestic violence and sexual assault, burglaries, crippling anxiety, chronic illness, autism, autoimmune diseases, allergies, and most recently Covid.
On top of this, I have witnessed firsthand humanitarian strife and displacement in third world countries, and how much people in those crises can resiliently survive and still find a way to smile.
I try really hard to remain rational, grateful, humble and open. I am aware of my good fortune to have survived a lot, but also my good fortune for having experienced these hardships as they have moulded me. I am far from the person I would hope to be, but I am always trying and hopeful that I will evolve into a kind person, a good person.
Meanwhile Sarah complains that she hasn't folded her laundry, Kurt is away for a weekend, she didn't get the summer she wanted, a cartoon made her emotional, people aren't telling her she's skinny today...
You've lived to 28 and you think this is life? You think these are challenges?
Even her 'hardships' in the form of the spider bite, CIN 3 and difficult birth were all relatively mild and worked out in her favour, when any of those could have resulted in catastrophe. Yet she has never reflected on her good fortune, never been grateful for how few real challenges she's lived through and how smoothly she passed through those experiences?
She's never cried from relief that someone she knows has survived cancer or recovered from covid, she's only ever cried for herself. Even now with Kurt allegedly struggling with some unknown condition, she's never expressed gratitude that he is still (highly) functioning, she's only expressed irritation that she has to cater to him (which is still all talk and we've not seen her actually do so).
I don't understand. I just don't understand.