Sarah Burke #33 Doesn't know her cykels from washing to menstruation, shut up or risk an alteration

[square_spoon]

She’s a professional insta ass licker and always, I mean ALWAYS manages to be the first comment on the insta huns posts. Prob sits around all day refreshing Instagram so she can comment on the likes of Sarah, just Jordan, me Julie.. everyone and anyone really, she has no standards. Also can be seen tagging influencers on her stories in the hopes she will be reshared and get followers. Has no notable talent but hey which of them does. Her profession seems to be influencer rimmer extraordinaire who usually can be found lurking in the comments section of the grimmest influencers. Nobody knows it’s origins. Approach with caution.

‘influencer rimmer’… deceased

I just did a dive on her stories where she is praising Burp for articulating what ‘we’ all feel about tattle trolls picking ‘our’ lives apart. Who is ‘we’ Chelsey hun? What club is it you think you’re part of?!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news like….but hun

 

[Msweb93]

Sarah there wasn't one thing in that haul that you could have sized down in and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Own the size you are and stop shiting on about being a smaller size than you actually are and people might not give you so much sh*t online. And if you say you order from the curve section because its more comfortable than the regular sizes, that's because you need to order from the curve section due to your size. And again there is absolutely nothing wrong with that just own it!!

 

[ahtisyourself]

A slimming world consultant who won’t share her weekly weight loss because she’s not able to lose weight. Make it make sense.

 

[I got up at 5am]

This New York trip will be comedy gold. Does she think New Jersey is like fairhill to cork city distance? She is in for a shock if she does. The amount of travelling they will have to do daily if they are heading in & out to Manhattan will have Luke wrecked never mind the distance of everything all around Manhattan. Even if they were staying smack in the middle they would be wrecked from walking. This is new york on a dealz budget, I’d rather stay at home than do it like that.

 

[square_spoon]

Is there anything she isn't "ok" with? "I'm ok with that, blah blah blah and I'm ok with that too"

Brian having a baby with someone else

 

[brandambassador]

I am violently ill watching her slap her spare tyre & pretend she’s not in pain bating herself into those leggings 🫣

 

[Lovelula]

Just a couple of things Burp when you get a chance.


1.What happened to Clonakilty?
2.If it hurts you to read what people say about your family why do you openly call Donna Alpaca?
3.Who has Luke 2% of the week?
4.Who is the paper man in Cork?
5.What products do AIB sell?Do you have a discount code for the mortgages??

 

[Get off my chest]

Wonder how Sarah would feel if Brian posted on social media that while he was chatting into his phone, that Michelle was in the background showering luke...

I can guarantee you sarah would flip the lid

 

[I got up at 5am]

WHERE ARE THE 90 cysts & all the PAIN?

 

[Lovelula]

I needed that laugh, I am in stitchesshe charged her cunt batteries for that, she is like Martin Luther king
Big can I speak to your manager head on her...she is actually gone demented from trying to convince people shes happy when shes not....
And who buys a paper from the paper man...its not the 1920s
Dont click the button Suzie...DEAD

 

[Alucia]

No Brian doesn't show luke on his social media hes a very private person but I will say he and michelle brought luke to trabolgan with his new sister and Kyle. Luke is having a blast

Whats the story Ratz, you are like Lazarus

 

[Instacol]

She hasnt read here since october 2020 but knows everything being spoken about and literally justifies stuff all the time when its spoken about on here.

 

[square_spoon]

Ah listen, Burp fuming at the ‘obsession’ people have with influencers. I guess she didn’t get the memo about influencers only being of any value to a brand because of the interest other people in the audience take in them and their lives. Honestly these two-faced ‘influencers’ boil my piss, happy to mislead their audience when it suits them and be all ‘hey look at meeeee’ but then ‘oh you can’t have a negative opinion of me #bekind’. Get the fuck off. Your whole ‘job’ revolves around selling shit to an audience, don’t be surprised when they get an opinion of you because of it.

‘My weight has been scrutinised soo much’….err it’s your job Sayyyyyra? To lead by example and have people buy into that weight loss plan that’s working so well for you - that’s how you make your coin. It’d be like a makeup artist applying her own makeup as if she were Stevie Wonder in a wind tunnel…..of course they’d have an opinion on it and steer clear of her makeup artistry. The lack of self-awareness in these gowls is off the charts.

 

[#obsssessed]

The waist trainer must shrink boobs too

 

[LegallyBlonde1]

I know and $500 for 15 mins. What the actual fuck. And then going on about cancelling one night if the 2 night hotel stay. If I was heading to Ney York with my partner and 5 Yr old child I would have everything planned out because the time will fly by. And if you are sightseeing you would usually try to have everything precooked as you will often get the tours/sights cheaper. You would try to have an itinerary for each day as much as possible. And always leave a day for Woodburn Common or any other outlet mall. You don't spend spend that money to just wing it

That helicopter trip is all in her imagination......a bit like last Mondays Fertility Appointment, last weekends Clonakilty trip, the 768 cysts, Luke being a boy genius, buying the house......I could go on but I think ye get the gist

 

[brandambassador]

Ok look it’s me I’m SUZIEE

 

[Get off my chest]

Sorry lads I'm still shook she had 6 sausages in a jaysus salad wit 45grams of feta... SIX BLEEDIN SAUSAGES... SIX... IN A SALAD worst sw leader EVER

But she's OK with that

 

[Graywalls]

Before I moved to Ireland, my main frame of reference was Father Ted. I remember Ted saying to Dougal that real cows were bigger than toy cows but that they just looked smaller because they were far away.
Sarahs close up zoomed in before picture and zoomed out far away after picture reminds me of this so much, who does she think she is fooling

 

[Danni78]

She is going mad cos people are talking about her and disagreeing with the things she does...em thats called life?
She bashes the father of her child any chance she gets the hypocrite.
She exposes her young son online instead of protecting him ( internet safety 101)
Trisha made a post and burp makes it all about her, self obsessed much?

You are all con artists making easy money jumping round your rooms doing silly dances and selling us shite saying its gorgeous, beautiful bla bla until the clab finishes you don't hear from it again the rotten black salad pudding was never seen again thought it was the best thing ever...
So will ya ever fuck up, sell your tat online until the gravy train runs out and you have no more groups and have to go onto the dole and get your council house thats where your headed..ha can see her the age of Betty sitting there oh back in my day I was an instagram star...goon
I thought she loved and admired the Kardashians who get bashed everyday cos there in the public eye tough shit why do you expect people to lick your hole all day long.

She needs so much validation online its scary stuff...and she is no more happy with Keith hes the only one who will have her..
And lastly does the thick cow not realise everyone bought magazines back in the day because it was gossip pages about celebs and their scandals, not page after page of people licking their holes..the gossip has moved online now and its more entertaining cos I can watch a clown the next country over to me oversharing her car crash life. Not that she will admit this but if she ever watched Jeremy Kyle of bought a celeb magazine she is no different than people viewing Tattle.

Sincerely Chelsea is another cork yoke that exposes her children online, cries and whinges like a child into the camera, daily moans of her aliments, shit reels and fashion sense and begs not so subtly for shoes for her kids, hotel stays for her child and holidays. Doesn't get many freebies so far, she will fade into oblivion soon enough she can't handle instagram cries to her mother if theres a comment on here. They all lick the whole off each other for followers and if we hit a nerve with ya its cos its the truth!

 

[ahtisyourself]

Missing and feared dead by repetitive bullshit

Answers to the name of: Jean
Surname: unknown
Occupation: Sarah Burke enabler
Last seen: listening to the same waffle she has been listening to for the last two years on repeat every Friday morning. May be either bored to death on the couch or in a catatonic state from lack of interest. If seen approach with caution

* if found under no circumstances mention the names Sarah, Burke, burp, beddy, Luke, Keet, Brian, the words “I’m ok with that”, “my journey” “syns” “alterations” as these may trigger her into anger. Also try not to blink too much as this could also set her off.