Same Sex Flirting

[TeaNoSugar]

I've had a number of boyfriends over the years (am 23), and most of them are complete nobs, always after one thing, and usually after they've finished with the football or gone out boozing with there mates.

Am so sick of there lack of commitment and understanding. My current b/f is a case in point. Seems his priorities are football first, job second, mates 3rd and me a possibly 4th. And even then he just wants me to dip his wick into.

Have always had these thoughts/dreams about dating women. But I don't know if I'm into women for real. I don't even know if women are harder/easier to get along with in relationships. How do you know if you have bi feelings if you've never actually dated other women? What do you say to them? How can you tell if there bi?

Am just so pissed off with men at the moment that I'm willing to try alternatives but have no idea if I honestly want to do this or if its just bitterness against my current b/f and that perhaps with a bit of patience I will find my man.

Does that make sense?

 

[BettyCrocker]

Are you sexually attracted to women? Do you get the same thoughts about women that you do when you fancy a guy??

Men aren’t all like you describe. Don’t write them all off!!!! Sounds like you just seem to be picking the wrong kind of guy!!!

I think you need to get out of the current relationship you are in now because you don’t seem happy. Be single. Allow yourself to be open minded with both men & women. But just choose wisely - regardless of gender, you have to find someone you are genuinely compatible with on all levels. You are only 23, that’s really young. You need to find out about yourself first - then find someone to share yourself with in a mutually respectful relationship wether that’s with a guy or a girl.

 

[watermelon sugar]

There are gonna be women out there who are nobs as well, it's not just men. That's not really a reason to start dating girls. I've dated both in my life and you get the exact same feelings for a girl as you do a boy. It's really not hard to figure out

 

[Caramel Latte]

I get the tendency to generalise and think that "all men are trash" and believe me, a man who only met horrible women would say the same thing about all women, and that doesn't make it true. There are horrible people in both genders.

There are men who put their partner first and love/care. I totally get your disappointment cuz i feel it too. Finding a partner isn't always easy or comes quickly to everyone.

I tell you what i tell myself, focus on working on yourself. If there's something you wanna learn that brings you joy, or any quality about you that you wanna change or acquire a new one, just go for it.

For example i had some wrong ideas about life/myself that made me accept behaviours that shouldn't be acceptable. When i realised that and worked on it, my priorities and standards changed.

About your partner though, try to talk to him/try to work it out or leave if it makes you happier.

 

[TeaNoSugar]

Thanks for the tips.

Guess I need to be patient and more selective. I don't mind the sex but I want more than just that. But am so sick of randy men coming onto me with there "Oh baby you're so sexy" crap. And then when its all over they piss off and watch the football.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Thanks for the tips.

Guess I need to be patient and more selective. I don't mind the sex but I want more than just that. But am so sick of randy men coming onto me with there "Oh baby you're so sexy" crap. And then when its all over they piss off and watch the football.

Yeahhhhh you need to broaden your horizons regarding the type of men you go with!! Just focus on yourself for now. Enjoy your life as a single young woman. Learn, travel, socialise, make strong friendships, do things you want to do for you. In time you will meet someone who is right for you and who actually genuinely cares about you and wants a full on relationship with you - not just someone who wants a quick shag before the penalties.

 

[TeaNoSugar]

Yeahhhhh you need to broaden your horizons regarding the type of men you go with!! Just focus on yourself for now. Enjoy your life as a single young woman. Learn, travel, socialise, make strong friendships, do things you want to do for you. In time you will meet someone who is right for you and who actually genuinely cares about you and wants a full on relationship with you - not just someone who wants a quick shag before the penalties.

This!

My b/f has probably one eye on the footie, and the other one either on me or how many cans of lager there are on the fridge

 

[Greencatfysh]

Just be single and enjoy it! It’s awesome! I was single for most of my teens and twenties and now have met someone amazing as I go into my thirties. Men mature so so much more slowly than women. They haven’t a clue what they want in my experience til they’re older and have other priorities that come first. Oh and p.s if you think you might like girls too, once life is back to normality see if you want to meet a girl and see where it goes!

 

[BettyCrocker]

This!

My b/f has probably one eye on the footie, and the other one either on me or how many cans of lager there are on the fridge

Get rid of him. Seriously. That’s not a real relationship. You need to be single, enjoy your life and figure out who you are first before embarking on a relationship with anyone else.

 

[TeaNoSugar]

Just be single and enjoy it! It’s awesome! I was single for most of my teens and twenties and now have met someone amazing as I go into my thirties. Men mature so so much more slowly than women. They haven’t a clue what they want in my experience til they’re older and have other priorities that come first. Oh and p.s if you think you might like girls too, once life is back to normality see if you want to meet a girl and see where it goes!

Am so tempted to meet up with a girl but I just know I'll bottle it and run out of things to say. Although at least another woman will know how to press my buttons so to speak.

Think I might go with the single life for awhile. Less hassle, less drama

 

[JoeBloggs]

This!

My b/f has probably one eye on the footie, and the other one either on me or how many cans of lager there are on the fridge

Get rid of him now.

There are plenty of decent men out there and just because you haven't dated one yet isn't a reason to 'try women'. If you are actually sexually attracted to them then it may be good to experiment to understand your real feelings and what you do and don't like.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

There are gonna be women out there who are nobs as well, it's not just men. That's not really a reason to start dating girls. I've dated both in my life and you get the exact same feelings for a girl as you do a boy. It's really not hard to figure out

Would you say that you're more attracted to men or women or is it 50/50?
Sorry if I sound nosey, I don't mean to be. I'm just curious because one of my friends says that she'd describe herself as bi, but that she's probably 80/20 men/women. She's in a long term relationship with a man for quite a few years now.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Would you say that you're more attracted to men or women or is it 50/50?
Sorry if I sound nosey, I don't mean to be. I'm just curious because one of my friends says that she'd describe herself as bi, but that she's probably 80/20 men/women. She's in a long term relationship with a man for quite a few years now.

I find more women attractive! Probably 50/50! There's a difference to thinking someone is attractive and having feelings for them though

 

[babya123]

When things turn back to normal I think you should try. I’m bi and the sexual awakening was honestly so strange to me and so late in my teens. I’d always liked men and pushed desperately for male attention, what I loved so much about women is I didn’t have to push for their attention like I did with a man. Because it felt natural and mutual, I found I could easily hook up and move on unlike with men. Where I struggled to do that, but I might be a bit biased because I’m team woman more than team men. I deffo appreciate a good looking man don’t get me wrong but when you open your eyes to the other gender I think a lot changes. You clearly are far from happy in this relationship, please break up with him! And don’t bat for the other team because you met a man you don’t like! The right one could come along!

 

[TeaNoSugar]

Would you say that you're more attracted to men or women or is it 50/50?
Sorry if I sound nosey, I don't mean to be. I'm just curious because one of my friends says that she'd describe herself as bi, but that she's probably 80/20 men/women. She's in a long term relationship with a man for quite a few years now.

Good question. I've had about 5 boyfriends since I was 16 and they've all followed the same traits. just get bored of it to be honest. But I have to say I have become attracted to a few female celebs, and have often wondered what it would be like! But then again once past the sex experience would a woman still have more broader interests?

Think I might just stick to the single life for a few months and think about it.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Good question. I've had about 5 boyfriends since I was 16 and they've all followed the same traits. just get bored of it to be honest. But I have to say I have become attracted to a few female celebs, and have often wondered what it would be like! But then again once past the sex experience would a woman still have more broader interests?

Think I might just stick to the single life for a few months and think about it.

Regardless of wether you are with a man or a woman, a genuine relationship with someone who you are compatible with is so much more than just sex. So much more. If you’ve never experienced that then you’ve never really been in a proper relationship. You sound like you’ve basically been with a variation of the same man in all 6 guys you’ve been involved with. Break the cycle. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Stop going with guys who have no real interest in YOU. If you want a proper relationship- with a man or a woman - you first need to fall in love with yourself. I know that sounds cheesy as all hell but it’s true. You need to work out who you are first before you can let someone else in to your heart and your bed.

 

[TeaNoSugar]

Regardless of wether you are with a man or a woman, a genuine relationship with someone who you are compatible with is so much more than just sex. So much more. If you’ve never experienced that then you’ve never really been in a proper relationship. You sound like you’ve basically been with a variation of the same man in all 6 guys you’ve been involved with. Break the cycle. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Stop going with guys who have no real interest in YOU. If you want a proper relationship- with a man or a woman - you first need to fall in love with yourself. I know that sounds cheesy as all hell but it’s true. You need to work out who you are first before you can let someone else in to your heart and your bed.

don't worry about that. I've "loved" myself loads of times in bed, lol

but you make some great points. Can you be my mother?

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’ve tried to talk to girls before (on Tinder) and for me it’s like getting blood out of a stone. Just flows with lads better for me so I gave up.

 

[TeaNoSugar]

I’ve tried to talk to girls before (on Tinder) and for me it’s like getting blood out of a stone. Just flows with lads better for me so I gave up.

I do have a girl friend on GoChat. Very friendly, my kind of age. Single and bi curious. Likes my kind of stuff and is bored with guys. Don't know how to turn a convo into something like "Do you fancy me?" or "Have you gone out with girls?"

I always find it difficult to start a convo with someone new

 

[bolimepipi]

i've been with both girls and guys, probably more girls even, but with girls it's always been purely sexual. i find both men and women attractive but i could never imagine myself in an actual romantic relationship with a woman. so i wouldn't say i'm bi, but i've had my fair share of testing it out
so i'd say if you really want to go for it, obviously you are curious. ask that friend on gochat if she's up for exploring this, you say she's single and bi curious. just make sure no one gets hurt in the process, if for you this is just fun/exploration and she ends up really liking you! make it clear from the beginning that you don't have experience with this and you aren't sure if it's for you. and most importantly stay away from your bf/ex bf