Sali Hughes #33 Grifty shades of grey. It's a complex case.

[SqualorVictoria]

Did anyone notice in one of the facebook screenshots that Sali said something like "vogue would have commissioned me to write a piece had I chosen to go blonde" or words to that effect. Drunk on her own self importance

I went back and had a look, Vogue would have just as quickly commissioned her to do the piece had she chosen to go blonde.

 

[Vanelope]

There’s something so ironic about Sal advertising anything narcissist.

I actually feel strangely sorry for her. She needs psychological assistance.

She must have known that making a big change to her hair, people are going to have interest and/or opinions about it.

Yet she clearly CANNOT cope with people commenting.

I’ve seen several people voice confusion and the process or the results. She comes at them with a truly frightening level of aggression.

She deals with her enquir as if they were abuse! There’s a strong disconnect between reality and her perspective.

I personally wouldn’t be suited to a job that involved any level of public engagement or scrutiny.

But for that reason, I wouldn’t write a column for the Guardian.

I think the way she speaks to people is so aggressive and condescending.

She barely copes when ass-kissing people ask a question.

Such a weird mix of Queen and victim complexes.

Sali, get yourself to a therapist.

‘Pretty Narcissistic- a study of the rise of the influencer, how selling our lives online became lucrative and are we giving too much information to the trolls of the internet in return for freebies’

there you go - new book idea Sali - copyright by me

Years ago I dyed my hair supposedly a dark brown and it picked up red tones. My boyfriend at the time mentioned that it looked red. Is that really any different to saying a colour looks brassy? To be factual about it brassy is a colour or tone in relation to hair.

I have warm tones to my hair, no matter how much I plead with my hairdresser a cool blonde will not work, it will always start to go more gold

 

[HotesTilaire]

I see a number of new members, as usual Sali has promoted Tattle to her followers.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Full Streisand in action again!

 

[clondon]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

 

[MakkaPakka]

Someone who called their book "Pretty Honest" should be able to deal with honesty.
There was nothing rude about your comment @clondon
And: welcome

 

[GossipMongoose]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

Thanks for joining us and welcome. Your reply didn’t read as rude to me (NT), just as an opinion, whereas Sali is frequently rude to others.

 

[Prognosis Negative]

I feel really angry that Sali bullied an autistic woman into apologising for being autistic on the GTL thread.

the world is hard enough to navigate if you are autistic without being hounded for not realising it was an ego stroking thread.

I saw that and as a fellow autistic woman I felt for her.

Computer and phone screen colour renditions vary so much, why did Hughes get so butthurt about it all? Hughes is a f-ing thinskinned witch - she can dish it out but she can't take it.

Autistic woman here also, I'm not on the group so have only seen ss on these threads and her replies to people elsewhere. It is hard enough without people moving the goalposts constantly! Stating anything that isn't totally truthful isn't something my brain can cope with tbh.

I'm never ever purposely rude or comment about anything other than the subject at hand though, and I always have a suggestion to improve anything I'm trying to advise constructively on.

Perhaps Sali should write a disclaimer to specify that only fawning and sycophantic replies are required? Also as someone working in media and beauty for this long she really should have a grasp of colour balancing her pictures correctly to compensate for changing light conditions and an idea about how they will display on different devices and screens. If it's not photographing correctly still, just say so?

Also it is brassy! Uneven lift can be a factor when bleaching longer hair if you don't do it carefully, my hair in the photo was uneven and brassy in places because it had grown out for a year before I lifted it all again. I can only achieve really pale and consistent easy lift when my regrowth is a couple of inches max, any longer and I won't get a perfect result because of my hair type so I compensate by mixing and applying dyes as needed to blend it a bit.

An actual #expertcolourist in a good salon would have been able to avoid this though. If I had been to a salon to have my virgin hair bleached I would expect to have very clean results, especially after toning too.
I would be so pissed off having sat there for hours to achieve that result, it looks very much like her hair wasn't light enough in places for the Goldwell dye/toner to work properly but they put it on anyway?

But all this extra stuff about other allergen free options/realistic expectations based on hair type could have gone in the article if she'd been inclined to look into it at all. Would have been a much more interesting read tbh.

 

[NotDumbNotBlonde]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

Welcome and I'm really glad you felt welcome to post here. This thread is such a lovely group of thoughtful, incisive, compassionate and funny women.

I only got my ASD DX 2 years ago aged 57 after a lifetime of struggle and misunderstandings. I tie myself in knots trying not to be too blunt but still stuff slips out and I'm bemused why people feel hurt.

 

[Annasho]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

Bravo
Thank you for stepping forward and for writing this. I'm a massive fan of unfiltered communication and have never understood why people veer so strongly towards the bullshit. Why is that approach right, but the other approach wrong?

Neurodiversity is such an important area for people to understand and also to embrace.

 

[Prognosis Negative]

Hello @clondon! Glad you've come to join! There are lots of us on Tattle, I've found people are quite straightforward here.

 

[Vanelope]

It’s the hypocrisy with Sali, because she herself is so rude to people, but anyone disagrees with her or says anything not fawning about her and she’s offended and blocking and sarky AF. If she was a little nicer herself I would understand the thin skin. Whoever said that Elizabeth Taylor / Joan Rivers story above - what a dame. Does help that she was acclaimed as the most beautiful woman in the world at one time - might prop the self esteem a little.

 

[PaintPots]

There are options if you are unable to use said toners/dyes due to ingredients.

Direct dyes, though technically semi permanent can cover very well and last a long time, many are allergy safe and no developer required.

I had grey hair for several years, which I achieved by using a good quality bleach + silver shampoo and Pravana Chromasilk Vivids Silver dye.
I use these types of dyes as I am on long term chemotherapy and only do one process to preserve my hair integrity etc etc.

My hair is very dark with red undertones so can be particularly difficult to lift evenly ( I do it myself, #expertcolourist ) but the results are good even if my base isn't completely even.
You can easily vary the intensity with conditioner or mix in small amounts of other shades to neutralise particular areas for better tone overall.

The picture was taken about three weeks after dyeing so the more orange areas are more obvious, but they are just neutral/less vibrant, not brassy and strange still.
This was also six years ago, so there's way more to choose from and excellent tutorials nowadays.

It's a shame Sali had such an awful reaction before but it's so easy to avoid PPD etc if you need to, so maybe just get a bleeping grip and work around it?

I don't personally use social media to speak directly with people I follow but do not know, but I really feel sad for those that do engage with her posts to be spoken to like that. It's pretty disingenuous to invite interaction in a private group in this way if you're going to be so nasty about it.
I imagine it must make those singled out feel quite upset.

Love your hair! A steely darker grey is so flattering and very chic. I think if Sali went for a short bob and a darker grey then she could look quite striking.

 

[Shineyshine]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

Thank you for coming over and sharing your thoughts here. Your comment to Sali didn’t actually come across as rude at all, simply the truth. Whereas Sali is often deliberately rude, knowing exactly what she is doing.

 

[Eurgh]

Love your hair! A steely darker grey is so flattering and very chic. I think if Sali went for a short bob and a darker grey then she could look quite striking.

She really needs to lose the ratty ends.

 

[Shineyshine]

But all this extra stuff about other allergen free options/realistic expectations based on hair type could have gone in the article if she'd been inclined to look into it at all. Would have been a much more interesting read tbh.

Completely agree with this. Comes across that She’s done very little wider research on this topic, because as usual, she has literally only written about her own very narrow personal experience. She’s only researched it in as far as it applies to her particular set of circumstances, and she doesn’t understand the wider subject at all. So why the duck Vogue thought her a fit and proper person to write a piece on it I don’t understand. It’s only of use to anyone if they slot into Sali’s own extremely unique ‘complex’ set of parameters.

 

[Jade Mitzi]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

Am glad you found here. You didn’t join her group to be snipped at for having your own opinion, her complete dismissal of your autism was disgusting.

I do however think your ban on GTL and IG will be commencing in 3.....2.....1

 

[GossipMongoose]

Completely agree with this. Comes across that She’s done very little wider research on this topic, because as usual, she has literally only written about her own very narrow personal experience. She’s only researched it in as far as it applies to her particular set of circumstances, and she doesn’t understand the wider subject at all. So why the duck Vogue thought her a fit and proper person to write a piece on it I don’t understand. It’s only of use to anyone if they slot into Sali’s own extremely unique ‘complex’ set of parameters.

To be fair, Vogue is hardly ‘New Scientist’. It’s full of poorly researched, guffy, puff-pieces.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

Welcome!
Nobody here thought your comment was remotely rude. Sali didn't have to reply. Her hair is obviously a touchy subject at the moment.
By the way if you are banned from GTL please have a good look around the different threads on Tattle for interesting topics (as well as this one obviously).
There are skincare and makeup ones too.
It is not all the poisonous nest of vipers Sali would have people believe but on the whole very supportive and friendly.

 

[Baroo11]

Okay so might get blocked from GTL and following on IG. I am the Autistic woman who posted in her group. Most of us state exactly what we see and can't avoid being unfiltered. We literally learn to lie by interacting with neurotypicals who often bullshit. We lack that skill and therefore often say what we think and as an earlier poster mentioned we are often worth listening to as our thoughts are simply honest not rude (while to neurotypicals it comes across as exactly that - rude ) My thoughts after the interaction were there are millions of autistic women and men most of us are blunt, direct etc most of us love social media as it is easier than interacting face to face. Sali didn't know I was autistic but surely everyone not just influencers needs to learn to accept those that are different from themselves. I didn't even mean brassy blonde in a rude way. I actually think it looks nice but from the photo isn't grey. Sali - if you are reading - you can't always get nice comments believe me anyone who is autistic knows this, no environment works like that and if all you want is praise then get off social media - it is a tough environment to hang out in - also educate yourself on neurodiversity it is very common.

I nearly messaged you to say she was out of line and you DO NOT have to apologise for how you communicate! And definitely to a woman with a strong record of bullying!