Sali Hughes #22 pretty narcissistic
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I doubt this is true. An MP would not have the power to sort out a passport or take on working for someone who wasn't their constituent. Caitlin Moran's tweet was absurd (and in my opinion reckless) but Jess Phillips (who I'm very much not a fan of) would not be able to get anything moving at the Passport Office for a non-constituent.
I think there was two "you guys are sad and jealous" new posters that were shown the door. Just checked and Sali is the #10 thread in the last 24 hours when she's not usually in the top 40 - anyone can check this out looking at the trending threads. Nothing like freaky Friday, I think lots are over the influencer that called wolf.
While your right an MP doesn't have that power, I don't doubt that some think they do and would go out of their way to help a blue ticker that they like. Even if all their help was just an email to someone at the home office that achieved nothing.
I know what happened on Twitter- I saw it unfold at the time. It's a big leap from Phillips asking for the person's details to her sorting out a passport. That would put her position at risk. And be nigh on impossible in one day. It was a Thursday evening Cautlin was tweeting and passport non- holder was travelling on Saturday. Caitlin's original tweet offered "untold riches" or similar to anyone that could sort it out. That was incredibly stupid, naive and inducing an employee of The Passport Office to act in a corrupt manner and risk their job by subverting the system.
I also want to add that as women we are taught by society that we must care for others: our partners, children, family, friends and even others who we do not know well or have never met.
This burden is laid at our door and caring traits are prized in 'good' women in a way that is not true of the male experience.
I think that women internalise this with the effect that we feel 'bad' for 'not being nice' to other people, especially other women, even when we have no real obligation to 'look after' these people's welfare.
I think that Sali looks at this site through this lens - that we have an obligation to 'be nice' to her - and that, likewise, past guilty commenters feel bad for 'talking badly' about Sali and 'upsetting' her [for the record, I do believe that Becky is real].
Part of empowering women so that we can live lives with equal chances is allowing us to have more control over those we choose to care for. This may involve not automatically being the allotted carer to an old parent, or not assuming the majority of household chores when both partners work the same hours; it might also involve not always being the go to parent for parental 'admin' or emotional support (Ruth Bader Ginsberg's remark on her son's school only calling her when they needed to consult a parent springs to mind).
Lastly, and most pertinently, this may involve not being responsible for all of the internet's feelings, including those of people you don't necessarily like or who have not been good for your own wellbeing.
Women are allowed to unshackle themselves from this obligation to care for and 'be nice' to everyone disproportionately, which may have no healthy boundaries, and can have the effect of depleting and exhausting us so that we have nothing left to give to the people in our own lives who are most important to us, as well as ourselves.
Attempting to guilt women into having feelings that they have 'let people down' by ever expressing negative or critical comments is policing our inner lives in a way that is not conducive to progress.
This burden is laid at our door and caring traits are prized in 'good' women in a way that is not true of the male experience.
I think that women internalise this with the effect that we feel 'bad' for 'not being nice' to other people, especially other women, even when we have no real obligation to 'look after' these people's welfare.
I think that Sali looks at this site through this lens - that we have an obligation to 'be nice' to her - and that, likewise, past guilty commenters feel bad for 'talking badly' about Sali and 'upsetting' her [for the record, I do believe that Becky is real].
Part of empowering women so that we can live lives with equal chances is allowing us to have more control over those we choose to care for. This may involve not automatically being the allotted carer to an old parent, or not assuming the majority of household chores when both partners work the same hours; it might also involve not always being the go to parent for parental 'admin' or emotional support (Ruth Bader Ginsberg's remark on her son's school only calling her when they needed to consult a parent springs to mind).
Lastly, and most pertinently, this may involve not being responsible for all of the internet's feelings, including those of people you don't necessarily like or who have not been good for your own wellbeing.
Women are allowed to unshackle themselves from this obligation to care for and 'be nice' to everyone disproportionately, which may have no healthy boundaries, and can have the effect of depleting and exhausting us so that we have nothing left to give to the people in our own lives who are most important to us, as well as ourselves.
Attempting to guilt women into having feelings that they have 'let people down' by ever expressing negative or critical comments is policing our inner lives in a way that is not conducive to progress.
Yes. Jess Phillips said later she was offering to pass the details the person's MP via DM. Obviously a non blue tick wouldn't be able to get an MP's attention like Caitlin did. But the suggestion that Jess Phillips "sorted out the passport..." is potentially libellous. It would be resigning matter if she did - and she wouldn't be able to because the Passport Office couldn't expediate a passport application in less than 24 hours because of an MP enquiring on behalf of someone outside their constituency.
But Caitmin Moran offering to bribe someone to sort out her mate's child's passport just shows how re oved from reality columnists and media types are. It's The Passport Office! It's not like employees being bribed could compromise national security or anything!
There would be *very* strict circumstances and electronic trails for accessing any application. And spot checks to check the trail and the reason for access. 
This was Caitlin's original tweet. Apologies going off topic.
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I always rated Jess Phillips. I'm disappointed to read this.
I finally semi listened to the R4 thing. I just am absolutely bowled over at the audacity of Sali to put her experience in the same league as that of Jess Phillips or the girl whose father died. Seriously, that takes some brass neck.
the other influencer person I have no clue about. I would hazard a guess that if it didn’t suit her purpose, Sali wouldn’t touch her story with a barge pole.
the having an actress play ‘Becky’ seemed beyond ridiculous to me, probably especially coming after an interview with Jess Phillips who has dealt with rape/death threats, needs enhanced security at her home for her entire family etc. What did ‘Becky’ do? possibly questioned Sali’s undisclosed botox treatments? Perhaps made a callous comment about her #Ad integrity? Called her husband a Tory?
the other influencer person I have no clue about. I would hazard a guess that if it didn’t suit her purpose, Sali wouldn’t touch her story with a barge pole.
the having an actress play ‘Becky’ seemed beyond ridiculous to me, probably especially coming after an interview with Jess Phillips who has dealt with rape/death threats, needs enhanced security at her home for her entire family etc. What did ‘Becky’ do? possibly questioned Sali’s undisclosed botox treatments? Perhaps made a callous comment about her #Ad integrity? Called her husband a Tory?
She contributed to the pile-on and bullying of Diane Abbott for no apparent reason, even after it was made known that she receives more abuse than any other female MP.
Yes, it was quite unusual for these types of programme to not have any examples of the abuse. Surely quoting Becky's words back to her would have been the norm?
I'm glad you got some free legal advice courtesy of the BBC, Sali. Like getting an MP's attention on Twitter it's not an option open to most.
(Perhaps SH is referring to something else here but that's how it reads to me.)
I'm glad you got some free legal advice courtesy of the BBC, Sali. Like getting an MP's attention on Twitter it's not an option open to most.
(Perhaps SH is referring to something else here but that's how it reads to me.)
SH kept going on about pile ons in her doc and on Radio 5 earlier. I wonder what Owen Jones would think? (And Esther Coren too of course.) SH kept saying Owen Jones was aetting his followers on *her* when she initiated it by quote tweeting him. The term gaslighting could be used to describe such behaviour. (SH chipped in after Sarah Ditum started another another pile on of Jones over a comment he made about cleaners and her insistence that he said everyone's got more time to clean during lockdown, which he hadn't. Even though SH had said in her column the previous Sat that we all had more time. Is that gaslighting?)
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I found this site after the original meltdown, signed up had a poke about and couldn't see what all the fuss was about. I listened to her "My Troll Hell" radio thing and remain baffled, there was certainly a programme to be made about the woman who was trolled by conspiracy nutjobs and about the abuse MPs such as Jess Phillips experience but folk thinking some writer is a dick is pretty weak stuff. I used to have a lot of time for Sali and whilst her Guardian column has had it's ups and downs I still enjoy reading it for the most part and often find it very helpful. I had also followed her on Twitter over many years and had rather gained the impression that she enjoyed a good catty remark as much as the next gal but perhaps I was understandably confused by the periodic outbreaks of cattiness on her timeline.
All in all I'm afraid I find her behaviour over this peculiar and thin skinned, unless she can highlight which specific comments cross the line it's hard to see it all as anything other than a tantrum. My main takeaway from it all is that I now really, really want to know what zingers "Becky" had been posting that she now feels so awful about.
All in all I'm afraid I find her behaviour over this peculiar and thin skinned, unless she can highlight which specific comments cross the line it's hard to see it all as anything other than a tantrum. My main takeaway from it all is that I now really, really want to know what zingers "Becky" had been posting that she now feels so awful about.
For anyone who might want to know about SH and Tattle, @Yel suggests they look at two things: the list of most-liked posts across all the SH threads and the SH Wiki. I think these two together give a really good overview - the Wiki gives the history (which is still relevant) and the most-liked posts give an idea of the type of concern discussed. I'm not sure that a third piece, covering the same ground but describing things a bit differently, is needed.Hi, I've tried to put together peoples issues over her behavior in one article with receipts.
What do you think? Am I missing anything?
What about having a much shorter Lime Goss piece that just focuses on the recent BBC/Guardian platform and Tattle users' response to it - and then for the detail gives the links to the most-liked posts and the Wiki? I think that would be snappier, would draw attention to recent events and complement what's already there.
If you do want to stick with the current content, a couple of points of accuracy:
- You may have picked this up but if not... it refers to EJ as being IK's husband (as well as, later, to IK as his wife)
- Referring still to EJ, I'd suggest '...it's unclear if his partner India or her friend Sali knew' It is known that SH and IK were friends but not known whether SH and EJ were friends.
- Under 'Stalking Accusations', as far as I know only one person's child's photo was 'liked'. So would suggest: '...as, amongst other things, they're alleged to have found a photo of a person's child on Facebook and 'liked' it. This is a member of the public who has expressed...'
- Still under 'Stalking Accusations' maybe best to avoid speculating that she might have used data from her forums (I'm no expert but that might not be legal practice)
- Still under 'Stalking Accusations', again I'm only aware of one person having received a 'friend request'
- Under 'Changing views', SH had been writing about aspects of her personal life for many years before she became an influencer (writing about her personal life didn't just start with The Pool). Probably best to omit '....and writing about her private life.'
- Under 'Why SH has a thread on Tattle'. We aren't 'speculating'. In place of the current first sentence, I'd suggest: 'In the SH threads on Tattle people comment on the content she puts online.'
- In the sample of posts you include, I'd have thought the first one (no 952 on thread #21 - by far the most 'liked') was worth including in full.
- In the sample of posts, can you add the one from @Too Much (no 73 on this thread)? It was posted here after your draft. If you need to make space for it, do feel free to lose my long and dull post giving the provenance of the 'free nanny' comment.
I'm more of a lurker than a poster (but I am guilty of leaving multiple tabs open while I'm working on the other laptop/leaving the sewer, so may be partly held to account for the 16+ hours spent by users here). I don't think I ever mentioned it, but it was Sali's initial rant that drew me to this site. I only had a passing knowledge of her then and scrolled through many a thread trying to find out what it was this woman was doing that incited such vitriol.
It's all been covered before, so it's redundant to point out what the issues are with Sali. I never explicitly trusted her word as gospel, but did take her words with a grain of truth. I know better now, and it's not only because of this site. It's also because of her own words. A quick skim through her Twitter feed alone shows the unabashed self-pitying and woe-is-me attitude we're all now familiar with.
I'll sign off by saying that I'm quite fond of rats and have no issues being likened to one. There's even a temple in India that worships them.
It's all been covered before, so it's redundant to point out what the issues are with Sali. I never explicitly trusted her word as gospel, but did take her words with a grain of truth. I know better now, and it's not only because of this site. It's also because of her own words. A quick skim through her Twitter feed alone shows the unabashed self-pitying and woe-is-me attitude we're all now familiar with.
I'll sign off by saying that I'm quite fond of rats and have no issues being likened to one. There's even a temple in India that worships them.
I often leave tabs open too for hours while I do other things - I've definitely racked up some time
I can't sleep and have just gone on Sali's Instagram, which I very rarely do as I don't use Instagram and I normally see things she posts through people reposting here.
Anyway, I noticed that she has 'Insanitygroup.com' in her bio, which felt like a social media management agency, so I looked and it is very much an agency that deals with influencers.
Sali is featured on two pages: 'Digital Talent' (influencers) and 'Broadcast'.
Their digital talent roster really didn't impress me. I was expecting to recognise more people. I read and post on quite a few threads here, and I didn't recognise anyone they represented until I got to 'L' in the alphabet - an ex Made In Chelsea cast member. In my opinion, Sali sticks out like a sore thumb and I am vaguely astonished that she has consented to be featured in this category - I would very much have thought that she would have thought the company was beneath her. Link here: https://www.insanitygroup.com/digital/
Their 'broadcast' roster seems more her speed - I recognised a few radio presenters (including Jo Whiley), a few tv presenters, a fashion journalist, Roman and Martin Kemp, Nicola Adams, along with someone who used to be in Girls Aloud, someone who used to be on TOWIE, the ex Made in Chelsea person and her brother. https://www.insanitygroup.com/broadcast/
I wonder if signing with them/expanding into their 'Digital Talent' division has been a recent move?
Anyway, I noticed that she has 'Insanitygroup.com' in her bio, which felt like a social media management agency, so I looked and it is very much an agency that deals with influencers.
Sali is featured on two pages: 'Digital Talent' (influencers) and 'Broadcast'.
Their digital talent roster really didn't impress me. I was expecting to recognise more people. I read and post on quite a few threads here, and I didn't recognise anyone they represented until I got to 'L' in the alphabet - an ex Made In Chelsea cast member. In my opinion, Sali sticks out like a sore thumb and I am vaguely astonished that she has consented to be featured in this category - I would very much have thought that she would have thought the company was beneath her. Link here: https://www.insanitygroup.com/digital/
Their 'broadcast' roster seems more her speed - I recognised a few radio presenters (including Jo Whiley), a few tv presenters, a fashion journalist, Roman and Martin Kemp, Nicola Adams, along with someone who used to be in Girls Aloud, someone who used to be on TOWIE, the ex Made in Chelsea person and her brother. https://www.insanitygroup.com/broadcast/
I wonder if signing with them/expanding into their 'Digital Talent' division has been a recent move?
I have gone down the rabbit hole of looking at the influencers on this site - this woman’s bio is like someone doing a comedy about Influencers
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Leaving a 'heart' reaction didn't seem quite enough, I think this post is excellent. Every day feels like it comes with a micro challenge; my housemate not bothering with housework until told to so, my boss making sexualised and sexist remarks, the women I work with being described as scary rather than assertive, the expectation that 'women support women' and we're witches if we don't, planning for Christmas being left to the women in my family because heaven forbid the menfolk do anything other than whinge about having turkey, and I feel quite energised by what you've written.
And with that, I'm off to fight the patriachy!
Yes. She takes pride in it.
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