Cool Anna things-touching my boobs etc song by JONATHAN because he lost the footage, typical.
Hey Guys, this is a sponsored video, but don't skip it I need my housekeeper, I can do cool things now, like leave the house. Emilia has been struggling since lockdown in math because I was her teacher and that just screwed her up, now this sponsor has offered to try and fix my mistakes. Thank God for this sponsor, because she has been getting one on one help, that private school I pay for isn't worth shit. Look at this clip of me exploiting my child, it's like a full-on commercial. These people made me put in a lot of effort to get my money, unlike that face-what-ever-it-was. I'm so grateful for this sponsor, because not only was I paid, I don't have to interact with my child and try to teach what I don't even know. I was smart, but not anymore, stupid rubs off guys. I go on and on about my child, telling you things that really aren't your business about her skill in math, but look I'm being paid. Here's the link, click on it, I get this for free and I send my kid to an expensive private school, but you get 10% off your purchase. NOW ON WITH THE SHOW! It's cooking guys, what did you think I was going to do? So I have been, look at my sweater, it's pink, it's like a dress, but not. I got this from Zara last week because my friend was busy and not answering my calls to see if this was okay to buy. When I showed her, she said next time wait on her, but it's fine to cook in. I'm making a curry and trying to do all-vegetable meals because I'm ethical, remember, animals. I point out the vegetables, the dogs see the fox and bark here. Good thing to know they are still there, because this won't go to waste. Here's the dogs, here's the cookbook. I swear every time I go to film the dog's bark, you'd think the foxes wouldn't bother them anymore, but then again they haven't been walked and I'm not going to do it. Here I show you the veggies like y'all want to see this. This curry is going to be strong, why is the lighting blue, the curry is going to be strong, I hope the kids don't notice the vegetables. I hope they are blind for dinner. Butternut squash isn't really a vegetable, it is, but it's not, but it's a sweet vegetable so it doesn't count as a vegetable. Oh look at this busted dog, so brown and gross, let me touch it. More busted dogs, let me touch them and dig my nails into them and proceed to cook. WE ARE STILL COOKING. I'm not gonna lie the smell is amazing, looks like poo, but these are paste pots. I don't know if it's because we aren't eating meat, was it last week, or the week before, or the month after, anywho, and nobody liked it, it was really weird, cause they all used to love it, and I don't know, I was bloated, or full, or something and JONATHAN said to leave it off because he dictates everything. Now I get a can of chickpeas, do I drain them, I don't know, does that mean the same thing as add-in with the juices? WE ARE STILL COOKING. I didn't add in chili pepper, y'all all still here? I'M DONE. I don't know if the kids are going to like this, but you already know this because I made an Instagram story of this whole thing. Look at this angle, like I couldn't have put the camera down and got a better story, no I needed to get this out. Look at my anemic wreath, so cute. It's gloomy guys, like horror movie-type weather, kinda like our rotting pumpkins. I like Monday pick-ups because I don't have to do anything after. Oh, my whatever that sound was, I have to do my trick so I don't hear U2. My cars getting serviced soon, so that's fun, we finally have the money. I like Mondays here I repeat myself but with details. Here I complain, then drive off.
MY EYES!!
Okay, it's me JONATHAN, it's late at night and we are in Christmas pajamas because we are surprising our kids with a Christmas magical experience sponsored by Lapland. All the kids get an envelope and I spew out stupid crap about naughty lists to get them all going. Emilia doesn't buy my shit and cuts me down, I take it. I have no idea how to stop it. I try it again, no one cares. I get read the letter by Edwardo, good thing, I can't read. I can't understand though cause everyone is talking over one another. It's a Christmas miracle I can read. Anna is reading aloud now, still, no one is paying attention. Andrea is headed up the stairs confused because no one is really explaining anything. I'm glad this is sponsored, the real Santa would have flown over this house. Anna is still reading, they still aren't paying attention, except Alessia, (and I'm really afraid she's going to poke her eye out with her hands all over her face ) to what's being said and I have to make sure I get a shot of Andrea wearing women's shoes. Emilia cuts her eyes at me, again I take it. Andera is thinking Santa is outside, I egg it on saying I saw an Elf. Alessia is worried about the dogs being alone, but we are GOING TO LAPLAND. whatever the hell that is... no one could understand a word. FIN