Printed handwritten letter. So personal

I wouldn’t fancy writing 200 letters but she’s only writing 4!
Yup, the letters will be 4 variants of:
"Dear Friend,
I hope I can call you 'friend'. Your money is coarsing through my bank account, after all, which makes us like currency-siblings in a way. I've always wanted a sister.
Thankyou most very much for the monetary marrow transplant. I assure you that this money will genuinely be reinvested into a fundraising scheme to build letter-writing monuments in all orphanages nationwide.
It rained today. The kind of rain that makes you wish that rain could live inside your bedroom*.
The honeysuckle melon drops flowered budfully in the garden, the bumblebees bumbled beefully in the bramble bush and the clouds pirouetted like misty ballerinas that were fathered by sky-moisture.
But hark! What chirping through yonder window breaks? It is a lesser-spotted bald eagle which lives in my garden. My extensive research tells me these are exceedingly rare in England. One day I hope to see this bird and not just hear its call. I will share tea with this eagle to pay tribute to my most favourite tea company: Bird & Blend.
I hope you've had more than just a productive letter-opening session. I spent mine doing some work, writing a novel and enjoying a refreshing Remedy Kombucha.
Yours me-fully,
Ruby.
*P.S. Don't try to open up your radiator pipes to make bedroom rain. I tried this and mummy wasn't very happy at all.
P.P.S. This letter is NOT AN AD and honestly NOT SPONSORED AT ALL. I just happen to really like things that give me money."