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"There's nothing quite like seeing a letter with your name handwritten on the front."
Well, except for...I don't know, maybe having the letter inside the envelope be meant for you? And actually be a letter?
Ruby JANUINELY just wanted to do this for the love of LATTER WROYTING! It's HONNASTLEE NWOT JOSST ANOTHA CHARITEEEA SCAM! It's this love of letter-writing that inspired her to...(checks notes)...bulk-print a selection of pre-written letters onto cardstock, with a 1 inch border on all sides, so that the look, feel and experience doesn't resemble getting a letter at all.
As expected, she won't be writing 200 letters in a month for charity. She's planning on getting her new assistant Martha to print out 50 copies of 4 prewritten letters, slap some stockpiled stamps on and send them to some unfortunate souls daft enough to part with £10.
No doubt she'll weigh up the cost and minor effort involved, lose interest after posting half a dozen and just say the rest got lost in the post while pocketing the cash for herself. If quizzed about how much the charity got sent, Ruby has her excuse teed up: Only the
profits go to charity and I'm sure she'll claim that after the cost of card, stamps, ink and envelopes, there were no profits.
At least this time around it seems less like her usual creepy Peter Pan tendencies in action and more just another straight-up lazy scam. She won't be writing to anyone or giving them the opportunity to write back. She's just getting fans to pay a premium for the slim opportunity to receive some junk mail.
This might be her laziest, stupidest scam yet.