what…Mummy Bones has graced us with another tall tale of domestic disaster and assures us that - just like Ruby - she's JANUINELY A JARMAPHYOBE, HONNASTLEE while seemingly going out of her way to jam her hands into dog shit:
Dirty Hands
(When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your hand sanitizer...)I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...I was walking my lovely Lola on one...www.whatapalaver.co
I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...
I was walking my lovely Lola on one of our daily walks when she decided to do her morning poo. I rustled in my pocket and produced a flimsy bag to pick up the steaming deposit. The only thing was that as I was scooping up the poop, the side of my hand got smeared with the stuff. Freaking out, I wiped the debris on some nearby grass, before double bagging it and putting it in my 'warming pocket'. I had decided to dedicate my outer left pocket of my coat to storing bagged up dog poo until I could dispose of it in a bin.
Two days later and exactly the same thing happened but this time, I only had one bag with me and, luckily, some tissues. I wrapped tissue around the overflowing, undone bag and held my parcel upright during the remainder of my walk - looking like I was holding a small baby's soiled nappy. I got home, threw it in the bin and scrubbed my hands red raw clean. The next day, I invested in some heavy duty dog poo bags for future events such as these.
Later in the week, I popped into the supermarket to pick up some lunch bits en route to my friend's house but as I had time on my hands, I grabbed a takeaway coffee. I put the shopping on the passenger seat of my car, balanced the coffee cup on the central bit and gingerly shut the door before walking around to the driver's seat. I was looking forward to ten minutes sipping my coffee and reading a chapter of my book before I was on my merry way. In the time I opened the car door and sat down, I had forgotten about the coffee (brainfog alert) and managed to swipe my elbow into it and spill over the car seat covers. Argh. Luckily, it did have a lid on so not all was spilt - just a stream of hot liquid from the hole in the top. I wiped up the mess with a tissue and tried to rectify the situation but not feeling like Sarah Jessica-Parker, as I had intended, while I drank my coffee and turned the pages of my book with sticky fingers.
The next day, I attended an art class for the first time in years and I forgot how much fun it is to paint. There were about thirty women my age group and we met in a church hall with coffee shop attached, chatting, drinking and painting canvases - attempting to create pictures of bowls with lemons or hydrangeas in. It was such a colourful experience and I was on a high afterwards. We all managed to cover our hands with splotches of paint, plus the odd splodge on our cheeks.
So, my hands have been covered in a few different substances to usual but I have to say that 'clean dirt' such as paint and coffee is my ultimate preference to dog poo (you don't say). I will certainly make sure I keep a supply of hand sanitizer and tissues to hand for the forseeable.