Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity

[Satisfying Click]

I'd LOVE to see this girl on speed

Oym a bit ofah perfectionist AcTuAlLy!

 

[gossip_guy]

Ruby likes the boarding school setting. Why am I not surprised?

View attachment 2013018

Hmm, back on the YA boarding school murder mysteries... Is she back to the drawing board on Lottie Parton and ripping more stuff off?

- Turns out Ruby's father does exist as he is mentioned in this chapter! Only because Ruby reminds him he needs to put up a wind turbine in the garden.

This is another thing that always interests me about Ruby's self-insert, wish fulfilment writing: Her dad's always mysteriously absent, completely forgotten or banished from the family entirely.

In Erimentha she forgot that her dad was a character and in the synopsis of Lottie Parton, she'd divorced her parents and then sent her step-dad on an extended holiday seemingly so he didn't have to write any new fatherly scenes when recycling Erimentha's plot.

Given how all the other relationships seem to be exaggerated versions of her own family dynamics, it's a little odd to say the least.

 

[DrinaM]

Erimentha Parker Chapter 17:

Plot -
- The girls are in textiles and are making felt. Kimberly asks to borrow the bottle of soapy water. Ruby says no and she will have to wait. Kimberly takes the orange soap water and sprays it on Ruby. Kimberly threatens to spray it on Ruby's face unless she admits she is scared of her.
- Things get a bit weird, dark and unrealistic. Kimberly takes Ruby to the bathroom to help her 'clean up'. She then blocks the door and shows Ruby she smuggled a sewing needle into her jumper. She threatens Ruby and basically makes Ruby agree to lie and not tell her parents what happened to her shirt. I have included the full quote of her "stabbing" Ruby because it is just weird, unnecessary and just completely the wrong tone for a book aimed at kids. Just remember as well its a needle, not a knife
- After that whole event, Ruby changes into her spare uniform and throws away the orange stained shirt so her mum won't find out
- Ruby starts spending her lunches sat next to Ella in the library (Kimberly's younger sister who is year 5 I think?)
- One day Ruby goes to the library and Ella is crying. Turns out she is being bullied by two girls in her class. Ruby says they should tell her teacher. Ella asks if Ruby will tell a teacher about her bullying as well and Ruby says no, saying she isn't being bullied and that she is older and can cope with it (great advice to give a kid ...)
- Ella is scared to tell the teacher and Ruby decides to let the child continue being bullied since it might not fully be counted as repetitive yet

Quotes -
- "On Wednesday, we make felt in textiles and, as is customary, I am rather ahead of my classmates" (I have no words)
- "For a second I just stare blankly, unable to comprehend the hatred in those icy eyes"
- "A broken stream of rich orange flies in an arch between us and the dye seeps through the cotton of my shirt like blood from a wound" (Ruby please stop reminding me of working in surgery I hate this)
- "She stops and directs the nozzle at my face, holding it so close that it is blurry: light focused behind the retina"
- "Before I have a chance to move away, she has grabbed my wrist sharply. My carpal bone aches against her strong hands" (I am begging you please stop)
- "She takes the needle and hovers it over the inside of my arm, tracing the skin in mid air as though deciding the best point of contact. Then she lowers it: carefully and deliberately. The tip of the needle presses so hard against the sallow epithelial tissue that a depression forms in the skin. Applying the same pressure, she moves down my arm, leaving a trail of white and I watch quietly. She pauses when she reaches my central forearm, her eyes boring into my forehead, and mine focused on the needle: mesmerised. She pushes down. Hard. It pierces the skin and a bead of blood swells from the pinprick, growing to the size of a pea before trickling down towards the crease of my elbow. She washes the needle under the tap and threads it back through her jumper as I nurse the small wound with my mouth, wincing at the metallic crimson on my tongue" (small PSA, if you do get a sharps injury from a dirty needle like this, please don't lick the blood, let the wound bleed and then wash it and get medical assistance)
- "My epiglottis seizes up, as though I have swallowed a tablet withiut water"

I'm getting Trainspotting vibes. Tablets, needles, bead of blood, mesmerised, pinprick, best point of contact.
Bloody hell.
As for 'carpal bone'...which one? My father is an orthopaedic surgeon with a Sports Medicine practice, so I've heard him name the various carpal bones quite often lol.
But i have a serious question. If the bully's eyes are boring in to Ruby's forehead, but Ruby's eyes are focused and mesmerised on the needle being dragged down her forearm, how does she know that the bully's eyes are boring in to her forehead? She can't do first person AND the all seeing narrator at the same time. It just doesn't work.

 

[pinkmug]

True to my word, I take a long drink from the water fountain, feeling the cold water against and down the back of my throat. My stomach feels full after a few seconds and I wonder just how much water it takes to kill a person. I make myself a note on my Post-it pad to find out

Chapter 12 twist: she is going to waterboard Kimberley.

 

[Daredevil]

 

[gisellejoly]

I hope she didn't get in. I'd lose respect for Oxford if she did.

Idk why so many people seem to think everyone who goes to Oxford is super intelligent and deserving of a place there. Of course there are many students with brilliant academics there who get there through hard work and merit. But for every one of those people there’s a Ruby (and tbh, a lot of them are even posher, more privileged, and less academic than Ruby) I’ve encountered enough unintelligent uninspiring oxbridge students to realise that.
I thought it was common knowledge that oxbridge is full of posh gits of slightly above average intellect.

 

[Griftwood]

Brace yourselves, she has blessed us with another pome

 

[gossip_guy]

I remember he got the 3 A* for A level, easily beating Ruby despite doing far less work, but I didn't know he also got a better first at uni. That's a bit embarrassing in light of how Ruby did little other than study. I do wish she'd acknowledge the problems in her methods rather than keep brainwashing her followers about 11 hour study days...

Yeah, he got the highest grades possible at A level and a First for his degree (I think Ruby's individual module grades were slightly higher, but not by much) but Oxford were still like "Nahhh, we're good, please stop applying".

I think they both have the same problems where Oxford's concerned. Neither of them actually wanted to study there or put any thought into what the uni could actually offer them that they couldn't get elsewhere, they just wanted to go to the "best" uni because they believed they were entitled to it.

It sounds like that shone through in Jack's application - he was crying about how he was a business owner (nope) and an author (nope) and a content creator (eh) and it still wasn't good enough, and considering that's the stuff he chose to highlight, it just shines a light on how entitled he is and how little thought he'd put into why he wanted to go to uni again.

I think Ruby will hit the same barrier, because she has no interest in studying, is terrible at faking it and has nothing going on beyond her YouTube content, which I doubt will impress anyone.

 

[ariawyn]

what a romantic gift ... a planner that falls apart.

“I will love you until the last page falls out of this planner.”

It falls apart the next day. It’s a break up gift.

 

[Griftwood]

She can’t still be ”working”, can she? This ski trip doesn’t coordinate with the school’s half term at all. Ugh, I wish she’d tell us what’s going on, I don’t care about the Seraphimic glow of porous Gucci bags or whatever.

Also I feel like we’re entitled to more than one video a week, it’s not like she’s busy and isn’t it uncomfortable for her to have all that pent-up cringe content just waiting to be unleashed unto the world?

 

[gossip_guy]

what does she mean with "solo studying"? I've heard of "solo traveling" but "solo studying"?! is it a fancier term for studying by yourself...? does she think "solo studying" means studying without having to study for school/university?

Well, Ruby's definition of a "solo trip" is "a trip where mummy is also in the car", so I'm assuming "solo studying" is "pretending to still be in school while mummy stands by the bedroom door to shout words of encouragement".

 

[DrinaM]

Her accent is getting more and more ridiculous. The animated eyebrows like Groucho Marx and the claw thing she does with her hand. The way she sits there chortling and chatting at the camera about the characters in the books like they are people she knows and is spilling the tea on

 

[Thehogonthelog]

In her newest tiktok - an outfit fit for a Sunday Rooby dresses up again in crumpled clothes again. This time she even acknowleges the state of the clothes. But what shocked me, was when she showed the state of her mother's wardrobe. Clothes bundled toghether, mixed in a big pile, instead of neatly folded up in the drawer.

Rooby obviously takes after her mother when it comes to caring about things, but as an ~influencer~
or a person with large following online that focuses on ~aesthetics~ she should put more care into the way she looks. She obviously wants to, since she carefully picks out her outfits, but they're always sloppy, unironed and her hair is a mess.

And of course... Sunday is her FAVOURITE day of the week.

 

[gossip_guy]

Am I the only one who reads 18:15 on the post-it note?
Mind you I was fully ready to accept that Ruby's "traditional job" was a 9 hours a week endeavor but looking at the post-it note that looks like 18:15 to me? Do I need to get my eyes checked?

It's a bit blurry, but definitely says 13:15.

 

[DrinaM]

Tbh I refuse to believe it until she states it outright. It's mind-boggling, this girl has the functional literacy of a newt and she's not even afraid to publicly flaunt it several times a day

I agree. And i think it will be a good thing if she gets declined. She needs a fucking huuuge wake-up call. Its the best thing Oxford can do for her, decline her application. She is losing her grip on reality. Being denied a place in the Oxford Masters program will force her to re-think what the hell she is doing with her life. Her identity is so wrapped up in being 'academic' and 'productive', its unhealthy.

 

[DrinaM]

Someone corrected her, so she changed the spelling lol

 

[pinkmug]

Probably mummy is standing by watching the oven for her 20 something womanchild daughter's kitchen adventures while she's in the fields frolicking. I don't believe for a moment that she's home alone lol.

 

[gossip_guy]

And finally, yet another planner offer!

I'm so glad you mentioned that, I'd completely missed that bit when skimming the video!

"Plannars are noaw TAN POUNDS and oiy YEEZE these plannars avvery day and oiy rilly have troid tyo make it the parrfackt plannar!"

I can spot at least three things that aren't true in there. Even at "TAN" pounds, they'd be at least £9 too expensive, but planners are still £18.50 and buy one, get one free for some reason - an offer that's proven highly popular!

She's claiming she designed and made these again when she's already admitted before that someone else designed them for her.

She's also still claiming to "yeeze" it every day, but she's added a full planner flicktrough of her academic planner on TikTok and she's filled out exactly two pages since the planner launched months ago, and it's all pretend entries where she make-believes she's still in school:

And the footage of her "yeezing" her planner in this video just recycles all the same footage she used in her planner launch videos.

It's always been so obvious that she doesn't use these products herself (she whips out a Rhodia notebook to use in this video again rather than use a Bonkinbradactivity notebook).

She only fills something in when it's time to do an ad every month and she can't use the same planner consistently since it'd quickly look battered and fall apart if she were carrying this around with her and actually using it thanks to their poor quality. So she just grabs a new one from her stockpile when it's time for an ad so it'll look pristine, and she's too lazy to just take 10 minutes to fill out a month or two of fake entries at once to keep up the lie.

I'm so glad this brand is dying a swift death. She owes everyone who ever fell for that shit a long overdue refund.

 

[paulpercy666]

View attachment 1984822
Are we cruising towards an Oxford era?!

oh my god she’s been accepted hasn’t she

 

[vwxyz]

To those of you who asked (sorry for the delayed response), I think Ruby was not referring to herself, but to a friend she actually had whose name was Ruby too. I remember old videos in which she met this other Ruby. Both were obsessed with very similar things like Harry Potter, being different from the other girls, studying, writing letters etc., and had a similar sense of "aesthetic". I later found that other Ruby on Instagram and she had changed a lot, having a more emo-look and a lot of tattoos. I'd like to know why they don't seem to be in touch anymore.

EDIT: Just rewatched that "how dare you" video after many years had passed and omg. In German we have a verb we use when someone seems to be so excited or proud of themselves that it seems they're making themselves feel horny. I had to think about that.