Ruby Granger #35 Hello, it's Flu-bee!

[StatusWoe]

I mean, she keeps on talking about "the space between the eyes" when talking about being mindful, when I'm sure what she should be saying is "what's right in front of me". This is the second time she's said it this month.

I've never heard anyone use this expression. How weird! I wonder if it's some obscure yoga technique.

 

[VallegGirl]

When I first started at my job some months ago, I had a planner. But now I'm doing everything on outlook or one note.

Yes, exactly what I used. Everything she does is so year 7, 8 & 9 (9 at a stretch)

 

[StatusWoe]

According to Oxford Uni postgrad selection criteria (for the English dept). Note that Ruby fulfils the #1 criteria. Wouldn't be surprised if she's accepted, though she does need to provide written work which 'will be assessed for its analytical and critical acumen' haha.

Spoiler: Screenshots

I also searched for a course related to manuscripts/archival studies but can't find anything, so her application must be for a literature course (there's more than one - they're divided by time period).

 

[DrinaM]

I find uncarley so unbearable. She talks about the same few books all the time and is so sarcastic and clearly just copies phrases she heard on TikTok or something. She reminds me of Jack Edwards - everything is “unhinged” “a red flag” “if you like this book you have mental illness”. I think it’s so funny that she does stand up comedy, I imagine it’s super cringey.

The best booktuber I’ve come across (and one of the only ones who actually comes across as a lovely normal person) is a Canadian girl called Emmie. She’s really well read and intelligent, I definitely recommend her to anyone!

hahaha She does come across as kinda bitchy and sarcastic but I personally find that cheerful to have on in the background while I do things around my house. Small doses too, because the unhinged, red flag does get a bit cringey. I couldn't imagine going to one of her stand ups tho. That would be overload. For me its simple: she talks about books, she's kinda funny.

I'll try to find the Emmie you mention. Sounds like a solid recommendation.

 

[bookworm39]

What Ruby could have done but hasn't while "writing her book"

 

[hart301]

I’m sorry but it is so embarrassing seeing Ruby wear vineyard vines when in the US it’s associated with douchebag frat bros and rich old white people. I know she got it when she was in Boston but it’s just so out of touch to be wearing that when she’s talking about how people back then lived in poverty.

 

[lmwfh17]

So when exactly is she starting the teaching aka „normal job”?

she should have already started, according to the website term begins on the 5th

 

[DrinaM]

Do we have a title for #36?
I liked the suggestion by @Daredevil
It covers everything that is relevant right now. 1. the crime against humanity that is her accent. 2. the other crime against humanity that is her waste of paper/planners that she can't seem to get rid of for love or money.
I love how people aren't even entering her competition to win them (based off the tiktok comments ive read)

 

[Calabria]

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NASA standing for Not Any Sodding Ambition I presume?

 

[Hannahebee]

Speaking of creeps, there is a glass of something white sitting on the sink before she brushes her teeth. It looks like a glass of milk. Why is it there? Was it there all night? Has it been there for days? Could it possibly be some kind of mouthwash? What. Is. It.

It looks like a candle.

 

[emmer_moans]

Really, she should get her license. If she can't fathom being able to handle city and highway driving, fine, but she should at least be able to navigate the country roads in her own neighborhood. How stressful could that be? I can't imagine living in the boonies without being able to drive. That's not just inconvenient, it's dangerous. Is she just going to rely on her mother to ferry her around forever? If she did nothing else with this "gap year" she should've at least done that---it might even have boosted her confidence and made her willing to branch out a little.

Exactly, this year off would have been a perfect time for her to have as many lessons as she needs, she has the means to throw a lot of time/money at it to get it done. Years ago I had to manage 1 lesson a week around shift rotations, because I could barely afford one lesson a week and barely had the time during normal hours. She could have passed by now. Then again, if she’s barely eating any calories perhaps she shouldn’t be behind the wheel, I would be concerned about her concentration.

 

[alicesealcat]

I can’t get my head round the fact that she gets paid real money to go to her real job and she turns up in clothes that aren’t ironed. You’re not cosplaying any more Ruby, it’s a professional environment

I remember my first job when I lived at home - my mother would literally stop me by the front door and tell me that I couldn’t go out like that if I had a hole in my tights I hadn’t noticed or something was creased. Why is mother bones so incapable of teaching her children basic social norms?

To be fair I work in a primary school as a TA (newly graduated) and I go to work in a t-shirt and black jeans, maybe sometimes even leggings. No one seems to care much, it's the learning that's important. But you never know I might have ironed her skirt if I was wearing it..

 

[bookworm39]

omg Her new video.

1. Still proving to us that not only can she not light a candle properly, she also hasn't got enough air in her consumptive lungs to blow a single flame out. Also cannot sleep. Hello Anxiety.
2. Sees dog. Talks and calls to dog. Dog runs away.
3. Sees mother. Talks and calls to Mother. Mother looks up with angry "can't you give me any peace?" eyes and takes a deep breath. Not happy to be entertaining her daughter for yet another semester or 2, or 5, or another decade.
4. Unclaimed ads everywhere. Tea, her planner, Kombucha drink, and her dream of a Waterstones sponsorship.
5. List, lists and more lists. List everything you can. Of course, by the time you have listed all these things, you could have actually done them twice over, as well as a bunch of other things and been even more productive than, well, making more lists.
6. New Year's resolutions. Goes on and on about how it is okay to fail in making resolutions or keeping up with them. Obviously this is for herself, not actually for anyone else, because most people don't fret about it, either way.
7. Her actual resolutions. Go to bed and get up earlier. Get a better routine. Write more. Well, aren't those challenging! This woman has no goals.
8. The sadness of her collar. WTF is going on here? A white piece of material cut out like a kid who was just introduced to scissors? Fraying, nothing sewed except perhaps frantically the blue ribbon to tie this piece of crap on? What the?
9. Just another flyby, badly edited, choppy and useless video from the most boring YouTuber ever. For someone who is so into productivity, she is a complete waste of time.

It's just popped up on my YouTube front page. Should I watch it or should I run away screaming?

 

[theMoth]

how did they select the panel members? could people apply or did they asked Ruby specifically?

 

[flowerbomb99]

she could at least walk to work, but I guess someone has to drive her... (how far can that be?)

It’s a 40 minute walk

 

[lmwfh17]

Also hate the "Miss" and "Mrs" distinction.

why? it’s quite common

 

[lmwfh17]

Idk about the US but to be honest, I genuinely think most people in the UK have never even thought about the whole Miss/Mrs thing lol. Some people prefer Ms and so use that instead, but most couldn’t give a shite and it’s defo not considered right wing or evangelical to call yourself Miss/Mrs .

this is why I asked! i’m also from the UK and nobody when i was in high school or even in my life now thought that hard about it. obviously i know what the distinctions mean and that there’s probably something misogynistic in it but it really is just standard practice here. it likely won’t change as it has in other countries because no one’s bothered

 

[Meteorite22]

Is she actually going to keep on doing the fake freckles as a teacher? A lot of this is going to be her playing dress up and acting or inspiring to be like Miss Honey or any other teachers that inspire the children, be that teacher that gets Christmas cards from students and be besties with them. It's good she's actually got a job and getting out of her bedroom but it feels so blizzare to me.

In her latest video she claims to show her makeup routine. There is a Glossier product used to warm her complexion, but no fake freckles poked on.

 

[DrinaM]

"...she's running a successful business selling study tools (from planners to stationery), as well as collaborating with other companies. So she's running a successful business all by herself, and it is a business she enjoys.

She's also writing with the aim of getting published, and is just out living her life to the full! Ironically, for a student website, TSR seems to have weird standards of success. Yes, Ruby is focussed on reading and writing. She is a true academic with a love for English. Her 'career prospects and her future' are not what motivates her, but regardless, she is in the midst of a successful one."

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This is especially funny when considering that Ruby frequents The Student Room forums.

She needs to hire you as her publicist

 

[Ceelea]

If that CV hit my desk, I'd have a chuckle that someone with the fake surname Granger was highlighting her time in the Harry Potter society and then immediately move on to another application from someone with some amount of actual experience and common sense.

On the other hand, I'd love to see someone interview her and grill her about all the fake/wildly embellished entries on there.

Interviewer: "It says here you're a voice-over artist with 3+ years of experience. Can you tell us a little about the companies you worked for, and what roles you performed?"
Ruby: "YASS. WHAL. Oiy...DYO perform MANNY ryoles...which...umm...and as oiy say, it's varry...ummm...William WAARDSWAARTH once sad that theee hyole warrld's a styage and we are boht merely doing acting...on that...umm...[waves claw hand around]...warrhld's stage. Haha. And...umm...yah."
Interviewer: "Wasn't it William Shakespeare who wrote that?"
Ruby: "ACSHUALLY, Oiy've haard manny peopol say it. Weee...tand tyoo think of language and quotes as being tangibly assyociated with one parrson, when it's really more of an ethereal...folk tale...geneology whaaahr, when someone says something, someone alse repeats it differently and thann weee can navver knyow who ackshually sad it. It's really quoyte fascinating."
Interviewer: "[Holds up phone] I Googled it; William Shakespeare wrote it. But let's get back to your previous roles. It says here that you run a business single-handedly. That's really impressive! Can you walk us through a day in your role as company director?"
Ruby: "Umm...YASS...ummm...it's...[sweats profusely]...I can JANUINELY tal yoo that oiy DAFFINITELY DYOO run moiy own company...ONE HONDRED PRUSSANT. Oiy PROMISE YOU THAT. So...yah. JANUINELY."
Interviewer: "But what do you do?"
Ruby: "Umm...wal...Na-thaynn-yal Hworethorn once wrote that...umm...and...weee tand tyoo...umm...PONKIPODDOTIFFTI...and...umm... JANUINELY...oiy...umm... moiy basst frand Blakeney...umm...and syo... ACKSCUSE ME, oiy have to gyo now, oiy think moiy mummy might've fallen down the stairs agann. Have a prodocktive week."

*Applause*