I would tell her to prioritize her mental and physical health above everything else, (yes, even above finishing school if that's what it takes). If she isn't already in therapy, I would tell her to get a therapist, and take going to therapy seriously. I want her to get help for her ED and for her obvious fears about growing up/adulthood. I want her to figure out what she really wants and who she really is outside of her "bookish studytube" persona, but the only way to do that is by stepping back from social media and the Internet.
I know it's not what she wants to hear, (because she loves that sweet, sweet ad/sponsorship money) but I have long thought that Ruby needs to get off YouTube and Instagram. It clearly doesn't make her happy anymore, and it also isn't healthy that she relies so heavily on the external validation of her "fans", to keep her going. She needs to learn how to navigate life without blind praise from both her family and strangers.
I also want her to find a genuine passion without feeling the need to document or monetize/profit off of it. I want her to learn that it's okay to admit when you have made a mistake or admit when you don't know something. I want her to unlearn what she has always been taught about productivity. That her near constant reminder to us and to herself to "have a productive week" is really damaging. Ruby, I don't know who told you that the goal in life is to constantly be busy and to be working, but that person is wrong. Yes working hard is important but your work shouldn't define you. Stop assigning personal and moral value to how busy you can be or how much you can accomplish in a given day. It's not a sustainable way to structure your life. You are an alleged fan of slow living, and claim to be against hustle culture, but you are the walking billboard for toxic productivity. It's okay to just exist. Participating in leisure activities like taking long walks, watching TV, reading, painting, etc. are not inherently "bad", and doing them doesn't make you "lazy". Ruby, taking time to rest and have fun, is productive. It doesn't have to be one extreme or the other of either always studying/working or always watching TV and vegging put on the couch. You can do both! You can get work done, and still have time to watch a whole movie with your friends. You can clean the house and read a book. You can make meals for the week, while watching TV/YouTube. All can be "productive" ways to spend your time.
I know that she loves her family, but constantly running home to see them, or having them come to hang out with her, isn't healthy. She is never going to reach the level of independence that will allow her to move out someday, if she doesn't make any effort to practice being independent right now. She needs to learn how to be comfortable enough with herself and her thoughts to be alone sometimes. Practice by not seeing, writing, or calling your family for more than a few days at a time. It doesn't mean you don't love them, or aren't allowed to miss them. It just means you are taking the extra time to work on yourself, Ruby. This is also not what she wants to hear, but Ruby, your family enables all of your worst traits and behaviors, and the more time you spend with them, the worse your mental health becomes. If you want to survive your final 5 months of school, especially with that big dissertation coming up, I recommend not going home at all this upcoming term. But also, when it come to finishing school, work on managing your expectations. It won't be the end of the world if you don't get a first. Working on your mental and physical health is so much more important than your grades.
Okay, I think I have said my piece. It's a little all over the place, and nothing that hasn't been said before. But yeah, if she really does read here, these are some of my observations and suggestions.
That's not supposed to happen, I don't know what to tell you, that's crazy though, I'll look into it". Like girl this is your shop lmao if you don't know what's happening then who does?
