Ruby Granger #20 Waterstones won’t give her a deal, cabbage oats are a ”healthy meal”

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Starting a new thread for Ruby.

Congratulations to @Griftwood on the thread title, your prizes include a Waterstones gift voucher, a subscription to Nord VPN and a ribbon for your planner.

Have a productive thread!
 
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I found it so funny that in her night routine video, when she snaps for the outfit change, she completely neglected to close her wardrobe (6:20)
 
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Does anyone else find it hilarious how she randomly included in her night routine and week in my life video that she’s ALWAYS RUNNING LATE for things. Like she feels the need to prove it since she said it in her assumptions video or something.
 
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It’s been a few days and I’m not over the snowflake google search. Adding to that I’m now never getting over the open fridge. I would be dead if I did that at home and I’m an adult
 
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Lol I just realized we had Waterstones in the title once already, so much for trying to come up with something new where the Roobster is concerned
 
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It’s been a few days and I’m not over the snowflake google search. Adding to that I’m now never getting over the open fridge. I would be dead if I did that at home and I’m an adult
I’m keen to find out if she ever did manage to make the paper snowflake
 
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I know that rentals are often grim and shouldn't be seen as a reflection of their occupants' personal taste but I will never understand why rich *aesthetic* Ruby lives in possibly the ugliest house in Exeter

 
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Idk how to reply to the post from the other thread but jesus christ the absolute n0nces in her comments section can’t get over the bloke who’s commented 170 times. It’s just too weird.
 
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just making a general comment. no idea how anyone could watch titanic after studying and being at uni all day. it's a LONG film and if ur like me u cry for the last like hour and a half of the film lol
 
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just making a general comment. no idea how anyone could watch titanic after studying and being at uni all day. it's a LONG film and if ur like me u cry for the last like hour and a half of the film lol
she was 100% just faking it for the “aesthetic”. She constantly mentions how she can’t even watch a full episode of something in one sitting
 
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she was 100% just faking it for the “aesthetic”. She constantly mentions how she can’t even watch a full episode of something in one sitting
My thoughts exactly. I think she just blurted out the first film she could think of.
 
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I know that rentals are often grim and shouldn't be seen as a reflection of their occupants' personal taste but I will never understand why rich *aesthetic* Ruby lives in possibly the ugliest house in Exeter

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Their little decoration job possibly makes it even uglier. Those cut up pieces of paper on the cabinets and counters look completely out of place and they are also probably dirty and greasy and smelly from all the cooking (not that they do much of that)
 
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just making a general comment. no idea how anyone could watch titanic after studying and being at uni all day. it's a LONG film and if ur like me u cry for the last like hour and a half of the film lol
Do we think that Ruby has ever actually watched Titanic to the end? Does she still think it’s a happy love story and Jack and Rose sail off into the sunset? I reckon she used to have one of those older two-disc DVDs and hasn’t ever bothered with disc 2 …
 
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I mean how on Earth would Ruby get through the car scene Oh wait she probably thinks Rose pounds the window with the excitement of the academic point of view Jack has just described to her on the presentation of childhood in Alice in Wonderland of course, it’s nothing else at all
 
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Does anyone else find it hilarious how she randomly included in her night routine and week in my life video that she’s ALWAYS RUNNING LATE for things. Like she feels the need to prove it since she said it in her assumptions video or something.
Yes, even though she has a video about how she is always so organised and packs everything the night before, including lunch and her water bottle.
 
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she also left her bowl which im assuming had porridge in on the floor of her bedroom for the entire day despite going out a few times so would have gone downstairs, porridge is hard to get out after you leave it in the bowl for a while as well.
Also her house is 12 degrees yes that's cold but not sure it's so cold it requires you to wear a hat inside, the lack of food must really be getting to her when I was at my worst I was always bundled up it was freezing all the time to me
 
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Ruby has new terrible planner and timetable products out, so what better way for her to celebrate than showcasing more than ever what an atrocious timekeeper she is?

We get an opening montage, which features Ruby hunched over her desk in a grandma shawl like a withering old lady.



Same energy:



Next, Ruby harasses Blakeney's study group by shoving a camera in their faces:



I get the impression that whenever Ruby finally leaves Blakeney alone with other people, they all turn to Blakeney and say, "God, you're so selfless to be that strange old lady's carer. Why did she keep saying "Hallo, it's Roobee!" to everyone? Does she have dementia and that's all she can say? That's so sad!"

Next they buy a mini Christmas tree from Waitrose.



This tree is undoubtedly dead now if it wasn't already when they bought it.



She starts her day by chugging a small lake's worth of water from a grimy-looking mason jar glass to repress her body's urge to do anything crazy, like eat food.



Then it's time to start studying before sunrise, even though Ruby likely recorded this footage after sunset to make it look like she woke up earlier than she did.

Ruby's doing "critical reading" because that's all she ever does, and it's easier to read and steal other people's opinions than read the assigned text and think of any yourself.

Ruby: "It's deadline season, so of course I'm struggling to stay on top of things because there's so much uni work!"
Also Ruby: "I'm just annotating poems and doing essay work that hasn't been assigned by uni."



Ruby: "Buy my planners so you can plan your time like me, Ruby Granger: Queen of Organisation!"
Also Ruby: "I'm slightly late."

She cuts a raw bagel in half, doesn't add anything to it, and shoves it in a tupperware tub. Sandy Cohen would not be impressed.



"I say I'm pretty organised," Ruby says, "but I'm always running late." Then you're not well organised, especially not to the point of being a suitable spokesperson for your own planners and timetables. That's just poor time management, Ruby. It's like saying, "I say I never start fires but I do burn down several buildings a week", while being the mascot for a company selling fire safety products.

"I tend to leave for places five minutes after I should and it's because I get distracted by the work that I'm doing." So you wasted a chunk of your morning on "work" that nobody asked for and were late for a uni session you were supposed to be at.

"We had a timetable change and I didn't realise," she says, as she "desperately tries to find the lecture". Room changes are briefed out ahead of time. Note how Ruby doesn't say she wasn't informed. She just didn't realise. And she might have less problems locating things on campus if she spend more than 5 days a month there.

Her life is a mess of disorganisation, that's not news to anyone who's watched her content, with its tantrums and fabricated timelines.

Ruby says she always fills up her water bottle before class because otherwise she gets thirsty in classes and can't concentrate. This isn't thirst. It's hunger. Malnutrition. Ruby's just filling up on water when her body wants food.

After her Life and Death "lack-churr", Ruby harasses Blakeney while she's trying to do work.



Blakeney gives an awkward, polite smile but looks frustrated as she tries to type while being hassled by the pappara-zero shoving a camera in her face.



After a "Yes? Can I help you?" look from Blakeney, Ruby is forced to fuck off and study by herself in the corner.

"Blakeney had something on..." Ruby says, in deep denial, "and I went and studied here instead..."

She points her camera at the sad table in the corner, which is reserved for social lepers and serial stalkers.



"I was just working on an ass-ay." By that she means she was now staring at the back of Blakeney's head like a scorned toddler who got yelled at for trying to piss on the sofa.

Ruby starts placing all her stuff down on the table as loudly as possible, probably to draw Blakeney's attention like a tantrum-throwing baby because she couldn't join in on the study session/work/extracurricular meeting that had nothing to do with her.

After slamming everything down, Ruby starts typing only for her camera to slowly veer to one side and fall over.


Cut to a different angle after Ruby retrieves it from the ground:



"Then I headed to meet Blakeney AGAIN." This is just getting obsessive now.



Blakeney awkwardly smiles at the camera, clearly getting annoyed again and shaking her head at Ruby.

Ruby says they were studying Hard Times and met Blakeney so the could "feed back" on the readings they'd done and had "a little discussion beforehand" so they'd "be ready for the seminar". In other words, Blakeney did a bunch of reading and Ruby copied her notes so she could shove her hand in the air in the seminar with lots of "Actually..." and "Did you know...?" as she parroted quotes from Blakeney's research.



Ruby films herself unzipping her bag for an awkwardly long time, because she's gotta show off that Kanken whenever possible.

Then it's time to cycle home.



Ruby complains about being cold again, surprising nobody. Again, malnutrition ain't helping, Ruby.

"When I get back, I ALWAYS tidy my room," Ruby lies, as she films herself aimlessly wandering around her room in sped-up footage, like that'll somehow hide that zero tidying is happening. She grabs her a tweed jacket from her dusty wardrobe because DARK MACADEMIA.



She "studies" some more then bares her teeth to chomp a small bite out of some overcooked toast.


After that, she cuts to later, where the tweed jacket is gone (probably because it's footage from a different day) and she's preparing a "simple veggie nyoo-dull dish".

"I've got to say, I think this clip is one of the most satisfying ones in the h'yowul video. I just love time-lapse clips syo much," she says with her fake-smiling narration, and it's clear she's lost her mind.



She looks like a bag-eyed corpse. If you saw her wandering at night, you'd likely grab the nearest heavy, blunt object and aim for the brain to send her back to the afterlife.

She clearly finds time-lapse clips satisfying because the element of speed makes it looks like she's doing far more than she is. It's her entire "productivity" routine in microcosm.

There's no evidence that she eats any of the sad swamp broth that she brews.



"After dinner." Note the completely different outfit and hairstyle.



Ruby gets some more arsonry tools. Note the middle finger on the right (her left).



Now note the same finger in footage from "earlier" that day. How did they get repainted and chipped in different ways so quickly, Ruby? *Cough*It'sadifferentday*Cough*

Ruby says that on Mondays, she and Blakeney usually watch films together, but not this day. Probably because it wasn't Monday. Instead Ruby pretends to watch Titanic alone in her "kyozy" room.

Suddenly it's daytime and Ruby's browsing Netflix for Titanic, which she's either pretending to have watched before or is still pretending to watch currently. Time is a jumbled jigsaw piece in Ruby's videos and none of the pieces fit.



It's supposedly one of her favourite films of all time, but she gave up watching less than half an hour through.



Ruby hugs her duvet like she didn't get the memo that Titanic isn't a horror movie.

She pretends to use NordVPN and drones on about its features, but clearly has no idea what they are and is just reading from an ad copy script. But you can access lots of "con-tant" and it's "so, so simple, it takes sack-unds".

After the ad break, it's "Tuesday".

Ruby doesn't get up and brush her teeth and take a shower in this day's "routine", she simply manifests fully dressed in her room at 9:30am.



Then, with a crack of Ruby’s magic sustainable gas lighter, she lights the candle that was already lit, and she's travelled back in time to 9:15am.



Ruby has a "YouTube-related call". It's probably the content police, issuing her a verbal warning for crimes against editing.

Then she reads through an "ass-ay" submission, and this is definitely the face of confidence:



Ruby notes that she "read it aloud to make sure it's coherent". That's never worked for anything else she's ever said out loud, but there's a first time for everything, I guess.

She complains that she's cold yet again. No breakfast is eaten.



Ruby heads into town where she shops at Bird & Blend yet again despite having a stockpile of hoarded teas. Then she shamelessly advertises Waterstones yet again, ever courting that elusive sponsorship that'll never come.



She films herself putting on a new jumper, as if this'll make it believable that she spontaneously changed outfits in the middle of the evening and this isn't just a different day entirely.

Then she claims to tidy. All she does is fumblr with her desk, check her phone and walk across the room, but Ruby's new obsession with time-lapse video makes her think this'll fool people into believing much busy stuff happened.



After pretending to properly clean the kitchen in another time-lapsed segment, she says she and Blakeney had a "kyozy" evening making "paper s'nyo-flakes" while sat all over their horrifically unclean floors and Ruby does her best Gollum impression.



Judging by her recent Google searches, this failure at arts and crafts was a major blow to her ego.

Then Ruby plays with a hot bottle and screams quotes from A Winter's Tale at Blakeney in her cringeworthy "acting" voice, but seems to mix up two completely different sections of the play ("Tyoo hot! Tyoo hot!" Ruby yells. "Over head and ears a forked one!")



At barely 21:30 at night, Ruby gives up for the day and it's suddenly "Wednesday".

Here we are in the next morning, Ruby says, even though it's clearly night and she's wearing the same outfit, with a hot water bottle shoved up her sweater.



Then Ruby's suddenly in another outfit, "making her bed" by just moving the duvet around a bit.



After another outfit change, Ruby sets up a camera on a wall to film herself walking to Tory-favourite supermarket Waitrose, because viewers would clearly be confused how she got from point A to point B otherwise and would burn her at rhe stake for witchcraft because of her powers of teleportation.

She claims Wednesdays are always a day for YouTube work, and that she "worked solidly" on a video. There's never been any evidence of solid work in a single one of her videos, though.



She shows herself recording narration in time-lapse, and grins and gurns through it like she's completely deranged.



Ruby complains that it's cold yet again. She shows the thermostat meter to prove it. It's a 12.5 degrees celcius, which ain't shit. Self-proclaimed child prodigy Ruby doesn't think to turn the fucking heating up.



Ruby shamelessly shills gifted product Manilife and talks about nut butter a lot, which if she'd ever been on Urban Dictionary she should stop doing.



Ruby meets some "friends", by which she means the study group partners whose grades she most likely tanked with the terrible Dickens escape room project she spearheaded.

Then it wouldn't be Christmas if Ruby weren't droning on about John Lewis endlessly. But since this is a weekly routine video, the suggestion is that Ruby does this every week if the year.

Ruby and Blakeney bought a house advent calendar to share between them, but chose a mini one for some reason. Ruby will only be at uni 2 days a week, max, so Blakeney will get to open most of the windows.



And because wearing gloves was interfering with her compulsive need to rub her grimy hands all over everything in sight, she Michael Jacksons it and goes one-gloved just to make sure she germs up everything.



She shoves her camera on a shelf to film herself, then panicks when a woman steps between it and her.



At this point the annoyance of the repeated Christmas music she's chosen to play several times in this video reaches critical mass.

After pretending to "work" on a YouTube video some more, the day's over.

On "Thursday" morning, Ruby flails about like she's possessed by a demon with no poise, or coordination. She calls this yoga.



And then she's back in this jumper yet again:



And while I definitely think there's nothing wrong with wearing worn clothes more than once if they're not dirty, dirt is a given with Ruby, and her aversion to basic hygeine, general cleanliness and inability to do laundry makes this a no-no.

Then Ruby is in "a Christmas shopping myood" so shops online, and finally learns the lesson to blur her laptop screen...in a shot where nobody could've made anything out anyway.



Ruby does some "AXE-tra" readings and drops the "fun fact" that she loves reading "salmons", but "especially early modern salmons." Although she seems to be showing sermons.


(Presented without comment, because Ruby's a parody of herself at this point.)

Ruby shows that this was the day she was recoding her "Overhyped Products" mess of a video, which makes all the talk of her working on it syooper dyooper hard for two days a pile of bullshit since the bulk of it was filmed months prior.



"I AM GYOWING TO GYO SWIMMING NAO!"



Ruby goes swimming, then posts what must be her 17th letter of the week to her mummy because it's not like she'll be seeing her that weekend or anything.



After going to Waitrose yet again to buy a mini Christmas tree, Ruby and Blakeney decorated the windows of their gloomy, dirty house with paper snowflakes.



After pretending to study, it's suddenly Friday.

First thing in the morning, Ruby harangues Blakeney into sharing her thoughts on their shared module so she can steal them for essay ideas. Blakeney tries to steer this into a general conversation, but Ruby classes this as a "distraction".



They head to campus, and Blakeney has a life to live, so she swiftly ditches Ruby, who huddles in a secluded corner, glaring at everyone nearby like a deranged psychopath while she piles on 12 extra layers because eating practically nothing in a week will make you cold.



Blakeney tries to lure unclean demonic goblin Ruby onto sacred ground to send her back to the fires of hell, but the cross is too much of a dead giveaway and she doesn't fall for it.



Ruby flees. "I'VE...just finished MY...final seminar of the week. I'M...now just walking back."

Blakeney's gone out, and because of course Ruby's buggering off home for the weekend, she has to pack. Although it hardly seems worth keeping anything at uni with how little time she spends there.

"Many of you will know that I do go home--JARRING EDIT--a lot of weekends." Every weekend, Ruby. It's been every single weekend.

"It's my cousin's 18th birthday, and so I'm going up for that," Ruby says, having clearly spent some more time reading Tattle. And you can tell she's defensively making shit up, because as she's saying it, she does all of this "I"m clearly lying!" awkward, disjointed-limbed, one-eyed squinting weirdness:





Lies confirmed.

Is it your cousin's 18th birthday every week, Ruby?

On the defensive warpath, Ruby sets out to prove Tattlers wrong by forcing herself to take the train instead of having mummy and daddy pick her up. She's this happy about it:



And she's so sad about having to get the train by herself at least one stop by herself that she swiftly ends the video, with an especially sullen outro.
 
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