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gossip_guy

VIP Member
Look, maybe we're all being a little too harsh regarding the PETA thing.

I know Ruby lies about everything. But maybe she's being sincere here.

I mean, when she says she's "never actively promoted it as an organisation" and that she "made a conscious decision a couple of years ago to never support the organisation directly", maybe she's telling the truth for once?

I mean, it's not like she's ever advertised gifted PETA merchandise, or worn and advertised PETA-branded clothing, right?

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Oh.

Well...

This is a bit embarrassing, isn't it, Ruby?
 
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yeya

Member
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Not sure if this is satire, or if this poor girl really is just hopelessly lost trying to follow Ruby’s advice, but this really sums it all up perfectly and just shows how ridiculous Ruby’s planning habits are.
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
Ruby has new terrible planner and timetable products out, so what better way for her to celebrate than showcasing more than ever what an atrocious timekeeper she is?

We get an opening montage, which features Ruby hunched over her desk in a grandma shawl like a withering old lady.

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Same energy:

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Next, Ruby harasses Blakeney's study group by shoving a camera in their faces:

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I get the impression that whenever Ruby finally leaves Blakeney alone with other people, they all turn to Blakeney and say, "God, you're so selfless to be that strange old lady's carer. Why did she keep saying "Hallo, it's Roobee!" to everyone? Does she have dementia and that's all she can say? That's so sad!"

Next they buy a mini Christmas tree from Waitrose.

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This tree is undoubtedly dead now if it wasn't already when they bought it.

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She starts her day by chugging a small lake's worth of water from a grimy-looking mason jar glass to repress her body's urge to do anything crazy, like eat food.

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Then it's time to start studying before sunrise, even though Ruby likely recorded this footage after sunset to make it look like she woke up earlier than she did.

Ruby's doing "critical reading" because that's all she ever does, and it's easier to read and steal other people's opinions than read the assigned text and think of any yourself.

Ruby: "It's deadline season, so of course I'm struggling to stay on top of things because there's so much uni work!"
Also Ruby: "I'm just annotating poems and doing essay work that hasn't been assigned by uni."

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Ruby: "Buy my planners so you can plan your time like me, Ruby Granger: Queen of Organisation!"
Also Ruby: "I'm slightly late."

She cuts a raw bagel in half, doesn't add anything to it, and shoves it in a tupperware tub. Sandy Cohen would not be impressed.

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"I say I'm pretty organised," Ruby says, "but I'm always running late." Then you're not well organised, especially not to the point of being a suitable spokesperson for your own planners and timetables. That's just poor time management, Ruby. It's like saying, "I say I never start fires but I do burn down several buildings a week", while being the mascot for a company selling fire safety products.

"I tend to leave for places five minutes after I should and it's because I get distracted by the work that I'm doing." So you wasted a chunk of your morning on "work" that nobody asked for and were late for a uni session you were supposed to be at.

"We had a timetable change and I didn't realise," she says, as she "desperately tries to find the lecture". Room changes are briefed out ahead of time. Note how Ruby doesn't say she wasn't informed. She just didn't realise. And she might have less problems locating things on campus if she spend more than 5 days a month there.

Her life is a mess of disorganisation, that's not news to anyone who's watched her content, with its tantrums and fabricated timelines.

Ruby says she always fills up her water bottle before class because otherwise she gets thirsty in classes and can't concentrate. This isn't thirst. It's hunger. Malnutrition. Ruby's just filling up on water when her body wants food.

After her Life and Death "lack-churr", Ruby harasses Blakeney while she's trying to do work.

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Blakeney gives an awkward, polite smile but looks frustrated as she tries to type while being hassled by the pappara-zero shoving a camera in her face.

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After a "Yes? Can I help you?" look from Blakeney, Ruby is forced to fuck off and study by herself in the corner.

"Blakeney had something on..." Ruby says, in deep denial, "and I went and studied here instead..."

She points her camera at the sad table in the corner, which is reserved for social lepers and serial stalkers.

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"I was just working on an ass-ay." By that she means she was now staring at the back of Blakeney's head like a scorned toddler who got yelled at for trying to piss on the sofa.

Ruby starts placing all her stuff down on the table as loudly as possible, probably to draw Blakeney's attention like a tantrum-throwing baby because she couldn't join in on the study session/work/extracurricular meeting that had nothing to do with her.

After slamming everything down, Ruby starts typing only for her camera to slowly veer to one side and fall over.
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Cut to a different angle after Ruby retrieves it from the ground:

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"Then I headed to meet Blakeney AGAIN." This is just getting obsessive now.

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Blakeney awkwardly smiles at the camera, clearly getting annoyed again and shaking her head at Ruby.

Ruby says they were studying Hard Times and met Blakeney so the could "feed back" on the readings they'd done and had "a little discussion beforehand" so they'd "be ready for the seminar". In other words, Blakeney did a bunch of reading and Ruby copied her notes so she could shove her hand in the air in the seminar with lots of "Actually..." and "Did you know...?" as she parroted quotes from Blakeney's research.

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Ruby films herself unzipping her bag for an awkwardly long time, because she's gotta show off that Kanken whenever possible.

Then it's time to cycle home.

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Ruby complains about being cold again, surprising nobody. Again, malnutrition ain't helping, Ruby.

"When I get back, I ALWAYS tidy my room," Ruby lies, as she films herself aimlessly wandering around her room in sped-up footage, like that'll somehow hide that zero tidying is happening. She grabs her a tweed jacket from her dusty wardrobe because 📚 DARK MACADEMIA.📚

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She "studies" some more then bares her teeth to chomp a small bite out of some overcooked toast.

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After that, she cuts to later, where the tweed jacket is gone (probably because it's footage from a different day) and she's preparing a "simple veggie nyoo-dull dish".

"I've got to say, I think this clip is one of the most satisfying ones in the h'yowul video. I just love time-lapse clips syo much," she says with her fake-smiling narration, and it's clear she's lost her mind.

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She looks like a bag-eyed corpse. If you saw her wandering at night, you'd likely grab the nearest heavy, blunt object and aim for the brain to send her back to the afterlife.

She clearly finds time-lapse clips satisfying because the element of speed makes it looks like she's doing far more than she is. It's her entire "productivity" routine in microcosm.

There's no evidence that she eats any of the sad swamp broth that she brews.

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"After dinner." Note the completely different outfit and hairstyle.

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Ruby gets some more arsonry tools. Note the middle finger on the right (her left).

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Now note the same finger in footage from "earlier" that day. How did they get repainted and chipped in different ways so quickly, Ruby? *Cough*It'sadifferentday*Cough*

Ruby says that on Mondays, she and Blakeney usually watch films together, but not this day. Probably because it wasn't Monday. Instead Ruby pretends to watch Titanic alone in her "kyozy" room.

Suddenly it's daytime and Ruby's browsing Netflix for Titanic, which she's either pretending to have watched before or is still pretending to watch currently. Time is a jumbled jigsaw piece in Ruby's videos and none of the pieces fit.

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It's supposedly one of her favourite films of all time, but she gave up watching less than half an hour through.

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Ruby hugs her duvet like she didn't get the memo that Titanic isn't a horror movie.

She pretends to use NordVPN and drones on about its features, but clearly has no idea what they are and is just reading from an ad copy script. But you can access lots of "con-tant" and it's "so, so simple, it takes sack-unds".

After the ad break, it's "Tuesday".

Ruby doesn't get up and brush her teeth and take a shower in this day's "routine", she simply manifests fully dressed in her room at 9:30am.

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Then, with a crack of Ruby’s magic sustainable gas lighter, she lights the candle that was already lit, and she's travelled back in time to 9:15am.

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Ruby has a "YouTube-related call". It's probably the content police, issuing her a verbal warning for crimes against editing.

Then she reads through an "ass-ay" submission, and this is definitely the face of confidence:

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Ruby notes that she "read it aloud to make sure it's coherent". That's never worked for anything else she's ever said out loud, but there's a first time for everything, I guess.

She complains that she's cold yet again. No breakfast is eaten.

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Ruby heads into town where she shops at Bird & Blend yet again despite having a stockpile of hoarded teas. Then she shamelessly advertises Waterstones yet again, ever courting that elusive sponsorship that'll never come.

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She films herself putting on a new jumper, as if this'll make it believable that she spontaneously changed outfits in the middle of the evening and this isn't just a different day entirely.

Then she claims to tidy. All she does is fumblr with her desk, check her phone and walk across the room, but Ruby's new obsession with time-lapse video makes her think this'll fool people into believing much busy stuff happened.

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After pretending to properly clean the kitchen in another time-lapsed segment, she says she and Blakeney had a "kyozy" evening making "paper s'nyo-flakes" while sat all over their horrifically unclean floors and Ruby does her best Gollum impression.

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Judging by her recent Google searches, this failure at arts and crafts was a major blow to her ego.

Then Ruby plays with a hot bottle and screams quotes from A Winter's Tale at Blakeney in her cringeworthy "acting" voice, but seems to mix up two completely different sections of the play ("Tyoo hot! Tyoo hot!" Ruby yells. "Over head and ears a forked one!")

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At barely 21:30 at night, Ruby gives up for the day and it's suddenly "Wednesday".

Here we are in the next morning, Ruby says, even though it's clearly night and she's wearing the same outfit, with a hot water bottle shoved up her sweater.

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Then Ruby's suddenly in another outfit, "making her bed" by just moving the duvet around a bit.

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After another outfit change, Ruby sets up a camera on a wall to film herself walking to Tory-favourite supermarket Waitrose, because viewers would clearly be confused how she got from point A to point B otherwise and would burn her at rhe stake for witchcraft because of her powers of teleportation.

She claims Wednesdays are always a day for YouTube work, and that she "worked solidly" on a video. There's never been any evidence of solid work in a single one of her videos, though.

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She shows herself recording narration in time-lapse, and grins and gurns through it like she's completely deranged.

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Ruby complains that it's cold yet again. She shows the thermostat meter to prove it. It's a 12.5 degrees celcius, which ain't shit. Self-proclaimed child prodigy Ruby doesn't think to turn the fucking heating up.

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Ruby shamelessly shills gifted product Manilife and talks about nut butter a lot, which if she'd ever been on Urban Dictionary she should stop doing.

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Ruby meets some "friends", by which she means the study group partners whose grades she most likely tanked with the terrible Dickens escape room project she spearheaded.

Then it wouldn't be Christmas if Ruby weren't droning on about John Lewis endlessly. But since this is a weekly routine video, the suggestion is that Ruby does this every week if the year.

Ruby and Blakeney bought a house advent calendar to share between them, but chose a mini one for some reason. Ruby will only be at uni 2 days a week, max, so Blakeney will get to open most of the windows.

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And because wearing gloves was interfering with her compulsive need to rub her grimy hands all over everything in sight, she Michael Jacksons it and goes one-gloved just to make sure she germs up everything.

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She shoves her camera on a shelf to film herself, then panicks when a woman steps between it and her.

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At this point the annoyance of the repeated Christmas music she's chosen to play several times in this video reaches critical mass.

After pretending to "work" on a YouTube video some more, the day's over.

On "Thursday" morning, Ruby flails about like she's possessed by a demon with no poise, or coordination. She calls this yoga.

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And then she's back in this jumper yet again:

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And while I definitely think there's nothing wrong with wearing worn clothes more than once if they're not dirty, dirt is a given with Ruby, and her aversion to basic hygeine, general cleanliness and inability to do laundry makes this a no-no.

Then Ruby is in "a Christmas shopping myood" so shops online, and finally learns the lesson to blur her laptop screen...in a shot where nobody could've made anything out anyway.

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Ruby does some "AXE-tra" readings and drops the "fun fact" that she loves reading "salmons", but "especially early modern salmons." Although she seems to be showing sermons.

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(Presented without comment, because Ruby's a parody of herself at this point.)

Ruby shows that this was the day she was recoding her "Overhyped Products" mess of a video, which makes all the talk of her working on it syooper dyooper hard for two days a pile of bullshit since the bulk of it was filmed months prior.

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"I AM GYOWING TO GYO SWIMMING NAO!"

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Ruby goes swimming, then posts what must be her 17th letter of the week to her mummy because it's not like she'll be seeing her that weekend or anything.

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After going to Waitrose yet again to buy a mini Christmas tree, Ruby and Blakeney decorated the windows of their gloomy, dirty house with paper snowflakes.

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After pretending to study, it's suddenly Friday.

First thing in the morning, Ruby harangues Blakeney into sharing her thoughts on their shared module so she can steal them for essay ideas. Blakeney tries to steer this into a general conversation, but Ruby classes this as a "distraction".

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They head to campus, and Blakeney has a life to live, so she swiftly ditches Ruby, who huddles in a secluded corner, glaring at everyone nearby like a deranged psychopath while she piles on 12 extra layers because eating practically nothing in a week will make you cold.

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Blakeney tries to lure unclean demonic goblin Ruby onto sacred ground to send her back to the fires of hell, but the cross is too much of a dead giveaway and she doesn't fall for it.

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Ruby flees. "I'VE...just finished MY...final seminar of the week. I'M...now just walking back."

Blakeney's gone out, and because of course Ruby's buggering off home for the weekend, she has to pack. Although it hardly seems worth keeping anything at uni with how little time she spends there.

"Many of you will know that I do go home--JARRING EDIT--a lot of weekends." Every weekend, Ruby. It's been every single weekend.

"It's my cousin's 18th birthday, and so I'm going up for that," Ruby says, having clearly spent some more time reading Tattle. And you can tell she's defensively making shit up, because as she's saying it, she does all of this "I"m clearly lying!" awkward, disjointed-limbed, one-eyed squinting weirdness:

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Lies confirmed.

Is it your cousin's 18th birthday every week, Ruby?

On the defensive warpath, Ruby sets out to prove Tattlers wrong by forcing herself to take the train instead of having mummy and daddy pick her up. She's this happy about it:

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And she's so sad about having to get the train by herself at least one stop by herself that she swiftly ends the video, with an especially sullen outro.
 
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Lasagnacreamcone

Active member
I just saw an article on signs of autism in adults and thought it was quite interesting to compare these with what we know with Roobee's personality (obviously I am not a doctor and am not trying to diagnose Rooberoy but I just saw some other people on here mention that Ruby could have autism and I kinda agree)
View attachment 915670Ok first of all, the issues with food. Don't need to elaborate just the thread title shows this. Now finding it hard to make friends - this has been something that Ruby herself has admitted she has difficulty doing. Obviously this in itself is not a sign of autism (I myself have a small group of friends and is not a social butterfly) but just attaching herself to one person (Blakeney) and not even making an effort to talk to people??? Ok now onto the indecisiveness element: sorry what was Roobee's dissertation topic again?

Eating issues in anorexia and autism are very distincts ones, even thought there is a comorbidity rate.

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1 - Just look at any of these previous threads to see the multiple word meaning that Rooberoy has butchered despite being an English student at uni
2 - Not sure about an example for this one but it seems like something Rooberoy would do
3 -100 percent (although this could just be becuase of a lack of nutrients)
4 - Just watch any video with Blakeney ever and see Roobee's accent have a heart attack every time she is with someone new
5 - Stealing Holocaust money, not understanding her privilege etc.
6 - This one's a no though
7 - Every day is deadline season, leaving the house like a maniac at random times
8 - Rooberoy's friends (kidnappees): Blakeney, .................... umm I can't think of anyone else
9 -Basically what Roobee's entire channel is built on - morning routines, night routines
10 - And now she's getting other people to comment their rituals on her newest video and mentions her tea 'rituals' in every other video
11 - Still living like a deluded 11 year old child because she doesn't want to be an adult
12 - Once again, has no understanding that other people may not be able to afford things, have a desk to study on like her etc.
13 -Living like a malnourished sick Victorian child
14 - Once again leaving the house because she thinks their mansion in the middle of nowhere is being ro(o)bb(e)ed - turns out it was just Mummy Granger falling down the stairs

Anyway, this is just my thought not diagnosing Roobee just thought it was interesting :)
So I'm sure you didn't mean it but please don't do this.
Idk, people here (me included) often bring up that she has autistic traits but that's more in a "it could explain that thing or that other thing". This kind of stuff is unecessary (her obvious eating disorder causes harm, if she is autistic it's 100% her business and it's not our place to find that "interesting", autistic people are not a freak show to analyze for entertainment).
Also, as you said, you're not a doctor. The Internet is a very dangerous place for that since those "traits" kind be interpreted in a thousands way and you would not know if you're doing it right if you're not a doctor.

1 - This is absolutely not what it means. Autism doesn't make you "butcher" words. We can understand language just fine. Social aspects of language like tones, sarcasm, metaphors, etc. can be hard to understand. Like the article says.
3 - The way Ruby has issues "processing" stuff is not the same. Yes, it's probably because she's malnourished. As number 2 says, autistic people can have trouble understanding abstract concepts. Wich mean you may need to process information longer to understand other aspects than the litteral words attached to the sentence.
4 - I honestly don't understand what you mean with this one.
5 - This has NOTHING to do with stealing money or not understanding her privilege. Listen, autistic people tend to see the world in a more "factual" way. If you're autistic, you might say something "factual" like, I don't know, "your mixtape is not very good Kevin" or "wow, you sure do have a lot of acne", you may not see the harm into it, because it wouldn't hurt you if someone said it to you. This is not a lack of empathy, it's a lack of understanding what hurts people. It's subtle but different. Autism also makes you unaware of social cues, including facial expressions, like someone being sad or pissed. But we can still learn what hurts people. Autism doesn't make you do crime and not be aware of it or something. It's not how it works. Also, this is anecdotal, but pretty much every autistic people I know are very aware of class, gender and race issues. Being ostracized by society will do that to you.
6 - How would you know. We only see what she shows.
7 - Also not what it means. Taking social breaks. Like, in parties, in meetings, in class. Needing a break from people.
8 - Hard to developp friendship doesn't mean you have no friends. Eating disorders makes you reject people and that's most likely why she doesn't see many other people than Blakeney.
9 - Hustle culture, ocd, anxiety disorder, a million things can cause this behaviour.
11 - Autistic people don't act like "deluded 11 years old" and it's actually a huge problem, neurotypical people tend to infantilize us a lot. This is more about not disrupting routines than not wanting to grow up, even tho yes, it can present this way.
12 - I don't even understand what you're trying to say here. This is about sensory overload ?
13 - Special interests are a very specific autistic trait, and is usually expressed by a really deep fixation or obssession about something, like a tv show, a celebrity, bugs, birds, plushies... Not a lifestyle.
14 - Again, can be explained by other things like anxiety, ptsd...

You know, you wrote it's not a diagnosis and you're not a doctor, and it's obvious since you misinterpreted pretty much all of those things, but also, what was the point of this ? Why would you find that "interesting" ? Autistic people are not circus animals, I know we are portrayed a lot like "interesting" people in tv shows (for example The Good Doctor or The Big Bang Theory) in a very stereotypical way, but why would you find that interesting, why would you make a list like that of traits someone has, when you know nothing about them and really not that much about the person.
Also you basically took all of her defaults and associated them with autism.
Maybe this sounds rude and I'm sorry, I don't mean to be, but this was really insulting. And we don't need to know nor care about her having/not having autism.
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
The video that was supposed to be uploaded this morning arrives! And while we can't rely on ol' Ruby to upload when she says she will, we can always count on her inability to use consistent capitalisation in her video titles.

"The Day before the End of Term" - why isn't that 'B' a capital, Rubes?

She forgoes the random emojis that she usually uses, to highlight the gravity of the situation. This is no time for laughter, random space emojis or monkeys hiding their faces. This is a disaster akin to a Roland Emmerich movie; uni is slowly ending, and the impending doom that Ruby faces at graduation is creeping ever-closer.

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"It's the penultimate day before the end of term," Ruby says, using words that she doesn't know the meaning of again. This would actually mean it's the day before the day before the end of term.

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Shockingly, Ruby must've finally decided to look up the meaning of one of the numerous words she keeps misusing. However, she didn't do this until she was haphazardly slapping random footage together during "editing". So she just throws a lazy correction on screen.

Ruby only has "tyoo classes left", neither of which require any prep work apparently. Which probably means that Ruby did several days of unnecessary prep work for each of them in a shameless attempt to impress the poor lecturers who're just counting the days until she fucks off for good and they no longer have to wade through dozens of unsolicited emails a day from her.

Ruby has screwed around with time so much in her "daily" vlogs, lying about the time, day, month and year that it is to give the illusion that she's accomplished more in a day than is physically possible. Now, time has simply had enough, and has decided to fight back. Ruby picks up a clock to tell us what time she's currently pretending it is, and pushes a random button when the clock starts loudly wailing an off-key nightmare tune at her to get her to stop.

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Ruby panics. Rather than apply basic logic, common sense or the problem-solving skills that even small children and household pets are equipped with to figure out how to turn the music off, Ruby just awkwardly bashes at it and attempts to twist it apart like some mindless, drooling caveman.

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Eventually she just pulls the batteries out.

"I don't know WHY that started playing music," Ruby huffs, annoyed that her musical clock did one of the things that it's designed to do. "I didn't even knyow that it could dyoo that."

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Because it's not like it's a clearly advertised feature on the product listing and the box and the manual or anything.

Ruby says she had to buy a new clock because her last one broke, and it's not hard to see why considering she immediately resorted to trying to tear the new one apart the second it made a noise.

Ruby's back yard is likely a graveyard for all the dead clocks she broke trying to turn off the alarm. She has to buy a new one every day because that 'off' button just proves too elusive for her and she has to destroy them each morning instead.

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(See if you can find the 'off' switch, or the several other options that Ruby failed to find that would've silenced the music or turned the volume off.)

She says she's going down to the café near campus to "do a bit of admin work". Now, she definitely has a lot of admin work to do, considering the multitude of complaints flooding in about her stationary company regarding orders not getting dispatched and the complete lack of response from customer service. However, Ruby's definition of "admin" is "quick things you want or need to do", so it's a given that she won't be doing anything business-related and will instead be ordering more clocks.

Ruby also mentions that she's had a shower, hence the soaking wet hair. She does not explain why she hasn't dried it. I mean, everyone washes their hair and then lets it air-dry in winter, soaking their clothes in the process, when it's supposedly always freezing cold in their room. Leaving it wet is definitely not her new attempt to try to hide her thinning, receding hairline brought on by months of malnutrition or anything.

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Ruby opens her tea advent calendar's offering for the day. She doesn't mention that day's 'act of kindness', but a little research reveals that it's to "back or cook something and share it with colleagues or neighbours". I weep for the poor bastards that Ruby's going to give the Christmas gift of cabbage porridge sprinkled with frozen peas.

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She leaves the house, her hair still wet. Genius approaching, please clear a path.

"I really rarely leave the house to dyoo wahhk, and I really want to start dyoing it more," she says, "because otherwise I just spend all my time at my desk."

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This you, Rubes?

If you find campus so noisy that you have to post passive-aggressive notes about it on social media, then what makes you think a public café is going to be quieter?

Ruby sets another goal for herself as she claims she's going to really start studying outside her house, even though uni's practically over at this point.

"I've read that changing study locations can help to keep you more focused," she says. Rather than realise for herself that she clearly never focuses in public spaces or when not at her desk, Ruby elects to just believe random factoids she read in fluff, faux-motivational Facebook posts instead.

There's nothing wrong with studying in your room if you find loud places distracting, or vice versa. But to set arbitrary goals for yourself to study in random public places when you already complain all the time that you can't focus in public places has nothing to do with finding a place you do your best work and everything to do with wanting to find a place where other people can see you pretending to study.

As in all things with Ruby, it's aesthetics over function. Why didn't you just go to a study space in the uni library, Ruby? Think of the 📚📖DARK MACADEMIA📖📚 vibes! The answer is that everyone in the library is there to study. In the coffee shop, she's a unique bookworm. It's the Instagram cliché that if you're not taking up space in a coffee shop when studying or writing, you're not doing it right.

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Ruby takes up space in the café, ordering no food or drinks. If you ever had any doubt that Ruby's ronaphobia and crocodile tears over it were anything but a performance so she could embrace the golden opportunity to run home for a year, observe the above photo.

Ruby claimed to be so terrified and anxious about Covid that she had no choice but to flee from university - leaving her roommate and apparent best friend to live alone - so that she could retreat into a world of childhood fantasy and forget that graduation and adulthood were coming.

Now, she's maskless in an enclosed public place. There's a big sign next to her telling her to open the windows to provide adequate ventilation. All the windows are closed. Ruby had zero intention of opening it for the safety of herself and others.

Not even the fact that everyone around her is wearing masks spurs her on to put one on herself. People sitting within arm's reach does not encourage self-proclaimed germophobe Ruby to put on a mask or wonder if she needs to be in this crowded, enclosed space during a rapidly-worsening pandemic.

Hospitality venues are exempt from the current legal requirement for people to wear masks in indoor public places, primarily because food and drink is consumed (although wearing a mask is still strongly encouraged in government guidelines when not eating or drinking). Ruby orders neither food nor drink, but still refuses to mask up.

Then this happens:

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What Ruby says to these strangers is unclear, but see seems threatened and confused. She's sporting a Karen face if I ever saw one, and multiple times points at her table as she seems to assert her claim over it.

She could be saying, "Excuse me, ruffians! You are encroaching upon my private study space! Please keepst thy volume to a minimum, lest I reportst thou to my mummy!"

She could be saying, "You there! You appear to be the manual-labouring, blue collar sort! Thankyou for your service!"

Who knows?

But if she were actually scared of Covid, would she have come to this crowded, public café where she doesn't need to be, where she orders absolutely nothing, and then refused to wear a mask or open a window?

Want to know what she did with most of her time in this apparently essential study/"admin" trip to this café?

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She was taking random photos for her Instagram, so that social media could see that she was "studying" in a coffee shop. So for the people who're still getting radio silence from Ruby's stationary company after your order failed to materialise, this is what Ruby does with her "admin" time instead of responding to complaints and queries. And when Ruby wonders why she's always late to finish her assignments, this is also partly why.

Everything about this scene should show how little Ruby is worried about Covid. She never was. It should also show how much Ruby cares about the aesthetics of studying over actually getting work done comfortably and efficiently.

After refusing to wear a mask in close proximity to many other people for a prolonged period of time, Ruby decides to make a show of putting one on just to swiftly walk to the exit...

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And then immediately removes it the instant she steps outside:

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Reminder: Ruby accepted money from the NHS to advertise Covid hygiene safety precautions, despite clearly being unable to understand or follow them herself.

"My call has been changed tyoo...TAN FORTY-FIVE," Ruby awkwardly says, "and so I'm just heading--[JARRING EDIT]--back for that!"

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While wearing a coat made from her grandfather's oldest, least favourite armchair, Ruby scribbles some random notes "as part of a friend's Christmas present". Ruby only has one friend. If Blakeney's had to suffer through this year of living with Ruby only to get some half-assed, illegible motivational notes written by a compulsive liar and taped to a card with hair-covered washi tape for Christmas, then she should just cut all ties.

And because Ruby has to shove an ad or sponsored segment into literally everything, it's time to unbox some tea, even though she has a mountainous stockpile already.

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It's another tea advent calendar. And if you're wondering what the point in a sponsor sending an influencer an advent calendar nearly halfway through December, or who they think it going to suddenly be inspired to buy it at this point, you're not alone.

Either Ruby was incredibly late to collect this parcel, or "teapigs" is run by the same business-savvy mastermind as Ruby's own company.

They also sent a discount code for "20 pre-cent off" for Ruby's followers.

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Each window has a random fact, which Ruby will no doubt memorise and then interrupt many lectures next year to parrot them off unprompted during completely irrelevant discussions.

As if reading my mind, Ruby interrupts her own video with a "Did you know...?" of her own.

"The 18th Century!" Ruby chirps, as she searches her Swiss cheese brains for facts regarding the 18th Century. "That's the time the tea tax was abolished!" As if to somehow prove whatever point she's trying to make, Ruby slaps a random, cited quotation on-screen which reveals essentially no information other than to point out that the tax on tea wasn't abolished at all, just drastically reduced:

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If this is the type of effort she puts into her "ass-ays" then it's going to be a rough dissertation season for ol' Rubert De Niro.

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Ruby says she's going to meet Blakeney, but is packing up a pile of presents to leave around town, because she evidently felt like she hadn't hit her stupidity quota for the day yet.

If you're thinking, "But that's a generous, selfless thought!" Well, not so fast. Ruby hasn't wrapped anything of any value or use to anyone. She's wrapped several of her overpriced, poor quality notebooks. Which is somehow worse than just getting coal in your stocking, or being eaten by Krampus.

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So, let's unpack this a little...

Ruby's idea of a wonderful gift for people: Her own shitty products. Because that's not egotistical at all.

Speaking of egotistical, if the fact that Ruby's own notebooks are inside the parcel weren't a dead giveaway that Ruby herself left these everywhere (because nobody else would inflict these on another person) then her filming herself wrapping them and leaving them places definitely will. This isn't an act of anonymous, selfless kindness. It's Ruby trying to get some staged good press to inflate her feeling of self-worth.

But most glaringly, Ruby is practically Typhoid Mary, and at this point (if you believe her timeline) had been to a London Covid spreader event just days before, shows that she regularly refuses to wear masks in enclosed public spaces, and lives in such a state of unhygienic squalor that the next pandemic will likely originate from her kitchen. Yet she thinks it's a great idea during an escalating pandemic to go and leave things she's touched in public for strangers to pick up.

Reminder: Ruby accepted money from the NHS to advertise Covid hygiene safety precautions, despite clearly being unable to understand or follow them herself.

This is all a moot point, of course.

Remember that there has never been a single, confirmed recipient of any giveaway that Ruby has ever done. Ruby doesn't show herself leaving any of these gifts anywhere, and I don't doubt for a second that Ruby wrapped them, filmed herself showing them off for the good press, then immediately unwrapped them and put them back on the pile.

After mentioning that she visited a vintage charity shop, but refusing to name it and provide any free publicity to a good cause...

(You know what's coming, right?)

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Of course she did. It's a shameless cliché at this point.

And to make her sponsor-chasing more blatant than ever before, Ruby lovingly films the Waterstones sign for the longest time to give them free advertisement, and then doesn't even fucking go inside.

She just turns and walks to her other favourite place to advertise for free: Bird & Blend.

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Ruby claims that these Christmas-themed tea pouches were bought for the tea giveaway she announced. I'll believe it when I see someone receive one. She picked "dozy girl", which seems especially apt. And it's a good job Ruby has no actual intention of sending these, since she never bothered to ask entrants if they have any allergies, while these teas all contain nut traces. Ruby's out here trying to kill her viewers with something other than boredom for a change.

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She meets Blakeney at a tasting café for a beetroot latté :)sick:) and a tiny sliver of cake (which is Ruby's first food of the day and she doesn't appear to eat any of it).

Ruby has decided to treat life like a Pokemon game - she's gonna catch that rare Omicron variant if it kills her, so after eating/not eating tiny cakes, they then spend an additional two hours occupying this small indoor space without masks.

But Ruby's going to pay it forward and make sure everyone gets sick for Christmas, as they write "anonymous" Christmas cards to lick, seal and leave around campus with the Rubola virus all over them.

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Again, this is not anonymous. When Exeter University's most notable fuckwit influencer films herself writing them, it's going to be blatantly obvious who wrote these. It's another ego-boosting bit of performative kindness carried out in the most senseless way, at the worst time, which only benefits Ruby.

Ruby, if you wanted to do something actually kind for Christmas that didn't risk spreading Covid to numerous strangers, why didn't you...
  • Donate money to charity (not including the money you already owe to several charities).
  • Donate money, time or food to a food bank.
  • Donate your stockpile of clothes to charity.
  • Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
  • Volunteer your time to a charity.
  • Spend the month of December using your Instagram and YouTube to make content raising awareness for needy causes.
There's endless amounts of actual, concrete ways to meaningfully give back. Ruby has never done any of them. She chooses the cheapest, most transparently self-serving way every single time.

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Continuing Ruby's weird trend of taking things that random strangers in academia say as gospel, she reveals that she never drinks caffeine after 3pm because a speaker at school said she shouldn't.

Ruby freaks out because there's TWO WHOLE COFFEE BEANS in her coffee-tea bag, and she reacts like she'd being offered heroin in a public park or something. Just ONE HIT of caffeine after 3pm will ruin your life.

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Blakeney resolves the situation by just taking the tea bag with two beans and giving Ruby the one-bean bag, placating Ruby like one would a small child.

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And after celebrating the almost-last day before Ruby runs home yet again by chatting in the gloomiest corner of the house, that's it for another vlog!
 
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gossip_guy

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We open on a gloomy view of dank squalor. That's right, Ruby's home again!

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She's titled the video 'Christmassy Weekend at Home', although since she never spends a weekend away from home, it seems a bit redundant.

After some establishing shots of Ruby's haunted manor home, we meet the spectral ghoul whose spirit won't leave these cursed grounds: It's Ruby herself!

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She shuffles ghost-like toward the camera, clutching a hot water bottle encased in what appears to be the taxidermied hide of a long-dead family pet. This nightmarishly macabre creation does not appear to have ever been washed. And neither does the thing she's holding.

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She dumps the contents of her animal carcass into the perpetually grimy kitchen sink. Her parents can be forgiven for never cleaning this kitchen, though - it's been deadline season for at least 21 years now.

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Ruby struggles to get access to her morning tea amongst all the clutter and mess haphazardly stacked perilously in the kitchen cupboards. She narrowly avoids knocking the contents of the cupboard all over the kitchen. But in fairness, if she did, who's really gonna notice? What's another drop of mud in a swamp of filth?

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After getting some morning fire hazards burning by lighting candles, ghostly grandma Ruby gets settled in her room.

To celebrate Christmas, Ruby's family seem to have chopped down one of the neighbouring trees and dumped it carelessly and unfurnished at a jaunty angle against her bookcase, with a candle underneath ready to set the whole thing ablaze with the spark of one match. So aesthetic!

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"This morning I was working on my final ass-assment of the term," and then her narration jumps up about 40,000 crackling decibels. "THE LAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN REALLY RATHER HACK-TIC WITH ASS-ASS-MENTS."

Ruby rambles about how time somehow both stands still and doesn't seem to be moving when you have as many uni assignments as she does, but also flies by so fast that it feels like November never happened.

(Reminder: Ruby wastes most days creating unrequested essay assignments and endless busywork for herself that has no value or merit and that nobody asked her to do. She also insists on making 6 hour round trips every single week to flee home at weekends rather than use that time wisely. This often leaves her late for actual uni meetings, seminars and deprives her of an abundance of vital time to do mandatory assignments.)

"BUT THAT ISN'T OKAY!" Ruby moans, despite being the source of all her own problems. "MONTHS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO JUST SLIP AWAY FROM US. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LOSE WHOLE MONTHS."

Ruby "lack-churrs" us that we need to appreciate university and embrace academic culture while also enjoying life outside academia. Ruby does neither.

This is basically a "woe is me, I'm so busy!" ramble from someone with immense privilege, zero financial responsibility and endless free time, which she just wastes with redundant planning busywork.

She follows up her waffling nonsense by hurling a barrage of advertising endorsements. Ruby loves October so much that she's keeping it alive with the terrifying sight of her ghoulish grimace:

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Her Fable England plug is swiftly followed by her advertising Bird & Blend once again. She's chosen her most disgusting mug - the one that was actually designed to look like it was used as a makeshift toilet on a construction site to disguise the fact that Ruby never cleans it:

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Her chosen tea is "Chinese pyoo-ratee", or Chinese pu-erh tea to anyone else. The box says it's a ginger spiced blend.

"Today's act of kindness," Ruby chirps as she reads the box, "is to say a big 'thankyou!' to nurses, bus drivers, retail workers and anyone else you meet working today." Ruby says this is perfect, as she's actually going to London. And I'm sure every retail worker at Waterstones is gonna love Ruby coming up to them and saying, "Hello, it's Roobee! And thankyou for your service!" after she's touched every single book in the store.

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"It's very, very gingery," Ruby says as she slurps the tea in what can only be described as anti-ASMR. "Maybe a little too gingery... No! I feel like it's a ginger tea." Master of critical research and analysis Ruby Granger, everyone! If ginger being the main ingredient listed on the box wasn't a dead giveaway, Ruby has Sherlocked this shit and used her keen taste buds to determine that the ginger tea is, in fact, ginger tea.

After her earlier rant about how daunting her workload at uni is, Ruby casually reveals that her current stressful assignment is a poster presentation for the ASS-ay that she's going to be writing in January... Which sounds like the kind of thing they'd give to small children to keep them distracted for a while so the adults can get something done.

Doors loudly slam and the dog barks uncontrollably in the background, and Ruby doesn't leap out of the window for fear of home invaders, so she's apparently gotten over another of her fictional phobias.

Ruby rambles with a condescending tone that deadline season doesn't have to be stressful, after leaving her assignment until two days before it was due and running home instead of focusing on it. And most people don't leave everything until the last second, and most people's deadlines aren't for children's arts and crafts projects, so it's apples and oranges really, isn't it, Rubuntu?

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(POV: You were holding your cutting board which has a mirror in it for some reason, and you accidentally said 'Ruby Granger' five times, summoning the grimacing productivity demon. The only way to send her back to the depths of Hades is to give her an offering of £9 in exchange for poorly-made stationery.)

"It's soooo cold!" Ruby says. Which is as much her catchphrase as anything at this point. Once again, it's the house's fault, and not the result of massive malnutrition and dangerous weight loss.

"I've come home for Vee's book launch, which she's very, very kindly invited me to." Which doesn't explain every other weekend she's buggered off home. Also Vee didn't actually invite Ruby. Their shared management team did. Everyone repped by Sixteenth was invited.

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Ruby starts getting ready and dabbing on makeup while rambling that she used to believe that wearing makeup was anti-feminist because she read it somewhere. But now she's come to the (already achingly obvious to anyone else) conclusion that women should be encouraged and supported in doing whatever they want with their own bodies. Ruby doesn't clarify if she got this new opinion by reading it somewhere, but it's pretty much a given, since she's incapable of thinking for herself.

Before we can see if Ruby will cover up her fake freckles with makeup and replace them with new ones, she's "interrupted" by a parcel delivery.

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It's from Glossier, one of the few brands that Ruby won't stop advertising for free in hopes of a sponsorship.

"It's funny that this should come right now, because I was just talking about makeup..." Ruby says. No, Ruby. You were talking about makeup because you got a Glossier delivery and decided to fabricate a "surprise" delivery to make it seem spontaneous.

I mean, you supposedly spend almost all your time at uni, right? And your order contains "makeup essentials", so presumably you need them often. So...quick question, Ruberculosis? Why'd you have this delivered to your family house and not uni?

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Doesn't add up.

Ruby unboxes the makeup goods, including a mirror that you got if you "spent over a Saturn amount on their website"...

I did some research into what the fuck she's talking about, but results were inconclusive:

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Ruby complains about the poor quality of this free mirror's surface, before realising that she's left the protective plastic film on it.

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Ruby tries out some flavoured lip balm. She will undoubtedly count this as one of her meals for the day.

After a time-lapsed fraction of a 'getting ready' segment which conveniently skips over the fake freckled area of her fact, she's got to catch the train! Ruby looks like she's about to start crying since she has to travel by herself like an adult:

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There's no other footage on the train, so it's left a mystery as to whether Ruby traversed the carriages dishing out acts of kindness. After all, in one of her previous videos, Ruby claimed that the first question we ask people is "What do you do?", so Ruby absolutely should've been checking people's professions and thanking them for their retail, health care or transportation services.

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Supposedly Covid-phobic Ruby heads to Covent Garden and excitedly runs into every crowd of people that she can like a hyperactive child let loose in a sweet shop.

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"I don't know what my hair is doing!" Ruby wonders in on-screen text. It's receding, Ruby. Malnutrition strikes again!

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At the book launch/Covid spreader event, Ruby hugs whoever she can, then appears to rant at Vee about something:

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Ruby: "I wrote a book, tyoo!"
Vee: "And who are you, again?"

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Ruby jumps at the chance to film people who aren't privileged white Tory women so that she can reuse the footage in later videos and make it seem like she doesn't exclusively associate with privileged white Tory women. Even Holly, Ruby's ED-inspo icon seems confused by Ruby.

After making a brief appearance at the event, Ruby high-tails it when the food is offered.

"I'm gonna miss my train," Ruby complains. This is what happens when you spend most of your day cataloguing meaningless, obvious crap in multiple planners and to-do lists instead of noting just important things, like meeting times and rooms, or train times. Ruby is somehow constantly screwing up train times and getting them mixed up, while claiming to be an oracle of productivity and planning advice. And to add to the irony: Ruby has done paid, sponsored ads for Trainline before, despite being completely incapable of checking and remembering train times.

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Ruby manages to make her train. She said she's "feeling empowered" after the event and decided to "read" the book right away (by which she means "skim a few paragraphs and consider it complete") instead of leaving it until after Christmas. A glowing endorsement. "I was gonna just dump your book on a shelf and forget all about it, but I'll do you one better and pretend to read a few pages, Vee!"

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It's the next morning, or possibly a month earlier or three days later. At this point, who the fuck knows with Ruby?

She's dressed like she's just come back from audition for a British reboot of The Golden Girls, where she was rejected for looking too old to play an octogenarian.

Ruby says she's still working on the poster presentation, and if you're shocked that there's somehow multiple days of work required for something as Mickey Mouse as a poster presentation, then you're not alone. Ruby says she's doing this now because she likes to get her most "biggest, most stressful tasks" done in the morning...

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Ruby claims she's aware of her privilege, yet somehow defines a task as trivial as a poster presentation as "stressful". I can't even. Send this clown to work in the mines already.

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After changing into her second outfit of the day, Ruby backtracks and says the poster "ass-assment" is actually "low pressure". It's only worth 15 "pruh-cent" of her grade. After somehow working on this fluff, nonsense project for multiple days, Ruby claims she's "nearly finished", but is going to take a break anyway.

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Ruby says she's going to decorate the tree that was dumped in her room, using decorations that her family deemed were too shitty for the main tree.

But first, more tea, because Ruby has to substitute food with something:

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"Okay, what is it?" Ruby asks, confused what flavour it is, even though it says 'CANDY CANE' right fucking there. "Candy Caneeee!"

Today's act of kindness: "Arrange to spend time with the person who makes you laugh most, even if it's on the phone."

"That's a really good idea. I'm gonna sent a message to a friend," she says, as though she has multiple friends to choose from.

Ruby says the tea doesn't smell like candy canes, but she also says she doesn't know what candy canes smell like. According to Ruby, it smells like vanilla, with an "undercurrent of PAPPERMINT".

After her tea break, Ruby actually decides to return to her flimsy project and finish it. Somehow it takes her an additional 90 fucking minutes.

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Ruby shows off the disgusting tape slapped onto her webcam, along with the dirt and crusty crud it has collected.

Rubes, these exist:

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They cost next to nothing, you stick them over your webcam and they look sleek and minimal. You can open and close them when you need to use your webcam. Better than that, they don't attract all manner of disgusting dirt, hair and grime.

While Ruby's struggling to figure out which of her files to upload for the assessment, her mother screams up the stairs: "ARE YOU READY TO--"

Ruby cut here, rather than 5 seconds earlier. Then she's off the wander the grounds of their palatial estate with her parents.

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Ruby's dad is dressed like the drunk gardener of a Russian diplomat.

Ruby's mother looks like what you'd expect the first image result to be if you did a Google search for "Tory tea cosy".

Mother Granger says this is her "mad cat lady" look. Ruby's dad stresses that the coat was actually second hand, because the apple didn't fall far from the tree when it comes to rich Tories in their family using performative poverty to try to be relatable.

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Ruby shouts about how cold it is, as she does in all climates and situations. Her parents point out that it's not cold at all, because neither of them are severely malnourished like Ruby.

Note that this is also Ruby's third outfit of the "day".

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They go for lunch, and Ruby tries to blur out either the name of the restaurant or the ingredients list on one of her multiple drinks. With her terrible editing skills, it's hard to tell.

Ruby takes a single bite of a fry while awkwardly blurring out half the background.

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"haha" Riveting stuff, Ruby!

Ruby "decorates" her tree, and like everything she does, it's a half-assed, hilariously messy shit-show:

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She says she moved the tree away from her bookcase because she couldn't see her books. She's not going to read any of them, of course, but Ruby buys books just to look at them on a shelf, so she needs to get her money's worth!

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Ruby says she's currently writing Christmas cards to viewers, and will be adding an option on her store to opt in for the chance to maybe get a surprise Christmas card from her.

Because that's exactly what people want after making the regretful decision of buying her flimsy, overpriced crap - to get a Christmas card in late June full of inane, indecipherable ramblings from a complete basket case, when all you really want is a refund.

"There'll be details about this in the description box," she says.

Spoilers: There's not.

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And because it's been at least a week since her last scam, she announces another "giveaway" where she will "cheese" some of her favourite teas and send them and a planner to some poor bastard.

Reminder: There has never been a single confirmed winner or recipient of any of Ruby's giveaways. She refuses to announce winners publicly, and each contest is a blatant scam to attract more subscribers and commenters during product launches. No prizes are ever sent out.

This time around, she asks people to comment with their favourite Christmas tradition or ritual. Again, this is a scam. It has the distinct benefit of flooding Ruby's comments with comments about Christmas to drown out any constructive criticism she might get for all the things she keeps dodging accountability.

She notes that the planners are still in stock, because people aren't falling for her crap anymore and she's struggling to get rid of this year's planners (she's only sold half so far).

And that's it!
 
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gossip_guy

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(Apologies in advance - this might be the longest one yet...)

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"Before this video starts, this is just a quick reminder THAT the yehhly planner is still available on my website," Ruby says, sounding hoarse and ill. Wonder if that has anything to do with her running around several different cities maskless over the past week?

Her planner being available on her website isn't exactly the selling point she thinks it is. Last year, the planners sold out in a couple of days. Thankfully, most people have wised up to her scams and no longer wish to pay far too much money for a product that looks like something your great aunt would get you from Poundland for Christmas instead of chocolate as a punishment for not calling her ever.

In her rush to remind people that planners are still available for purchase, Ruby conveniently forgets to give the following, more important reminders:

  • Planners are not being shipped, and almost everyone who ordered planners weeks ago is still waiting for them to be sent out.
  • Customer service are ignoring all queries and refund requests.
  • Ruby, who claims to run the company (even though it's owned and run by he management company) is also ignoring most messages and comments, and offering lies and fob-off excuses to the few people she responds to.
  • That yearly planner that immediately starts decreasing in purpose and value on January 1st will not arrive before mid-January at the earliest.
  • No refunds will be offered, either partial or in full.
  • If you paid extra for tracked shipping, no tracking has been or will be provided. This was never mentioned to previous buyer and won't be mentioned to new buyers either. But don't worry, you don't need tracking - nothing's going to ship anyway. (Again, no refunds for shipping.)
Here's a couple of more helpful reminders:

If you were unfortunate to buy anything from Ruby and paid with PayPal, open a dispute for your purchase to get a refund. This can be done here:


If you paid by card, contact your card provider and advise them you want to file a dispute or initiate a chargeback for a purchase that hasn't been received or shipped and the retailer is not responding.

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After her shameless and dishonest self-promotion, she starts with the actual video.

Preparing for Christmas Vlog

Now, this time around, Ruby actually got all the capitals in the title in all the right places! Good job, Ruby! It only took you seven years of videos.

Unfortunately, she forgot some punctuation, so the title makes it seem like this is a video in which she prepares to make a Christmas vlog, instead of a vlog in which she prepares for Christmas.

Preparing for Christmas (Vlog)

See the difference that makes, Ruby? Maybe one day you'll get the hang of this whole English thing.

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Ruby makes Christmas cards, a process which apparently requires her to climb all over her desk while standing on a flimsy chair, because that's not a dangerous thing for a malnourished, easily-distracted person with no coordination to be doing...

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Ruby ran away from uni a couple of weeks ago to spend an entire day making Christmas cards with her mother and family friends. An entire fucking day. She also claims she's using her #gifted #sponsored Cricut to make all her Christmas cards this year, which is nowhere to be seen here. Ruby knows precisely four people. How many fucking trees do you have to offer up as sacrifice to make a mountain of Christmas cards you don't need, Ruby??

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Ruby reminds everyone how much she loves writing long cards and letters. There is no mention of anyone actually responding in kind.

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(Ruby's likely reaction when she sends a card with the wordcount of War & Peace, and gets a card in return that just says, "Regards, Blakeney.")

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She makes a point to show some affection to her dog, since it's a well-mentioned hallmark of Ruby's videos that she usually ignores her pets or seems annoyed by or afraid of them. The dog just gives her a confused look and goes back to sleeping.

"She's very tired," Ruby says. Yeah, tired of your shit.

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She grimaces awkwardly and twirls around the kitchen like a deranged lunatic.

A minute after the video has already begun, Ruby's unhinged battle cry rattles your ears: "HALLOO IT'S ROOBEE!"

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Ruby' apologises for not properly vlogging yet, even though it's SO LATE!

It's already ELEVEN THIRTY!

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And by "vlogging", she means "telling you at length all the same shit you just saw already in a much shorter timespan". Ruby says she's been writing cards and letters, which we already knew. Apparently she's been "negLACKting" this vital correspondence for too long.

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Remember, kids: Don't negLACKT your family and frANDs at Christmas! Show them you care by writing them a rambling diatribe all about yourself that'll take them until Easter to read!

Ruby's grandfather getting yet another one of her Christmas letters:

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Ruby shows off her room, and the bed which she ALWAYS makes.

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Whatever the fuck is happening with that duvet is a mystery to me. Either she's put on a duvet that's far too big for the bed, or she's put a single-size duvet on but it starts dead centre of her bed and then drapes all over the floor.

Either way, having a duvet touch the floor in that room, knowing how utterly filthy and encrusted in dust and dirt everything is makes me want to take a year-long shower.

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Ruby says she's just packing up her Depop orders and likes to include little notes in them. What she doesn't like, evidently, is sending orders out promptly - even though she went home from uni or saw her parents literally every week, a message that went up on her Depop said she'd only be shipping after October 20th, which was up long into November.

Along with her notes, Ruby includes, well...

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She says she likes to include a "washi tape sample" and smiles as though she's doing a good deed, and then coils this entire fucking length of tape around itself on the card...

So...she actually expects that someone will receive this, pry the washi tape away from the card and uncoil it, by which point it'll have lost its adhesive and won't stick properly anymore? What purpose or value does this have? Just put an unused roll of washi tape in the order as a freebie!

And you're thinking, "Well, maybe she includes on the note the name and details of the washi tape company, so this is just to show off the design?" But if that were the case, she could just put a 2 inch strip on the card. And also she doesn't include any mention of the tape on the card:

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Of all the weird shit Ruby does, this might qualify as one of the most absolutely insane.

You know what people would appreciate more than getting a hair-and-dust-covered length of unusable tape with their unironed, overpriced used clothes that arrived weeks late? A refund.

"It's currently TAN TO ONE," she says, and to celebrate, she's going to watch some "Christmas YouTube con-TANT". She also has a warm mug of tea, and I know the first thing I love to do with a hot beverage is shove my index fingers into it:

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After seemingly consuming tea through sponge-like orifices in her fingertips like some weird alien arachnid nightmare, she rambles about the "spiced paahh" tea, which I think is "spiced pear" in English. She said it's very spicy, and proves her refined palate and expert tasting skills by just naming every spice she can think of and saying it tastes like that. She recommends adding lots of maple syrup, or stewing it in apple juice or pear juice because, again, she's an alien.

Then Ruby swiftly moves on to some more ill-advised self promotion. She claims she's going to grab her current academic planner and make notes in it for ideas of things to change for next year's planner, even though the current planner only just came out. Because when your current product is an unmitigated disaster, just moving onto trying to sell something else to your dissatisfied customers is always a good plan.

She says she loves to look at feedback and see what they can improve or add. This is clearly bullshit. Nobody who paid for a planner is actually receiving their planners. How exactly do you expect people to believe you've already had feedback regarding the contents of the planner, Ruby?

Meanwhile, the major issues that plague every single product release - massive shipping delays, printing errors, customer service radio silence, lies from Ruby - all go unchanged.

It's all blatant lies and bullshit to make her seem like a productive and well-organised businessperson, and it couldn't come at a worse time.

And let's not forget, she says the same thing every year. After each new planner release, she claims to be hard at work on the next one, which doesn't add up at all. I mean, these are the last two yearly planners:

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Nothing changed but a tiny bit of text, a different bland, muted colour and a slightly different crappy doodle design on a few pages. Ruby would have you believe that this was a year of hard work and design revision. In reality, it was 5 minutes of adjustments to a design doc template by an underpaid intern on her management's staff.

And if she's had a year to plan it, it's especially damning when every product release happens far too late and they have countless issues.

Ruby continues her charade of lies anyway, and shows that her first step in pretend design revision is...a mind map:

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This planning technique that Ruby learned when she was 10 years old is her go-to method for absolutely everything, even though it's not at all suited or useful for most things, like plotting design revisions for an existing product.

"It's tyoo fifteen," she says. "I'm just going to keep going." She says there's three new spreads she wants to add for next year, so she's going to draft up examples. She does this by just scribbling some bullshit on her iPad, even though she should have access to the actual design templates for her planner.

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The one new section we see, aside from an index key, is a 'Self Care' section. This is an additional page where Ruby can remind herself to go outside, romanticise everything and not eat food, just in case she missed all the other sections where reminds herself to go outside, romanticise everything and not eat food. She does not show in full the three sections she mentions, so I'm not sure what the point in any of this footage was, besides the obvious attempt to look like she actually puts any work or effort into her business.

Again, all this performative time-wasting was time she could've spent responding to queries and complaints, offering refunds or partial refunds and reimbursing postage to make things right to her current customers and inspire them to stick around for the next one through good customer service. Instead, she ignored them, lied to them, did nothing to make sure the company with her name and face on does right by anyone and chose to film this woefully dumb and pointless preview for next year, even though most of her customer base will now, if they have any sense, never buy from her again.

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Ruby abandons her planner nonsense to wrap some Christmas presents.

She does this on the visibly dirty rug which has undoubtedly never come into contact with a vacuum cleaner. If I received a gift from Ruby, it would go directly into the incinerator. Why would you show yourself doing this on such a clearly filthy and disgusting floor? At least hoover first. Good lord.

To make matters worse, her duvet is now even further off the bed and has been half stuffed under it. I dread to think how much dust now covers the duvet that Ruby will just throw back on her bed and sleep on.

And then we see the end result:

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A haphazard mess of wrapping, bound in string, with a leaf cookie/ornament that looks like it'll crumble to pieces at any second stuck to it and a couple of sample packs of tea that Ruby had gathering dust in her cupboard for a year lazily shoved on the outside.

But wait, we're not done! Ruby pulls the tea out to remove that she's also folded up some random New Yorker clippings and included those, too:

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You know who also sends suspicious-looking grimy parcels and newspaper clippings to people? Serial killers.

Using advanced image enhancement techniques, I've been able to reveal the contents of this folded note:

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After taking the tea sachets out, Ruby can't even be bothered to try to put them back and just dumps them on top of the parcel:

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After moving this parcel from Ruby's filthy floor to her hands to her grimy windowsill, every inch of this shitty testament to Ruby's laziness now has so much contact bacteria on it that if you rubbed a Coronavirus test swab on it, it would detect every known variant of the 'rona along with 59 previously undiscovered new ones.

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Ruby says she's going to go to the "pyhost office" because she has lots of Christmas present parcels to send out to people abroad. She also lies and says she has "also got a giveaway of...some giveaway...THINGS tyoo send out..." Which is obviously bullshit. She refuses to send out things that people paid for, no way will she ever do it for free.

No parcels are shown, and then she's back home to do some bad yoga and ballet.

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(Pictured: Ruby practicing the 'Avoiding Responsibility' pose. The hands held outwards while looking in neither direction is symbolic of keeping all accountability at arms length, while ignoring multiple unhappy customers. The open trunk nearby symbolises the place where she'll keep all her ill-gotten planner and Holocaust charity money so the taxman doesn't take a cut.)

"YES, my room is a state," she sighs, as though this is a new thing that was unavoidable and isn't her fault.

"I've been using my trunk to store Christmas presents I bought for people."

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Wait, you mean this trunk, Ruby?

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You know, the one filled with mold...?

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I just can't. Why would you store presents (or anything at all) in there and then reveal this for the people receiving them to see?? "Merry Christmas, here's a shitty gift and a side order of ebola!"

She also reveals that she usually stores this swampy fungus trunk under her bed with the blanket of dust, but tonight she'll leave it in the open because she plans on doing more wrapping.

She then pulls her duvet up to shove some crap under her bed, but rather than adjust her draping duvet in any way, she just dumps it back on the floor.

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After that, Ruby has changed into her third outfit of this "day". She says she and Martha have made a Mexican feast, but as always, there's zero evidence that Ruby has eaten any of this off-screen food.

Instead she says she's going to taste-test a donut she got from London where she was the day before. Now, this vlog footage is supposed to be from Tuesday 15th December.

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Ignoring the fact that Tuesday was actually the 14th of December, Ruby was claiming on Instagram that she went to London on the Wednesday, yet here it's supposed to have been on Monday. Which begs the question, how many times last week did she fuck off to London with her family during a pandemic? Or just what lies is she telling about her schedule?

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Ruby eats two small bites of a giant stale donut and awkwardly cuts away. Her "review" amounts to "I should've eaten this when it was fresh".

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Next, it's "Wednesday 16th December", which is another date that didn't exist this year - Wednesday was the 15th of December.

In a bit of magical editing fuckery, Ruby goes downstairs to harass the dog, reappears upstairs to kick her rug under the bed (but not actually make the bed or change her now dusty and dirty sheets) as though she's going to put her yoga mat down, and then goes back downstairs to do bad yoga in one of the 183 dusty, unused living rooms in their house.

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After her dangerously uncoordinated yoga, she goes to the cluttered mess of a kitchen - where everything that should be in the cupboards is all over every usable surface because Ruby filled all the cupboards with tea and bullshit - to "bake lyoads of grunyohlah".

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Ruby apparently served this "grunyohlah" to her parents as breakfast, and why they never put her up for adoption is a mystery to me.

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(Pictured: Definitely not a meal. Certainly not breakfast.)

After leaving her parents alone so they could bin this slurry and eat an actual breakfast, Ruby says she's FINALLY going to change the pictures on the wall. That's right, after another outfit change, she's going to make a "Christmas Academia myood board". What the fuck is Christmas Academia, you may be wondering. I have no fucking clue, and neither does Ruby.

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And if you were relieved that Ruby had finally taken down her shrine to Anne of Green Gables and might be growing up and not idolising fictional children any more, well not so fast! This "Christmas Academia" prominently features stills of Mara Wilson in Miracle on 34th Street, Lisa Simpson and Kevin McCallister from Home Alone.

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And because nowhere is safe from Ruby's obsessive crusade to squeeze a sponsorship deal from Waterstones, the top left picture is just a photo of Waterstones' front window.

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Remember all those long nights of studying and academia on display in Home Alone? Remember that scene where Kevin couldn't defend his home because he was at the school library studying long into the night? Remember that subplot in Miracle on 34th Street where Mara Wilson got sent away to an elite boarding school? Me neither.

This is just a Christmas/Fictional Child Obsession Board. It has nothing to do with academia, and I'm increasingly convinced that Ruby genuinely thinks that "academia" is synonymous with "aesthetics".

When she's done patting herself on the back for her "myood board" which is "even better than last year's, and that's saying something", Ruby goes to awkwardly film herself walking outside in her third outfit of the "day".

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Remember when Ruby went on a tirade about how she doesn't like jeans and doesn't own or wear them? That was fun.

While out in the woods, Ruby says she wants to do some "fyoraging" for things to add to presents as decoration. As if mold, dust, filth and Covid bacteria wasn't enough, Ruby also wants to add leaves and holly sprigs that have been pissed on by wild animals or pinecones with deer ticks hiding in them to people's gifts to spread the festive joy of Lyme disease.

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Ruby's got friends coming over for a "Love Actually myoovie night" so she's decided to bake them some "PAPPERMINT dark chocolate brownies".

While her brownies are allegedly in the oven, Ruby's voice cracks and she seems exasperated as she explains that she's going to plan something that she needs to film today... Now, the way she's nervously prefacing it should say that this is gonna be good. And she doesn't disappoint.

"It's for two charity compan--[AWKWARD, JARRING EDIT]--I'm just going to PLAN THE CON-TANT and then I'll-will take out the browni--[AWKWARD, JARRING EDIT]"

So Ruby is partnering with/scamming money from charities again even after the NHS disaster, the Holocaust charity debaucle, the Unicef bullying video nightmare and so on. Another reminder that Ruby still hasn't returned the Holocaust charity money, nor has she shown any proof that her anti-bullying week ad revenue was donated to the causes she claimed it would when she was begging people to watch multiple times and sit through all the ads.

After dropping the charity bombshell, Ruby starts getting defensive about the outfit changes after reappearing in her fourth outfit of the day, which is also her second outfit of the day...

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"And I'm changed a-GANN, and I'm also planning on changing AGANN before by frands come over lyata!" she lies.

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"Syoo...AS PER USUAL, lotsandlotsofoutfitchanges--I JUST CHANGE OUTFITS ALOTTT."

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After lying her ass off like a big lying liar, Ruby heads to one of her many gloomy living rooms, this one looking like it was sparsely furnished with seating stolen from a Job Centre waiting room.

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Ruby says she's putting on some festive "vinyl RACK-ords", but we're then subjected to 'In the Hall of the Mountain King' yet again...

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After writing cards for her friends, she says she's going to mop the kitchen before they arrive, but looks completely confused and aggravated by this whole "cleaning" thing that she doesn't usually have to pretend to do.

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She rubs whatever cleaning fluids she found all over the kitchen floor with a mop and calls it a day.

She's also in her fifth outfit of the "day", which is identical to the first outfit of the previous day...

Ruby's friends allegedly come and then leave unseen, so they may be completely fictional.

She says they stayed for only half of Love Actually on this Love Actually movie night. So either they realised after reuniting with Ruby for the first time since school that only 45 minutes around her was more than enough and they bolted, or Ruby believes "movie night" is short for "myoove along, goodnight!" and threw them out into the street when she got bored of the movie.

She likely has a similar misunderstanding of a "movie marathon", and thinks that's when you invite people round to watch the first twenty minutes of a movie and then ask them to leave your house in the middle of nowhere to run 10 miles home.

After watching her mum put up some new light shades in a segment where Ruby's accent completely changes again, it's time for the next day.

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It's Thursday 17th December, or the 16th as it actually was.

"Here we are in the morning and I finally got around to changing my bedding for Christmas bedding!" Or, y'know, at all.

By "Christmas bedding", she means the same penguin duvet set she left on her bed unchanged for most of last year.

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It's time for more gift wrapping!

She bought Martha a single Glossier Balm Dotcom (the 'birthday' one, for some reason), and mentions that she "hasn't tried one of them before", so may not like or want one. She also got her the Gold Lip Gloss, which doesn't seem like Martha's thing.

She bought her Mum a Glossier Moon Mask and a Cookie Butter Balm Dotcom.

Ruby mentions that she's going to personalise her gifts for her mum and sister with "lots of little compliments".

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This is the family equivalent of giving a donation in someone's name at work for Secret Santa when they made the effort to get a thoughtful gift.

Not that monetary value is the most important thing with gifts, but Ruby is sitting on a shitload of money between all her lucrative, shady sponsor deals, stolen charity money, ad revenue, income from the house she owns, and so on. She had plenty of time to find a thoughtful, personal gift, or at least something that wasn't super cheap.

Martha's gift cost £22. Her mum's cost £28. And it was likely just crap she bought to bulk up her Glossier sponsor-begging order and not something she thought either of them actually wanted.

And she just shoves her written compliment cards in the standard ziplock delivery bag it came in rather than transfer them to a Christmassy gift box or something. Add to that the fact that the gifts were stored in a tomb of mold and disease and this is the most half-assed, thoughtless thing ever, especially when Martha seems to go the extra mile to buy Ruby thoughtful things.

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Ruby has a management call. Presumable they were collaborating on excuses to give to customers enquiring as to where their missing orders are.

"Just tell them we've sent them! That'll buy us a couple of weeks!"

Ruby rambles that she's going to write and sent some more letters and cards, including one to Sacha. Again, Ruby knows like four people. For someone so preachy about sustainability, she sure is wasting a lot of card and paper for no reason.

"Oh, and also! I never showed you..." Ruby says, as she shows us something she did, in fact, already show us:

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Is this the result of malnutrition-based memory loss, or just Ruby not paying attention while editing and failing to keep track of her fabricated schedule? I'll let you be the judge.

Ruby complains that she's cutting it fine by leaving it so late posting cards and letters. Even though all the people getting these apparently vital correspondence were only deemed worthy of 2nd Class stamps:

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She posts her stack of cards and awkwardly leaves them dangling on the edge for a while like a bizarre moron, apparently expecting some helpful post elf to grab them from inside or something. Eventually she pushes them in and you hear a loud, echoing thud as it hits the bottom of a clearly mostly empty postbox.

Ruby then rambles deliriously how she loves when you post letters at Christmas and you can't hear it hitting the bottom of the postbox, because this must mean that the postbox is full and that so many people must be receiving Christmas cards.

Because things like bills, housing, council, and business correspondence don't exist in Ruby's sheltered world of childish fantasy. It has to be Christmas cards. Also the postbox was mostly empty. And you could clearly hear it loudly hit the bottom.

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Another outfit later and Ruby is in another different living room to do yet more wrapping. This is for a friend of her mother's, which covers about 75% of the people Ruby knows, another 15% being her mother's friends' children, the other 5% being Blakeney.

This family friend is apparently so close that she feels to Ruby like a godmother, so she's going to re-gift her a wax seal from Note & Wish that was sent to Ruby for free, and only Ruby would want anyway.

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Ruby starts plugging Note & Wish, which is an "AT-SEA shop" that Ruby loves - she makes absolutely zero mention or disclaimer that Note & Wish have sent her gifted products.

She says she's going to make her own wrapping paper (by this she means she's just using brown packing paper instead of wrapping paper), then turns to sternly point at the camera:

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"I recycle MY paper as well," she says with pompous attitude, after showing herself wasting a small rainforest's worth of paper and card that could've easily been a few emails. But that wouldn't be "ass-thetic", would it Rubes?

And she neglects to mention all those times she had her parents drive back and forth across the country burning petrol and spitting out CO2 emissions unnecessarily because she couldn't go a few days without going home and wouldn't get the train herself because she's a big spoilt baby.

Or all those times she added to the postal service's carbon footprint by having her parents send parcels full of pointless crap that she could've collected from home in a couple of days anyway, all so that she could make believe she was getting care packages at a boarding school.

And what about all those times she praised companies for sending her tiny free food items in hefty, wasteful packaging even though she didn't need it and they could've easily sent an e-voucher for the same store-stocked items, like Manilife.

The list goes on. This ain't the hill to get self-righteous on, Ruby. Put your finger away and stop digging holes for yourself.

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This whole video is clearly just one long excuse to give the gift of gifted products or to advertise brands she hopes will sponsor her.

She mentions that she's going to add ink stamps to the wrapping paper, and gives a plug to the "AT-SEA" store who sent them.

Not content to confine herself to rubbing the gift all over the filthy floor of just one room, she takes it to a different room once she's done to pick up some dirt and grime from the floor there, too.

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By the time she's done, there's greasemarks and fingerprints on the paper as she turns it around, and it looks like something she found in the bin in an alley behind a butcher's shop.

But she's not done yet! There's also a card to violently smear across the dirty hardwood, and an additional gift!

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That's right, just what everyone want to find under their treat - a crappy granola bar.

Note the sleeve - outfit number three for this day. The footage here was also clearly filmed at night.

It's daylight again, and Ruby's gone with her mother to a charity shop that she refuses to name, because that would be too much like a good deed.

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Ruby beams about this doll because it apparently looks EXACTLY like she imagined Emily from A Little Princess to look. By which I assume she means 1.5 feet high and demonic, in which case add that to the list of books Ruby didn't read.

After that, they go to Hobbycraft, and she happily names them because they have money to potentially sponsor her.

She's there to get something to "go along with Martha's main gift" which Ruby can't tell anyone because she's scared it'll get back to her. She says we might be able to guess though, as she holds up a big jug/jar thing:

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Judging by the trend and quality of Ruby's given other people in this video, they fall into two categories:

1. Bacteria.
2. Things that Ruby likes or was gifted.

So if we assume that jar is a clue, Martha's main gift will either be a jar of sewage or those flowers that Ruby got from her management repurposed in a new jar.

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Ruby grabs some pens. She claims these are gifts for viewers, but they're clearly just for Ruby. She makes the point to show the prices, too, because leaving the price tag visible is always the proper thing to do with a gift. She happily shows that even when she's pretending to buy gifts for viewers, those common scum ain't worth spending more than £3 as far as Ruby's concerned.

And then they fuck off to John Lewis, because of course they did.

After torturing us with In The Hall of the Mountain King again, Ruby finds a musical card display which plays In The Hall of the Mountain King.

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Back home, Ruby says she has another gift for her mother, the audio is terrible (big shock) but she holds up a bag and says she bought her mother what sounds like "urinal balls", which would fit the bacteria trend.

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"It's an inside joke." Because those always make the best gifts.

She also got her a copy of Frankenstein, which Ruby says she's going to make a "literary gift box" out of. I mean, we've seen Ruby's creative skills. This won't end well. She's probably just going to glue macaroni and glitter all over the fucking book like a toddler.

"And her main gift I already wrapped." Following the trend, it'll just be a Miss Patina top covered in compost.

Ruby's family opening their presents from her:

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Putting all the gifts under the tree in their depressingly empty living room, Ruby turns it into a competition as she can't stop herself from pointing out how many of the gifts from her are under the tree compared to how few other people have put under.

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That might be because other people didn't just wrap a bunch of small re-gifted garbage and actually went and got something thoughtful, Ruby.

Ruby then giving a tour of the tree ornaments, but neglects to explain the touching festive family story behind the ornament with boobs all over it:

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And she finishes up by plugging the online Dickens Museum performance of A Christmas Carol.

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She slaps a disclaimer on-screen to say it's not sponsored, so you can take her word for it, even though moments before she was gifted tickets to this. What a fucking moron.
 
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Satisfying Click

VIP Member
Starting a new thread for Ruby.

Congratulations to @Griftwood on the thread title, your prizes include a Waterstones gift voucher, a subscription to Nord VPN and a ribbon for your planner.

Have a productive thread!
 
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lmwfh17

Active member
calling bs right now on her “thinking that makeup was anti feminist.” she doesn’t give a fuck about feminism, she just thought she was better than other girls her age for not wearing makeup lmao
 
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Ilaariaa

VIP Member
And once again Rubix Cube has not done her research on the brand she is partnering with....

Whilst the cause she is talking about is important - she is partnering with PETA, the org that had a campaign saying that dairy caused autism and has had countless other problematic campaigns.

Surprisingly, nearly the entire comment section is pointing this out. Made me smile and I scrolled through hundreds of people asking Rhubarb why she would even partner with them.

Alas this isn’t enough to stop Roobeeee taking money from a corrupt org!
Ruby would partner with the fucking Taliban if they offered enough money
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
I know we made fun of Ruby for running out of the house because she heard some noise but my electric toothbrush just turned itself on and now I'm convinced my house is haunted.
You have summoned the productivity demon. The curse is upon you now.

You will hear the echoes of its spirit calling out in the dead of night "HeLlOoOoOooo, iT's RoOoOooBeEeEeEeee!"

Your toothbrush will move of its own accord, and partially-read children's books will materialise in your bathroom sink.

Everywhere you go, it will always feel cold.

Any candles in the house will tilt to a 45 degree angle of their own accord.

You'll begin to find to-do lists of basic, obvious tasks scratched into your walls.

Your fridge door will contantly open itself.

Grime will fill your kitchen and dishes will become impossible to clean.

Any money in the house will spontaneously disappear and be replaced with cryptic, scribbled IOUs for Holocaust memorials.

After the initial haunting, then the spirit will begin to take control of your body.

You'll begin to forget all your important meetings and train schedules will become impossible to decipher.

You'll start to forget the meanings and spellings of obvious, common words.

Basic 30 minute tasks will take an additional seven days to complete.

You will have the instinctive compulsion to lie and embellish, no matter how small the subject.

You will have the compulsion to say that you ALWAYS do things that you never actually do.

You will lose all interest in age-appropriate entertainment, hobbies and clothing, and will be overcome by the inate need to dress like a Victorian toddler and enjoy nothing above a recommended age of 11.

The only way to rid yourself of this curse is to form a pentagram of Perkier bars within the sacred grounds of a Waterstones and place an LG Gram laptop in the centre of it. Cover the laptop in an item of Miss Patina clothing and burn it on a full moon while chanting "October is probably my favourite month".

#PrayForStormweald
 
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infernallyurs

New member
i don't know if its just the city i live in, but random presents left around for people to find would be reported to the police as potential bomb threats lol
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
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Ruby's Management: "Merry Christmas! We got you a little something we think you'll love! ;)"
Ruby: "A WATERSTONES DEAL?!?! 🙈"
Ruby's Management: "Um...well, no. This is awkward. We already got that for Jack..."
Ruby: "Oh my gosh, is it a book deal?!?! 💫"
Ruby's Management: "Ah, jeez...This is double awkward. We got that for Vee..."
Ruby: "Well, is it a--"
Ruby's Management: "--Look, it's some dead flowers, okay? Goodbye."
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
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Yet again, Ruby's physically incapable of adding the name of the independent small business she went to and that might benefit greatly from the exposure.

But if it's Waterstones, she'll make eleven posts and a video to remind you that she visited Waterstones and loves Waterstones and did she mention that she went to Waterstones because she went to Waterstones and Waterstones was the most Waterstonesy that Waterstones has ever been!
 
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lmwfh17

Active member
Can only imagine how seething with jealousy she must have been on that train home considering that Vee did her undergrad at Oxford, masters at Harvard and had her book launch in waterstones
 
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