Am I the only one who saw a new video from Ruby go up and then instantly disappear or was I imagining it? For reference it was a video on "How I organise my massive stationery collection"
Ruby Granger #15 Dustcore
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A video like that came up in my recommendeds, but it was from around a year ago.
Edit: This one:
Ah, yes. My bad, must have misread the upload date!
Nah this outfit has sent me
Isn't it called Picnic AT Hanging Rock?
Not 'on'
I read it, saw the movie and have also been to the actual place (Hanging Rock)
"Dickens takes us around the city, introducing us to characters, scenes and places." So, like pretty much every author in every story then? What's next, "This book contains words"?
Why is she dressed like a deranged, malnourished magician?
oh geez. nevermind my post. She just wants to larp as a weird kind of model
I had another deep dive into Ruby's videos today and the more I watch her, I find that I have changed my view of her and I almost (and I hate to say this because I believe her to be a really good person at her core) pity her. She is a prisoner of her fear of failure and I cannot imagine how dark her feelings for herself and her place in the world can be if she paralyses her development into full adulthood with her very narrow and childlike view of the world. Yes, see the magic, see the beauty but don't be blinkered. We all need to grow up sometime.
I am nearly twenty years older than Ruby. I have lived a full life with a marriage, children and a whole other way of seeing life and my achievements. I am not academic. I think I could have done well at English actually as I love reading and analysis and I can just about string a sentence together but at the time, I was more interested in my boyfriend who is now my husband and father to our kids. I messed up my A Levels and didn't go to uni. I got a job, drifted into and out of them and then had my children which is an education all on its own. Once my kids were old enough, I decided to change my life and retrained to be a pre-school teacher. I love it and I actually think the path I took has led me here to what I am supposed to be.
What does any of this have to do with Ruby? Well, one of the fundamental things we teach children in pre-school is how to fall. What I mean by that is what do you do if you fall over? You assess the damage, you treat the wound and you learn a lesson. This can be taken literally or figuratively. This can be applied to running into things, learning how to manage your feelings, learning how to mend friendships if you fall out. The only way to learn is to make a mistake and try again until you know how not to fall in the first place.
Perfectionism is the war that occurs when a child fears the fall because shame becomes their teacher instead of the mistake. It is such a terribly self destructive, deeply damaging and pointless pursuit. I absolutely loathe how academia rewards and encourages people like Ruby to be this way. Yes, you'll get top marks and tick all the boxes and probably earn more money as a result but what has it cost you? You cannot live a life dependent on never ever making errors. It is completely unsustainable and unrealistic. To quote the incomparable and unmistakeably wise woman that is Taylor Swift "....if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow...". She's entirely right.
I have made mistakes in my life and I am so grateful I did. I am so glad I was so lazy as an 18 year old who thought she could do no work and pass. That girl was too immature and ignorant to survive university. I'm so glad I drifted from job to job with no purpose because I met so many different people from different backgrounds. I'm so glad I had my babies early because as exhausting as it was, I learned SO much from that. I learned from the inside how parents feel and cope with their lives which is a huge advantage in my job.
I'm rambling but to conclude, mistakes are the most necessary part of life.
You cannot avoid them, so embrace them.
Fall, bleed, grow.
It's alright now.....
I am nearly twenty years older than Ruby. I have lived a full life with a marriage, children and a whole other way of seeing life and my achievements. I am not academic. I think I could have done well at English actually as I love reading and analysis and I can just about string a sentence together but at the time, I was more interested in my boyfriend who is now my husband and father to our kids. I messed up my A Levels and didn't go to uni. I got a job, drifted into and out of them and then had my children which is an education all on its own. Once my kids were old enough, I decided to change my life and retrained to be a pre-school teacher. I love it and I actually think the path I took has led me here to what I am supposed to be.
What does any of this have to do with Ruby? Well, one of the fundamental things we teach children in pre-school is how to fall. What I mean by that is what do you do if you fall over? You assess the damage, you treat the wound and you learn a lesson. This can be taken literally or figuratively. This can be applied to running into things, learning how to manage your feelings, learning how to mend friendships if you fall out. The only way to learn is to make a mistake and try again until you know how not to fall in the first place.
Perfectionism is the war that occurs when a child fears the fall because shame becomes their teacher instead of the mistake. It is such a terribly self destructive, deeply damaging and pointless pursuit. I absolutely loathe how academia rewards and encourages people like Ruby to be this way. Yes, you'll get top marks and tick all the boxes and probably earn more money as a result but what has it cost you? You cannot live a life dependent on never ever making errors. It is completely unsustainable and unrealistic. To quote the incomparable and unmistakeably wise woman that is Taylor Swift "....if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow...". She's entirely right.
I have made mistakes in my life and I am so grateful I did. I am so glad I was so lazy as an 18 year old who thought she could do no work and pass. That girl was too immature and ignorant to survive university. I'm so glad I drifted from job to job with no purpose because I met so many different people from different backgrounds. I'm so glad I had my babies early because as exhausting as it was, I learned SO much from that. I learned from the inside how parents feel and cope with their lives which is a huge advantage in my job.
I'm rambling but to conclude, mistakes are the most necessary part of life.
You cannot avoid them, so embrace them.
Fall, bleed, grow.
It's alright now.....
That whole description makes me roll my eyes so hard they might stick. "Dicken's takes us on a journey, introducing us to people, places, and things". So basically you are describing every fictional book ever. She does this all the time. Writes a bunch of non-descript nonsense, that proves she cares more about the appearance of being well-read, but just isn't. I still don't know how she gets firsts when she clearly lacks the ability to be articulate. I am not familiar with the book she is talking about, but her "review" didn't provide me with anything meaningful, and I still have no idea what the book is about. "Witty travel writing". Okay, meaning what exactly?
Why does a 21-year-old girl in 2021 own a top hat and why would she wear it in public
I see she's back with Suf-john Stevens
I had to look up what Dickens' first novel was because based on her description and the outfit I had no idea lol
I guess now we all know her answer to "Big Hat or Small Hat" on Hypothetical (for any of you that watch it)
This is extremely well put and expertly articulated; thanks so much for writing that out.
Everything in this picture exudes sadness: the face, the outfit, the whole situation. Her eccentricity is getting out of hand.
This girl needs to get away from the internet, have a drink with friends, read without doing a performance... just live without doing eccentricities. Being different is OK, just keep it to yourself.
This just reminds me of that Parks and Rec episode where April goes for the pageant - “I like people, places, and things”
Except she is taking the piss and being stupid… and Ruby is nearing the end of an English Literature degree and giving a genuine book review…
Your thoughts and experience would be of more value to people than those of the study-tubers who try to present themselves as having perfect lives. They are doing a disservice to their many fans who think this is what to aim for. One of Ruby's followers recently wrote how perfect Ruby's life seems and hers is nothing like that as she is in another country without all the advantages Ruby has and cannot have a perfect life like that. Neither Ruby or her followers see the damage being done with this pretense of seeming "perfect."
I do remember when Ruby didn't get into Oxford, her parents did tell her it was good for her experience failure and redo her plans, etc. I wonder how aware they are of her current ED issues--sometimes it is hard to notice change when you see someone everyday and they are often wearing loose clothing. I have not been a regular viewer of the posts, but when I saw one from recent weeks where R. showed her morning routine--popping out of bed in her linen sleep shorts and camisole--I was stunned by how thin she had become--her legs were almost like sticks. Is it possible her parents are not aware? It is really past time for some intervention before the situation get worse.
I do enjoy the gossip here and the witty things posters say give me a much-needed laugh, but I do feel real concern for R., as I'm sure most posters do. The ramifications of ED can be very serious. R. reminds me a lot of VeganHolly who is also a high achieving ED type and in both cases I think social media has given them at outlet that prevents them from facing reality. They get money and praise and the illusion of many friends. H. barely seemed to interact with anyone in her 3 months in Australia, except for her instagram family and her mother through daily phone calls. She seemed very isolated at Cambridge too, which is sad---you just don't have these opportunities to meet so many new people once you are an adult and working.
THIS THIS THIS 1000 times over! I am due to start my primary PGCE next month, and one of my greatest motivators to be an educator is to help my students learn “how to fail” in all the ways I didn’t… until I was 21 and faced the biggest “failure” of my life, suspending my degree 6 months out from graduation because my mental health hit rock bottom.
I was Ruby. I was the girl who measured her self worth by numbers, by grades, by social media likes, and in the end by calories too - the final thing being the tipping point, and what I fear will be Ruby’s too. All of that was embroiled in the pursuit of “perfection.”
If my recovery journey was a book, the title would be “How to fail” - to quote Elizabeth Day, who would get an honorary mention in my dedication, because her podcast by the same name has been a game changer for me!
It was during the THREE YEAR break from my degree that I decided do work experience in a primary school, and after just one day I knew that’s what I wanted to do. No question. That afternoon one student had expressed her fear of failure with me - I vividly remember it was over a shoebox doll house they were making. She was so scared of getting it wrong that she had barely started 30 minutes in!
I saw how, bytalking to her and empathising, I was able to reach her in a way that jaw stayed with me ever since. I realised that, not only could I rewrite my own story, but I could give others the tools to write their own with words that are infinitely kinder, positive and - well - accept that they are HUMAN.
As I said, It was THREE whole years before I went back to my degree. That is how long it took me to truly get my life back from the grips of an ED, which was merely a mask for the real issue of crippling perfectionism and self-worth. I write this because I do desperately fear that history will repeat itself with Ruby. Just knowing that she is doing the same degree at the same university is like dejavu, but there is one more similarity that I almost fear more than any other - the role of the “good girl”; the “perfect student.”
I played it for over a decade. At school, and then at Uni. I was the girl who didn’t so much as drink a sip of alcohol until freshers week, never went out to nightclubs and - yes - I did judge others who did. I had that superiority that i see in Ruby, because that is not what the “good girl” does. That is not what the “model student” does.
Yet that “good girl” didn’t realise how bad things had gotten; how far she had lost herself in the pursuit of perfection. She didn’t realise because the lie was so powerful she had convinced even herself it was true; that the A*s and 1sts and curated images on Instagram were somehow more real than the sunken cheeks, the dead clumps of hair, the bloodshot eyes and the silent tears.
They’re not, Ruby. And if your reading this, I only hope you realise it before it is too late. I say that as someone who geninely cares, which is more than can be said for the dozens of ”fans” on Instagram and YouTube, who at this point are no more than enablers.
I am so sorry for how long this is! But I needed to get it off my chest, as you’ll provably understand why. The quoted post really hit me - but in a good way. In that I’m so thankful I was able to “make it it the other side” and now use my experience to “do some good in the world” as Hermione would say ( book seven Hermione, that is… when she’d finally sorted out her priorities!)
This is so true. I mean, I don't care whether she drinks alcohol or not. But yes, get out and live your life while it is good. Do stuff. Experience life. Forget putting on a show, forget dressing up, forget your stupid "Let's Pretend" attitude and just get living! In the scheme of things, in the sum of your life, social media is nothing. Nil. Nada. Useless. How many people lived without it and still do? How many people lived healthy and full lives without opening FB accounts or dancing around on TikTok, worrying over likes on Instagram and fussing over comments on YouTube. How many have reached their goals and beyond without ever even touching a computer or smart phone? Try it, Ruby. What happened to learning how to drive this summer? What about a job? Work? Reading some challenging literature? Hanging out with friends without posing or comparing body images, or dressing up in similar outfits? wtf is going on with her? She is so lost and messed up.
I am so happy for you! It takes so much guts and guile to really do some serious self-reflection and realise how much you were hurting yourself and for what it's worth (which granted isn't much as I'm just a stranger on the internet), I'm so proud of you! Do you realise what you did? You took your life back from an impossible standard and you are working to ensure that other children in your care don't fall into that same trap. That is a great and beautiful thing! Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so happy for you! xxxx
when you have to lead a Victorian funeral procession to lead at 6 but a meeting at your private school at 7
I agree. I am also very concerned for Ruby. I have never had an eating disorder so I don't know what that feels like. I cannot imagine what that hell must entail. I do know, as a parent myself, that denial is incredibly easy when you deal with a child going through something worrying. I will not say what it was my own child was going through but it was only when it was pointed out to me in the most devastating and undeniable way that I was able to break through that denial and do what was necessary to help my child. Denial is addictive. It actively works against logic because logic is a painful, real and raw monster that demands an answer. Denial is nicer. Denial is easier. Denial lets you write the narrative.
For people like Ruby who live by the numbers and clicks and pats on the head, social media is the perfect storm and I agree that it does her no good to present her life as being perfect. I wish she had the guts to be so brave as to be truly real but to do that, she has to let go and be vulnerable enough to fall. Her personality type and her possible ED won't let her do that. It's so sad and I truly and sincerely hope she has a breakthrough soon and can get better.
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