Relationship Break.

[Suzesnooze]

Is this the neighbour you saw on Tinder back in May?!

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

I could be totally wrong. Just from my experience if a man suddenly asks for a break out the blue then there can be another woman behind it all. As I said, just my experience from what has happened to me and friends in the past but please don't take that as gospel.

Are you taking some time to figure out what you really want from the relationship?

I agree it can happen yes.

Yes we are, hence the break.

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

And how would I know if their is another women.

Do you honestly think he will be wanting to rent a place totally by himself/get a mortgage/ and pay all the bills alone, having to do everything for himself with little company or anything else? Most of my friends have been separated/divorced more than once etc and I've never know a man to leave his girlfriend/wife to live as a single man ever. They all without exception have someone else. Sorry I know is hard.
[/QUOTE]
true true

 

[Peakyblinders]

I’m going through this at the minute. Watched SO many videos on narcissism, and the empath in me is almost self-destructive, but I’m keeping him at arms length.

So happy for you doing the things on your list that you’ve probably been putting off I find that’s the best remedy and I’m trying to do the same

Same here, the videos on narcissism are crazy arent they! How are you and your situation? x

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

Not quite the same scenario, but my partner and I actually split up and then got back together, and it did us the world of good!

For us though, it was more separate issues that we needed to deal with, rather than a lack of love or either of us seeing anyone else. I’d say that for it to work you need to be really open with each other and figure out what you want from the break, and what the terms and conditions are. If he suggests that seeing other people, I feel like it’s an excuse to sleep with someone else.

Their are other issues in regards to this break. It wasn't mentioned about sleeping with other people. We were very open with each other.

And how would I know if their is another women.

Do you honestly think he will be wanting to rent a place totally by himself/get a mortgage/ and pay all the bills alone, having to do everything for himself with little company or anything else? Most of my friends have been separated/divorced more than once etc and I've never know a man to leave his girlfriend/wife to live as a single man ever. They all without exception have someone else. Sorry I know is hard.
[/QUOTE]
Who said he wants to rent himself, I never said that was the case. he doesn't have his own place..

I would spend the time concentrating on what you want. I hope it all works out ok for you.

I am doing just that. Thank you

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

I'm just putting this out their to see if anyone else has ever come to a mutal arrangement with their partner that they want a 'break' ?

Myself and my partner decided on Monday that it was for the best as he felt like the love had gone, originally he wanted to end it but when we met and had a catch, we decided it wasn't what we wanted.

We agreed on a week and today is the first day I spoke to him since Monday and I've missed him, I obviously haven't said that but he did say that he would hate to see me unhappy.

As a women it's very hard for me to not read to much into it.

Any advice please?

 

[under the ivy]

Sorry to hear this! This is the issue and ive had it done to me before, they stay in touch with the odd text here and there to make sure that they are still on your mind so that you dont fully move on - and that really isnt fair. How are you? x

I’m OK, good and bad days! It’s weird just going from being together all the time to nothing, no contact. The urge to text back is there but I’m staying strong. His loss!

 

[Peakyblinders]

So you got together during lockdown? Had this discussion with a friend..it’s like men were happy to be in a relationship during lockdown when no pubs etc open but once everything is back open they want their single life back again.

If he said he didn’t love you anymore and wanted a break it sounds to me like he used you during lockdown and now he’s off enjoying the single life again. Sorry to be blunt.

I agree with this - 3 months is nothing and really shouldnt be having a break after such a short time like seriously? How can the "love be gone" if you have only been together 3 months? Really think you should walk away but i know it is easier said than done.

Totally agree with some of the comments on here, sounds like there's someone else that he has feelings for. A man never up and leaves unless it's for a reason, trust me. I've seen it happen too many times x

I dont agree with this I have had guys up and leave me before that I have been seeing - for various reasons and it wasnt another girl. I have also up and left a guy I was seeing for certain reasons, no other men involved.

 

[Booington]

I can understandcthe need for a break, gawd knows i could do with one from my husband sometimes but what would concern me is the rules of that, have you decided when to meet to discuss if you want to remain together? I think in reality its either all or nothing, except if you dont live together and just aren't having dates this week?

Dont know if that makes sense or not! Has Lockdown played a part in yhis?

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

Ultimately, no one else is in your relationship and every relationship is different. I know I keep some things from my family and friends about my husbands behavior because they would judge him and that is not their place when he has mental health episodes.

You know your partner better than anyone, and if you don't to me that's a red flag all of its own. Why do you think he needed the break? What has he been doing on the break? I agree with what other have said, it is very rare for a man to leave his current partner to be single. I know men who have been dumped and have a new partner in weeks and all the other who left had someone else in the wings. Men are generally lazy and why would they leave to be on their own unless they had something else lined up. Also, I find that most men spend so long in their heads by the time they have spoke to you about the issues the relationship is over and has been for a while in their minds.

I hope it all works out for you, but be prepared it may not have the outcome you want. Take some time to focus on you, your life and what you want rather than waiting for him to decide if he want to be in it with you.

He said that the reason for the breaks was for sort things out in his life as in financial worries, problems with his ex those sorts of things. I don't really wanna go into it too much as it's personal to our relationship.

Ultimately I won't know intill Monday, I've had no reason to suspect their is someone else as he has always been open with his phone and never hides it.

I'm using this time to get myself in order and figure things out for myself but if it's the end their isn't much I can do. Accepting it will be hard but life goes on.

 

[CynicalV]

And she said he doesn't have his own place. So he can't be the neighbour. Unless the neighbour just gave up their place the moment they swiped right and moved in with her.. and if they left for the break where did they leave to? Back to across the road?

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Is this the neighbour you saw on Tinder back in May?!

Is that same person?!

 

[Spencerskates]

My boyfriend and I split up during lockdown, I’d really like to know how long you and your partner split up before getting back together? Of course every one is different but did you both stop all communications during this time? We’ve been seeing each other 3 x per week for weeks which hasn’t allowed either of us to really see what life is like without each other. But I suspect it’s what we need in order to actually see how much we mean to each other.

For us, we broke up at the end of July and had just over a month of no contact at all, blocked from social media etc. Then from the end of August/early September to January ish we started to regain contact, friendly conversations, unblocked on social media, and started spending time together as friends at the end of Jan, talking through our issues and figuring out what we both wanted, then got back together early April.

Long process but we’ve been back together over two years and our relationship is better than it ever was! Best of luck to you, I hope you get the outcome that you’re looking for.

 

[Suzesnooze]

How long have you been together? Did you get together while he was still with his ex or just after? Was it a rebound relationship on his part?

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

We have agreed to meet again in a weeks time, he was living at mine and he left his stuff their so I see that as a good thing.

I've respected his decision and like I'm said giving him space.

We have checked in with each other today and it was a pleasant chat.

The thought of another women has crossed my mind but he hasn't given me any reason to think otherwise.

Maybe I'm just naive and should bin him off.

I will openly admit our relationship did move quickly but I never thought any different of it.

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

How long have you been together? Did you get together while he was still with his ex or just after? Was it a rebound relationship on his part?

No he has been separated from his ex for 4 years but they got kids together.

 

[Suzesnooze]

No he has been separated from his ex for 4 years but they got kids together.

How long have you been together?

 

[User_name_100]

I agree it can happen yes.

Yes we are, hence the break.

I would spend the time concentrating on what you want. I hope it all works out ok for you.

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

How long have you been together?

3 months officially but was talking way before we got together.

 

[Likkleone]

Not quite the same scenario, but my partner and I actually split up and then got back together, and it did us the world of good!

For us though, it was more separate issues that we needed to deal with, rather than a lack of love or either of us seeing anyone else. I’d say that for it to work you need to be really open with each other and figure out what you want from the break, and what the terms and conditions are. If he suggests that seeing other people, I feel like it’s an excuse to sleep with someone else.

My boyfriend and I split up during lockdown, I’d really like to know how long you and your partner split up before getting back together? Of course every one is different but did you both stop all communications during this time? We’ve been seeing each other 3 x per week for weeks which hasn’t allowed either of us to really see what life is like without each other. But I suspect it’s what we need in order to actually see how much we mean to each other.