Relationship Break.

[noonecaresaboutyou]

I'm just putting this out their to see if anyone else has ever come to a mutal arrangement with their partner that they want a 'break' ?

Myself and my partner decided on Monday that it was for the best as he felt like the love had gone, originally he wanted to end it but when we met and had a catch, we decided it wasn't what we wanted.

We agreed on a week and today is the first day I spoke to him since Monday and I've missed him, I obviously haven't said that but he did say that he would hate to see me unhappy.

As a women it's very hard for me to not read to much into it.

Any advice please?

 

[Booington]

I can understandcthe need for a break, gawd knows i could do with one from my husband sometimes but what would concern me is the rules of that, have you decided when to meet to discuss if you want to remain together? I think in reality its either all or nothing, except if you dont live together and just aren't having dates this week?

Dont know if that makes sense or not! Has Lockdown played a part in yhis?

 

[Chandler Bing]

We agreed on a break with my ex, in the end we were apart for about 2 months. I don't know if he wanted to get back together, I didn't but we kept seeing each other because of a mutual hobby and a group of friends so we kind of just drifted back together without much thought because it was easy. We split up for good about 15 months after that (we lived together for the last 6 months of the relationship which was a huge mistake).

I know that if my husband told me he wants a break because the love is gone then that break is permanent. I deserve better than that, I'm not going to be waiting around to see if the love comes back. I'd rather be on my own than with someone who doesn't love me and want to be with me, I've been there before and never again.

 

[Ellsbells123]

Do you live together?
I think I would want some kind of time line put into place, you say he says that the love has gone? Maybe the break will make him realise if it has or not, but it’s not fair on you to be left in limbo.

 

[Raininvain]

If someone's saying that to you I think they have got someone else lined up but are keeping you in the wings in case it doesn't work out or they change their minds. Men don't move on unless they have someone else sorry.
Let him go and keep your dignity don't be waiting whilst he decides which woman.

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

We have agreed to meet again in a weeks time, he was living at mine and he left his stuff their so I see that as a good thing.

I've respected his decision and like I'm said giving him space.

We have checked in with each other today and it was a pleasant chat.

The thought of another women has crossed my mind but he hasn't given me any reason to think otherwise.

Maybe I'm just naive and should bin him off.

I will openly admit our relationship did move quickly but I never thought any different of it.

 

[Ellsbells123]

I think ultimately you have to do what is right for you and a only you know that.
Just don’t let him mess you around, you can’t wait forever for him to decide what he wants
Hope it all works out for you!

 

[On A Roll]

My ex and I had a break, but looking back with hindsight, he used it as an excuse to ‘make the break-up easier’. In fact it did the opposite, as when we did officially break up, it was horrible and I was very bitter towards him for a while.

hindsight is a great thing, at the time I really had no idea what to do as I didn’t want to believe it was over etc.

 

[User_name_100]

If someone's saying that to you I think they have got someone else lined up but are keeping you in the wings in case it doesn't work out or they change their minds. Men don't move on unless they have someone else sorry.
Let him go and keep your dignity don't be waiting whilst he decides which woman.

Agree with this. I reckon there's another woman behind all of this.

Has him suggesting a break come out of nowhere by any chance?

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

Agree with this. I reckon there's another woman behind all of this.

Has him suggesting a break come out of nowhere by any chance?

And how would I know if their is another women.

 

[User_name_100]

And how would I know if their is another women.

I could be totally wrong. Just from my experience if a man suddenly asks for a break out the blue then there can be another woman behind it all. As I said, just my experience from what has happened to me and friends in the past but please don't take that as gospel.

Are you taking some time to figure out what you really want from the relationship?

 

[Spencerskates]

Not quite the same scenario, but my partner and I actually split up and then got back together, and it did us the world of good!

For us though, it was more separate issues that we needed to deal with, rather than a lack of love or either of us seeing anyone else. I’d say that for it to work you need to be really open with each other and figure out what you want from the break, and what the terms and conditions are. If he suggests that seeing other people, I feel like it’s an excuse to sleep with someone else.

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Just don't have a break and your fella gets someone else pregnant and decide he wants you back you spend most your life being second best when baby comes im not being selfish just sick of the mother of his kid clicking her fingers and him jumping

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

I could be totally wrong. Just from my experience if a man suddenly asks for a break out the blue then there can be another woman behind it all. As I said, just my experience from what has happened to me and friends in the past but please don't take that as gospel.

Are you taking some time to figure out what you really want from the relationship?

I agree it can happen yes.

Yes we are, hence the break.

 

[User_name_100]

I agree it can happen yes.

Yes we are, hence the break.

I would spend the time concentrating on what you want. I hope it all works out ok for you.

 

[Raininvain]

And how would I know if their is another women.
[/QUOTE]
Do you honestly think he will be wanting to rent a place totally by himself/get a mortgage/ and pay all the bills alone, having to do everything for himself with little company or anything else? Most of my friends have been separated/divorced more than once etc and I've never know a man to leave his girlfriend/wife to live as a single man ever. They all without exception have someone else. Sorry I know is hard.

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

And how would I know if their is another women.

Do you honestly think he will be wanting to rent a place totally by himself/get a mortgage/ and pay all the bills alone, having to do everything for himself with little company or anything else? Most of my friends have been separated/divorced more than once etc and I've never know a man to leave his girlfriend/wife to live as a single man ever. They all without exception have someone else. Sorry I know is hard.
[/QUOTE]
true true

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

Not quite the same scenario, but my partner and I actually split up and then got back together, and it did us the world of good!

For us though, it was more separate issues that we needed to deal with, rather than a lack of love or either of us seeing anyone else. I’d say that for it to work you need to be really open with each other and figure out what you want from the break, and what the terms and conditions are. If he suggests that seeing other people, I feel like it’s an excuse to sleep with someone else.

Their are other issues in regards to this break. It wasn't mentioned about sleeping with other people. We were very open with each other.

And how would I know if their is another women.

Do you honestly think he will be wanting to rent a place totally by himself/get a mortgage/ and pay all the bills alone, having to do everything for himself with little company or anything else? Most of my friends have been separated/divorced more than once etc and I've never know a man to leave his girlfriend/wife to live as a single man ever. They all without exception have someone else. Sorry I know is hard.
[/QUOTE]
Who said he wants to rent himself, I never said that was the case. he doesn't have his own place..

I would spend the time concentrating on what you want. I hope it all works out ok for you.

I am doing just that. Thank you

 

[JoeBloggs]

We've has time apart when my husbands depression was bad. He needed some space but our relationship was never on a break. For me a break is a freedom to see other people and once that comes into play it’s over for me.

it’s happened twice and only for 2-3 days. The second time he asked me to come back after a few hours. We were living in a very small flat and since moving to somewhere bigger it hasn’t happened. Life can get on top of you especially at the moment.

 

[noonecaresaboutyou]

We've has time apart when my husbands depression was bad. He needed some space but our relationship was never on a break. For me a break is a freedom to see other people and once that comes into play it’s over for me.

it’s happened twice and only for 2-3 days. The second time he asked me to come back after a few hours. We were living in a very small flat and since moving to somewhere bigger it hasn’t happened. Life can get on top of you especially at the moment.

Alot of people have said that, and now my mind wonders....

Maybe I'm just kidding myself that all will be okay next week.