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I’m not disputing this and that there is a level of acceptance of mysogynistic behaviour as the “lad culture” and I also agree women are not to blame for the violent and aggressive behaviour of men towards them. I’m simply stating not all men “hate women” or want to do them harm.
Again I’m sure your facts are correct. And I’m more than aware that women are more likely to be killed by a man known to them. But let’s not pretend that I don’t know my father and how he is as a person. Or other men I know well and care for. I’m not going to label them as potentially women hating and violent when I have seen no such behaviour from them. I’d also like to add I’m a woman working in the CJS (and no not police).
It's not all men and we all know good and decent men but we can't tell a predator so we have to assume its all men. I'm not taking any chances and if that means I have to offend a few blokes by crossing the street or not letting them access my personal space then so be it.
Don’t disagree we all need to take precautions when it comes to unfamiliar or unknown men and keeping safe. I was responding about not all men in relation to a comment further up the thread that said the reason is “men hate women” and a few posters discussing why men are so awful and someone used Hitler as an example. I was simply pointing out there are many women just as culpable for horrific actions and crimes as well.
Men are awful though! Is the bar we are going to set a man is that at least he's not a rapist or killer? Men who are "decent" do awful things to women all the time. Everyday sexism is something most men are guilty of.
I am a woman that works alongside male peadophiles and violent offenders. It really opens your eyes how vulnerable women and children really are. I am trained in different levels of restraint, even chemical and I still carry a dog lead when I go out on my own. What makes me good at my job is my insight of these men due to my personal history of substance abuse, child abuse and domestic violence as I have spoken about before on various threads. I hate when we speak ok violence on women there is always somebody that will quote the typical ‘not all men’. We have a system in society that protect men while females and children are being abused or at risk of being abused. Look at WC and the safety net he had from his peers.
I don't see how we can protect our daughters in the future, I was in tears last night and could not sleep thinking of this case, as I'm sure many women are up and down the country. I don't know what the answer is.
Just gotta hope that mothers of boys raise their sons better. I think these day's people are more "woke"... Like, before black people used to get beat in the street for being black, same with gays - now hardly anyone cares if your black, gay, trans, asian, whatever. My son is in secondary school and they have kids that come "out" all the time and no one bats an eyelid. It's just "oh okay, what do you identify as now? What's your new name?" And that's it. They have PSHE in schools now too and they never had that when I was at school. They have people go in and do plays about being in abusive relationships and then discuss with the kids what they thought was bad and what to do if ever in that situation, etc. It starts at home and education.
I just keep thinking of her being handcuffed and completely helpless. He didn't need to do that, he was a big guy, he would have easily overpowered her. There is just something about her not being able to use her hands to defend herself that really upsets me.
With all due respect to you and your point cause I do understand what youre saying but I truly don't care. I don't care that not all men hate women. I don't care that there are lovely men in the world. I and fellow women (you included) have to live in fear and I've had a bleeping enough of it. All you do by saying "not all men" is deflect from the actual issue which is that women are constantly victims to the nasty men and the lovely men need to start listening and acting. I am sick to death of people saying "not all men" every time something like this happens. It was this man! It is other men. It's is still bleeping men! You don't get a pass for being a lovely man. You are SUPPOSED TO BE a lovely man! That is not a standard to reach to! You don't get a pat on the back and a cookie for not abusing women.
Yes there are a women who capable of horrific things but men don't live in fear of women like women do of men. Men don't panic if they encounter a woman late in the night for fear of being attacked. Men won't go forward fearing being stopped by a sole woman police officer. It is not the same thing. It is not the same thing. It is not the same thing. It is not the same thing!!!!!!!
The book 'Men who hate women' by Laura Bates Id also recommend.
It reminds me of that Margaret Attwood quote.
Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them.
We really need to stop patting men on the back for the most basic of things. Not being a rapist/murderer doesn't make you a good guy, it doesn't deserve praise. Men need to be called out for everything they do that feeds into the culture that allows crimes like this to happen. Every joke, inappropriate comment, every time they laugh along with a mate who makes a crude remark - even the nice guys who love their daughters and who wouldn't harm a fly.
I am so sick of the fear that women are living with. I am tired of having to safety plan when I go for a walk in the park or know I will be out late on my own. This has become our default as women to the point where we are blamed if we don't take precautions. Enough!! Time to make men accountable.
Men with these urges need a safe space to get help and rehabilitation before they start offending, starting from the ages of puberty. There is an online self help forum (I can’t remember what it is called) that self diagnosed peadophiles go to support each other to not offend / act on their urges. Nip it in the bud before the damage is done. The longer it is suppressed the worse it gets. When they start offending it is never enough.
Sarah is a reminder that women are not safe we are out numbered by opportunist men. There have been many more before Sarah and sadly they’ll be many more after her but I think this one has hit home because it was a police officer someone were taught to trust and keep people safe abusing his power to live out a twisted urge of rape and murder, they’ll be plenty of men like Wayne Couzen’s in all area’s of work life but they are always caught to late.
Testament to that exact sentence: on twitter just now -
"A 36-year-old man appears in court charged with the ‘predatory and premeditated’ murder of Sabina Nessa"
It never ends for us
They’re saying Couzen’s might have murdered before and have asked anyone who might know something to come forward. It might be that he preyed on the homeless and panicked when he realised Sarah wasn’t. Hopefully the police find out if he has
OMG where did you see this
Sorry I wasn’t clear. The first part is in the news. The second part I.e homeless is my assumption
Met Police investigate whether Wayne Couzens has struck BEFORE
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They’re suggesting his offence against Sarah was carried out with such a level of experience that she might not have been the first
What are YOUR rights if cop stops you on street?
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Parm Sandhu - an ex Chief Super - advises that anyone stopped by an “officer” they’re not sure to be legit should ask to see the radio they’re using (it should obvs be live) or there should be on in the vehicle even if unmarked. And also to ask THEM to radio through to speak to colleagues in the control room and confirm they are on duty.
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They’re suggesting his offence against Sarah was carried out with such a level of experience that she might not have been the first
What are YOUR rights if cop stops you on street?
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Parm Sandhu - an ex Chief Super - advises that anyone stopped by an “officer” they’re not sure to be legit should ask to see the radio they’re using (it should obvs be live) or there should be on in the vehicle even if unmarked. And also to ask THEM to radio through to speak to colleagues in the control room and confirm they are on duty.
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