Real Dads of Melbourne #2 Jarrad thinks he's the bees knees and too good for supermarket cheese.

[Dreamer01]

I see Jarrads caught up on tattle. It's all about Indian food at the moment beacause of their #closeconnection
Have they even contacted the mother since they collected Reid?
What is a good human?

 

[Bol85]

Close connection with India - translated to its the only place we could afford to do surrogacy & we’ve visited once in the past 13 years

 

[avex]

I see Jarrads caught up on tattle. It's all about Indian food at the moment beacause of their #closeconnection
Have they even contacted the mother since they collected Reid?
What is a good human?

They took Reid for a trip there a few years ago so he could meet his mother, but apart from that they show no close connection it or even attempt to teach Reid about his culture. When have they ever attended an Indian festival for him? Nothing, it's just about the food.

 

[savefloss]

I believe he met his surrogate but his bio mother is still anonymous? Vaguely remember she was a uni student donating eggs to get by. All of the above I find wholly unethical in a third world country. My guess is they didn’t go for baby number 2 once India stopped international surrogacy because doing the process in a country with actual standards without breaching human rights would have been too costly

 

[HitnMiss]

I believe he met his surrogate but his bio mother is still anonymous? Vaguely remember she was a uni student donating eggs to get by. All of the above I find wholly unethical in a third world country. My guess is they didn’t go for baby number 2 once India stopped international surrogacy because doing the process in a country with actual standards without breaching human rights would have been too costly

Absolutely unethical in a third world country. I would also argue that it's unethical fullstop as it goes against fundamental human needs in that a baby needs its mother. Before anyone says I'm homophobic, I'm definitely not. I was separated from my mother at birth and at nearly 60 years old I have not recovered from that unnatural rupture. Reid has that too but he's also separated from his culture. It's a lot for a kid even if he doesn't yet realise it.

 

[emmygluewho]

Absolutely unethical in a third world country. I would also argue that it's unethical fullstop as it goes against fundamental human needs in that a baby needs its mother. Before anyone says I'm homophobic, I'm definitely not. I was separated from my mother at birth and at nearly 60 years old I have not recovered from that unnatural rupture. Reid has that too but he's also separated from his culture. It's a lot for a kid even if he doesn't yet realise it.

Wait!? I donate my eggs here in Australia as I'm Childless by Choice but can help others. Do you find that unethical!?

NOT looking for an argument just would like to see your point of view.

 

[frenchiefern]

Wait!? I donate my eggs here in Australia as I'm Childless by Choice but can help others. Do you find that unethical!?

NOT looking for an argument just would like to see your point of view.

That’s amazing. Do you know who they go to?

I’m also childfree and would consider donating but that ship has probably sailed for this old duck.

 

[HitnMiss]

Wait!? I donate my eggs here in Australia as I'm Childless by Choice but can help others. Do you find that unethical!?

NOT looking for an argument just would like to see your point of view.

That's a hard one. For me it's the separation from mother and child that's the most unnatural thing that could ever happen. Donating eggs means a child is biologically yours, they inherit your DNA. So even though you haven't carried them, they're not actually related to their surrogate. They won't experience mirroring. There's a lot of issues - I'm sorry I don't have the mental capacity to say much more than that. There's a book called The Body Keeps the Score. It talks about stored trauma including preverbal trauma that babies experience.

I'm glad you don't want to argue. So often adopted people, donor conceived and those conceived through surrogacy are told that love is enough and they should be grateful. That because we were babies and don't remember we should be okay. Our lived experience is denied, so thank you for being open to listening.

 

[Broken Veneers]

Wait!? I donate my eggs here in Australia as I'm Childless by Choice but can help others. Do you find that unethical!?

NOT looking for an argument just would like to see your point of view.

You are amazing and incredibly generous to put your own body through that to help other families. Incredibly altruistic and I love you even more now

 

[emmygluewho]

That’s amazing. Do you know who they go to?

I’m also childfree and would consider donating but that ship has probably sailed for this old duck.

I do, in Australia!? Egg donors choose the recipient whereas sperm donors are picked by The Family.

By law I can only do it 5 times.

You used to be able to choose if you wanted to be identified or unidentified up until recently. Now it's changed where Donors must be unidentified.

It is against The Law to be paid for any body parts/Organs in Australia, in saying that The Donor does not pay for any Medical expenses involved.

Up until the eggs leave a Donors body The Donor can pull out. Once extracted!? The Donor has no legal right to them. Even if The Donor chooses to want Children or has difficulty later on.

Donor is told of Month, Year and Gender if Eggs become anything.

Different agencies/organization have slightly different 'rules' regarding criteria etc.


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That's a hard one. For me it's the separation from mother and child that's the most unnatural thing that could ever happen. Donating eggs means a child is biologically yours, they inherit your DNA. So even though you haven't carried them, they're not actually related to their surrogate. They won't experience mirroring. There's a lot of issues - I'm sorry I don't have the mental capacity to say much more than that. There's a book called The Body Keeps the Score. It talks about stored trauma including preverbal trauma that babies experience.

I'm glad you don't want to argue. So often adopted people, donor conceived and those conceived through surrogacy are told that love is enough and they should be grateful. That because we were babies and don't remember we should be okay. Our lived experience is denied, so thank you for being open to listening.

I totally see your point and in all honesty haven't thought too much into it. All I thought was my eggs are viable so why not donate. Apologies if that is insensitive.

I definitely acknowledge that it is my DNA but I also acknowledge and respect its The Birth Mother that carries The Baby.

Will definitely have a read of that book.

Thank You for your view point

 

[AntiPants]

I do, in Australia!? Egg donors choose the recipient whereas sperm donors are picked by The Family.

By law I can only do it 5 times.

You used to be able to choose if you wanted to be identified or unidentified up until recently. Now it's changed where Donors must be unidentified.

It is against The Law to be paid for any body parts/Organs in Australia, in saying that The Donor does not pay for any Medical expenses involved.

Up until the eggs leave a Donors body The Donor can pull out. Once extracted!? The Donor has no legal right to them. Even if The Donor chooses to want Children or has difficulty later on.

Donor is told of Month, Year and Gender if Eggs become anything.

Different agencies/organization have slightly different 'rules' regarding criteria etc.


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I totally see your point and in all honesty haven't thought too much into it. All I thought was my eggs are viable so why not donate. Apologies if that is insensitive.

I definitely acknowledge that it is my DNA but I also acknowledge and respect its The Birth Mother that carries The Baby.

Will definitely have a read of that book.

Thank You for your view point

Absolutely fascinated by this! When you say ‘unidentified’ does that mean they can’t look for you when they’re adults?

There’s some really interesting things happening with donor conceived people (especially in the USA). People are finding out as adults that they were conceived with donor sperm and are doing DNA tests and discovering tens, sometimes hundreds of siblings. There’s also at least one case of a donor conceived person finding out she has a genetic disorder, and if it’s found early enough it can’t be treated so she’s trying to locate all her siblings so they can get tested.

 

[emmygluewho]

Absolutely fascinated by this! When you say ‘unidentified’ does that mean they can’t look for you when they’re adults?

There’s some really interesting things happening with donor conceived people (especially in the USA). People are finding out as adults that they were conceived with donor sperm and are doing DNA tests and discovering tens, sometimes hundreds of siblings. There’s also at least one case of a donor conceived person finding out she has a genetic disorder, and if it’s found early enough it can’t be treated so she’s trying to locate all her siblings so they can get tested.

It just means that there is no contact with The Donor Family/Person you choose. If Eggs become!? At 18 they can 100% track you down. Which you are told.

As for siblings etc!? There is an APP for Donor Families/Person to see if other eggs have become to know if there is siblings

 

[gawjussssfabric]

I always wondered why they never went for a second child and all the bullshit about his culture and being close to it is just for instagram. They haven’t celebrated his culture once. I bet they use it to his advantage tho when putting him in Waitlists for private schools #diversity

 

[gossipygertie]

I always wondered why they never went for a second child and all the bullshit about his culture and being close to it is just for instagram. They haven’t celebrated his culture once. I bet they use it to his advantage tho when putting him in Waitlists for private schools #diversity

In Melbourne being Indian or of Indian descent is hardly a diversity point.

 

[Sashafierce]

Absolutely unethical in a third world country. I would also argue that it's unethical fullstop as it goes against fundamental human needs in that a baby needs its mother. Before anyone says I'm homophobic, I'm definitely not. I was separated from my mother at birth and at nearly 60 years old I have not recovered from that unnatural rupture. Reid has that too but he's also separated from his culture. It's a lot for a kid even if he doesn't yet realise it.

Interesting take.
I’m queer, and will be using a sperm donor to assist me in becoming a mother someday. I personally don’t think not having a mother and a father is a huge issue if there’s lots of love and support surrounding them. But to each their own, I can accept other people’s opinions.

 

[HitnMiss]

Interesting take.
I’m queer, and will be using a sperm donor to assist me in becoming a mother someday. I personally don’t think not having a mother and a father is a huge issue if there’s lots of love and support surrounding them. But to each their own, I can accept other people’s opinions.

Your genes, I'm assuming you'll carry the child, so no maternal separation at birth.

It would be great if you could engage with donor conceived people beforehand so you can learn about the potential issues.

 

[ActiveLies]

Can we go back to talking tit about the bug eyed over bearing loser and his Taylor obsessed son?

 

[emmygluewho]

Your genes, I'm assuming you'll carry the child, so no maternal separation at birth.

It would be great if you could engage with donor conceived people beforehand so you can learn about the potential issues.

Potential issues!? Do you mean Medical!? Mental Health background!? Etc.

A very in depth Medical is done

 

[Dreamer01]

Can we go back to talking tit about the bug eyed over bearing loser and his Taylor obsessed son?

So now Reid's best friend is a girl called Maddy? Do her parents have Jarrads approval as they have nice house/cars/ live in a Jarrad approved area? So superficial old bug eyes. And we get it - you are TS biggest fan (this week) as she releases her new album.

 

[emmygluewho]

Can we go back to talking tit about the bug eyed over bearing loser and his Taylor obsessed son?

I think it's great people are interested in a topic that isn't spoken about much at all. A topic that needs more awareness. I didn't know most of it until I started.

We aren't arguing, putting anyone down etc. A couple of messages back and forth is OK.