RawBeautyKristi

[Readuwroteu]

Her labor experience was duck*NG ABSURD. Her midwives should be charged with reckless behavior. She and her baby could've died. They let her labor for hours and hours when they knew she had muconium in her amniotic fluid, and then she drove 45 minutes to a hospital where there would be more midwives? It's a miracle that that birth didn't end in tragedy.

I had a totally unexpected sudden water break at 33 weeks. I really, desperately wanted a lovely water birth with my midwives. But when I realized that I wasn't going to get that, I happily did whatever it took to get my baby out safely. I don't really judge Kristi for this, though. I think her midwives were idiots.

Honestly I hesitate to blame the midwives in her situation. With the way she was about her gestational diabetes, I can fully see her strong-arming them into letting her go on longer because she thinks she knows better because she was a doula. I'd bet they could only get her to agree to go to the hospital once they told her about the midwife led one 45 minutes away.

Just after my own birth experience that was very similar to hers (that resulted in csection after 24 hours for the safety of my baby) I find it VERY hard to believe, with as many people she came into contact with during that 45 hours, that not a single person suggested more intervention measures. It's more believable to me that they offered, she declined because she was still holding on to this hippie midwife natural birth fantasy, and they can't force you into procedures no matter how stupid your decisions are.

 

[liquidlinernotes]

Kristi fills me with rage! I had a baby months before her. Like millions of moms I had to go back to work after 8 weeks. Having a baby is hard even if you get to stay home. Even if you're like Kristi and never have to worry about money. But good god, she has no idea what life is like for most people. She spent months complaining about sleep deprivation without realizing that the rest of us are just as tired and have jobs to go to. She insists that her baby is 'more clingy/fussy' than most babies. How does she know? Newborns like to be held an wake up when you put them down. That's universal. I think she convinces herself that her son is needy to tell herself that being a mom is harder for her than it is for other people. She has the need to feel like a victim. The wallpaper thing is ridiculous.
That screen shot sums Kristi up. For someone who has such a cushy life she sure is miserable. She should be grateful that she has the money to pay for the mouth guard. I'm sure a lot of people who need them can't afford them.

Yeah, her argument that Alder is somehow the most high-maintenance baby in the world is super eye-rolly for me. Her son takes naps in his bassinet! My baby was born a couple of days after hers' and until literally last week would not nap at all unless she was lying on top of me or her dad. She screams if we put her down. I love her with my whole heart and just accept that she's a baby and this is what she needs right now. But if Kristi's like "Oh he only sleeps half an hour in his bassinet" I want to scream. I'd love to have half an hour free every couple of hours.

ETA -- To clarify, my point is that my baby is higher-maintenance than Kristi's, but I still don't see her as a high-maintenance baby. She's a baby. She wants to be held and cuddled.

And it's not a competition, but it does seem like she spent so long in the infertility space but didn't actually chat with anyone who'd had a baby before hers' was born. By her own admission she only looked at "positive" birth stories, so I can imagine she also only looked at fake IG "positive" baby imagery. It's all terracotta onesies and Bibs pacifiers and smiling beautifully made up moms because they all have nannies and huge amounts of disposable income, girl.

Honestly I hesitate to blame the midwives in her situation. With the way she was about her gestational diabetes, I can fully see her strong-arming them into letting her go on longer because she thinks she knows better because she was a doula. I'd bet they could only get her to agree to go to the hospital once they told her about the midwife led one 45 minutes away.

Just after my own birth experience that was very similar to hers (that resulted in csection after 24 hours for the safety of my baby) I find it VERY hard to believe, with as many people she came into contact with during that 45 hours, that not a single person suggested more intervention measures. It's more believable to me that they offered, she declined because she was still holding on to this hippie midwife natural birth fantasy, and they can't force you into procedures no matter how stupid your decisions are.

The thing that was so weird to me was that she self-diagnosed with GD, and then proceeded to not actually cut out simple carbs. I could not understand any part of that.

I can see what you mean about the midwives, but I still put the responsibility on them. My midwives were totally about "patient-led" care, but when it was clear something was wrong they very gently but firmly were like, "Sorry, babe. The health of mom and baby comes before a birth plan right now."

They definitely still needed my consent, but I don't know. I feel like I've heard midwifery care in the US is far less regulated than it is in other countries, so I could see her seeking out the crunchiest one she could.

What was weird to me was her midwife group saying they wouldn't do home births because of Covid. Here in Vancouver my midwives said that Covid had caused the number of home births at their practice to skyrocket.

 

[Readuwroteu]

Yeah, her argument that Alder is somehow the most high-maintenance baby in the world is super eye-rolly for me. Her son takes naps in his bassinet! My baby was born a couple of days after hers' and until literally last week would not nap at all unless she was lying on top of me or her dad. She screams if we put her down. I love her with my whole heart and just accept that she's a baby and this is what she needs right now. But if Kristi's like "Oh he only sleeps half an hour in his bassinet" I want to scream. I'd love to have half an hour free every couple of hours.

ETA -- To clarify, my point is that my baby is higher-maintenance than Kristi's, but I still don't see her as a high-maintenance baby. She's a baby. She wants to be held and cuddled.

And it's not a competition, but it does seem like she spent so long in the infertility space but didn't actually chat with anyone who'd had a baby before hers' was born. By her own admission she only looked at "positive" birth stories, so I can imagine she also only looked at fake IG "positive" baby imagery. It's all terracotta onesies and Bibs pacifiers and smiling beautifully made up moms because they all have nannies and huge amounts of disposable income, girl.



The thing that was so weird to me was that she self-diagnosed with GD, and then proceeded to not actually cut out simple carbs. I could not understand any part of that.

I can see what you mean about the midwives, but I still put the responsibility on them. My midwives were totally about "patient-led" care, but when it was clear something was wrong they very gently but firmly were like, "Sorry, babe. The health of mom and baby comes before a birth plan right now."

They definitely still needed my consent, but I don't know. I feel like I've heard midwifery care in the US is far less regulated than it is in other countries, so I could see her seeking out the crunchiest one she could.

What was weird to me was her midwife group saying they wouldn't do home births because of Covid. Here in Vancouver my midwives said that Covid had caused the number of home births at their practice to skyrocket.

Midwifery in WA (where Kristi lives) is fairly regulated, as they require licenses, yearly renewal, and 30 hours of continued education every 3 years. And the midwives at the hospital she was directed to would have been completely different midwives, and would have been certified nurse midwives. But yeah, that definitely does vary state by state. And home births were on the rise here too, so it was probably just the comfort level of the midwives she chose not allowing home birth during Covid than anything else.

I guess we just view things differently. The fact they wouldn't do a home birth during Covid and directed her to a hospital leads me to believe they weren't all that crunchy granola? Plus combining that with the fact that she dealt with one set of midwives at the birth center, and another at the hospital just again makes me think someone was likely advising some kind of intervention.

I also gave birth in a hospital that had a midwife led unit that was like what you described (I wasn't trying for natural birth, it just happens that the hospital closest to my house is midwife led labor and delivery) and so I ended up with a csection because it was them saying "hey, this isn't working, we know it's not what you wanted but for the safety of your baby we need to get her out." But that's also me agreeing to it because I wasnt tied to a fantasy birth story like Kristi obviously was. I have no idea how they would have reacted if I would have said no, I want to keep going, because again, they can't force you into a procedure even if you make bad choices.

Just her behavior throughout her pregnancy, the way her birth story was presented, and her behavior after he was born, in my eyes there's no question she's the one at fault for her son's insane birth. She, in every situation, prioritizes her wants and needs above everyone and everything.

 

[liquidlinernotes]

Midwifery in WA (where Kristi lives) is fairly regulated, as they require licenses, yearly renewal, and 30 hours of continued education every 3 years. And the midwives at the hospital she was directed to would have been completely different midwives, and would have been certified nurse midwives. But yeah, that definitely does vary state by state. And home births were on the rise here too, so it was probably just the comfort level of the midwives she chose not allowing home birth during Covid than anything else.

I guess we just view things differently. The fact they wouldn't do a home birth during Covid and directed her to a hospital leads me to believe they weren't all that crunchy granola? Plus combining that with the fact that she dealt with one set of midwives at the birth center, and another at the hospital just again makes me think someone was likely advising some kind of intervention.

I also gave birth in a hospital that had a midwife led unit that was like what you described (I wasn't trying for natural birth, it just happens that the hospital closest to my house is midwife led labor and delivery) and so I ended up with a csection because it was them saying "hey, this isn't working, we know it's not what you wanted but for the safety of your baby we need to get her out." But that's also me agreeing to it because I wasnt tied to a fantasy birth story like Kristi obviously was. I have no idea how they would have reacted if I would have said no, I want to keep going, because again, they can't force you into a procedure even if you make bad choices.

Just her behavior throughout her pregnancy, the way her birth story was presented, and her behavior after he was born, in my eyes there's no question she's the one at fault for her son's insane birth. She, in every situation, prioritizes her wants and needs above everyone and everything.

Yeah, I think that's fair. Looking back, my midwives were amazing and were waiting for consent but I also kept saying that what mattered to me was my baby's health above all else.

Like I asked them not to weigh me because I have an ED and found it triggering. And they said, "We can do that. If it seems like you're suddenly swelling up, we probably will need to weigh you, though, to see if it's a warning sign for pre-eclampsia, but we can work out a way for you not to see it so it's not triggering" and I agreed.

I guess in the end she's definitely the architect of her own misery in most scenarios, so it makes sense that it would be the case here, too.

I'm still most mad about her claiming to be absolutely at her wit's end from stress and depression and refusing SSRIs. I'm still worried she's not vaccinating that baby, tbh.

And the vinyl wallpaper was bleeping bizarre.

Adding: new video today, and I feel like another weird topic is her claiming that she's only comfortable in casual/minimal makeup and clothes post-baby as though it's some kind of Earth mother thing. And like... Kristi, is it maybe because there's a pandemic, you barely see anyone, and you moved out to the woods?

I feel like she swings wildly from "motherhood is hell and nobody warns you" to "motherhood is endless bliss and I am connected to the rivers, lakes, streams, trees and eagles in a way I never was before amen namaste."

 

[anonymousgossip]

I cannot get over when she complained about only seeing smiling cooing babies with birds chirping in the background on social media... and the shock that her real life wasn't turning out like that?? Like who on Earth thinks that's a realistic picture of early motherhood, even people without children (me!) know those posts are exaggerated or straight up lies.

And weeks later... she posts her own Instagrams of smiling baby, walks outside, with gentle music in the background! SMH

 

[Lemonz]

I cannot get over when she complained about only seeing smiling cooing babies with birds chirping in the background on social media... and the shock that her real life wasn't turning out like that?? Like who on Earth thinks that's a realistic picture of early motherhood, even people without children (me!) know those posts are exaggerated or straight up lies.

And weeks later... she posts her own Instagrams of smiling baby, walks outside, with gentle music in the background! SMH

Honestly she's just LYING at this point, everyone on the internet shows 'real life with babies' plus her sister has a child plus she's on youtube that has soooo much baby content plus she was a friggin doula. WHY LIE.

 

[Readuwroteu]

Honestly she's just LYING at this point, everyone on the internet shows 'real life with babies' plus her sister has a child plus she's on youtube that has soooo much baby content plus she was a friggin doula. WHY LIE.

It's probably the same as her birth, she only sought out positive stuff because that's what she wanted to post herself, and then was shocked when it wasn't all sunshine and roses all the time, so that means no one warned her and her postpartum experience was the worst anyone could have ever experienced.

 

[xoxo_a]

Honestly she's just LYING at this point, everyone on the internet shows 'real life with babies' plus her sister has a child plus she's on youtube that has soooo much baby content plus she was a friggin doula. WHY LIE.

I was really shocked when she said she was going on about this! It’s not that the internet lied to her - very simply, she wasn’t even noticing it. She was ignoring it. I’m a teenager, I don’t have children, but I’ve been around enough to know an accurate representation of raising a baby. She was willfully blind.

 

[liquidlinernotes]

I will say: my baby came like two days after Kristi's, I think. I was fully prepped for the postpartum period and it still kicked my ass. It was HARD, regardless of the pandemic (since no one leaves their house for a month afterwards anyway).

The vibe I get from Kristi is that she went into it thinking she would #GirlBoss the experience, and then got angry and frustrated when it was just as hard for her as it is for everyone else.

The line that really annoyed me was when she was mocking the "But first, coffee" posts. Oh so you did see them? You did see the posts about mainlining caffeine because of exhaustion? And you just didn't get it?

I don't know. She's a deeply confusing person. I also worry that she doesn't have any other mom friends or people who've had babies in her life. Even with Covid, there were ways to connect with people online so the experience wasn't as lonely. But then she couldn't have a personal pity party.

 

[Mia75]

I can’t cope with her mentioning she’s a mum in every make up video. Driving me mad.

I watch another girl called Shelbey Wilson’s videos, who had a baby around the same time. Know how many times she mentioned her baby in her last make up video? None! Lol

 

[Future Nostalgia]

She's honestly mentally unstable. How can you not trust your own husband of what like 10 years to be alone with your own baby?

The vinyl wallpaper tit? Even BGC on reddit sucks up her ass but 70% of comments were like what the actual duck was that instagram story of hers. Bloody bizarre. She's crying cuz she put up that wallpaper and ended up tearing it down and cries cuz she lost time spent with her son? That's so bloody weird to me. That's just too much. And this is coming from someone with a 9 week old.. you best believe some nights when my partner gets home from work I flee to the supermarket for half an hour of alone time even if its just me buying bog roll..

 

[scparis89]

She would be an absolutely exhausting person to be around. I bet she sucks the life out of every interaction she's in. Totally self-centred and a major attention-seeker.

 

[Readuwroteu]

Honestly that's probably why she doesn't seem to have many friends... even in her pregnancy announcement video it was family, business related people, and what like 2 people she met through YouTube? If this is how she behaves in videos I can't imagine what she's like IRL when she can't edit things out and ignore what she doesn't like.

 

[liquidlinernotes]

I can’t cope with her mentioning she’s a mum in every make up video. Driving me mad.

I watch another girl called Shelbey Wilson’s videos, who had a baby around the same time. Know how many times she mentioned her baby in her last make up video? None! Lol

I get it, though. She got a HUGE response from her pregnancy videos, and frankly it probably makes more business sense for her to move into being a mommy vlogger (even if she doesn't show her kid). Plus she's in the thick of it where this is all she can focus on because she doesn't have help.

But my issue, as always, is the constant catastrophizing. Her kid is going to have a hard time with a mom who's always melting down.

New Q&A video. Kristi says she won't send Alder to daycare because she and Zach work from home so they don't need to.

I... okay. It kind of sounds like she plans to hire a nanny and then lie about it, tbh.

 

[thewambulancearrived]

the concerns I have (there’s a list) but she mentioned in her Q and A that she only spends time with Zach and the baby. This child isn’t going to have any social skills because he won’t be around other people or kids. They live in the middle of nowhere, they don’t have any friends and they aren’t planning on using a daycare - where is this child going to be able to socialise and develop social skills? School??

 

[xoxo_a]

She seems to think that something bad will happen if she leaves her child for even a second, which I don’t think it’s healthy. Everyone needs a break once in a while.

 

[missgarcy]

Watching her q&a, she cries everyday because her child is growing, I don't think that's very healthy...
Also, she mentions having a second child a lot and she says for now she doesn't want to because post-partum is really hard. I don't want to sound mean but, having this baby was practically a miracle, like isn't she still infertile? What makes her think that she could have a second child easily?

 

[liquidlinernotes]

the concerns I have (there’s a list) but she mentioned in her Q and A that she only spends time with Zach and the baby. This child isn’t going to have any social skills because he won’t be around other people or kids. They live in the middle of nowhere, they don’t have any friends and they aren’t planning on using a daycare - where is this child going to be able to socialise and develop social skills? School??

In fairness, while I agree that she's being dramatic, there is a pandemic on. Many families don't have a choice, and babies don't have as much protection from Covid as young kids do. I'm more worried about her saying she won't put him in daycare post-pandemic. Some stay at home moms will often enrol their kids in a part-time program so they do have that socialization. But Kristi not seeing many people right now isn't a huge surprise. And she hasn't posted anything about getting vaccinated, which is a little concerning.

Watching her q&a, she cries everyday because her child is growing, I don't think that's very healthy...
Also, she mentions having a second child a lot and she says for now she doesn't want to because post-partum is really hard. I don't want to sound mean but, having this baby was practically a miracle, like isn't she still infertile? What makes her think that she could have a second child easily?

There are a lot of anecdotal stories about people who struggled for baby #1 and then just had #2 easily, so she might be assuming the same will happen to her, but it does seem like her infertility might have been massively over-exaggeratred, like everything else with her.

Crying because her baby is growing is definitely odd, given that she seemed to hate the newborn period so much.

I'm very worried for whoever Alder tries to date/marry. She's coming off as a "no one compares to Mommy" kind of mom.

 

[Qwerty333]

I'm worried for her kid in general. He's kind of screwed having her as his mom.

 

[Readuwroteu]

I'm very worried for whoever Alder tries to date/marry. She's coming off as a "no one compares to Mommy" kind of mom.

If Reddit is still a thing when he grows up, she will definitely be "JustNoMIL" material. Be one of those mothers who shows up to the ceremony also in a wedding dress.