Another bloody great thread title from
@Lucyinthesky88 
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele Hambleton is a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public
- of course coming back from Rome the gruesome twosome managed to be in the wrong terminal
unfortunately Italy didn't want them any more than England does, and they managed to get back in order to give Bratsy and Lula their gifts of a new pair of trainers each. Neither of them said thank you until they'd tried them on and decided whether they liked them
- following the stories from Rome and grid post of Rumblestrip wearing her £1000 Gucci loafers, she was straight back on the beg for food to sell on in the pantry.
- finally, the podcast guest we've all been waiting for. As hotly anticipated as Martin Bashir and Princess Di, Racquetball has finally done an interview with Linda (the cleaner and general dogs body). Of course Ratchet couldn't wait to muscle in and shit all over everything- she referred to Linda's dad's death by suicide as "gross", and when Linda talked about her mum having lost two babies who were both boys, and said "I should have had two brothers, which would have come in handy", Rabies agreed, saying "yeah, especially when I was living with you as a teenager". The bare faced cheek of taking the story of how a woman she had never met had tragically lost 2 babies, years before Rancid was born, and inserting herself into it plumbed new depths of Rambo's sense of self importance.
- Rashflaps was packing for the trip to Eurocamp in France, which of course included loads of new clothes for Wilbert.
- over on PatreCON she was asked about her "journalling", so she shared some screenshota of notes she'd made. Basically showing herself being too involved with Seb and Lula's relationships (including showing a message supposedly from Lula's ex, where he's telling her how amazing she is and how grateful he is for everything she's done for him etc etc).
- and the Clampitts are off to France! But only taking Wilbur, Isaac, and Mannah's oldest. Of course Ratfuck splashed the cash for two cabins on the ferry, one in case Wilberforce needed somewhere to calm down, and the other for the older boys so they could have their own space. Sadly they're staying in a teeny cabin thing, and Toxic Theresa was moaning that there's no oven, toaster or kettle, and the washing up sponge provided was very low quality, so it's a good job they brought their own.
- a grid post of things that never happened detailed a foreign lady apparently telling them they had to leave a restaurant because Wilbert was being noisy, and playing with his dinosaurs in the plants. Just to nail home how awful and rude the lady was, Ratchet claimed that the woman and her companion had been "chain smoking throughout the entire meal", forgetting to check whether smoking is allowed inside in France (it isn't).
- this was swiftly followed by another grid post, this time of Leather Faced Leonard apparently knowing exactly how to calm Wibble when he's "dysregulating" (aka having a usual little kid tantrum).
- Wilby played with dinosaurs at their shed
- Wilby played with dinosaurs in a restaurant
- in case nobody has ever seen inside a supermarket before, Rack decided to invite her followers to "come food shopping with us". Wilby was bought pretty much anything he even looked at, including ice cream, sweets, a chocolate lolly and (of course) a dinosaur. For some reason Ratchet was amazed at the cereal, yoghurt and fruit on offer.
- back at the campsite, Ratface treated her followers to a quick video around the laundry room (oh look, there's washers and dryers, and some ironing boards).
- Rhubarb is obviously hating her life and her holiday to France, because she showed endless videos of how shit everything is. They tried to take Isaac and Alfie go karting, but the place was closed. Wilby said he hates her because of her arms, and later told both parents that they're "old and ugly" while throwing some stickers he'd been bought on the floor. Basically he was mean, rude and bad mannered, showing how badly he has been parented. Rambo also made out that some horrible French bloke had had a go at them for parking in a disabled bay even though they have a blue badge for Wilbert.
- Sloshy complained about Isaac using his phone and how he's "proud" to be from a generation that grew up without them. Conveniently forgetting that if his wife wasn't permanently attached to her multiple phones, he would still be having to work a real job, having the piss taken out of him by his colleagues (PC Pretty Boy), and he wouldn't be driving his Volvo, or campervan, and he wouldn't be walking around in head to foot designer gear and sporting a five grand watch
- a tattler messaged Rawhide, pointing out that regardless of whether he's autistic, the behaviour from Wilbur is unacceptable, and asking where he had learnt the language he uses. Despite being off having a *cough* wonderful holiday, Ratchet took time out of the busy schedule of visiting the supermarket and making up stories about people being awful to her to reply. Apparently one in five of EVERY CHILD IN RECEPTION have been subject to abuse, so have spent their lives seeing and hearing terrible things. Funny how Wilberforce managed to learn "cuntasaurus" before he was even at school with all these poor children. She also stated that some autistic people are "always violent and aggressive" while in public. When questioned about whether the constant buying of toys was a suitable way to deal with him, Rambo said that he can't cope with receiving a lot of gifts for his birthday and Christmas, so he gets less then and more throughout the year instead. Sure, Jan.
- Wilbert went to the bar to ask for some more Pringles, and was told to wait his turn by the barman. Amazingly, this didn't result in the horrific screaming and neck-slashing we've been led to believe results from Wilbert not getting exactly what he wants when he wants it. Almost as if his terrible autistic meltdowns are mostly made up for attention...
- meanwhile, back at the Snatchwork mansion, Lula (who's too anxious to go to school and will be attending a £7,500 per year online school instead) managed to invite a load of girls round for a party.
- back home, off round to Raffy's house. Wilbert "hates" the Red Arrows so didn't want anyone else to watch them, clawing and scratching at Joyce's leathery old chops.
- on the PatreCON - Bratsy apparently brought a couple of male friends home. Ratchet and Sloshy had no idea, so there were two strange men wandering around the house and one walked in on Ratchet while she was "only wearing her period pants". Lush bubs, a tenner says they won't be back
- Rabies picked a bit at random to read out from her book, and what do you know, it was a letter to herself when she was 15". Because of course that's the section, out of the whole essay of bullshit you managed to select at random, we believe you hun. She's now moved on to slagging off her stepmum, mentioned bouncing around foster homes until she happened upon Linda (who she loves endlessly and forever), then she seamlessly moves on to shoving drugs into her vagina to take them on trains. Because everyone knows you get searched on trains
- back on PatreCON, she said that the previous night on a live someone had asked her about Palestine, which ended with them messaging her to tell her they're unsubscribing. But she doesn't care, it's fine, if anyone doesn't like her they're free to leave at any time etc etc. The lady doth protest too much
- Tattlers could be forgiven for thinking that the legend who threw a milkshake over N*gel F*rage was wearing a WEBL tracksuit, however on closer inspection it said AYBL across the front. Looks like Ratchet has yet again ripped off someone else's design (Ed Hardy t-shirt, anyone?).
- a few days into Lula's home schooling, and she's sitting in a cafe eating cake, going horse riding, and getting ready to speak on Racket's podcast. Don't forget, she'll be doing her GCSEs in exactly a year's time.
- a Q&A revealed that Lula is home schooling because school was "unsafe", due to horrendous conditions like the food being cold, and her struggling in Maths but not wanting to change classes because none of her friends are in the other one and it smells. In other words, the usual teenage moans about school.
- there's new WEBL tat dropping - a bubblegum pink, embossed sweater. Lush.
- Rancid and notaPC Pete headed off to a #gifted #prstay in a fancy tent on a farm, with their new besties Lizzy and Austin. But she was very clear to point out that even though it was #gifted it was so lush that they've booked to go back and PAID FULL PRICE. Whatever, Trevor.
- Bratsy missed a flight home but luckily she managed to get another for 4x the price (Ratchet thinks it's a flex that your kid is so disorganised and gives so few shits about wasting money)
- the gruesome twosome went out for a morning run together at 7.15, begging the question of who was getting the violent, severely autistic 4 year old ready for school. Probably Lula now that she's "home schooling" (which also seems to include horse riding)
- desperately trying to drum up support for her new book of bullshit, Rabies is offering a prize draw for people who pre order, as well as pushing her crappy tour. Yet again, she's organising it all herself, and charging the huns a fortune for the privilege of being in the room with her for a couple of hours. She's also very conveniently arranged it for the start of the summer holidays, meaning she'll be "working" instead of spending time with the kids. Again.
- Raahflaps decided to read another section of her book out, and just so happened to land on a bit where she talks about a song that her and Bratsy used to sing about Waynbo, but now it's a happy song blah blah blah. And basically, she wants a song that reminded her of her (apparently abusive and violent) ex at her funeral.
anyway, in the unlikely event that Ratchet and crew manage to be interesting enough to fill the thread before I'm back, I'd be grateful if someone could pick up the mantle of starting a new one. 
Glasses to the left of me, nose off to the right
