New thread title thanks to
@Queeniebee , I edited the name as it didn't sit right with me having her name in the title.
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele Hambleton is a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- Ratface shared a bit of a Q&A from her Patreon, that Edie had answered. A question of "what would you do if you had a big win on the lottery" got E's reply of "mum would get us a nice house and loads of nice things". Rabies said "what about giving it to other people", and Edie said "yeah, and that". Raise them kind, eh? She was asked when Bratsy was coming home, Edie didn't know that she's coming back next week.
- Racquetball shared a post from Wilbert's pre school, clearly showing the name of where he goes. But she can't show where the kids go to school because otherwise the chrolls start contacting them with fake concerns
- Rabies "did the big kids' school run", and showed Edie being handed a plate of pancakes in the car. Two adults with no job between them, and they can't get organised to have breakfast at home
Joyce was left to wrangle the violent, level 3 autistic child by himself, and called to say that Wilbert wouldn't let him do his hair, so she told him to just take his brush and hairbands and let the teacher do it. Because all teachers have time in their day to be doing the jobs the parents should do at home. Also, Wibble apparently loves routine, isn't doing his hair part of his usual morning routine before school?
- the front of the house looks like a scrap heap, with the dismantled conservatory all piled up (remember it's a shared drive, bet the neighbours love that). I'm sure Evri Kevri will be along soon to take it all to the tip for them.
- Rancho got a parking ticket (luckily the PatreCON funds will cover that nicely) and headed to IKEA with Lula.
- Wilbert had his hair put into bunches at school, so they've had to recreate it at home. Out driving in the van, he talked about dinosaurs and told Sloshy that fossils are "bones" and "skeletons", despite being non verbal and not understanding anything at all
- more from the PatreCON Q&A including "how to be open with your kids from a young age", led to Rabies telling everyone that Seb looks after his girlfriend when she has her period. The poor kid is 17 Ratchet, she probably doesn't want a bunch of strangers knowing anything about her menstral cycle. She then went on about Edie having "unsafe adults" in her life, clearly alluding to her dad and his family. People who don't like you for very valid reasons aren't automatically "unsafe" Raq, stop using terminology to paint them in a bad light to your huns.
- on the reel about the conservatory being ripped out, someone asked where the sofa from the second lounge had gone (the one that was a freebie for an #ad). BV Babs replied that she'd "given it to someone who's wanker of a husband stripped the house when he left". Why not just say it went to someone who needed it more than her?
- they're off again in the Cuntmobile Camper this weekend, but leaving Wobble at home and just taking Seb and his girlfriend. The gf (Katie) seems to be Rancid's new little favourite, to throw money at and lovebomb until she becomes toxic. Why two 17 year olds would want to be sharing a van with Pervy Pete (who, let's not forget, entered Seb's room without knocking not long ago and saw them both naked) and Tits Out Tina is beyond me
how many hilarious "whoops you caught me with my boobs out again" moments will there be
Wilberforce isn't coming, so they can enjoy getting pissed and stoned in peace. So the child who can't cope without routine is being left without his parents in a house that has building work going on. Sounds sensible. Meanwhile, it was discovered by Tattlers that Katie's dad has a history of unsavoury behaviour, and has even served time for it
Slosh and Wrecks better not sling her on the toxic pile too quickly!
- the scammy pantry set up has apparently had a visit from Environmental Health, and the person said it was the best, lushest set up they'd ever seen (of course).
- time for a ramble in the sex loft. They've recorded a podcast for PatreCON with questions from the huns, including "what's your favourite sex toy"
they were due to go away in the camper van, but Joyce's mental health "isn't doing too well" because of the work in the house (Ratchet sniggered at this point, because mental health is SO FUNNY) so they're going in the morning instead. Wilby's anxiety is "through the roof" but he's coping well.
- the gruesome twosome set off to St Ives with Seb and his girlfriend, no doubt Racket was snorting all the way while pawing at Sloshy's hand while he was driving.
- they went out for a nice 3 course meal, with Seb having a beer.
- back at the Patchwork Palace, employee Janey was looking after Wilbert (wonder whether it was part of her usual duties, or if she was paid overtime).
- back at the scampervan after a birthday meal, Joyce was clearly pissed and dancing like a prick, while Seb and his girlfriend were drinking beer (which Ratfink later stated on PatreCON was "ginger beer in Corona bottles". Of course it was hun, because we'd all go to the effort of emptying out a beer bottle to fill it up with ginger beer just to pretend we weren't giving alcohol to 17 year olds
- Bucket Hat Brian was clearly hating spending time with Seb
- Madchester Malcolm decided to add Katie to the family group chat, and said that hopefully Seb would move in with her soon.
- meanwhile, Rabies shared a photo of Wilbert and said that he gets "anxiety relief" from carrying a dinosaur around (or he's just doing what most toddlers do
)
- in another snap from home, Wilbert was lying on the sofa with an iPad and full nappy, by himself.
- Joyce told Seb that he's not taking him camping again, yet again proving how much he hates his kids.
- finally back at the hamster cage house, Wilberforce was asleep on the sofa, so both parents were all over him, pretending to be caring and attentive, like they hadn't just ditched him with an employee to go and get pissed with teenagers.
- later, on PatreCON, they both mocked Katie for spending some of her birthday money on ordering a Chinese for Seb, saying "he doesn't deserve it". Just remember that Bratsy has been farting about in a bikini on the other side of the world for months, all paid for by mummy, but Seb doesn't deserve a Chinese when he's been at work. They couldn't be arsed to get out of bed to go down and collect the food, and Seb didn't see it, so it was left on the doorstep all night and then no doubt fired straight into the bin in the morning. Don't forget guys, the community pantry to avoid food waste while helping those in need will be open Monday and Tuesday, 10 till 2.
- PA Jo is on holiday, and her daughter (around Edie's age) is apparently reading Ratchet's books. Not really the target audience, is she?
- Remember how Racket cried over how Wilbert "doesn't understand who his family is"? Despite that, he knows Tony the builder and goes to find him each day to tell him "I'm here".
- Hair Bow Harriet was down at the packing office to paw through some goods, then she announced the winner of the latest draw (after selling just over 2000 tickets). She then launched the next prize draw - no hotel stay this time, just cold hard cash, plus some of her unwanted #ad products.
- apparently eating a bowl of pasta covered in cheese is "a new low" - I bet for some people that would be an absolute luxury, especially with a branded can of Coke on the side
- Tony the builder brought Wilbert a couple of dinosaur toys, Ratchet said "what do you say Wilby, say thank you", which he completely ignored.
- despite level 3 autistic Wobbly having no understanding of anything, and not knowing who or what his family is, he knew exactly who Racket meant when she asked him if he missed Bratsy.
- apparently Thrushy Thelma has an idea for her next book
which apparently the literary agent loves, yet another self published load of nonsense probably. What's the betting it will be all about raising teenagers, and will end up being a rehash of her previous books (her teenage years, let down by every single adult that she came into contact with etc) with another chance to stick the knife into Sloshy's ex wife?
- Sell Out Sandra showed a load of messages she'd received after doing some stories on PatreCON about how difficult it is to raise teenagers
our spies told us that she'd told Seb he's like the men they talk to the the women about in the centres, because he argues but then creeps around when he wants money or affection - and apparently she's told him this to his face. If he's acting like an arse, I would say it's down to the upbringing he's had, and the relationship dynamics he lives in every day in that house
him and Lula have swapped rooms (because having a vulnerable 14 year old girl in the room that has an external door sounds like a GREAT move), and he'd had all his friends up there "doing things they shouldn't" (probably smoking weed), and she doesn't want it in her house, so threatened to kick him out. In regards to Lula, they usually take phones at night (yeah, right), but forgot to take Lula's and Joyce found her on it so took it away. Ratchet looked and found that she'd also been "doing things she shouldn't", it looks like she's back either ex, and it was hinted (but not explicit said) that she's sexually active. Mum of the Year tried to talk to Lula, but she refused, went to bed and turned her back on her. Probably because she knows anything she tells her mum in confidence will end up being broadcast to thousands of followers for entertainment.
- also on the Patreon, Rabble said that in the last 2 months she's had to transfer £8k of her PatreCON money into Snatchwork because it's running at a loss and she needed to pay wages and bills. Well done for finally admitting that the 'rachisonpatreon' account is going straight into your pocket, not sure so many would have signed up if they'd known that in the first place.
- Spendy Sandy apparently "needs" £3k for a computer program, but Jo says no, despite Ratchet's insistence that they've given away 500 jumpers since December
- a Tattler drove past the tat shop and reported back that it has a "to rent" sign in the window.
- Rabies has of course joined Threads, yet another platform where she can whinge about being trolled endlessly
- up in the loft for a ramble - starting off by belittling Sloshy for being negative because he's upset about the mess from building work (she called him a mood hoover).
- boo boo, they've had a hard week with Lula and Seb, Isaac's been lush because his phone was taken away 6 weeks ago so he's made "No bad decisions" - that they know about from his phone. Anyway, he's managing to get his hands on vapes and weed, so how do they know he hasn't got a secret phone stashed away?
- she's going to start a weekly live on the PatreCON about managing teenagers - anyone paying money for her sage advice of "just ignore it all and leave them to it, then cry to your phone about what they're up to" needs to rethink their priorities
- Wilbert's had transition sessions for his new school, with Racket making out like it's all been done especially for him because he's level 3 autistic. He's not special babe, kids up and down the country at every single school have been doing it this week
- later, she shared a clearly fake message from a fake social worker who's apparently on the beg for birthday gifts for a child who has cancer. Just in time for Slosh and Wilby's birthdays coming up
of course the huns came through, and Ratchet took the opportunity to ask for even more, including Costa and Vue vouchers, because that's what every kid with cancer needs
- off camping for the weekend again, with only Edie and Wilbur. Yep, the teenagers are running riot, so they'll ignore it and leave them home unsupervised while they're off drinking fizzy cat's piss at a campsite (or is it sparkling apple juice that Raq decanted into a prosecco bottle?). Edie was mincing around in a tight minidress, perfect camping attire
of course they're not camping alone, they've managed to con another family along to ease the tension between the happy family. Wilberforce needs a pat on the back for trying new foods after seeing his friend eat things, like every other kid his age
it rained (not like it's been forecast all week or anything), and Wilby "couldn't cope" with the can getting wet, AKA he was looking at the rain on the van and pointing at it. Wilbert wailed about his friend going home, and how he's only got one week left at pre school. But he doesn't understand anything ever
instead of comforting him, his rancid old mum just filmed him.
- Racket's texting Seb's girlfriend, saying "love you". Leave the fucking kid alone Rayban, try having a normal, appropriate relationship with her.
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June 2022:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
February - 1 night in London after dropping Betsy at the airport
March - 1 night in Birmingham (book signings)
May - 2 nights at Herpes Lodge
June - 2 nights in London (Label Lady book launch and SEN protest)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Yes talk about the fact you had body issues from “abuse” and how you felt that’s great for awareness but these two are are doing it all wrong 
They definitely get a kick out of sharing what they get up to. They should just set up an Only Fans already 
