New thread title thanks to
@bracrumbs 
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele Hambleton is a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- Bratsy's mates that she was travelling with have gone home (you know, the ones that she'd never met and who "scooped her up and became her family", even though they all live in South Devon and one of them was her exes cousin?), so now she's sad and lonely and looking for friends to travel around Thailand with. So of course Racket, with all her lush followers, asked if anyone is over there at the moment
I know BeKind is an adult, but she's on her own in a foreign country, and her thick as shit mum is begging strangers to go and find her
- there's a new range of Snatchwork t-shirts, including a redesigned "delightfully broken" one. Give it up Rabies, it's not appropriate to be putting on a t-shirt. The shirts range from £26 to £34 EACH, and go from size XS which is a UK 6, to 5XL which is a UK size 22 (with a Large being a UK size 12).
- Rhapsody creamed her knickers over the Red Arrows being over the murder mansion for the local air show. Yawn.
- there was a massive pity party for one, as BV Babs moaned and whined about how hard raising teenagers is. Lula and Isaac are doing all the things Bratsy and Seb did, but "years earlier", it's really lonely, so hard for poor little Ratchet with the turned in toes etc etc etc. She secretly filmed Sloshy giving her a pep talk about Bratsy crying down the phone because she's on her own now. Isaac's not allowed cash when he goes out (obviously buying weed or something), and Sloshy said "yeah he's doing it a year earlier than Seb, but he might stop a year earlier than Seb as well". If it is weed, he is the same age now as Seb was when he started smoking it, and S hasn't stopped yet
Five Grand Watch Freddy said they need to be "more intrusive, checking his phone", but Needy Nora doesn't want to do that, because she doesn't want the kids to hate her
then it was back to Bratsy, with Rambo having to shoehorn in that "when I was her age I'd been living on my own for two years" (whether that was the piss soaked, needle filled bedsit, or the one that all the local lads hung around in to do drugs, or when she nursed her gran to death is unclear). For extra sympathy, she shared a screenshot of BeKind crying on Facetime.
- 9 year old Edie is off to school with a face full of fake tan and lip gloss, while swearing and promising that she hasn't used fake tan. The lies fall out of her mouth as easily as her mother. The reel of her her insisting that she hadn't used fake tan later had a comment from Janey saying she'd wondered where her tinted moisturiser had gone while she was "house sitting" last week (but Linda found the bottle still in Edie's bedroom). Later Edie insisted that she didn't know it was tinted - despite it being clearly labelled on the bottle, and she can definitely read
- Rumblestrip did a load of rambling about the Patreon, what it is and what you get (sweet fuck all, really), but didn't mention exactly where the money is going. Try being honest Rawhide, tell them it's going straight into your account to pay for designer clothes, all those meals out and nights away with Captain Cokehead, and of course that £55k camper van.
- she's off to see her rancid mate Knee Deep doing her live show in Bristol, with a selection of paid mates (and Mannah). In a shocking twist, it appears that she left Merlot Mike at home, alone
how did she cope worrying that he might accidentally fall penis-first into a passing woman while she didn't have eyes on him? Afterwards, she shared a touching moment between KDIL and Mannah, with them simulating sex
- Rabble said she was off on the school run (even though she says she can't do the school run and hasn't been able to since 2019 because the playground is full of chrolls
)
- Fungus Flaps thought that Sloshy in his bird cage putting rings on the baby chicks was riveting content (spoiler - it wasn't).
- poor old Gangsta Granny got roped into an advert for car insurance, make the elderly lady earn her keep as well as the kids!
- Wilby and another kid were playing near some water, while Ratshit sat miles away taking photos of her nails and a book. Top parenting there.
- some guff about the postie at her old house who was, of course, really lush, and is now retiring. Of course she keeps in touch with him, and also has old texts from 2018 with him still in her phone (weirdo). The postie's daughter sent her a card, with handwriting that looked suspiciously like Joyce's
- a quick mention of wanting to provide equine therapy for the families at the centre, but of course they've got no funding (aka "please buy my shit t-shirts and pay my Patreon so that Bratsy doesn't have to cut her holiday short")
- and a beg for baby stuff for someone, including nappies and wipes. £17k a month in Patreon donations, and she can't manage to cobble together enough for some basics.
- awww, Bratsy's been crying down the phone again because she's pissed and had her purse nicked. Let's hope it wasn't someone who'd seen her mum's stupid post about her being on her own now her mates have gone home, and targeted her...
- meanwhile, on Bratsy's stories she was at some pool party, showing lots of young women surrounded by middle aged men
- there was more BeKind drama - she had possibly had her drink spiked, while Sloshy insisted it was just a hangover
- The toxic twins went off to pick up food for the community fridge bollocks, with Sloshy doing one of his weird role play games pretending he doesn't know Ratface. I'd rather not witness someone's foreplay, thanks.
- Grabby Glenda rummaged through the donated food, pointing out how lush everything is, and what stuff is whose favourite. But it's not for you and your family hun, it shouldn't matter who likes what
anyone can come down to the ex launderette and collect food, there's no vetting to make sure people actually need it, so no doubt it will all go to Rabies and her mates. Of course if the huns want to help, they could always donate to a food bank or charity local to them - oh no, sorry, my mistake, they should send vouchers/order supermarket shops etc to the Snatchwork centre
because there's only food poverty in Torbaydos, nowhere else in the country.
- Seb has followed the example of the adults in the house, and been passive aggressive/sarcastic with Wilby because he didn't want to sit next to him in the back of the scampervan. Rambo said "he doesn't need that, he's 3 and he's autistic". What he also doesn't need is his mum using his autism in that way against someone else but here we are.
- it turns out that even while they were on holiday in Cornwall, Racket was still grifting, filming an advert for yoghurts with Wilbert.
- down on the beach, Isaac, Gangsta Granny and Mannah were in attendance, further fuelling speculation that he's not living at the Patchwork Mansion as he's not been seen without one or the other of them in ages. Seb picked up Wilberforce, even though W was saying "no". Maybe teach your teenage stepson a about consent, oh saviour of women?
- old Mummy Marshall called Wilby "Wilbert" - tell us you read Tattle without telling us you read Tattle, Granny!
- the thrilling beach content continued, with Auntie Mannah filing Seb's toenail.
- Monday morning and Begging Betty was straight back on it, waffling on about their lush pantry and how it's open to anyone so nobody will have to prove they're struggling etc (sounds great, I'm sure nobody will abuse that then
). They've got some bins to be put in local businesses for donations, including "funeral parlours". Imagine rocking up to sort out a loved one's funeral, and tripping over the Snatchwork donation bin
if you don't live locally you can order a food shop from a supermarket to be delivered, or you can pay money directly into the Snatchwork bank account. Sounds legit babe, tell me how you're going to declare that on your accounts. Of course there's also the Patreon you can join. If you're in desperate need of food from the pantry, you better hope it's between 10am and 2pm on a Monday or Tuesday, because that's the only times they're open. It also turns out that it's not free (which Ratchet failed to mention), you get 12 items for £4, and have to bring a bag or pay 20p for one. So the woman who works tirelessly to help others is collecting free food and then selling it on. So lush.
- if anyone wanted to copy Racket's style and get some vile pink cowboy boots, you're in luck because she's got an affiliate link (no money off, but Rabies can increase her bank balance).
- she's now flogging a unisex scent through REBL, which apparently she's been wearing for years (apart from those times she was paid to advertise other perfumes, and whenever she's had the beauty box ones).
- oh god, there's dots of doom
Wilbert's had an hour session to look at his new school (just an open day, parents there etc). Apparently Wilberforce can't cope if he doesn't come straight home after pre-school (even though she often shows them at the beach having ice cream etc). Of course the teacher was lush, and came out holding some dinosaur toys for him, but Wilby was really anxious and "looks different" because he stands on his top toes and stims. He got upset, and started punching and kicking Rabies and Sloshua. She said that he looks to other people like "a naughty child who's not been taught to share", and she hates that she has to introduce him as being autistic
lots of fake crying, and how it all affects poor little Racquetball and makes her feel. The council have also refused an EHCP as they don't feel he needs one. Luckily for the saviour, there was another woman there with an autistic child, who was "broken and sobbing in her car", so despiyher own anguish and heartbreak, Rawhide went over, opened the car door and gave the woman a hug. Of course you did, hun
(if this lady exists, which I doubt, she'll be the next bestie to have Wibble dropped on her at a moment's notice, and will be given a job at the centre before she can blink). This alleged woman was on her own, and Raq said she couldn't have done it without some support for herself - strange thing to say for someone who was apparently a single mum to two teeny broken babies once upon a time
she even said that 15 years ago when Bratsy was starting school she would have looked at a kid behaving like Wibble and thought was naughty and a knob - yet before Wilby's diagnosis she said she'd worked with people with autism for 20 years
- the stress of being a parent has warranted a grid post, where Racket said she spends loads of time crying in the bathroom, so Cabernet Colin brings her iced water to replace the fluids
- despite living on fresh air, they've managed to get a new wood burner installed in the second lounge.
- Wobbly was picked up from pre school, and apparently didn't want to go home, he wanted to go to his new school. Even though just the day before, he kicked off because he didn't go home straight after pre school and he is so set in his routine that it set off a massive meltdown with punching and kicking
- BeKind has obviously decided to extend her holiday, as she's been trying to flog her Boardmasters ticket (which she'd previously said she was definitely coming back for). Probably realised she'll be the main babysitter for Wibble again, and wants to enjoy her life a bit more first
- Fellow Instacunt Miss Greedy's knocked up, and instead of commenting "congratulations", Rabies had to mention in the comments that she's previously had a miscarriage
always there to put a downer on things for her "mates" isn't she.
- quick, sell sell sell all the Snatchwork shit (surprise boxes, with the contents chosen by the gang), followed by "please enter our prize draw". What's the matter Raq, are the shop profits down and you've got Bratsy's next adventure to pay for?
- a snippet for Ratchet delivering her knock off Freedom course, where she basically tells "the women" that they might be on drink or drugs
- fuck me, an entire minute of Fake Tan Fred talking on the phone about bird eggs *snore*
- BeKind has had enough of travelling alone, and pissed off to Australia to stay with a friend (who's got a cat called Minge. Lush). Racket then got Wilbert to say "hi Minge".
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
February - 1 night in London after dropping Betsy at the airport
March - 1 night in Birmingham (book signings)
May - 2 nights at Herpes Lodge
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
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