Tribute to Rach
"Rachelle" - parody of "Belle" from beauty and the beast
Paignton town, it's a quiet village
By the sea, I'm a complete bore
Paignton town, full of those I've mugged off
Waking up to say...
"PayPal?! PayPal?!"
"PayPal?! PayPal?! PayPal!!?"
There goes me Rachele being fake like always
The same old crap and trolls to out
Every troll rant just the same
Got another one again
Gonna post on Instagram
(Random Hun)
"Good morning Raquel!"
(Rachele)
"Good morning hunny"
(Hun)
"Where you off to?!"
(Rachele)
"The bookshop. I've got an idea for another story! About haters, trolls and ogres-"
(Hun)
"Ah Jesus Christ - Marie! It's fungus flaps! Hurry up!"
(Tattlers)
Look there she goes, fandango smells, no question
Thrush, STI's and god knows what else
Doesn't blend with the insta crowd
Because she is a knob and proud
No denying she's a funny one Rachele
(Stranger)
Hello!
(Rachele)
Good day!
(Stranger)
Where is my money?!
(Rachele)
Isn't josh lucky, that I'm his wife?!
(Stranger)
She ripped us off - where's the donations?
(Rachele)
There must be someone to have my kids for the night!
*Book shop bell rings*
(Bookstore owner)
Ah, Raquel!
(Rachele)
Good morning! I've come to pitch a bestseller book to you.
(Bookstore owner)
Another one already??
(Rachele)
Oh I'm obsessed with talking about trolls and myself - could I also write about poo?!
(Bookstore owner)
You do that on patreon!?
(Rachele)
That's alright... I'll write about... MY life story!
(Bookstore owner)
Your life story?! But you've written that twice?!
(Rachele)
Well it's my favourite! I'm the victim, evil ex wives, a whole book of lies!
(Bookstore owner)
If you love yourself all that much, do four!
(Rachele)
But sir?
(Bookstore owner)
Your Huns insist!
(Rachele)
Well kerching! Another bestseller coming up!
*Leaves book shop*
(Tattlers)
Look there she goes living off "fresh air" - yeah right!
Her tax accounts she'll never tell
With her Tesco food brand deals
And a shit load of clothes reels
Gotta get back down to earth, Rachele!
(Rachele)
Ooohhhh
The trolls are jealous of me
It's my life they want because - you'll see
My lush Josh is raising Wilby
But he's on a "career break" while I write book three...
(Josh as Gaston)
I'm so corrupt I make the Met seem normal
Sacked from the police force but I'll never tell
Here in town it's only she
Who will continue to bankroll me
So I'm staying with the narc that is Raquel
(Tattlers)
Look there goes Slosh, isn't he sleazy?
He lost is job, he's such a fool
Got with Raquel, because of cheating
He such a twisted, deluded old tool!
(Strangers)
Hello
PayPal!?
(Rachele)
Good day!
(Strangers)
Where did my donations go?
(Strangers)
No one to phone at women's centre
(Strangers)
This is a scam
(Hun)
You must be mistaken!
(Rachele)
There must be a stranger to dump my kids on for the night!
(Josh)
A night at herpes lodge to "love hard" my wife!
(All)
Look there she goes that Rach is fake, not special
Mugging us off wherever she goes
Obsessed with shit and full of it
Acts like she is off her tits
But she really is a narcy bore
A self absorbed and narcy bore
We cannot wait for her downfall...
Rachellleeeeee...
"PayPal!? PayPal?!
PayPal!? PayPal?! PayPal!?"