New thread title thanks to @Roma890 
Also a special mention for @PutinOnTheRitz for writing this amazing little story https://tattle.life/threads/ptwm-17...ake-it-all-about-me-me-me.38769/post-14989097
Last thread recap:
- Rabies is, as always, a ginormous bleep
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- the previous thread ended with Ratchet telling some bullshit story on PatreCON about how some lad threw dog tit at one of Lula's friends, of course Cunty Caroline was straight on the phone to said friend to say she could come to the hamster cage house for a shower (in the prison cell toilet). She went on to say that she had to be "that mum" to ring the lady's mum to tell him what happened (nothing like inserting yourself into other people's business), and he's such a good lad, but he hangs around with someone who's in foster care so is already on the wrong path
she wants to bring the boy being fostered to their house so he can see what a proper family looks like (surely she means by taking him to one of the neighbours, because there's nothing normal about the way that house and family operates). Then she'd spoken to the foster parents who are really lush. So all the parents dislike her and they're her biggest chrolls, but they're also all really lush and she has everyone's number to call them night and day 
- after Tattlers noted that Lianne has been AWOL for a while, Rancid shared a video from last year of sitting playing a game, and tagged Lianne saying "can we do this again soon".
- after being unable to do "beachy waves" on her own hair (and losing her rag with Lula for not being able to do them for her), Rhubarb got Mannah to do it instead. Of course, Mannah is experienced in styling Rancho's hair, having trimmed her pubes when they were teenagers. Wilbur was looking very cute in a Zog dressing up costume, while Hannah interacted with him far better than either of his parents seem to be able to. No wonder Rabies is desperate to be Hannah, she has a normal, happy home, and she can even cook a far better roast dinner than her useless prick of a brother (no dishwater gravy chez Mannah!).
- Old notaPC NoJob kicked the week off by showing Wilbert in a booster seat in the car (that he's too young for) and with his arm not properly in the seatbelt - basically if they have an accident, the poor lad will have absolutely no protection
useless bleep parents strike again.
- Rambo's jumped on the Amazon affiliate link train now, so expect piles and piles of tit to be flogged
- despite being a 40 year old mum and stepmum to 6 kids who had to take care of herself after her mum abandoned her in a puddle of piss when she was a teeny tiny baby of 4, Rashflaps wanted to make sure that Jo the doormat was proud of her for doing an online shop all by herself (of course Jo was, because she's so far up Rancid's hole that she can see out of her throat, and knows that she needs praising for every single thing she manages to do). Anyway, she thrillingly talked us through the shop, lots of snacks and junk, but not a lot of stuff to make actual meals from.
- YTS Alan has obviously been on the blower, because yet another tit clothing reel has been rolled out. A selection of unflattering old lady dresses and toddler dungarees, all with shoes that don't match, and we know she'll never actually wear any of it. It was so dire that even Top Knot Tina could barely raise a smile.
- the accounts for PTWM were published, showing far smaller amounts than expected. I have no idea what any of it means, but here is a post explaining a bit more https://tattle.life/threads/ptwm-17...ake-it-all-about-me-me-me.38769/post-14905319
- then it was on to a bleeping awful cooking video - on the same day she showed off a lush new phone holder that follows her around the room, she attempted to cook one handed while filming apparently cottage pie starts with blending onion in a Magimix (tagged of course, in case they want to get in touch for an ad deal), then carrots and celery prepared the same way ("blended up so the kids don't know what they're eating"). All in the lush pan that can go in the oven, at least she bothered to cook the mince off this time. She added a ton of water, then a load of random old shite (brown sauce, ketchup, one stock cube, some Marmite, and probably a couple of Joyce's sweaty jockstraps). Despite making a point of saying she can cook the whole thing in one pan and save loads of washing up, she then drained the meat out and put the stock back in the pan to "make gravy" (by adding half a jar of Bistro). Then the gravy went into a seperate bowl, so the mince could go back in the pan, it's like culinary musical chairs. Then Rambo gave up and pissed off (probably to eye duck herself in the big mirror) and Merlot Malc had to finish it off. It ended up being tiny considering the size of the family (although Seb and Lula are probably out with their mates, Isaac is living with either Gangsta Granny or Mannah, and Edie's at her dad's).
- onto more thrilling content from the family group chat, with Ulcerated Ursula having found a bottle of piss on the windowsill out in the shed. According to Lula, it's been sat there since Bratsy left. Whatever she's paying Linda, it's clearly not enough to be dealing with bottles of fermented piss that have been left in the sun for months.
- in the back of the car on the way to pre school, Wobbly was eating packet of mini Oreos for his breakfast. Two parents who don't work, and neither of them managed to find the time to give him something a bit more nutritious
Mama managed to put some bright pink lipstick on though, all about priorities.
- Wilby's been bought yet more dinosaur toys, because the twelve million he's already got just aren't enough
- the clothing reel attracted a couple of comments asking whether tit Mum Shirley is pregnant, and queen of the huns Nikki was on hand to jump in and call someone a dick. Even when asked why she couldn't "be kind" she doubled down and carried on, leaving Tattlers wondering who was looking after her children while she was being a bleep to strangers on the internet
- Rancid is now offering to show their daily dog walks, is the content running a bit dry? And where has the lush dog walker gone?
- luckily we were all saved from another cooking video because the phone holder thing she bought off Amazing wasn't following her around the room like it shows. What a shame, we were all looking forward to seeing what greasy slop she's thrown together!
- for the purpose of a razor advert, Hairy Legs Harriet showed us how she saves water by shaving her legs using a jug of water instead of doing it in the shower. Sadly it wasn't the infamous gravy jug, but it was still one she'd taken from the kitchen. Mmmmm, leg hair in your dinner.
- while making yet another dinner video, she filmed Seb arguing with Sloshy because Gangsta Granny gave him a lift (or something). Apparently Toupee Terry thinks he shouldn't be getting lifts from her because she's old and "worn out".
- the shop has published the opening hours for the next week. 2 days at 10-3, 1 day at 10-1, and 3 days "by appointment only". Does she honestly think that people will want to make an appointment to come to the tat shop and buy some sweary socks and a leopard print cushion?
Combined with the recent 40% off sale, it looks like the Snatchwork store is going down the pan.
- another round of making out that basic parenting is actually special distraction techniques for level 3 autistic Wilberforce back in the car, not properly restrained, and boring content of Wilbert talking about dinosaurs. Again.
- Buck Toothed Brenda and PA Jo were inexplicably sitting in a camper van, talking about getting one. Not really the behaviour of someone "living on fresh air". She has a vision of being a "camper van mum", when in reality we all know all the kids would hate it, the gruesome twosome would hate being in such close proximity to their kids, and it would be a massive flop all round.
- the book tour date in Totnes dawned, and after seeing Mannah in a Nirvana t-shirt last weekend, Ratchet decided she wanted to steal the look. Unfortunately she teamed it with a very odd looking orange sequinned skirt, which looked exactly like the wrapper off an old bottle of Lucozade
the same outfit looked alright on the model on the website, but unfortunately Rancid missed the mark.
- Five Grand Watch Fred took Wilbert out to the pirate festival in Brixham. Great idea, taking a violent, non verbal, level 3 autistic child out to an event that's noisy and crowded
- not having any real chrolls of her own, Rancid yet again jumped on someone else's bandwagon of "catching" one and outing them but later deleted the story.
- Ratarse and Sacked Copper Steve were showing Edie and Wobbly around a camper van and talking about who will sleep where. It's unclear whether they're buying it (despite living on fresh air), hired it, or were just looking round and trolling us. Either way, they'll only be taking the 2 youngest, so Seb, Lula and Isaac will be left fending for themselves at home. The van is currently on sale for a steal at Β£55k.
- on PatreCON, Ratface was fake crying about Wilby going to school, and how the teachers will talk about their brothers and sisters, but Wilbob won't be able to "because he can't speak" (yet we've heard him speak many, many times), and won't know what "sister" or "brother" means apparently there were "about 7 kids doing woodwork and there wasn't an adult there", yes, of course everyone believes that a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds were sawing and drilling, knocking up a couple of cabinets she's worried he won't make friends (even though he's made friends really well at his pre school). Of course Jo was there, simpering like the massive lickarse she is 
the upshot of it all is that she now wants to hold Wilby back a year from starting school
- Rabies and Wilbert were at Gangsta Granny's, seemingly without Sloshy, and GG told Ratfink that "my house is your house, you know that". Later came a grid post all about how old Mummy Marshall had a fall, and it's made Rabies realise how frail she is (despite having spent the weekend sleeping on her sofa because R "needed her"). Never one to miss a chance to sling her own mum under the bus, she said that she'd never thought she'd be upset at the death of one of her parents because of the relationship they don't have.
- Gangsta Granny was in the car with Slosh and Wrecks, saying she's got plenty of money they don't know about, head Dad was rambling on about her "power of eternity"
he's definitely that bleep that uses words and phrases he doesn't understand because he thinks it makes him sound intelligent.
- Fresh Air Fiona has put a deposit down on the Β£55k campervan (which means that no doubt she'll be buying it, as the deposit will be non-refundable). But remember folks, she's not telling you not to set up a Go Fund Me to pay for Granny's shoulder surgery, but she's not NOT telling you, if you catch my drift
- another bleeping prize draw for the Snatchwork Shitshow, although at this point she may as well tel the huns it's going straight into her pocket to pay for fillers, Gucci, and the Saturday night coke fest her and Pasta Pan Pete like to indulge in, and they'd all still go "aww babe, you deserve it"
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
February - 1 night in London after dropping Betsy at the airport
March - 1 night in Birmingham (book signings)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Also a special mention for @PutinOnTheRitz for writing this amazing little story https://tattle.life/threads/ptwm-17...ake-it-all-about-me-me-me.38769/post-14989097
Last thread recap:
- Rabies is, as always, a ginormous bleep
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- the previous thread ended with Ratchet telling some bullshit story on PatreCON about how some lad threw dog tit at one of Lula's friends, of course Cunty Caroline was straight on the phone to said friend to say she could come to the hamster cage house for a shower (in the prison cell toilet). She went on to say that she had to be "that mum" to ring the lady's mum to tell him what happened (nothing like inserting yourself into other people's business), and he's such a good lad, but he hangs around with someone who's in foster care so is already on the wrong path
she wants to bring the boy being fostered to their house so he can see what a proper family looks like (surely she means by taking him to one of the neighbours, because there's nothing normal about the way that house and family operates). Then she'd spoken to the foster parents who are really lush. So all the parents dislike her and they're her biggest chrolls, but they're also all really lush and she has everyone's number to call them night and day - after Tattlers noted that Lianne has been AWOL for a while, Rancid shared a video from last year of sitting playing a game, and tagged Lianne saying "can we do this again soon".
- after being unable to do "beachy waves" on her own hair (and losing her rag with Lula for not being able to do them for her), Rhubarb got Mannah to do it instead. Of course, Mannah is experienced in styling Rancho's hair, having trimmed her pubes when they were teenagers. Wilbur was looking very cute in a Zog dressing up costume, while Hannah interacted with him far better than either of his parents seem to be able to. No wonder Rabies is desperate to be Hannah, she has a normal, happy home, and she can even cook a far better roast dinner than her useless prick of a brother (no dishwater gravy chez Mannah!).
- Old notaPC NoJob kicked the week off by showing Wilbert in a booster seat in the car (that he's too young for) and with his arm not properly in the seatbelt - basically if they have an accident, the poor lad will have absolutely no protection
useless bleep parents strike again.- Rambo's jumped on the Amazon affiliate link train now, so expect piles and piles of tit to be flogged
- despite being a 40 year old mum and stepmum to 6 kids who had to take care of herself after her mum abandoned her in a puddle of piss when she was a teeny tiny baby of 4, Rashflaps wanted to make sure that Jo the doormat was proud of her for doing an online shop all by herself (of course Jo was, because she's so far up Rancid's hole that she can see out of her throat, and knows that she needs praising for every single thing she manages to do). Anyway, she thrillingly talked us through the shop, lots of snacks and junk, but not a lot of stuff to make actual meals from.
- YTS Alan has obviously been on the blower, because yet another tit clothing reel has been rolled out. A selection of unflattering old lady dresses and toddler dungarees, all with shoes that don't match, and we know she'll never actually wear any of it. It was so dire that even Top Knot Tina could barely raise a smile.
- the accounts for PTWM were published, showing far smaller amounts than expected. I have no idea what any of it means, but here is a post explaining a bit more https://tattle.life/threads/ptwm-17...ake-it-all-about-me-me-me.38769/post-14905319
- then it was on to a bleeping awful cooking video - on the same day she showed off a lush new phone holder that follows her around the room, she attempted to cook one handed while filming
apparently cottage pie starts with blending onion in a Magimix (tagged of course, in case they want to get in touch for an ad deal), then carrots and celery prepared the same way ("blended up so the kids don't know what they're eating"). All in the lush pan that can go in the oven, at least she bothered to cook the mince off this time. She added a ton of water, then a load of random old shite (brown sauce, ketchup, one stock cube, some Marmite, and probably a couple of Joyce's sweaty jockstraps). Despite making a point of saying she can cook the whole thing in one pan and save loads of washing up, she then drained the meat out and put the stock back in the pan to "make gravy" (by adding half a jar of Bistro). Then the gravy went into a seperate bowl, so the mince could go back in the pan, it's like culinary musical chairs. Then Rambo gave up and pissed off (probably to eye duck herself in the big mirror) and Merlot Malc had to finish it off. It ended up being tiny considering the size of the family (although Seb and Lula are probably out with their mates, Isaac is living with either Gangsta Granny or Mannah, and Edie's at her dad's).- onto more thrilling content from the family group chat, with Ulcerated Ursula having found a bottle of piss on the windowsill out in the shed. According to Lula, it's been sat there since Bratsy left. Whatever she's paying Linda, it's clearly not enough to be dealing with bottles of fermented piss that have been left in the sun for months.
- in the back of the car on the way to pre school, Wobbly was eating packet of mini Oreos for his breakfast. Two parents who don't work, and neither of them managed to find the time to give him something a bit more nutritious
Mama managed to put some bright pink lipstick on though, all about priorities. - Wilby's been bought yet more dinosaur toys, because the twelve million he's already got just aren't enough
- the clothing reel attracted a couple of comments asking whether tit Mum Shirley is pregnant, and queen of the huns Nikki was on hand to jump in and call someone a dick. Even when asked why she couldn't "be kind" she doubled down and carried on, leaving Tattlers wondering who was looking after her children while she was being a bleep to strangers on the internet
- Rancid is now offering to show their daily dog walks, is the content running a bit dry? And where has the lush dog walker gone?
- luckily we were all saved from another cooking video because the phone holder thing she bought off Amazing wasn't following her around the room like it shows. What a shame, we were all looking forward to seeing what greasy slop she's thrown together!
- for the purpose of a razor advert, Hairy Legs Harriet showed us how she saves water by shaving her legs using a jug of water instead of doing it in the shower. Sadly it wasn't the infamous gravy jug, but it was still one she'd taken from the kitchen. Mmmmm, leg hair in your dinner.
- while making yet another dinner video, she filmed Seb arguing with Sloshy because Gangsta Granny gave him a lift (or something). Apparently Toupee Terry thinks he shouldn't be getting lifts from her because she's old and "worn out".
- the shop has published the opening hours for the next week. 2 days at 10-3, 1 day at 10-1, and 3 days "by appointment only". Does she honestly think that people will want to make an appointment to come to the tat shop and buy some sweary socks and a leopard print cushion?
Combined with the recent 40% off sale, it looks like the Snatchwork store is going down the pan.- another round of making out that basic parenting is actually special distraction techniques for level 3 autistic Wilberforce
back in the car, not properly restrained, and boring content of Wilbert talking about dinosaurs. Again. - Buck Toothed Brenda and PA Jo were inexplicably sitting in a camper van, talking about getting one. Not really the behaviour of someone "living on fresh air". She has a vision of being a "camper van mum", when in reality we all know all the kids would hate it, the gruesome twosome would hate being in such close proximity to their kids, and it would be a massive flop all round.
- the book tour date in Totnes dawned, and after seeing Mannah in a Nirvana t-shirt last weekend, Ratchet decided she wanted to steal the look. Unfortunately she teamed it with a very odd looking orange sequinned skirt, which looked exactly like the wrapper off an old bottle of Lucozade
the same outfit looked alright on the model on the website, but unfortunately Rancid missed the mark.- Five Grand Watch Fred took Wilbert out to the pirate festival in Brixham. Great idea, taking a violent, non verbal, level 3 autistic child out to an event that's noisy and crowded
- not having any real chrolls of her own, Rancid yet again jumped on someone else's bandwagon of "catching" one and outing them
but later deleted the story.- Ratarse and Sacked Copper Steve were showing Edie and Wobbly around a camper van and talking about who will sleep where. It's unclear whether they're buying it (despite living on fresh air), hired it, or were just looking round and trolling us. Either way, they'll only be taking the 2 youngest, so Seb, Lula and Isaac will be left fending for themselves at home. The van is currently on sale for a steal at Β£55k.
- on PatreCON, Ratface was fake crying about Wilby going to school, and how the teachers will talk about their brothers and sisters, but Wilbob won't be able to "because he can't speak" (yet we've heard him speak many, many times), and won't know what "sister" or "brother" means
apparently there were "about 7 kids doing woodwork and there wasn't an adult there", yes, of course everyone believes that a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds were sawing and drilling, knocking up a couple of cabinets she's worried he won't make friends (even though he's made friends really well at his pre school). Of course Jo was there, simpering like the massive lickarse she is the upshot of it all is that she now wants to hold Wilby back a year from starting school - Rabies and Wilbert were at Gangsta Granny's, seemingly without Sloshy, and GG told Ratfink that "my house is your house, you know that". Later came a grid post all about how old Mummy Marshall had a fall, and it's made Rabies realise how frail she is (despite having spent the weekend sleeping on her sofa because R "needed her"). Never one to miss a chance to sling her own mum under the bus, she said that she'd never thought she'd be upset at the death of one of her parents because of the relationship they don't have.
- Gangsta Granny was in the car with Slosh and Wrecks, saying she's got plenty of money they don't know about, head Dad was rambling on about her "power of eternity"
he's definitely that bleep that uses words and phrases he doesn't understand because he thinks it makes him sound intelligent.- Fresh Air Fiona has put a deposit down on the Β£55k campervan (which means that no doubt she'll be buying it, as the deposit will be non-refundable). But remember folks, she's not telling you not to set up a Go Fund Me to pay for Granny's shoulder surgery, but she's not NOT telling you, if you catch my drift
- another bleeping prize draw for the Snatchwork Shitshow, although at this point she may as well tel the huns it's going straight into her pocket to pay for fillers, Gucci, and the Saturday night coke fest her and Pasta Pan Pete like to indulge in, and they'd all still go "aww babe, you deserve it"
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
February - 1 night in London after dropping Betsy at the airport
March - 1 night in Birmingham (book signings)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
.
