Erm isn’t her birthday in May
Imagine all the shit she has on her phone! I bet she has about 5 memory SD cardsErm isn’t her birthday in Mayso that cooking story was last month
She probably had metal clips too. Poor woman was probably partially decapitated, like Joyce was recently.. surgeons are so skilled these days.So when someone "rips" their ear open, does it get stitched AND glued? I thought it was one or the other. I could be wrong though.
But we know she doesn't exaggerate or lie, so who are we to question anything?
This is SPECTACULARAs I’m waiting for whatever is happening in the Hamstercage House of Horrors to be disclosed, I thought I’d write a little story to amuse in the meantime.
The Rancido
A chroll took a stroll down Brixham town
A hun saw the chroll, and looked them up and down
“Where are you going to, you monstrous chroll,
Come and eat sandwiches in the Hobbit Hole?”
It’s a horrific offer, hun, so no -
I’m trying to meet up with a Rancido
“A Rancido? What’s a Rancido?”
A Rancido! Why, didn’t you know?
She has terrible shits and they’re awfully stinky,
She shares them with Josh, who we all call Slinky
“Where are you meeting her?”
Here, by these rocks
and her favourite thing is greasy, limp locks.
“Greasy, limp locks?” The hun looked sad
“Goodbye chroll, even I think that’s bad”
Silly old hun! Doesn’t she know,
There are far worse things about the Rancido
On went the chroll down to the harbour
Josh was then, kitted out all in Barbour
“Where are you going to, you monstrous chroll?
Come and watch birds whilst I sign on the dole”
It’s a triggering offer, Joyce, but no
I’m trying to hunt down a Rancido
“A Rancido? What’s a Rancido?”
A Rancido! Why, didn’t you know?
She has lots of money and a lack of taste
And since she hit peri, she’s got no waist
“Where are you meeting her?”
Here by this farm
She’s in the process of causing kids lasting harm
“Lasting harm? No way” Josh scoffed and then said
“I’m the one at risk, I share her bed”
Silly old Josh! Doesn’t he know
He and his kids should flee the Rancido
On went the chroll, who came to the beach
And bumped into Wibble, eating a peach
“Where are you going, you monstrous chroll?
Come and eat firelighters and maybe some coal”
It’s a wow-tastic offer, Wilbs, but no
I’m trying to stalk a Rancido
“A Rancido? What’s a Rancido?”
A Rancido! Why, didn’t you know?
She’s actually your mummy, but you wouldn’t guess
She’s determined to make all her kids’ lives a mess
“Where are you meeting her?”
Here at this pub,
She’ll drive fizzy cat’s piss and eat some posh grub
“Sans kids?” Wibble asked, looking quite glum
“Never mind” he quipped, “I can find a new mum”
Bright little Wilbur, he’s smarter than Jo
He knows how to scare off the Rancid…
OH!
But who is this creature with awful clothes,
Stretched out eyebrows and a squinty nose
She has tiny tits and turned in toes
And is top of the league when it comes to hoes
Her skin is brown, like overcooked beef
Her kids are escaping and so are her teeth
Oh help, oh no
It’s a Rancido
“An actual chroll!” the Rancido said
No, said the Tattler, it’s all in your head
“In my head?” said the Rancido, “that can’t be true
Tattlers are chrolls, especially you
You’re all just jealous and horrifically mean
Of my books and my talent and the way I say seen”
No way! said the Tattler, I’d live in a bin
Before I said seen the way you say “sin”
Your writings deluded, your husband’s a sap
I’d rather watch Ethel taking a crap
Your family is broken, your bills are sky high
You care not a jot and fly to Dubai
Fat tears splash down and the vomiting starts
Not for your babies or their tiny broken hearts
Instead it’s all “myself”, “me” and “I”
The Rancido can always squeeze out a cry
Sort yourself out, the Tattler commanded
Get the Patchwork shitshow fully disbanded
Tend to your kids, house and pets
Stop fibbing about costs and bills from your vets
Come clean about scamming and going on the rob
Delete insta and find a real job
Remove the quiff and wonky smile
Tell the truth and find your own style
The Rancido took a moment, shrugged and replied
“My mum abandoned me when I was four” she loudly cried
“I wanted those trainers, love and big hugs
I didn’t get them, so I turned to hard drugs
Now I live on fresh air and am buying a van
“Why?”, I hear you ask
Well, just because I can!
She didn't post much about her night in Totnes, it must have been straight after or early the next day. Cracks beginning to show now, constantly together, don't trust each other, telling everyone that they're having so much sex🥱There was a live earlier, was half watching while cooking tea, but I swear she said she’d messaged a patreon troll from here… anyone on patreon check your spam messages (and spam) incase.
I can’t watch anymore and I’m out but we were right her and J had a big row so she slept on GG’s sofa!
Baffles me how she even left her house because they had a row! She has kids ffs, grow up! Shes so immature.There was a live earlier, was half watching while cooking tea, but I swear she said she’d messaged a patreon troll from here… anyone on patreon check your spam messages (and spam) incase.
I can’t watch anymore and I’m out but we were right her and J had a big row so she slept on GG’s sofa!
They're just manky as fuck, neither of them can cook so why would they need to clean up after themselves?Urgh considering Linda the cleaner is there 247 the undersides of them kitchen cupboards have never seen a cloth
That kitchen is grim, also like the way she suddenly appears in an apron after realising her track pants are not flattering at all !They're just manky as fuck, neither of them can cook so why would they need to clean up after themselves?
It's all very Emperors New Clothes isn't it. Like everyone can see that this character of Wilby she's created (violent, non-verbal, doesn't understand etc) us absolutely nothing like the little boy she CONSTANTLY films on her page. And everyone can see she's very wealthy now despite pleading poverty. But absolutely noone dares say it and they all just nod and tug their forelocks abs big her up. It's genuinely utterly bizarre.Is that non verbal Wobble who understands nothing using his fingers to count and name dinosaurs?! Just why lie and make out he's worse than he is? I know, because she can etc but it actually makes me sad that she doesn't appreciate what a bright little boy she's got
Did she seriously wear that to her book signing?She didn't post much about her night in Totnes, it must have been straight after or early the next day. Cracks beginning to show now, constantly together, don't trust each other, telling everyone that they're having so much sex🥱
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I thought that. I recognised her whinging about that camera from one of her posts last week (or maybe the week before).Erm isn’t her birthday in Mayso that cooking story was last month
Thanks! Unfortunately, I had to do some actual work today (those bastards), will try and do a new one next week xThis is SPECTACULAR
such a horrendous photo of both of them. They’d be lucky to find other people to shag.She didn't post much about her night in Totnes, it must have been straight after or early the next day. Cracks beginning to show now, constantly together, don't trust each other, telling everyone that they're having so much sex🥱
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They do say, drunk people, children and leggings tell the truthThe latest cooking storiesIs she even capable of cooking an entire meal without joyce taking over?
Slosh says to E 'Edie you've got a problem with coke', E's response 'Coming from him'
Yup, That kid knows exactly what the clampets do of a weekend
Thank you!
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